OMG thats a guy! Your worst experience, please

[MarinaKirax]

Passing is important for many of us, for different reasons. Whats the worst experience you've had being clocked en femme?
For me, It was being dressed in a blonde wig, age 25 or so, ankle length dress and mid-blue pumps (the only ones I could find in the sale bin, size 10). I was walking through the subway platform in Montreal, and a woman asked me in french, what time it was. I replied 'je ne said pas", intending to move on. She then clocked me by my voice, and started shouting (in french and in English) "Hey, Monsieur! why are you wearing a dress?! Monsieur! Mister!... Thats a MAN!!!"

now, on a subway platform, there is no easy way to blend in. Especially if the platform is not crowded. It's a long walk to the stairs, and then up them, under the eyes of everyone. And then the long walk home, shaken, thinking that everyone else on the street has the same derision for you. I remember every adrenaln-soaked, stomach-sinking second of it. You?

[JessHaust]

Wow! I can't imagine that happening here! I've certianly been clocked, but at most I get a double take.
Most of the time I'm out with oher girls and often when clocked we get treated like rock stars. Many many times we get asked to have our picture taken with them, their wives/husbands, friends, we always agree, and it always fun.
The really strange thing is that I live in the Dallas Texas area, a place I would have thought much more unfriendly to CD's than Montreal!

[daviolin]

I never had that happen to me. But if I did, she would of gotten a real,"Yea, and your point". People like that really irratate me. Just hold up your head and be Marina. Daviolin

[sissystephanie]

Daviolin said it very well. Unless there is a specific law against a man wearing a dress, you can wear what you please! It is your decision and nobody else's as to whether you put on a dress or wear something drab! So go for it and be Marina!

[Eryn]

If you keep your wits about you, you look depressed and say, in a very resigned voice, "You're not the first one to make that mistake and you probably won't be the last." Bursting out in tears might be overdoing it, though.

The only time I've felt uncomfortably "made" was when I was out with a group of CDers eating dinner in a restaurant. Since it was a large group and some of the girls were pushing 7 feet in heels we were somewhat obvious. The restaurant and staff were great but getting to the bathroom involved walking through the restaurant's bar area where there were quite a few twentysomethings drinking their dinners. That was a bit of gauntlet with seemingly all eyes on me as I passed through. Nothing happened, but it was a bit tense.

[Leeiah]

Really had no bad experience so far, but the only interesting experience I have had was when I went to a bar called the round up with my friend lynn was telling the bartender to surprise me with something sweet and strong. Anyway I was waiting and waiting and this girl across the counter on the other side she was facing a guy then I was noticing her looking at me, so I sorta just glanced back at her and back to the bartender then that glanced turned into a stare for it seem like forever lol, so I decided to stare back at her with a gentle smile it was sorta arkward felt like atleast 60 seconds had gone by then I got my drink and went on about my business. She eventually made her way to our table while I was out side smoking in the patio section and decided to spark up a conversation turns out she was really friendly her and her male friend. Maybe she was just curious I do not know, but all in all it was a very nice night and a good experience. I am glad I handled that like I did and I am thankful she didn't throw beer at me since my face expression when I am sorta curious about something I sorta squint my eyes some people may take that as the wrong way thankfully none haven't yet ^^

[Stephanie47]

When I was in my thirties I went out en femme in a black dress, black heels and black hosiery, blond wig and full makeup. I went into a Safeway to buy a bottle of Coke. A guy pointed and laughed like crazy. And, damn, it was Halloween.

Another Halloween I wore a jade green and black long sleeve dress with black heels and hosiery and blond wig and full makeup. I went into a Winchell's Doughnut store. The female cashier complimented me on my presentation.

[ReineD]

A few months ago. A car full of teenagers drove by while we were walking on the sidewalk and one of the boys rolled down his window and yelled, "You transsexual freak!" :sad:

My SO thinks they had been sitting on a bench that we had walked by about 30 minutes before and they had clocked us. Of course they wouldn't have said anything at such close range, and one of the boys apparently felt it was OK to yell this from the safety of a moving car.

Other than this, I've caught a few snickers, head nods, pointing fingers, and stares over the years. Still, most people don't bat an eye, and quite a few are very nice to us.

[Vanessa Storrs]

I've been out on a hundred or more seperate occasions and never had a really bad experience. Once a drunk tried to kiss me and a waitress pulled him away from me before I could punch his lights out. On a couple occasions construction workers have laughed after I have gone by. I received a rude comment as I was walking down a street. I have had a multitude of positive experiences and have had a good time every single time I have been out.

[dominique]

A few yrs ago I went shopping dressed. As I got out of my car a group of teenage boys were walking towards the mall, as I got out my car at the same time. They spotted me, started shouting "r u doing that for bet" that really shook me up. But that didn't stop me going out dressed.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Well whats better being a man dressed in womans clothes or being a woman in womens clothes . for myself theres very little difference.

I am a woman with male facial features, so no matter what i do & to make it even better i dress a bit different,
So i am looked at by most people, till they talk with me then they dont have any issues because they find i am a woman.

The young or not quite so boys do call out to me because they know me & tho not many shout out if they dont know me , now & again just not often tho i know one or two have a laugh at my expence & really i dont mind because that means they do know who i am.

I think most people here are so used to me now the seven day wonder is long over,

we.v been here for 16 years now,

...noeleena...

[inori]

Well, I don't have any experience yet. But I am sure I will have lot's of these OMG situation when I go out En femme. Although I'd probably be freaked out if I was found out by someone screaming that I am a guy lol.

[Jonianne]

My worse was when some guy clocked me and started laughing me to scorn in front of his gf as I walked by. What a jerk.

