My wife isn't a girly girl, is yours?

[AlanaG]

For those of us who are attached to a female SO, I have a question. Is your wife feminine and girly? Mine isn't. She doesn't paint her nails, and she doesn't wear makeup. When she needed some pantyhose recently to attend a wedding, she asked to borrow some of mine. She really didn't need pantyhose with the dress she wore because it went all the way to her ankles. She would rather wear sweats and an old tee shirt. Dressing up for her is putting on some newer jeans and maybe a button up shirt, but definitely not what I would call feminine. She doesn't own any high heels, nor a skirt and sexy top. So, I told her that someone in the house needs to wear a dress. She got a chuckle out of that. But I wonder, if she was that type of woman, would I still feel a need to dress?

[Detroit Molly]

Nope. My wife makes a terrible girl. Can't wear makeup, can't walk in heels, can't match colors, and can barely dress herself if it's not mom jeans and an ugly sweater. In her defense, she was raised in a house where it was appropriate to wear Birkenstocks, and was taught that smart, powerful girls dress like old ladies. It's a shame really, 'cause she's a fine looking woman.

[Barbara Ella]

As our 41 years together began I will say emphatically yes, yes, yes. Over time, with children,and age the girly girl with frills has decreased, but the femininity has not. The short skirts and dresses have been replaced with jeans, slacks, and looser tops. No more heels, but more functional and comfortable. Quick makeup and hair, but still attractively done. No nail polish, but well kept and shaped.

So. girly girl, no. A feminine woman definitely.

Babes

[Eryn]

The "My wife isn't girly, so it pushed me to dress" theme is touched on fairly often here. Expect to feel some heat!

The fact is that our CDing is squarely on our own shoulders. Very few women dress to the level of femininity that we like for ourselves nor should they feel obligated to do so. Look around you and you'll find most women are dressed in comfy jeans or leggings and top. I do the same if I'm just going shopping, saving the dresses, skirts, and heels for evenings out.

[Marleena]

Nope, mine isn't Alana. She dresses very casual now with little makeup. She is my fashion advisor though.:)

[Marissa]

**Quote modified**

The "My wife isn't girly, so it pushed me to dress" theme is touched on fairly often here. Expect to feel some heat!

With history, I do agree with you, Eryn, that it may happen. Its unfair and unwarranted as this is one's thought and other's opinion without meaning any negativity.

I don't have an SO to compare this about, but its funny that my coworker (who knows about me) just mentioned of not being very girly after I told her why she liked a new SVU character and my plans to stop at Sam Moon to shop for costume jewelry, etc. She does wear some makeup but does not go beyond the standard work dress code. Other women would go a step above whether heels or cute tops.

Just like men who are most comfortable in jeans (Karren's alter ego :) ) vs those who do the suit and tie look..takes all types in the world...by the way, if that is your excuse to dress, more power to you ;)

[Jenniferathome]

Your wife's femininity is not related to your crossdressing. If she were more feminine, you might have more clothing options, but that's it. The only downside you have is that asking for style advice may be tougher for you.

The lament of many Crossdressers is that women in the functional world, dress as men like to dress: comfortably and as required. I believe many crossdressers, myself included, dress not as average women, but as an ideal vision of a woman. Call it a stereotype if you will. Perhaps the reason is that given the little time we have to dress, typically, we aim for the stars. If I dressed everyday, it would not be in a dress, most likely. The more I dress, the more casual I am trending, however. Kind of an interesting thing really.

[Babeba]

It'd be interesting to see how your wife feels about her femininity, and whether she sees herself the sme way you do. I wear skirts fairly often, usually without the heels, makeup and hose (that stuff is more and more rare these days on GGs, TBH.). My nails are usually chipped and unpainted, I haven't plucked my eyebrows in months (I used to be selfconscious about nearly approaching a unibtow, but if you pluck enough the hairs stop growing, how about that?). I love my sweats and my yoga pants, I have some cute tees, but if 'low maintenance' and 'girly' were to meet and procreate that would totally result in me. Am I not allowed to feel Girly because I don't own mascara?

