Girlfriends to hang out with

[candicd]

I was talking to my wife yesterday about wanting a girlfriend to just "hang out" with. He has a good friend to talk to about Candi. Although you girls are great, I would love someone to chat with face to face.

She got "that look" so I changed gears just a little (which I wanted to bring up anyway). I told her I would like to meet another couple. That way she would have someone to talk to who is in the same situation (for lack of a better word) that she is and I would have a girlfriend to chat with. She was really open to that.

We went to a Tri-Ess meeting here in Ft Worth last year. It was much less than what I had hoped. We should probably try that again, but since we have a teenager, it's hard to schedule time for Candi to come out of the closet :battingeyelashes:

Those who are married with accepting spouses, have you found other couples and how did it go (and how did you do it).

Blessings,

Candi

[CDPheobe]

So far my SO and i have not met another couple. But my SO is game to meet even individual CD's with meyou as well.

[AllieSF]

I am not in your situation being single. However, I believe your idea is a great one and should be pursued. It may or may not be easy depending on your ability to network with others. It has taken me 3+ years to get to know enough other girls from CD to TS and even a rare few GG's who I consider friends and compatible enough to go out with on a regular basis. I accomplished this by networking here and through some groups and others to find some going out friends, some of whom I also consider friends. So, even though your last experience with the Tri-ess group was not totally satisfactory, why not give it another chance and maybe pay less attention to the weekly or monthly topics and concentrate on the social side more to be able to meet some people who also may introduce you to other people who may not attend the formal meetings. It works, but just takes time. Good luck.

[Ramie]

I've had the same thought candi. I've wondered how easy or hard it would be to find even one person in the area of the Midwest I live in. Well, the crushing answer to my question (after looking for a year or so) was very difficult! I found tons on dating sites, but I'm not looking to date, just hang out, even watching the game at someone else's house would be more out than I've ever been. So here I am. The Internet is better than not talking to anyone, plus, I get to meet all kind sof nice gals now!

[Mikaela]

My girlfriend and I know a few couples in the community here in LA that want to do 'normal' boy/girl dates with us as well. It's kinda neat, but considering her clients are TG, I suppose we have a community in.
We also have a playdate with my girlfriend & her son, and a fairly well known TS & her son next weekend. I suppose it's just normal for us.

[Debglam]

Candi,

Allie is right. Go back to Tri-Ess or another TG group in your area. It is like anything else: you meet a group of people, hit it off with some more than others, and start doing things with those folks.

[Badtranny]

Almost every T-girl I know, I met from this forum. (and it's quite a few) Some are CD (most actually) and some are TS but they are all exceptionally lovely people and my only complaint is I never have enough time to hang out with any of them. Though I think me and Melissa Rose are gonna grab a drink this Sunday, any Bay Area girls wanna join us?

[rachaelsloane]

Hi Melissa,
I know you have been busy as Allie and I have tried to have you join us a couple of times. I'd love to have joined you Sunday, but I'll be out of town, in fact I even had to miss the Gems "Anniversary" party Saturday night.
Say hi to Melissa Rose for me,
Rachael

[Melissa Rose]

Candi, as already mentioned, keep trying any nearby trans groups. Sometimes it takes a few meetings before you find someone you click with. At most of the River City Gems events, there are usually 3-4 spouses in attendance. While you need to proceed with caution and common sense, setting up a Facebook group page is another approach. There are a few in my area and one that I frequent. I've meet a few great girls through it.

Sunday is Melissa^2 day. I'm looking forward to it.

[Delila]

I got amazingly lucky and made friends with another CDer years ago. I didn't know that he was when we first met we learned it about each other over time. He has a girlfriend/nearly fiance that knows about us both. It is very helpful having another couple that understands what my wife and I are going through. It is well worth having another pair of people that you can be fully open with even when you are talking face to face. If you can find a couple that live near you that are understanding it can make a huge difference in your relationship. My wife was always going on about how she wished she could talk to her friends about everything but of course she knew that was impossible. She has been talking to my friend's GF and it has made a real difference in her comfort levels.

[candicd]

Thanks for the feedback. I think we will try the Tri-Ess group again. I was doing some searching and found a "Meetup" group in N. Texas that might also be an option. I appreciate it.

-Candi

[Marissa333]

I am in your exact same boat. I really want to hang out with either another cd, or another cd with thier SO. You figure it would be relatively easy in the L.A. area, but I havnt been able to meet anyone as of yet. My wife does not want to go anywhere public (she is paranoid we will run into someone who will spot us), so that limits us to private get togethers, but let's face it no one is going to invite a stranger into thier home, nor except an invite to a strangers house. Lets not give up hope, we will figure out eventually I hope

[inori]

I'd love to hang out with another girlfriend :) Although I am single, and I am very shy:P

[noeleena]

Hi,

Being a bit different iv done things out side of the trans community, tho i did try to join in with a few ,distance stoped that,

Most of my friends are woman & yes i have a few men friends through our groups im a member of .

i have joined women only groups ,plus mixed groups & depending on what you like doing will make all the difference, dressing in period clothes or garb ,

Not knowing where you are & i have no idear what groups clubs or socitiys you have . only you will know ,

as to haveing a girl friend then Jos is mine tho we spent so far 37 odd years to gether, tho we are apart at this time, & we do talk about every thing,

Find a group & enter in a interest you have say a sewing or photography as an idear, & go from there,

The groups im a member of has taken 5 years & it has worked very well for myself, Yes there are a few women who really know myself & background & we are able to be frank with each other so give your self time & go out & make friends , tho i suggest joining a group or two.

