ChubbyLeahCD
02-24-2012, 04:07 PM
Growing up my da and I were not very close.
My mom and I were an she is the girliest of them all!
I think that factor alone would have led me to crossdressing because I remember that i always was more comfortable around women (still am) and was always very sensitive.
But, in Kindegarten I was sexually abused by two older boys that were part of the after school program.
Around 6th grade as we moved to a smaller town my parents would leave the house and I would be alone for a few hours and mommy's closet was my playground sometimes.
Then summer of sophomore year in college I was drugged at a bar and gang raped by two men and a woman. I was not dressed like a girl when it happened. At the time I woke up the next morning in the back of my mom's van that I drove on the side of the road naked, covered in dry semen and a lot of condom wrappers.
At the time I didn't know who or how many but then a year and a half later, also on a school break, I was walking back from a party very late at night and on the way over I had to pee so I went by a tree and then I heard a man's voice and the flashbacks from my previous rape came back. They lived about 3/4 mile from my parents house in a rundown house. I was drunk so I was an easy target so they took me inside and started saying how much fun I was the last time and that I was so good that I should dress up in some of the lady's clothes. They had a gun, the woman had a black eye and told me to just go with it and they would leave me alone.
After I wrestled with the anger at myself crossdressing came fiercely and that's when I actually started my own collection.
Does anyone also feel like they would have become CDs eventually but that something in life just sped up the process?
And don't worry about me, I'm fine! I don't blame myself anymore nor do I have flashbacks. CDing became my coping and I am fine with it!
My mom and I were an she is the girliest of them all!
I think that factor alone would have led me to crossdressing because I remember that i always was more comfortable around women (still am) and was always very sensitive.
But, in Kindegarten I was sexually abused by two older boys that were part of the after school program.
Around 6th grade as we moved to a smaller town my parents would leave the house and I would be alone for a few hours and mommy's closet was my playground sometimes.
Then summer of sophomore year in college I was drugged at a bar and gang raped by two men and a woman. I was not dressed like a girl when it happened. At the time I woke up the next morning in the back of my mom's van that I drove on the side of the road naked, covered in dry semen and a lot of condom wrappers.
At the time I didn't know who or how many but then a year and a half later, also on a school break, I was walking back from a party very late at night and on the way over I had to pee so I went by a tree and then I heard a man's voice and the flashbacks from my previous rape came back. They lived about 3/4 mile from my parents house in a rundown house. I was drunk so I was an easy target so they took me inside and started saying how much fun I was the last time and that I was so good that I should dress up in some of the lady's clothes. They had a gun, the woman had a black eye and told me to just go with it and they would leave me alone.
After I wrestled with the anger at myself crossdressing came fiercely and that's when I actually started my own collection.
Does anyone also feel like they would have become CDs eventually but that something in life just sped up the process?
And don't worry about me, I'm fine! I don't blame myself anymore nor do I have flashbacks. CDing became my coping and I am fine with it!