[Diane Lynn]

I get used to it. It bothers my SO more than it bothers me. I walked a group of teenage boys in the mall, and one of them shouted "thats a man" and another time walking into a busy restaurant, a man held the door open for me, then said "is that a girl or a guy as I walked by. " I look better than alot of woman, I dress nice, well groomed hair, but I do wear heavy foundation to cover my facial hair. Another time I was in a store, and I guy asked me "can I ask you a question?" I ignored him trying to decide what to do. He then said "Miss, can I get your opinion?" I helped him with his question, and he went on his way.

[Jeanna]

My worst times are when I have panicked. Example, one time last summer I went out to buy makeup and I was wearing a long pencil skirt with 4 inch heels. When I was backing my truck into my driveway, my neighbour was walking toward my house. I thought Oh No! I threw it into "park" and dashed to the house only to realize that such a constricting skirt and very high heels, suck for those kinds of maneuvers,,,I wiped out, but got up quickly and got into the door of the house. I peaked out of the blinds and saw him in my driveway. I was thinking please don't knock, OMG he saw me. He proceeded to walk away. I quickly got undressed and accessed the damage. A scraped knee and a cut on the palm of my right hand but Thank god I didn't scuff my shoes I love them. My neighbour has since talked to me but I know that he saw me on that day. He is so uncomfortable around me now and hasn't been the same ever since.

[kimdl93]

wow, that was an curious reaction. I doubt that its Montreal related. And probably even less likely today. Maybe its a subway thing - although its been my experience that people crowded in the station or cars generally keep to themselves. I suppose on a crowded station, you're more liable to encounter the one person out of 10,000 who felt compelled to ask that question aloud and loudly.

I haven't had an experience that really left me shaken. I do recall feeling a bit embarrassed by the reaction of a tween when I was checking out my make up at the MAC counter. I wasn't angry or offended....just a bit embarrassed. But I understood that she just didn't know to use her inside voice.

[Melissa Jill]

I think when situations like that occur you gotta be able to play it off as a joke in someway. Maybe say you ran out of clean men clothes, so you borrowed your wifes/girlfriends/etc. Most men are pretty cool and if you can have a joke with them about the whole thing they'll back off. Unless they're really dangerous.

[linda allen]

I haven't been out a lot so my worst experiences have just been a couple hard stares. There's no way for me to know if they clocked me or not.

Looking at the photos I've taken, I've improved a lot since the first time out.

[Daphne Renee]

I have been out very few times. Nothing bad has really every happened. The worst was on halloween a waitress asked if I was a guy. (or something to that effect). I was with my wife and one of her friends. I plan on going out a little more this year hopefully things will be ok.

[Stephenie S]

I know it's hard to keep your wits about you in this sort of situation, but here is where your smile can help. When someone shouts from their car, a big grin and a wave can catch them off guard. When that woman "clocks" you in a subway station, give her a big smile and engage her in small talk. After all, SHE approached you, right? Often (well all the time) a smile is your best defense. SMILE for goodness sake. A smile signals to the world that you are relaxed and happy and enjoying who and what you are. I cannot stress this enough.

Listen, I know you all look at those fashion models in the magazines who snarl at the camera, and you think that's attractive. But that's NOT real life. And remember, those girls are all about seventeen years old and they are starving. Were you happy at seventeen? Especially when you were hungry? Of course not.

Real life is interacting with the world. If you grew up as a guy you learned that guys are not expected to smile. WOMEN SMILE!!! It's a wonderful defense and you HAVE to learn it. I hear crossdressers complain about being "clocked" by children all the time. It's the smile, darling. It's the smile. Women smile at children. Guys do not. Children learn quickly that guys are these slightly scary big people who never smile at them. THAT'S how they clock you. You don't smile at them. Women do the same, but most of them know enough about being polite to know to keep their mouths shut.

SMILE.

Auntie Stephenie

[ReineD]

When someone shouts from their car, a big grin and a wave can catch them off guard.

If that teenager had been in front of me, I would have put on my mom voice and scolded him. :blah:

[Victoria Vermilliana]

It's happened to me a few times in school, unfortunately. The worst was the first day of a new semester, someone in the front of the class decided that he needed to stand up before the lecture began, and announce to everyone that I was a man wearing a dress (although in a not so nice way). A few people laughed and snickered, but most everyone else kinda went..."Yeah, and? Who cares?"

I was able to make it look like it didn't affect me, but it did. It's extremely humiliating, actually. It did help to know that most of the people around me just don't care though!

[inori]

It's happened to me a few times in school, unfortunately. The worst was the first day of a new semester, someone in the front of the class decided that he needed to stand up before the lecture began, and announce to everyone that I was a man wearing a dress (although in a not so nice way). A few people laughed and snickered, but most everyone else kinda went..."Yeah, and? Who cares?"

I was able to make it look like it didn't affect me, but it did. It's extremely humiliating, actually. It did help to know that most of the people around me just don't care though!

I am curious though how did you manage to summon up the courage to go en femme at your school...I'd never do it.

[Jilmac]

I've been read several times but never to that extreme. Mostly double takes or stares, and more from teens or twenty somethings than older adults. Once while sitting in Denny's having breakfast, Four guys came in and sat in a booth one seat away from me. They were all intent on staring me down so I flashed then a big smile and waved. I guess that embarrassed them enough to mind their own business because they stopped staring. Another time while shopping at a thrift store I heard one woman tell another that "there's a guy in a skirt trying on women's clothes". I walked up to her and said "thanks for noticing me and have a nice day". She was too embarassed to respond. So you see Marina, all it takes it a quick comeback to put most naysyers in their place.

[Amanda22]

Fortunately, I've had nothing worse than extended stares, and I don't pass all that well. I'd like to think I'd stand my ground and confront the rude person, but I don't know if I'm that strong.

I hear closet doors slamming shut in response to this thread!

[Michelle James]

The worst I can remember is getting the stink eye repeatedly from some dolt. What gets to me the most are those days where everywhere you go it feels like people are looking at you like you have two heads. I'm not sure why these things come in clusters like that.

