May be putting Louise away for some time, soon.

[Alice Torn]

Well, I just heard this morning, that one of my brothers was aquitted in his trial, but the other one is found guilty. So, the one older brother will be coming home soon, And, he will be depending on me, for a lot, especially companionship, and lots of rides, and help, and no doubt he will be on the internet on my computer, unless, i tell him it is not working right, or hide it. And, if he finds any of my stash, or photos, or videos on You tube, it will be one of my worst nightmares! We may have to both go live with my 91 yr old dad, on his 3 acres. Whatever, i may have to put Louise in the box for some time. It may be a good thing, though, as crossdressing has pretty much taken over my life, and I need to take care of many other areas of my life, too. Having health problems for months, i need to work out more, exercise much more. I hope to do a lot more fishing, bicycle riding, basketball, running, gardening. It would be very bad if my brother or dad, or sister found out.

[busker]

well,taking a breather from anything we do all the time, can actually be rejuvenating at a later point. repetition can dull things and time away can bring new insights and ideas, so it may not be bad at all. There are always means of passwording your PC and storing your clothing but that is money you may not have. anyway, wishing you the best and hopefully the NEW situation will not be too stressful and allow you to get healthier in the process.

[Barbara Ella]

I know you had said this was coming, but it always creeps up and is suddenly here. i know you will do what is best. Just take care of yourself, stay safe, and you will come out better on the other end. Hopefully after a short break things will be better.

Babes

[Alice Torn]

Thanks Busker, and Steps. Good advice. My dad will not be around long, nor my mom. Both 91! I don't want to live that long! I am afraid, that with $5 gallon gas, and higher food, and other prices, we are all going to have to face big changes. And, it is not change we can believe in!

[charlytuna]

I kind of been in that situration when my daughter moved back with two kids, young 3&7, and no job and no money she just split up from a distraster of a marraige. I had but everything in a lock box and did major erasing on the computer. Good thing that only lasted a few months. It was very hard not to get dress after having feedom for few years to do what you want and when you want. But just do the best for the famiily and pray that thing will turn in yiour favor soon. Hopefully very soon



belive in prayers and good things will come your way

[Alice Torn]

Thanks Charly. Maybe it is something i need. I am a quite anti social loner recluse, too often. I know my church condemns Cding, and i must keep it secret.

[Foxglove]

Louise, I wish you the very best. I hope everything works out for you and your family. If you do have to put CDing on hold for a while, remember: CDing is your faithful friend. It will always be waiting for you, waiting to welcome you back whenever you return.

Annabelle

[Shananigans]

This sounds like a very frustrating time for you, Louise. Just remember that though you may not have a physical outlet for things, it doesn't change who you are on the inside. Part of your inner personality is that of enjoying feminine things, and this doesn't change even though you may be unable to dress. Perhaps, you can indulge more in your inner femininity. Check out authors that are really popular with women...enjoy a few "chick flicks"...maybe start a hobby that is "feminine". I'm starting an herb garden soon, so that I can have fresh herbs for cooking. Even though dressing is hard, maybe we can find some girlie outlets for you to still indulge in :)

[Alice Torn]

Thanks Annabelle, and Shanny. I do hope to plow and disc, and plant a bit garden on my dad[s place. However, I was the baby of the family, and never got any respect. At 57, it is the same crap. Both my dad and brothers are manipulators, controllers, guilt trippers, and pull "rank" on me yet. I hate to be in this turmoil again, but for this toxic, sick family, drama never has ever ceased, and has gotten worse every year. I may not survive this emotional torture much more. I may check out.

[sandra-leigh]

Yikes, those certainly do not appear to be the kind of people you can afford to take risks around! My oh my! :sad:

[Amy11]

Hi Louise.

I joined the forum after reading through your thread and thought I might be able to help with keeping your video and photo's hidden from your brother.

I recently downloaded a totally free program called TrueCrypt. Put a search in Google and it will be the first on the list.

Through TruCrypt I can create a virtual hard drive with folders to put all my photo's and video's in and when I have finished looking through I can unmount the virtual hard drive and it makes it all invisible to everyone.

The virtual hard drive is protected in such a way that if anyone new it was there they still could not get access to it without your encrypted password.

I have wanted to keep some of the photo's that my wife takes of me for a long time, rather than just deleting them straight after viewing because every one in my house uses my pc. I just couldn't take the chance that they might be found one day.

Then I found TruCrpt and tried it out fully and it is so good and that safe. I use it all the time now without a worry. Its so heavenly encrypted that if my pc got stolen no one will be able to see the contents of the virtual drive or hack it. It's that safe.

Don't delete all your stuff you will regret it in the long run. Why let your family take that away from you as well.

I was treated in a similar way to you by my family and when I moved house I didn't tell them. I disowned them as much as possible but my cousins still see me out shopping and they wonder why I don't want my family to know what area I live in now. Anything to do with my family is so stressful and hurtful all the time. I just want to be left alone from them all. I am happier with out them.

Just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Please let me know how you get on with the program.

Take care and Good luck.

[JenniferR771]

Plan ahead, Louise. Plan for all contingincies. Especially the worst things that could happen. Protect yourself. Perhaps you can make it so uncomfortable your brother moves elsewhere. Does he hate cats? Can you postpone changing the litter frequently? Can you pretend you have fleas? Roaches? Bedbugs? If he knows about your cding would he move out? if there was no internet--would he move to your father's house? Would he be distressed if you had church friends over frequently? Can you become good friend with the local police guys?
Maybe you need a more liberal church.

[TxKimberly]

It sounds to me like you are a good person making a hard but right choice to take care of family first. Well done Louise and I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!