...noeleena...

[Badtranny]

I'd love to hang out with another girlfriend :) Although I am single, and I am very shy:P

Shy girls don't have ANY fun.

Get over it. Being shy is not cute, it's just lonely.

[JamieG]

My wife and I get together with three other CD+SO couples every few months or so. So far we've only met en drab. Sometimes CDing is only lightly hinted at, other times its a major part of the conversation. The nice thing is we really like everybody, so we would be friends even if none of us was a CD.

How did this happen? Partially by luck. I've been making CD friends for about eight years now. One of them invited my wife and I to a Christmas party. It turns out all of the guys at the party were TG (but in drab at the time). My wife was surprised at how nice and normal the TG folk were (I suppose when I was her only example, that would be a surprise! :devil:) and hit it off really well with some of the SOs. The rest is history.

[Lorileah]

Shy girls don't have ANY fun.

Get over it. Being shy is not cute, it's just lonely.

Coy girls do though :) I am shy and I get lots of attention...what? You don't think I am shy? OK I am good at looking shy :) And Mel, I wish I was in the Bay area I love that place. Maybe someday...sushi?

Anyway, finding a couple who has a TG person is difficult. Finding a single TG who just wants to hang out is hard enough. You have to sift through the wannbe sexual friends. And then add the fact that there are so many planes of Tgism out there. If someone was to be my friend IRL they would have to want to go out and be seen. I am not one for shopping or having tea. So the pool is smaller. I also am not a blender. If I didn't want to noticed I would not dress up. There is where you run into some issues with your SO. They will always assume that first your friendship might be more than just friends. That is one thing that always comes up in couples (sort of like if you asked if it would be ok to see women on the side). The other thing is the conversation always heads to TG issues which leaves most SO's out in the cold.

If Tri-Ess is where you fit ( I don't) then that would be a good place because they have things like dinners and bar-b-ques. Getting into a Drag clique is hard no matter how you present. I have a TS friend who I get along with famously but we have similar views on things. When my wife was alive she had a co-worker who was married to a CD. We tried to get the male partner to open up but that never worked and it ended up "he" was left out (he is still in the closet as afar as I know). But we had a good time the three of us.

Main point is no one is going to knock on your door and ask you to go out, you have to make it happen. So choose a venue, maybe a TRi-Ess meeting, or a Drag show, or something like Gold Rush here, and go out. Then be outgoing as you possibly can. Have fun.

[Badtranny]

Coy girls do though :) I am shy and I get lots of attention...what? You don't think I am shy? OK I am good at looking shy :) And Mel, I wish I was in the Bay area I love that place. Maybe someday...sushi?.

I'll buy the sushi if you buy the saki.

P.S. That's a sucker's bet if you're hanging out with me. ;-)

[JessHaust]

Last Saturday my wife and attended a concert by the local band Chix. The club was full of CD's and TG's, many of who are friends. My wife, and the wives of some of the band members had a great time together, so good that on the way home I was informed that we would be hanging out with them alot more.
Its not the easiest thing to find, but it's out there. Candi is in my area and I have already sent her info on our group, I hope to see her and her wife soon, for the rest of you, please keep looking, it's a wonderful thing when you find it.

[busker]

I am in your exact same boat. I really want to hang out with either another cd, or another cd with thier SO. You figure it would be relatively easy in the L.A. area, but I havnt been able to meet anyone as of yet. My wife does not want to go anywhere public (she is paranoid we will run into someone who will spot us), so that limits us to private get togethers, but let's face it no one is going to invite a stranger into thier home, nor except an invite to a strangers house. Lets not give up hope, we will figure out eventually I hope
let me introduce you to Mikaela:
Mikaela
My girlfriend and I know a few couples in the community here in LA ......

Hollywood and Burbank are not all that far apart ladies. That will be 10$ please for the matchmaking.

[zorianacd]

My wife and I went on a Dignity cruise hoping to find some couples who were our age to hang out with. We're in our mid 30's. We found out that everyone was much older. I've found out that everyone is into crossdressing for different reasons and this makes finding common ground hard. I'm into dressing trendy, cool makeup and high heels. I love being a guy, but creating the gender illusion is what gets me going. I have no interest in the psychology behind crossdressing because it doesn't really matter. You like what you like, end of story. If you know of any couples who are our age and into dressing for the same reasons as I am, PM me.

[Mikaela]

let me introduce you to Mikaela:
Mikaela
My girlfriend and I know a few couples in the community here in LA ......

Hollywood and Burbank are not all that far apart ladies. That will be 10$ please for the matchmaking.