[Amanda22]

What gets to me the most are those days where everywhere you go it feels like people are looking at you like you have two heads. I'm not sure why these things come in clusters like that.

Whenever this happens to me, it is because I somehow attracted inspection by skulking around or feeling self-conscious. I'm not saying that's true for you or anyone else, but I think I can literally send signals of "hey everybody, crossdresser here!"

[Lorileah]

a woman asked me in french, what time it was.

That same thing happened to ME! 40 years ago in Paris on a subway platform. Only I was dressed like a teenaged guy. And I don't speak French. The man next to me translated after I said I did not understand and then he explained she was a hooker. She was asking what time it was. Maybe that is a secret code? Guess saying "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?" was not yet invented :) The first time in my life I regretted not knowing the language

In your case I would have looked at her and said "And you ma'am are NO lady".


I have not had too many bad things happen to me en femme. I have been hit on by arrogant and rude men (there is a post here somewhere explaining that). I have had drag queens disrespect me and my group in bars. My MIL called me the ugliest woman in the world once. Since I am over 6 feet tall in heels I don't really try and pretend to be a woman any more than I try and pretend to be a man daily. Blending is over rated

[whowhatwhen]

I hear closet doors slamming shut in response to this thread!

O_O
I already know the world is filled with hateful a**holes, it won't keep me locked in forever but in the meantime I can wish for their untimely demise can't I?

[Victoria Vermilliana]

I am curious though how did you manage to summon up the courage to go en femme at your school...I'd never do it.

I dunno. It helps me relax and concentrate more, honestly, so I just...did it. Most people don't seem to mind, or pay attention at all, which is fine too! :P I should say I was quite nervous at first! I think anyone would be though. After a few days of going relatively unnoticed (Everyone's busy in school, don't exactly have time to stand around and gawk at a man dressed to look like a woman), I eased up and settled in that way.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

My two worst experiences happened once while in girl mode and once while in guy in a skirt mode.

My third time going out en femme, back in the summer of 2008, my friend Lauren and I were walking from one lesbian bar to another in an area of Columbus that is pretty artsy and has a large gay population, but there's also a lot of hip bars so there's a mixed crowd and it's near the Ohio State campus. Anyway as we were walking, I certainly didn't pass, I was heavier then than I am now, and probably wasn't all that graceful in my heels, but was having fun and people had been nice so far. Well, a car load of young guys who had probably already had a few clocked me, and started yelling at me from the car. First I heard "That's a guy!" and then they started actually saying "Sir? Sir?!" as if they had a question for me. What really made it tip the scales to uncomfortable town though was they actually started circling the block and coming back around to do it again. It was only my third time out like I said and I was so nervous that I didn't know what to do. I just pretended to not notice it, never turned my head, never looked at them, just gave them no reaction. In fact one of the girls I was with didn't even put two and two together that they were talking about me. We finally made it to the bar and they went off to do something else, probably burn ants with a magnifying glass or cow tipping or something.

The second was a time I was in line at target dressed as a guy but wearing a black kilt, tights, and a men't t-shirt. Obviously the issue wasn't being "clocked" as I was the clock, but the customer's in line behind me were a large black lady and her daughter, who was around 7 or 8 maybe. The little girl just started giggling and saying "Skirt!" and pointing at me. The thing is, I understand kids have no filter and unusual things cause them to react. So her behavior didn't bother me, what bothered me was her mother did absolutely nothing to stop it. If I'd done something like that as a kid my mom would've told me I was being rude, and disciplined me. Her mom instead glared at me as if I was actually doing something wrong, with a look on her fact like "Go ahead and say something!" So her daughter just kept running her mouth "Skirts aren't for boys. They're for ladies." stuff like that. What sort of made it better for me was then the girl said "Ladies!" and spelled it out "L-A-D-Y-S." So she's got some other issues.

[JohnH]

Passing is im I was walking through the subway platform in Montreal, and a woman asked me in french, what time it was. I replied 'je ne said pas", intending to move on. She then clocked me by my voice, and started shouting (in french and in English) "Hey, Monsieur! why are you wearing a dress?! Monsieur! Mister!... Thats a MAN!!!"



I think I would have been tempted to yell out in the loudest male drill sergeant voice - "Shut the f**k up and mind your damned business!".

I would be more able to accept those remarks from a man, but a woman - come on - women have overwhelmingly adopted pants over skirts and dresses. So that woman was really out of line


So her daughter just kept running her mouth "Skirts aren't for boys. They're for ladies." stuff like that.

You could have said something to that brat like, "Pants are for boys and men".

Worst thing that happened while dressed en femme: I got picked up by cops for public intoxication and taken to the county jail until someone could bail me out. And then, when I was sober, having to put my street clothes back on - a maxi-dress and other items and walk past visitors and across the street to the bail bondsman office. And then my wife said she would pick me up when she put her pants on. The strange thing is no one taunted me about my unusual choice of clothes.

So I have a tough hide that refuses to be shamed by insecure jerks.

Johanna

[ashleymasters]

I was in seattle for business. I took the time alone to dress and go out. I wound up at a bar called the cuff complex. Nothing really happened there was just a very rude gg. I left about 5 mins after arriving because it was a really dingy bear type bar which isn't my scene but the drunk woman teller after me in the parking lot that I shouldn't come to places like that until I learn how to put make up on right and I looked like trash not a big deal just rude.