I honestly see girliness as a state of mind, not of body or daily makeup choices.

[Robertacd]

My wife is defiantly a girl, she wears makeup, dresses, nylons, dresses and looks feminine all the time. But I am probably more of a girly girl. She wears basic underwear, the few bras she has are mostly beige or black, same with her panties. I have many more bras and love the colors, my panties are all silky nylon and in a rainbows of colors and patterns. But like she says, she is just not as "into that stuff" as I am.

But beyond the clothes, I am defiantly better at the more traditional feminine jobs. I am a better cook, and am tidier. Don't even get me started on laundry, If I let her do the laundry everything we own would be gray, pink, and shrunk to a size 0.

[STACY B]

Thats what outs us most of all . Im learning now just now not to do that ,, Be to girly I meen ,, Yull fit in way easier yull see 95% of woman dont dress like we do ,,An if ya live in a rural area its worse cuz more redneck chix ,, So think about it ,,, Something to think about ? Mom jeans an a fwem shirt just might be the ticket ya never no .

[Alice Torn]

Its tragic, that modern society has exchanged classiness, for comfort, wholesale.

[Tara D. Rose]

My wife is definatley very feminine, not girly. She has such a sultry sexy feminine voice, she does her nails, puts on nice smelling perfumes, three closets full of so many nice dressy clothes. Such beautiful eyes that stop men in thier tracks. Hundreds of heels and shoes. Such a lady is she. I'm really glad she is mine.

[Tanya C]

I think the term femininity begs definition here. It's been my experience that gg's are imbued with a natural femininity which is quite irrespective of the clothes they wear or the amount of makeup they use.
Actually, it is typically cders who have to work hard in order to achieve an appearance which is somewhat feminine, whereas gg's have it without even trying.
And, of course, when gg's do dress elegantly they merely enhance their natural beauty and femininty which is always present.
There are many reasons I emulate women and believe me, it's not just the clothes.

[Marleena]

I
I honestly see girliness as a state of mind, not of body or daily makeup choices.

Yep...it's not a competition because CDers lose to GG's every time.:) I was not being disrespectful about my wife. She is gifted in the fact that she doesn't even really need makeup. Women are feminine without any work.

[SweetPea_GG]

I think the term femininity begs definition here. It's been my experience that gg's are imbued with a natural femininity which is quite irrespective of the clothes they wear or the amount of makeup they use.
Actually, it is typically cders who have to work hard in order to achieve an appearance which is somewhat feminine, whereas gg's have it without even trying.
And, of course, when gg's do dress elegantly they merely enhance their natural beauty and femininty which is always present.
There are many reasons I emulate women and believe me, it's not just the clothes.

I liked your reply Tanya

I'll admit I'm not what the average CDer would call "girly girl". Would I like to be ..yes..

When my husband and I guest started our relationship I wore more skirts dresses makeup did my hair..
Then along comes child 1 and marriage. Now I am not only trying to take care of myself but now a little child and my husband (who can be the biggest children lol). And a house...So less time to focus on just me. But still enough time.

Along comes child 2... Taking yet more time..then child 3...2 dogs

While I would love to dress up daily over the years and have the best fashions and do my hair I never saw the point if I was cleaning house all day and caring for my children and changing diapers. So out came the jeans/swears and tshirts and ponytails.

But if you look hard enough under the sweats and jeans etc is the beautiful woman in your life who is by your side. And it should not matter what appears on the outside. Every woman wants to be treated like a princess no matter if she looks like a tomboy or not..

[Amanduhrob]

I live with 2 adult women... Neither one wears make up, or do their nails. Karen wears heels on occasion, but Holly never does. I own more feminine clothes than both of them combined, and my collection is relatively small.

