Inclination to be male

[Allisa]

I'm curious to know;how many members who are married or have SO's that even though their others know about their dressing but do not want to see them totally dressed,do they just try to wear maybe a skirt or some other item or small combo of two or three things around the house or must they go totally femme?I guess I don't understand the need to only express my femme self by being totally dressed,not that I don't enjoy it but I feel the need to express it everyday if only by simply wearing panties.I know I'm not a TS,nor do I want to live my life as a full time female,I guess I fall on the low side of CDing or do I even belong to that category?I've read another thread about acceptance and I have accepted the fact that I do have a strong femme self and enjoy the feeling of female clothing and the state of mind that goes with it,but to what end?I was born male,have a male mind and genetically inclined to be male,even after all these years this one subject tugs at my mind.On another note I'm thankful that I found this site where issues are discussed and support is given to help us grow and understand.It is a very diverse group indeed.It is always good to see thoughts in writing,thank-you all for letting me take up space and vent.

Lisa

[NathalieX66]

Happens every day.
Say, you know any full-timers who are married, or TS?
Try to know some.... their struggle is the real deal. I'm close friends with about a half dozen.

Wearing a skirt or dress is fun, but I am more interested in being just "another girl" amongst the other girls. That's just me.
Yes, I have a sexy side. I'll do sexy cocktail dress and stiletto heels to the max, but I'm also comfortable being a low key girl in any social environment when I do not want attention.

[Michaela51]

Lisa,
My wife accepts and supports me in my bisexuality as well as my dressing. But I don't shave my legs, I maintain facial hair, and don't wear make-up. So there are limits built into my expression. She knows that I feel good and feminine when I wear panties, camisoles, and skirts and helps me buy clothes as well as sharing hers, but she also needs my masculinity, which I readily express as well. If I were to shave my facial hair or start shaving our legs, there would be some level of problem, but I do not feel the need to go there at this point, I don't have that desire. This works for me; she is glad to experience my femme side since it more sensitive and caring and adds to our relationship in a very real way. And I dress in some fashion or another every day.

[whowhatwhen]

I'm not sure as a single I really qualify to answer so I'll just post this:
Personally, I would be up front and let her know that if she's looking for a macho, manliest manly man, type of person she's barking up the wrong tree. :P

If I'm going to wear anything, the whole transformation must be in place and that would include voice if I ever get a chance to develop one.
I do give lots of respect to people already in relationships working this out though, some posts of GGs and their SO getting along makes me all :3

[sissystephanie]

Lisa,

I understand your thinking, maybe better than others because I am much the same as you. I have been a CD for over 60 years, and have never really wanted to be a woman! I love to wear feminine clothes of all kinds, and when my dear wife was still alive she would fix my wig and do my makeup so that I really looked like a female. But I was always her Man, and she knew that. Now that she has passed on, I still dress enfemme and go out in public, but looking like the man that I am!! No wig and no makeup. In the past 7 years I have not heard one negative comment!

[busker]

Allisa, should I assume your wife knows but doesn't support your dressing? If dressing gets your femme side out, you don't have to wear hose, a ball gown, have your hair done to enjoy and do everyday things--especially if you are not "out" yet. I dress every day , mostly low key, and do what I normally do dressed in drab. You can wear women's pants, panties, flats and knee-highs, a cami and tee or some other women's top that isn't screaming female clothing and get on with your day--and maybe your wife won't object. You can look almost drab and be dressed only in women's clothing. What is on the inside doesn't depend on what is on the outside but if it helps a bit, then do a very mild transformation. Don't mistake the cover for the book. Look at pictures of Eintein, or Steve Jobs, or a lot of high-powered guys and they don't always wear power suits--some never do,-- but they manage to be who they are inside so that everybody knows it. Life is a compromise so don't get too upset.

[Kelli Ca]

my wife knows but doesnt want to see me totally dressed yet so i basically wear nightie and such

[noeleena]

Hi,

A point that comes up to me is those of you who are ....male....I spos i still dont quite get why you like dressing in our clothes the way you or many do. the difference for me is you ....ARE.... male, & i dont relate to males & how they are wired & think.

In many ways being on the forums over the last 5 years iv yes learnt a lot, yet dont fully understand i should just dont , so its nice to hear what you's have to say,

Now just so you understand where im comeing from, i do get on.... quite well.... & try to understand just not fully,

Thanks for your imput,

...noeleena...

[Michelle 51]

My wife hates to see me in full femme so I save that for going out but I dress casual around the house everyday.Evenings I'm always in a skirt ,pantyhose, earrings etc.I dress in casual femme more than guy cloths when I'm home

[Beth Mays]

Guy clothes most of the time.. wife does not want see me dressed at all. I do wear nail polish 24/7 on my toes and very often pale colors on my finger nails, she has come to accept that. I wear 2 ear rings (studs) all the time even to work so that is never an issue at home. If I want to dress i just suggest my wife go shopping or to a movie. She will call ot text me in a few hours and ask "how it is going" if I want more time she will easily stay gone and allow that.
If all I want to do is dress "light" after work she will watch TV in the bedroom, I dont get home untill late anyway.

You and your wife will need find what works for the 2 of you. you can learn from others but never expect just because it works for Bill and Jane it will work at your house as well.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Allisa, My wife knows all about Orchid and nothing is hidden
but it's a don't ask don't tell kinda thinggie.

[Allisa]

Thanx everyone who replied to my thread.I must state that I am not married I was just curious as to how couples,mainly the CDer handle this situation.

Thanx again Lisa

[DonnaT]

My wife prefers I not wear makeup or my wig around the house in her presence. I can wear anything else I want any time I want.

[Joanne f]

I quite often wear just a skirt or dress around the house as i do not like wigs so can not really see much point in putting one on in the house but i do like to wear what i call gangling earnings and if i was to miraclessly change my sex over night i think i would be just the same.

[Miriam-J]

My wife and I both appreciate both sides of me, so I try to maintain a balance, but it's also a matter of not always wanting to spend the time fully dressing. Sometimes I'll just wear a nightie. Other times I'll do the makeup and a light dress with breastforms. Perhaps once a week I'll fully dress, makeup, and wear a wig. Each seems to satisfy a need, and my wife accepts any of these levels.

Miriam

[Jeannie]

My wife knows and supports me and we even share some clothes, but I don't totally dress everyday. I do wear try to wear something feminine everyday like just panties and a tee shirt or a bra and panties under PJs or something like that. It helps with the urge and I don't mind it. I have not come out to everyone and that is the main reason I choose my dress times and what I wear. Most of the time I am in male mode and that is the way it has to be.