[Jennifer in CO]

OK...worst experence.... I was feeling foolish I guess is how it started. I had a client who handled a lot of bank owned properties up in the mountains. I had to go do an inspection on one and decided I was going to dress "comfy"...kinda. At this time I still had a girly figure (so that puts it 20 years ago!) but just barely so. It was a warm summer day, wife was away for the week so I left the house wearing a white denim mini skirt, while/yellow striped low-cut crop top, white 4" wedged open-toe sandals, and my little white shoulder purse. If I were a blond it might have been ok...but I'm brunette so white is a tough color for us brunette girls. Oh...did I mention I have a mustache at this time?...so with that in mind, there is no way I'm passing. BUT..I'm not expecting to meet anyone so I'm not really worried about it. On my way to the property I did a drive through for a sandwich and drink to eat when I was done but thats as close as I anticipated "seeing" someone. Got to the property, did the walk through, wrote my notes and then headed for an isolated park up in the hills. I have been to this park several times before and while a large park it is remote enough that I had never seen anyone there during the week so I felt really safe in stopping there to eat my lunch and read my book for a while. I walked about 50 yards to a quiet table next to a clearing in the sun at the back of the park and sat and had my lunch and read my book. About half way through lunch, a car pulls up and parks then an older couple get out and walk down the path to my left and take a table...no big deal. Well, within 5 minutes there were 4 other cars show up including a small family that naturally walked down the same path I was on to a table about 30ft away...thankfully my back was to them. I keep reading anticipating waiting them out so I can leave the easy way. But...along with lunch I got a very large drink...and I'm reaching the point I gotta pee and getting to the car and home are no longer an option. I will have to stop somewhere if I don't go use the potties in the park...which are located in the middle of the park. I start formulating a plan to take a short walk through the woods...yeah right...not in these shoes not to mention snag my hose in a split second. Their leaving...so I make my way towards the middle of the park only to see another family sitting right next to the potties. I manage to approach from the off side, do my business and step out only to see the woman about 10 feet from the front thankfully looking down at her small child. I hold my book up to just under my eyes, purse over the shoulder (slipping down) and drink in the other hand I step quickly around the corner and head for the car. Can you believe it...another couple is sitting at the table RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY CAR! I thought about a short walk down the path in front of me but just then the older couple that came in first stand up and head towards the center area. So...I head for the parking lot at an angle to go out and then circle around to my car. Now a gravel parking lot and 4" wedge heels are not a good mix so I was carefully (slowly) walking to the car. The couple sitting in front of me are paying me no mind but in my approach I forgot to get my keys out of my purse. So I set my purse and drink down on the hood and zip it open to get the keys...just as another car is trying to pull into the parking spot next to me. I drop the keys...then my purse falls over and spills...I go to grab the purse and the strap catches the drink flipping it over...on me. At this point there is no hiding my face (mustache remember?) so now the couple in the car is starring at me, the couple at the table in front of me have turned around and all are looking at the guy with boobs in the mini skirt (thats what my mind is screaming at me) trying to pick up his stuff off the ground. Just as I grab the keys and the last few things I feel "that" feeling...an adrenalin rush right to your bladder...and I loose it. So now I'm wet from the drink, getting wet from "me" (thankfully I had just been 10 minutes earlier or I'd of really been in trouble) hands full of purse, books and cup and trying to unlock the car door and get in. Now admittedly all this happens in about 15-20 seconds but it was long enough. I quick as I could drove out of the park and down the road to a dead end street and parked and had my first good cry since going off hormones. I composed myself and looked in the mirror figuring my mascara was going to be a mess...and it was. I then began to laugh at myself and started crying again from laughter...much better cry this time. Settled, I remembered cleaning in the trunk I needed to drop off the day before and didn't so I got out and found my pretty little apricot floral sun-dress and changed into that tight there on the side of the road. Since my panties were damp as well I stripped them off and tossed it all into the trunk and drove home.

THATS my worst ever....

Jenn

[Cheryl T]

I haven't experienced anything close to that so I have no idea how I would react.
The worst I've had is stares and snickers and a few finger pointings. At this stage I don't watch what others are doing so unless they came right up to me and said something I wouldn't notice.

[inori]

OK...worst experence.... I was feeling foolish I guess is how it started. I had a client who handled a lot of bank owned properties up in the mountains. I had to go do an inspection on one and decided I was going to dress "comfy"...kinda. At this time I still had a girly figure (so that puts it 20 years ago!) but just barely so. It was a warm summer day, wife was away for the week so I left the house wearing a white denim mini skirt, while/yellow striped low-cut crop top, white 4" wedged open-toe sandals, and my little white shoulder purse. If I were a blond it might have been ok...but I'm brunette so white is a tough color for us brunette girls. Oh...did I mention I have a mustache at this time?...so with that in mind, there is no way I'm passing. BUT..I'm not expecting to meet anyone so I'm not really worried about it. On my way to the property I did a drive through for a sandwich and drink to eat when I was done but thats as close as I anticipated "seeing" someone. Got to the property, did the walk through, wrote my notes and then headed for an isolated park up in the hills. I have been to this park several times before and while a large park it is remote enough that I had never seen anyone there during the week so I felt really safe in stopping there to eat my lunch and read my book for a while. I walked about 50 yards to a quiet table next to a clearing in the sun at the back of the park and sat and had my lunch and read my book. About half way through lunch, a car pulls up and parks then an older couple get out and walk down the path to my left and take a table...no big deal. Well, within 5 minutes there were 4 other cars show up including a small family that naturally walked down the same path I was on to a table about 30ft away...thankfully my back was to them. I keep reading anticipating waiting them out so I can leave the easy way. But...along with lunch I got a very large drink...and I'm reaching the point I gotta pee and getting to the car and home are no longer an option. I will have to stop somewhere if I don't go use the potties in the park...which are located in the middle of the park. I start formulating a plan to take a short walk through the woods...yeah right...not in these shoes not to mention snag my hose in a split second. Their leaving...so I make my way towards the middle of the park only to see another family sitting right next to the potties. I manage to approach from the off side, do my business and step out only to see the woman about 10 feet from the front thankfully looking down at her small child. I hold my book up to just under my eyes, purse over the shoulder (slipping down) and drink in the other hand I step quickly around the corner and head for the car. Can you believe it...another couple is sitting at the table RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY CAR! I thought about a short walk down the path in front of me but just then the older couple that came in first stand up and head towards the center area. So...I head for the parking lot at an angle to go out and then circle around to my car. Now a gravel parking lot and 4" wedge heels are not a good mix so I was carefully (slowly) walking to the car. The couple sitting in front of me are paying me no mind but in my approach I forgot to get my keys out of my purse. So I set my purse and drink down on the hood and zip it open to get the keys...just as another car is trying to pull into the parking spot next to me. I drop the keys...then my purse falls over and spills...I go to grab the purse and the strap catches the drink flipping it over...on me. At this point there is no hiding my face (mustache remember?) so now the couple in the car is starring at me, the couple at the table in front of me have turned around and all are looking at the guy with boobs in the mini skirt (thats what my mind is screaming at me) trying to pick up his stuff off the ground. Just as I grab the keys and the last few things I feel "that" feeling...an adrenalin rush right to your bladder...and I loose it. So now I'm wet from the drink, getting wet from "me" (thankfully I had just been 10 minutes earlier or I'd of really been in trouble) hands full of purse, books and cup and trying to unlock the car door and get in. Now admittedly all this happens in about 15-20 seconds but it was long enough. I quick as I could drove out of the park and down the road to a dead end street and parked and had my first good cry since going off hormones. I composed myself and looked in the mirror figuring my mascara was going to be a mess...and it was. I then began to laugh at myself and started crying again from laughter...much better cry this time. Settled, I remembered cleaning in the trunk I needed to drop off the day before and didn't so I got out and found my pretty little apricot floral sun-dress and changed into that tight there on the side of the road. Since my panties were damp as well I stripped them off and tossed it all into the trunk and drove home.