[Ally 2112]

MY x wife did like to dress up and was very pretty and thin .But the sad thing is my cding forced her away from her feminity she told me she was afraid if she bought a new skirt or dress i would be all over it .Not true i left her stuff alone i had my own which she knew about and kept locked away (a compromise ) .To this day i feel bad this is not what i wanted and i would of still dressed wheather she dressed drabby or not it was going to happen with me

[noeleena]

Hi,

Depends on how you see beauty,

Jos is 60 had our three children who are in thier 30's. we had lots of animales & did lots of things, & Jos keeped house,

Today , some times skirts & different tops tho wear's jeans alot to day she did, as we were out , make up much of her life very little make up till i did , so now wears more tho its nice she has lines & Tells me about that & that i have better skin very few lines than her.
im 64
Shes a lovely woman who has had & still has health issues, & that is telling more so over the last 6 years, youth has gone yet still is very much a femm girl = woman.

...noeleena...

[Miriam-J]

MY x wife did like to dress up and was very pretty and thin .But the sad thing is my cding forced her away from her feminity she told me she was afraid if she bought a new skirt or dress i would be all over it .Not true i left her stuff alone i had my own which she knew about and kept locked away (a compromise ) .To this day i feel bad this is not what i wanted and i would of still dressed wheather she dressed drabby or not it was going to happen with me

We need to accept responsibility for our choice to dress in atypically girly fashions as being independent of our SO's choices, as many have written here already. Conversely, it's quite unfair for your spouse to put the blame on you for her choice of style. Sounds to me as though she was just looking for a way to strike at you in her disapproval of your choice. There's no reason for you to take on the burden from such a self-serving statement.

Miriam

[Maria 60]

When i met my wife she would wear skirts at least 5 time's a week and never with out pantyhose and on Sunday's she would go all out. Now 25yrs. later she hasn't wore a skirt as far as i can remember and for a girl who would own 10 to 20 pair of pantyhose at a time now if she doe's need a pair she will ask me for them. Even though she doesn't wear skirts she is still a girly girl she gets her nails done and she always has that fem touch when she dresses.

[Sara Jessica]

I think the term femininity begs definition here. It's been my experience that gg's are imbued with a natural femininity which is quite irrespective of the clothes they wear or the amount of makeup they use.
Actually, it is typically cders who have to work hard in order to achieve an appearance which is somewhat feminine, whereas gg's have it without even trying.
And, of course, when gg's do dress elegantly they merely enhance their natural beauty and femininty which is always present.
There are many reasons I emulate women and believe me, it's not just the clothes.

Wonderfully said.


I liked your reply Tanya

I'll admit I'm not what the average CDer would call "girly girl". Would I like to be ..yes..

When my husband and I guest started our relationship I wore more skirts dresses makeup did my hair..
Then along comes child 1 and marriage. Now I am not only trying to take care of myself but now a little child and my husband (who can be the biggest children lol). And a house...So less time to focus on just me. But still enough time.

Along comes child 2... Taking yet more time..then child 3...2 dogs

While I would love to dress up daily over the years and have the best fashions and do my hair I never saw the point if I was cleaning house all day and caring for my children and changing diapers. So out came the jeans/swears and tshirts and ponytails.

But if you look hard enough under the sweats and jeans etc is the beautiful woman in your life who is by your side. And it should not matter what appears on the outside. Every woman wants to be treated like a princess no matter if she looks like a tomboy or not..

Beautifully replied.

A woman's femininity is not defined by how she presents herself to the world, simple as that. They have scoreboard over those of us in TG land without even trying.

[Gillian Gigs]

Like others have commented, feminine, but not girly. She is all woman, from her thinking, to the way she acts, but not girly. I have a better lingerie collection than she does, she has a practicle side that can drive me nuts sometimes, especially in the clothing area.

[Meg East]

My wife is feminine but not girlie. She has me do her nails. I also noticed she comes to me for fashion advice. She has a tendency to wear dark baggy sweaters which I try to discourage.

[Julia_in_Pa]

My SO is a lesbian woman and is a soft butch.