Yes, I've spoken to Marissa in PMs, but there's a different between knowing couples who want to hang with us and have actually done it. Marissa's point about strangers is also very much an issue. Also, most of our relationships started out in clubs, so we don't tend to do 'private' get to-gethers unless it's one of her clients coming over prior or post transformation. (I don't go out to the studio while she's working and only meet the clients that she brings out who wants to meet me).

[KarenCDFL]

A number of years ago my wife and I were friends with a younger couple that were like us.

The four of us used to go out dressed to the local clubs and we had some good times.

Unfortunately the GM in of the other couple had so many anger issues that almost every time there would be some incident at the club that we finally had to stop going out with them.

They have since divorced and we are alone again.

[laura.lapinski]

I'ld like to hang out with some gurlfriends too.

[candicd]

My wife and I went on a Dignity cruise hoping to find some couples who were our age to hang out with. We're in our mid 30's. We found out that everyone was much older. I've found out that everyone is into crossdressing for different reasons and this makes finding common ground hard. I'm into dressing trendy, cool makeup and high heels. I love being a guy, but creating the gender illusion is what gets me going. I have no interest in the psychology behind crossdressing because it doesn't really matter. You like what you like, end of story. If you know of any couples who are our age and into dressing for the same reasons as I am, PM me.

We would love to meet Zoe....but you have to cut those nals :o):brolleyes:

[Delila]

Sometimes meeting another couple is merely luck. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there as tough as it may seem. I have been on the verge of telling my wife that she can out me to one of her friends if she thinks they will be understanding. So far unfortunately her friends have proven themselves as the sort to judge. That doesn't mean that everyone out there is like that. My pair of friends where one is a CDer and his girlfriend is accepting is a good example of what can come from being too open. She says she has lost all trust in him she understands that it is a big secret but his hiding it has harmed the relationship. Some women can handle it and some feel betrayed sadly it's impossible to tell when this will happen.

[zorianacd]

We would love to meet Zoe....but you have to cut those nals :o):brolleyes:

Sorry, Candi. The nails are part of the package. Haha. They're actually the reason I got into crossdressing. I had to figure out how I could justify wearing long fingernails. Crossdressing was the easiest solution. I don't under dress and when I dress, I go all out. This is partly why I don't dress too often. I should practice make up more but I'm a pretty lazy crossdresser. Make up skills aren't bad though. I'm rambling.

[CDPheobe]

Meeting in drab isnt something My SO and I are worried about. Now meeting here at my home with "us girls" dressed up, thats something else. I have a pretty good feel for the CD'ers here and I dont feel a bit scared or paranoid on inviting them over to my home. If this forum is a home for us, then why should I feel weird about meeting others in drab at my place, or for that fact, out in public in drab?

[Badtranny]

Meeting in drab isnt something My SO and I are worried about. Now meeting here at my home with "us girls" dressed up, thats something else. I have a pretty good feel for the CD'ers here and I dont feel a bit scared or paranoid on inviting them over to my home. If this forum is a home for us, then why should I feel weird about meeting others in drab at my place, or for that fact, out in public in drab?

Good question Pheebs,

I've found that most people tend to be scared of their own shadow. I invite people to my house ALL the time. Old friends, new friends, people I'm meeting for the first time, it doesn't matter. I'm not a secret agent and I'm not in witness protection. I have no problem at all with people knowing where I live.

I think the paranoia that a lot of people have about their lives is just silly.

[Genny B]

My problem is that the only groups I can find on line are over an hour away and their web pages are outdated which makes me wonder if the group is even active... But I am looking too...

[Sissy Michelle]

Id love to be able to meet a few TG/TV friends for a "girly night" but unfortunately there are few clubs etc...around where i live from what i am aware of. Besides, Id rather meet at one of the girls homes as i feel it would be more "problem free".

[Jason+]

I am in your exact same boat. I really want to hang out with either another cd, or another cd with thier SO. You figure it would be relatively easy in the L.A. area, but I havnt been able to meet anyone as of yet. My wife does not want to go anywhere public (she is paranoid we will run into someone who will spot us), so that limits us to private get togethers, but let's face it no one is going to invite a stranger into thier home, nor except an invite to a strangers house. Lets not give up hope, we will figure out eventually I hope


So far my SO and i have not met another couple. But my SO is game to meet even individual CD's with meyou as well.


My girlfriend and I know a few couples in the community here in LA that want to do 'normal' boy/girl dates with us as well. It's kinda neat, but considering her clients are TG, I suppose we have a community in.
We also have a playdate with my girlfriend & her son, and a fairly well known TS & her son next weekend. I suppose it's just normal for us.

I would happily have a cup of coffee with any of you local here near L.A. There may be too much boy left in me to join Marissa's band but I'm still pretty new at the bass anyways. :D

[candicd]

My problem is that the only groups I can find on line are over an hour away and their web pages are outdated which makes me wonder if the group is even active... But I am looking too...

Genny...you really hit a nerve with me. I can't stand outdated websites when the last thing posted about the group was from a year ago. Others that have terrible graphics that hurt my eyes are quickly discarded. I've created two business sites in as many years from the templates section on godaddy.com. It doesn't take long and looks/loads great.
End of rant...thanks

-Candi