THATS my worst ever....

Jenn

Wow ~ I am speechless ~ I hope that doesn't happen to me 0.o

[Chickhe]

Even bad experiences arn't so bad. But, there are some situations that hit a chord. Once at a party, this girl sees me in costume and yells out 'what the f is taht?!'...very immature, very hurtful even though I was not expecting to pass, the brashness of this girl was just cruel. In the same evening another girl, said to me, "I know you are a guy, but you look great...love this and that"...and she stayed to talk for a while and was very friendly...that made up for the other and she was so nice, I didn't care that she figured it out... its all in how they do it. I once heard someone say, it doesn't matter if you win or loose, its how you make the other person feel that they will remember you for. Too true. I try not to let stuff liek that bother me though because I do what I do for me, not for them.

[GingerLeigh]

Not really "clocked", but being cat called chased down the street while dressed for Halloween by 3 or 4 twenty somethings (I was alone and 10). At least they didn't get my candy!

[JohnH]

The worst/best time when I was dressed was outside a bar, I was half-floozed, feeling good, a few pints in me. I was minding my own business, on my way to my car and some big lunk grabbed my boobs from behind me in a bear-type clasp, and without a second thought my training kicked in and I swung around and broke his nose with a short right chop. Accidental; subconcious; whatever...Well. The other two fools with him just stared, looked at their bleeding buddy on the ground and high tailed it. Hey! He grabbed me! NOT acceptable. If my car keys would have been in my hand the idiot might have lost an eye instead, so I felt good that that didn't happen, A**H**** or no.


I now make it a practice to never go out being intoxicated, especially when I am en femme.

I guess my jailhouse experience cured me of going out publicly while being intoxicated. Thank goodness I was not busted for DUI!

Johanna

[Paula_56]

Well I this is actually kind of funny I wasn't enfemme, but at my therapists office they share an office with general practice
There was this older couple I'd say well into their 80's They were chatting away about the driving in from the Cape, the traffic, Dr's offices, billing, their aches and pains. The man told me ALL about his medical history, then he keeps asking me about me and why I'm there. I tried to be vague, avoid the questions, but this guy was persistent, so finally the conversation went something like this::


(Older Gentlemen) So How's your Doctor? He take good care of you?

(Me) Oh Yes, Looks like he is referring me to a an endocrinologist.

(Older Gentlemen) Oh problems with your prostrate?

(Me) No, I'm starting an estrogen regimen.

(Older Gentlemen) <frowning> I never heard of that before?

(Me) Well I need to be on that regimen for at least one year before my surgery.

(Older Gentlemen) Surgery? Is it some kind on cancer?

(Me) Oh no, I am a transsexual and I'm thinking about becoming a woman

<silence> I think I hear a pin drop........

(Older Gentlemen) How bout them Red Sox?

[Terri Andrews]

I have only had one really bad experence it was when I had entered a ladies room ,the sales lady opened the door and said" Sir you are not allowed in here" . I left right away and have not been back to the store since .
I am out a lot and usually get by ok ,not sure what triggered her comments . It shook me up so bad that I did`nt go out for months ,stupid on my part .
,

[RenneB]

As they say S**T happens. The latest one was getting clocked by two 20-somethin GGs in the department store. Ya know when that sixth scence starts acting up and you think you overhear someone saying somethin...... then I turned and saw one of the two GGs practically bending over in laughter with her hand up to her mouth saying "OMG you're right....it's one of them". I mustered all of my courage and headed on out that second. Went back the next day and have never had another issue....... until the next time....

Renne.....

[Eryn]

Reading this thread and I find a number of "worst experience" stories that involve either (1) inappropriate-for-the-situation clothing or (2) alcohol.

The first is pretty much avoidable. As much as we might like wearing them, a vinyl skirt and 6" spikes are really asking for trouble if you wear them to the grocery store. Even a GG would draw derision in that situation.

The second is partially avoidable. Drinking to excess and dressing don't go together well. Unfortunately, we can't do much about the drinking of others (the source of my "most uncomfortable" experience) except to avoid places where other people get sloshed.

[Brittany CD]

Nothing bad yet. I don't go out in broad daylight. I would only go out dressed around the neighbourhood after dark

[Nikki A.]