The answer to your question would be no.


Julia

[Caleigh]

My wife doesn't know but I can tell you that I dress her. She has always looked to me on her hair, clothes, make up, etc. I've always liked helping her look good and she has always thought I had better taste and thoughts on style for her. Little does she know but we have a lot of the sames clothes, jewelry etc.!

[Lee Andrews]

I'm proud to say mine is a girly girl BUT tough as nails. She can get all prettied up with the best of them and doesn't think twice about getting down and dirty doing a project around the house. She can fish, put a worm on and has no problem handling anything she catches. I've taught her how to use power tools and she is not scared of them. Even doing that stuff she always seems to look her best in an old T-shirt and jeans.
I admire her for being proud to be a lady and not thinking there is something out there, she as a woman can't do because she is.

[alexmarie]

It sounds just like my wife she does not wear makeup very rarelly does her hair. Never wears a dress, skirt etc. She lives in her sweats and jeans and t shirts.She does not own one pair of heels.The only time her toes are painted is when I do them but she wont do her nails

[suchacutie]

I don't buy the notion that my wife's actions has anything to do with my internal transgenderism. I am who I am, and she is who she is. Tina and my wife both have a range of outfits from sexy to "garden clothes". Does anyone really think that clothes makes a woman "girly"? Anyone who has heard their woman "giggle" knows what I mean.

[Julie Denier]

My wife is what I might describe as a "ballsy chick" -- plenty feminine but takes no crap ;)

She doesn't dress up as much now as she did before we got married and had a child, which is perfectly understandable. She always looks great on those rare occasions when she does wear a dress or skirt and heels, but to my dismay, she typically shuns hosiery.

[Alice B]

Interesting question. My wife is very attractive, wears nice clothing and presents well. But not as a "grily girl". She does not dress in what most men would call sexy clothing, does not wear nighties to bed, etc. and her biggest hells are 2". I have far sexier clothing than she. So, I guess you are right. Someone has to wear the dresses at home.

[Shananigans]

I'm a girlie girl GG...if we are talking about clothes and makeup. I take pride in being a fashionista/makeupista. But, I can also change the oil in your car, run faster than you, catch more fish than you...etc., etc.

My SO and I both dress fabulously, but I tend to be the more "hands on" one. The only thing that I CAN'T do is kill a bug. I'm terrified of all flying insects (I'd die if you took me to a butterfly house), and I will stand on a chair if I see a roach. My SO takes pride in stomping bugs for me.

[AlanaG]

Thank you all for your comments. I understand what everyone is saying and I see that my theory doesn't hold any water. I do love my wife very much, she is a good wife and a great mother to our children, I wouldn't trade her for anyone else.

[Kate Simmons]

Quite honestly, you don't need to look girly to be feminine. A classic "Rosie the riveter" type is more feminine than I will ever be on one of my best days en femme.:)

[Rachel Morley]

My wife (by her own admission) is way more girly these days than she has ever been in her life since we got married and integrated my CDing into our lives. I don't think it's me and my dressing per se, it's just that she has chosen to express her own femininity differently. Nowadays she doesn't like to leave the house without a goodly amount of make up and her hair done, and it's important to her that she wear something that makes her feel empowered or cute (depending on where she is going and who's she will be dealing with). Is she a girly girl? .. she would say no as she likes me to dress way more girly than her and she is always the decision maker in our relationship. So to answer your question "is your wife a a girly girl?" ... I would say no, not really but she is "traditionally feminine" IMHO.

[joanna marie]

My wife is not very girly,very little makeup and never wears a dress or skirt
I own more heels than she does.

[Patti Remick]

It makes me so sad to see that so many crossdressers have the so typically misogynistic attitude that what a woman wears is connected to her femininity or 'girly' ness. A womans femininity comes from her heart, brain, and soul.

