Anne2345
02-24-2012, 04:10 PM
Let me start off by saying that I love MAC cosmetics. More to the point, I love going to any MAC store in person, speaking to the staff about my specific needs, soliciting makeup tips and advice, viewing makeup demonstrations, and purchasing my own makeup and brushes.
Over the past half a year or so, given the numerous trips I have made to my local MAC store, my MAC makeup collection has grown ridiculously large. In fact, I have retired all of my old makeup in favor of MAC makeup. But of course, everything I purchase, I simply must have, and absolutely need. I mean, I can't not go without it, right? :)
But for me, I purchase my makeup in person at MAC stores for reasons other than merely growing my makeup collection or branching out. Primarily, I visit MAC stores because the MAC associates are an absolutely wonderful, nice, helpful, friendly, and non-judgemental folk. When I discuss my needs or request makeup tips with a MAC associate, I am treated no differently than if I was just another valued female client. In this, I am given all of the time and undivided attention I request and need. I am treated as if I am a valued customer, because I am valued. Even moreso, I am appreciated for who and what I am. The experience is validating in the extreme, and serves to further legitimize my existence.
So given this wonderful mecca of acceptance, and how comfortable I have become purchasing my own makeup and clothing over the last half a year, how could I not feel at home at MAC? Especially at MAC, where the staff goes out of their way to ensure a positive experience? Mostly, I do feel quite at home when I shop there. However, yesterday I was a bit down. In an attempt to cheer myself up, I thought why not visit MAC, check out the makeup, catch up with the associates, and make some purchases? Talk about a recipe for an improved mood, or so I thought . . . .
Anyways, while travelling to the MAC store, I began feeling really nervous and uncomfortable. The closer I got to the store, the greater the feeling. When I actually arrived, I could not go in! For whatever reason(s), I could not face, acknowledge, or talk to the associates. I did the ole walking back and forth trick, trying to summon up and focus my courage, but to no avail. Ultimately, I just gave up without going in, walked away, got back into my car, and drove off. I chickened out! And this upset me.
Today being a new day, though, and having suffered the inner shame of having chickened out on something I had successfully and comfortably performed many times in the past, I felt like I had to get back in the saddle and go back. So at lunch time, I did exactly that. I took a long, extended lunch, and drove to the MAC store.
Again, I was inexplicably nervous. Yet this time, I walked straight in and to the associates without hesitation. And as always, upon arrival, I was greeted by warm smiles.
Still feeling the sting of failure from the day before, though, I felt compelled to confess to my associate how I had chickened out the day before. She good-naturedly reprimanded and scolded me for having done so, and assured me that there is nothing wrong with those such as I, that we are beautiful, and that we have nothing to worry about. In this, she was gentle, she was genuine, and she was heart felt. In other words, she made it quite clear to me that my fears were unfounded, that I need not be concerned, and that I can be myself around others under certain circumstances. Of course, based upon previous experience, I already knew this, but I could not get it through my thick skull yesterday.
As such, I have re-learned a valuable lesson that I almost allowed myself to forget. In this regard, I recognize that I continue to have good days and bad days, and that sometimes I do let the fear control my thoughts. However, as with today, I acknowledge that if I do get back up on that saddle soon thereafter, and just do it, I become less fearful, and dramatically increase the odds of success in the future. Certainly, fear can be powerful, but so can success!
Are there any trans related activities that you thought you had down pat that you, too, subsequently chickened out in? If so, what did you do to get back up on the saddle?
Over the past half a year or so, given the numerous trips I have made to my local MAC store, my MAC makeup collection has grown ridiculously large. In fact, I have retired all of my old makeup in favor of MAC makeup. But of course, everything I purchase, I simply must have, and absolutely need. I mean, I can't not go without it, right? :)
But for me, I purchase my makeup in person at MAC stores for reasons other than merely growing my makeup collection or branching out. Primarily, I visit MAC stores because the MAC associates are an absolutely wonderful, nice, helpful, friendly, and non-judgemental folk. When I discuss my needs or request makeup tips with a MAC associate, I am treated no differently than if I was just another valued female client. In this, I am given all of the time and undivided attention I request and need. I am treated as if I am a valued customer, because I am valued. Even moreso, I am appreciated for who and what I am. The experience is validating in the extreme, and serves to further legitimize my existence.
So given this wonderful mecca of acceptance, and how comfortable I have become purchasing my own makeup and clothing over the last half a year, how could I not feel at home at MAC? Especially at MAC, where the staff goes out of their way to ensure a positive experience? Mostly, I do feel quite at home when I shop there. However, yesterday I was a bit down. In an attempt to cheer myself up, I thought why not visit MAC, check out the makeup, catch up with the associates, and make some purchases? Talk about a recipe for an improved mood, or so I thought . . . .
Anyways, while travelling to the MAC store, I began feeling really nervous and uncomfortable. The closer I got to the store, the greater the feeling. When I actually arrived, I could not go in! For whatever reason(s), I could not face, acknowledge, or talk to the associates. I did the ole walking back and forth trick, trying to summon up and focus my courage, but to no avail. Ultimately, I just gave up without going in, walked away, got back into my car, and drove off. I chickened out! And this upset me.
Today being a new day, though, and having suffered the inner shame of having chickened out on something I had successfully and comfortably performed many times in the past, I felt like I had to get back in the saddle and go back. So at lunch time, I did exactly that. I took a long, extended lunch, and drove to the MAC store.
Again, I was inexplicably nervous. Yet this time, I walked straight in and to the associates without hesitation. And as always, upon arrival, I was greeted by warm smiles.
Still feeling the sting of failure from the day before, though, I felt compelled to confess to my associate how I had chickened out the day before. She good-naturedly reprimanded and scolded me for having done so, and assured me that there is nothing wrong with those such as I, that we are beautiful, and that we have nothing to worry about. In this, she was gentle, she was genuine, and she was heart felt. In other words, she made it quite clear to me that my fears were unfounded, that I need not be concerned, and that I can be myself around others under certain circumstances. Of course, based upon previous experience, I already knew this, but I could not get it through my thick skull yesterday.
As such, I have re-learned a valuable lesson that I almost allowed myself to forget. In this regard, I recognize that I continue to have good days and bad days, and that sometimes I do let the fear control my thoughts. However, as with today, I acknowledge that if I do get back up on that saddle soon thereafter, and just do it, I become less fearful, and dramatically increase the odds of success in the future. Certainly, fear can be powerful, but so can success!
Are there any trans related activities that you thought you had down pat that you, too, subsequently chickened out in? If so, what did you do to get back up on the saddle?