I guess the worst was at a wedding I went to dressed. One of the two brides brother kept giving me the ole stink eye and I expected a comment from him until one of his other sisters (my friend) borrowed my lipstick. That really ticked him off since I had more friends than him there. Other than him, everyone else, gay, straight and or in between were very accepting and great.
They even decided I could go for the bouquet and the garter belt. Got neither lol.

[Imeni]

I don't really have any horror stories, I'm not ever going to be comfortable enough in my own skin to want to venture out in the world. I don't like going out there dressed as a man, and I just look silly when I dress. But I like the way I feel when I do it, so I continue to do so.

But I would imagine that, if anyone had decided that, "Oh my god, That's a man! What a fag." sort of situation occured, my inner man wrath would simply poke out. "Oi. I might be wearing a dress, but do you think that means im going to start pulling my punches? Look at my fist, now look at your face. Now back to my fist. I'm going to break your nose, knock out a few teeth and yes, split a lip. You get blood on my dress, I will black out and you will not leave standing up. Now get outta here!" D: Fear the wrath. ;)

At the end of the day, even if I were to go out with a group of you ladies, I'd still only ever be Imeni the Man. Which isn't so bad. Who doesn't want a big, strapping man along for safety? Despite being a group of genetic males who could hold their own in a scrap anyways? :D

[AmberDay]

I never post on here anymore, but my absolute worst experience was when I was 20 years old. I was walking into the mall when the air pressure from the door blew my wig off right out the door. (didn't have my wig snug) I ran out to grab it but the wind tossed it into the gutter filled with water and oil, ruining my wig. I left it there and looked as several people just stared at me. Nobody laughed, but it was still uncomfortable. I walked back to my car and drove home. What was even worse is that I didn't have the money to buy another one. I was working part time at Wendy's and having to pay for college as well. It took three years before I graduated to buy another wig.

[BillieJoEllen]

One thing that still gives me the creeps when I think about it is the time I was out driving around en femme. Men from my work place saw my car and started following me. I quickly sped home and parked in my driveway. They pulled up to the drive and parked on the other side of the street. OH NO! What to do? I wound up waiting them out until they got tired of waiting for me to get out of the car. I had a long driveway. Don't know if they would have known it was me if I would've gotten out of my car but I couldn't take that chance. If they would've approaqched my car I probably would've panicked and run into my house. A few days laterone of the men mentioned seeing me a couple of nights ago but that was all he said. Whew!!!

[GinaD]

I was stopped by two policemen at about 2:30 a.m. The younger one contacted me and became very flirtatious, alternately staring at my fake boobs and my legs that were barely covered by my mini skirt. Everything changed when I handed him my ID. He first accused me of being a prosititute, then a child molester, then a basic freak of nature. He had me exit my car and sit on the curb (hard to do and be classy in a mini skirt) as he continued to make me feel like a piece of dirt. The other officer was way more professional, actually asking questions about why I cross dress. But he didn't do anything about his partner. After about 30 minutes of this nonsence, they let me go. I couldn't even file a complaint, because I knew people who worked for the department.

[Dena]

I've only had discreet laughter, so not so bad.

Once I got my look together, most people seemed willing to play along!

[Stephenie S]

So I read the comment about NOT smiling. Sure, keep those teeth clenched and your mouth closed. BUT, one of the reasons you are getting "clocked" is because you are acting like a "guy in a dress". Oh, that and the fact you are out at night by yourself! ANY woman out at night alone is gonna attract attention and almost always that attention is not going to be positive. There is a REASON woman don't go out alone at night.

That reason has nothing to do with "passing" or not. It's because alcohol and testosterone are a dangerous combination. Add immature social development to the mix and you've got trouble brewing, whether or not you CD.

I'll say it again, SMILE. If you want to act like a woman you are going to have to learn how to smile in social interactions. Guys turn around and break someone's nose (you could have killed him by doing that, right?). Women smile. And ALWAYS go out at night with a friend.

Auntie Stephenie

[ArleneRaquel]

My worst, recent, experience was when my next door neighbor called me a " spiritual f*g. It was said with such hatred I think I will never forget it. I happen about a year ago, a little longer than that actually. :sad::thumbsdn::2c: This happened as I returned from grocery shopping, the neighbor was talking to my male neighbor to the south, I heard the neighbor to the north make the comment as I was putting away groceries and I had my front window open. Neighter neighbor, as far as I know, had ever seen me enfemme previously.

[Eryn]

I was stopped by two policemen...The other officer was way more professional, actually asking questions about why I cross dress.

Asking you questions about why you crossdress is *far* from professional. Crossdressing isn't illegal and why you do so is none of the cop's business. Being held against your will under a policeman's orders does not give the policeman any right to amuse himself by asking you random questions.

[STACY B]

MOMMMMMMMM That FAT LADY FARTED !!!! Na ahhh ,,,,

[Marleena]

I was stopped by two policemen at about 2:30 a.m. The younger one contacted me and became very flirtatious, alternately staring at my fake boobs and my legs that were barely covered by my mini skirt. Everything changed when I handed him my ID. He first accused me of being a prosititute, then a child molester, then a basic freak of nature. He had me exit my car and sit on the curb (hard to do and be classy in a mini skirt) as he continued to make me feel like a piece of dirt. The other officer was way more professional, actually asking questions about why I cross dress. But he didn't do anything about his partner. After about 30 minutes of this nonsence, they let me go. I couldn't even file a complaint, because I knew people who worked for the department.

I have a feeling you turned him on until he realized you were a guy. Or.. you turned him on and he didn't like that he got those feelings from a guy.lol.:)

[scarlett]

MOMMMMMMMM That FAT LADY FARTED !!!! Na ahhh ,,,,
Stacey, you are such a trip, girl!!! i love it!!!:D

ROLL TIDE!!