[chrissy hunt]

My partner isn't a girly girly either but I don't think that reflects on me really.
If anything if she had more sexy clothes etc I'd be more inclined to 'borrow' them I think lol
Its a very intersting discussion though and one I have though about quite a bit, when you live in each others pockets its surprising when you want such different things but I guess that's just the way of the world.

[Richelle423]

My SO is very tough and macsuline though she wears nail polish and eye liner. I can't dress in front of her. She allows me to wear women's underwear that aren't fem looking.I must admit I wear the panties in this relationship.

[ReineD]

But I wonder, if she was that type of woman, would I still feel a need to dress?

Yes you would. The crossdressing is internally motivated. Your wife could be the girliest girl in the world and it would make no difference. :)


Oh ... and for all of you whose SOs aren't "girly", I don't wear nail polish either. I'm in jeans most of the time, and I seldom wear makeup unless I'm going out for the evening. And I consider myself to be very girly. :) Girliness has absolutely nothing to do with clothes.

[daine]

My wife wears pants and tops. If she needs makeup or nail polish she will use mine.

[Megstar1]

I'm not girly ! I'm usually in jodhpurs and muckers and a t shirt or a hoody smelling of horse manure Lol. Attractive I think not ! But when we go out I wear make up and will dress up nicely which is usually very girly :)

[sometimes_miss]

My ex hated girly stuff. She was the ultimate tomboy, usually wore jeans and a tee shirt, liked sneakers and work boots. It was one of the things that made me think perhaps she understood that we shouldn't be defined by what we wear. Boy, was I wrong. It was basically a 'I can do, and wear, whatever I want, but you can't' situation, and no arguments from myself or our therapist made any difference. We're divorced now, and she used my CD'ing to blackmail me for all our assets.

[Beth Mays]

My wife has some awesome dresses and skirts, she is in senior management for her company but does not interact with customers other than business lunches/dinners even then she prefers pants as a power display, the dresses are for when we go out to dinner or on vacation. However her nails are always painted, makeup done, hair always nice, she has a Southern Belle voice that people can mistake for an college girl over the phone.
She loves to go 4-wheeling, tent camping, shooting (she has her CCW), yard work, etc with me as I hate TV, inside work, etc... I would rather watch road kill rot than American Idol... any way... when we are outdoors she is dressed for the occasion with fem touch... pink camo cap, nice ear rings...

[Vickie_CDTV]

It is funny, as a male I always found a woman in a skirt suit to be much more imposing than a woman in pants. Maybe it is just me.

Anyway, here is some wisdom from my former girlfriend about why women don't dress up much anymore...
Men are pressured into being masculine and tough, and nowadays that is even true for women albeit a less of an extent than it is for me. Women can be looked down upon by other women for being too "girly girl", or in other cases women can be catty towards a woman better dressed than everyone else and feel the well dressed woman is trying to upstage them (as a male brained person, my thought would be why look down on someone who is doing something well and instead try to improve your own game, but again, I think like a male and some things I don't get...)

In other words, one reason why a women might no dress up more (even if she wants to) is pressure from other women to conform to their way of dressing etc., not unlike how men are pressured to conform. When my former girlfriend was young, all women wore skirts or dresses all day, everyday, to do almost everything, adult women always wore girdles and nylons when leaving the house... it was expected by other women. Nowadays, women are generally expected to wear pants and plain tops, an expectation from other women.

[Miriam-J]

My wife is quite feminine, but definitely no girly girl - never a skirt or dress (except on cruises), and even short heels are rare - as I mentioned in a previous post.

But, perhaps an opportunity for influence ... I joked with her that she needed to wear heels on our visit tonight, 5" minimum. She said she's wear 5" heels around town when I started wearing some when I dress up.

Quick, where do I find some very high heels in a woman's 12 extra wide?! :stirthepot: :devil:

Miriam

[CDPheobe]

My SO is partgirly girl. She is more of a tomboy. But, she does do her nails, wear girl clothes, and all that but at times, she does dress up in my t shirts. When time permits, she does wear makeup. But thats when she is not running late. Lol.