[Joanne108]

My worst experience
The first time my wife saw me in full dress. I had the day off so I did my errands and decided to treat myself to some dress up time. I had put on a knee length dark skirt,padded panties, pantyhose, my bra with DD forms (on me they don't look so big) a silver blouse. I then moved to my make up and wig. I was admiring my handiwork when my wife walked in. Our powder room is next to the door from the garage. There was no hiding it. I though oh now I'm done. My wife, she was speechless. I was literally shaking in my heals. Then she spoke put on some earrings and get your purse we going for lunch. She wanted me to get the full "woman" experience. I think she thought it would stop me. We went out and had a nice lunch and discussed boundaries in the car. She saw that I really enjoyed it. We had a heart to heart in the car and she said if I want to go out dressed I would have to do it with her. I said OK. That was several years ago we are still married.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

After last night I have to amend my previous "worst" encounter.

I was doing an open mic comedy show last night in Sherman Oaks at a bit of a dive bar, and while I'd been a little apprehensive about going to it dressed the way I do, I also was already dressed for another show and decided that if I wasn't going to go in girl clothes then I wasn't going to go at all. I force myself to confront my fears sometimes. Plus I figured there would be other comics I know there and I would have them as a safety net.

Turns out the one very hostile response I got was from another comic. He went onstage a few comics after me, and I'd actually had a pretty good set and the audience had been cool about my clothes. He wasn't having as good a set, and decided to try to win the crowd back by mocking me. He started off innocently enough by asking me where I kept my cash, to which I responded "in my wallet." He kept asking me questions that got more and more derogatory, including asking me if I shoved my wallet up into an orifice that being genetically male, I do not have.

The positive side of the story though is that one of my comic friends immediately jumped to my defense, and then when the comic onstage took it even a step further and started threatening to fight both of us, the rest of the bar leaped to our defense and collectively ejected the meathead from the place. It was fairly impressive and sort of awesome to have everyone not only be cool about it but actively defend me against someone who not only was drunk and violent, but also a REGULAR at the place that they all knew as opposed to me someone they mostly hadn't met till last night.

I have a much longer, and using some more colorful language version of the story posted on my "chick like me" blog that I have linked in my signature.

[KimberlyJean]

The first time I went out I felt good but I don't think my presentation was very good. I went to a shoe store and tried on a couple of pairs of shoes then left. Going in was Ok but I wore a short sleeve shirt and I think my arms and walk gave me away. When I left, the girls who worked in the store were staring at me and then ran to the window and were staring out and laughing while they watched me leave. I was so embarassed that I went straight home and took everything off and almost purged everything. I didn't and decided to work on a few things, I went shopping a couple of weeks ago and got positve comments so I feel better about myself now.

[Eryn]

...When I left, the girls who worked in the store were staring at me and then ran to the window and were staring out and laughing while they watched me leave.

After you get a bit more experience you'll realize that the best response is to turn toward them, give them your best smile and a nice girly wave, just as if you were a good friend of theirs saying bye-bye! They're having fun, why shouldn't you share a bit of it? :)

[PretzelGirl]

If you are brave/confident enough, I would go right back in the store and talk with them when something like that happens. Not confrontationally, but jokingly. I bet the minute they realize you are coming back in there would be a significant vacuum effect in the store. Then, if you handle it in a nice and joking manner, you may make two friends and have a nice talk.

[Nicole Erin]

worry not about what idiots say, for they are BIGOTS.
It is true though that the more confident you become in your presentation, the less people razz you.
I don't know what it is, but like anymore, I just do not get comments. Maybe part of it is my ability to dodge bigots but like when I go about my daily business, people just do not notice me. Let me assure you this - it is NOT because i am so passable or anything like that. anything but.

[wolf88]

I thought I would jump in here with my worst experience...

So I was in the military (yes I know, shhh...) anyway I was still in hiding, but was feeling confident one day and was thinking about going to work out (military guys, right?) and I have always found feminine workout clothes much more comfortable and I feel like I could run another 10 miles in them. Well thinking I was being smart I was at a gym about 30 miles from where I was stationed, because I figured I didn't know anyone in that state, and anyone I did know from base wouldn't possibly be that far from base, right? wrong... I went to the gym (Fully dressed already, not trying to change where i shouldn't or cause un-needed attention I was just planning to use the bikes or a treadmill for my run.), and the second I walked in the gentlemen at the front desk was a soldier from my base that I had seen, and talked with on numerous occassions due to my job assignment, I was shocked, and afraid, I thought if I just walked by and didn't make a noise and went right to my machine and started to run he might not notice me, well... it didn't work, he called his boss over and the boss asked me to leave the facility, I did not wear again for almost 4 years... this was a time back, but it still haunts me to this day, for the rest of my time in the military I avoided that other soldier like the plague, but nobody ever said anything to me, luckily he was not in my unit, so he did not know anyone I knew, I think... I don't know... but still... a fear that still shakes the ground under my feet...

[Inna]

By far the most wonderful dreadful experience I have lived through regarding passability happened about 2&1/2 years ago when I decided with help of great gal and her friends to venture into the world for my first ever in fem experience. Both mesmerizing and terrifying, it seemed unreal that I, finally had taken the plunge into inevitable. Arriving at LGBT friendly club was one thing, getting out of the car for valet parking was another. But I stumbled out and was given the ticket while the other guy giggled really quietly, well I moved away as quickly as I could and met the rest of the gang just outside of the entrance. Within the group I felt protected and slowly, with the help of good ol Vodka, I started to relax and actually started to absorb this newly found freedom. Hours passed by and I had a tremendous time until I walked over to the bar and asked for change. 4 girls were standing to my right and suddenly one of them shouted "OMG Its a guy!". They all started to giggle and lough out loud, when in a pack I suppose laughter seems to be magnified for some reason. I didn't even look in their direction, and just gathered all the strength and collected my self. I walked away from there quickly said goodbyes to a great friend and all the gals who were there with me and left.
On the way home feeling of dread, wrongness, impossibility, and yet wonder, happiness and knowledge that I finally did my first step, overwhelmed my psyche. I no longer was hiding, well, not entirely at least.

[Chickhe]

I was thinking of something funny... every CDer needs lessons on how to scream out OMG OMG, where?! in the most feminine way in front of a crowd....for when someone makes a scene you can make an even bigger dramatic response!

[darci.c]

if she was wearing pants, you say "Why are you wearing pants?!!"
if she was wearing a dress, you say, "Why are YOU wearing a dress?" (as if to say she can't pull it off as well as you do)

I've always found that people seem to throw things at you only if you're afraid of them. If you just don't give a damn... they don't either.

[KARI AN]

In a Sears store all dressed looking at dresses when young male clerk shouted to his friend and they went looking for me. I managed to duck and out side they even came out to see where I went. I didnt feel good after that event

[Amanda22]

I wish I hadn't read this thread because I seem to have taken a step or two back to the closet. These stories have shaken my confidence a bit.

[Loretta]

In a haiku-

High school Crossdress day
My buddy punched my privates.
Many laughs were had.

[MarciManseau]

I've posted this before:

This reminds me of a time years ago when in drab I was buying a pair of adorable pink panties, and while standing in the checkout line, a fat woman and her fat daughter were standing behind me. I heard the mom say to her daughter in a very loud voice, with a disguted look on her face, "I bet he's buying those panties for himself."

I turned to them, very angry, and said, "You're effing right I am, and I'll look better than either of you cows would in them!"

That totally shut her up, and I saw one woman in front of me smile.

Revenge is sooooo sweet!

[Piora]

I've posted this before:

This reminds me of a time years ago when in drab I was buying a pair of adorable pink panties, and while standing in the checkout line, a fat woman and her fat daughter were standing behind me. I heard the mom say to her daughter in a very loud voice, with a disguted look on her face, "I bet he's buying those panties for himself."

I turned to them, very angry, and said, "You're effing right I am, and I'll look better than either of you cows would in them!"

That totally shut her up, and I saw one woman in front of me smile.

Revenge is sooooo sweet!

That's AWESOME Marci! What a great response! That'll teach them to think they're so smart! I love that!

[whowhatwhen]

I turned to them, very angry, and said, "You're effing right I am, and I'll look better than either of you cows would in them!"


A million bravos, bigots should be publically shamed and I applaud your courage to do so!

[MarciManseau]

That's AWESOME Marci! What a great response! That'll teach them to think they're so smart! I love that!

Thanks, Piora :) I'm not normally that confrontational, but those two nasty women deserved to be put in their place. :hugs:

I love your legs and that sexy slip too :) I love to see the lace hem of a slip peeking out from under my skirt when I wear one too. :koc:

[ReineD]

"You're effing right I am, and I'll look better than either of you cows would in them!"

Except that in most such cases, your words will not have the desired effect. If someone was so boorish as to say, "I bet he's buying those for himself" (how would she know, lol, men buy lingerie all the time for their wives), your strong words would be further proof to them that you are crazy. In other words, you will have reinforced their already negative views of you by lashing out instead of putting them in their places.

The best way to handle negative comments is with a positive attitude, and then you do have a chance to disarm them. :)

... or if the slight is strong enough, then you can register your indignation without lowering yourself to their level. A simple "You've no idea what my situation is and your comment is uncalled for" would have sufficed.

[whowhatwhen]

I'm going to disagree, if someone is going to be a bigot in public then they are a bad person and should be made to feel bad for their abhorrent views.
Chances are they won't change anyway so why even try?

[ReineD]

Chances are they won't change anyway so why even try?

Because then you look a fool to onlookers as well. People who "lose it" in public are looked askance, whether they have cause to lose it or not. They place themselves on the same level as the one who caused the injury.

It's like looking at a cat fight. Most onlookers don't care who started it, they are too busy enjoying the show.

Hopefully Marcie was not dressed when she said that. Otherwise, there are huge chances that onlookers would see CDers as being unstable and having volatile tempers.

[whowhatwhen]

You don't need to make a scene, you can tell someone that they're a horrible human being in a polite tone.

[ReineD]

You don't need to make a scene, you can tell someone that they're a horrible human being in a polite tone.

I agree with you. This is why using the word "effing", and calling someone a cow, was a bit over the top. :)

Edit ... in my opinion.

[Jeninus]

Not me, but it was kinda funny.

Back in 1976 I was in court defending a GG on a charge that she was illegally copying VHS tapes in her home...which of course she had been. That's how she paid her bills and my fee.

I was trying to suppress the evidence, i.e. get the charges thrown out, on the basis that the person who let the detectives into the apartment (her SO) was merely a visitor and didn't have the proper status to allow them in without a search warrant. The detective was testifying about the entry and the Judge was only half-awake (it was shortly after lunch, probably for him a heavy lunch). The Assistant DA asked the detective if he could identify the person who granted him permission to enter the premises. The detective pointed at the SO and stated in a loud, clear voice: "Yes sir, it was the gentleman seated in the front row, in the blue dress." (an almost triumphal emphasis on the words "gentleman" and "dress.")

The Judge then suddenly bolted upright, peered over the edge of the bench into the courtroom, and called out: "What was that you just said?" The detective again pointed at the SO and repeated what he had just said. The Judge turned beet-red in the face and apologized to the SO. There were smirks everywhere in the Courtroom except on my face and the Judge's. At the conclusion of the hearing he found that the SO, who was not sharing the home with my client, was not on the lease and was not married to her, did not have authority to grant a warrant-less search of my client's apartment. He suppressed the evidence and threw out the charges.

About 15 years later, at a Bar Association function, I was seated with the Judge at dinner and he brought up the case. He told me he had noticed the SO in the Courtroom, but had no idea she was a he (she was pre-op, but was skinny and fairly passable and I think she did eventually go under the knife.) He smiled about it and said the ADA should have warned him ahead of time what was going on. He then told the other members seated at the table about the case. It certainly had registered with him and he had handled it like a true gentleman.

Incidentally, at the earlier preliminary hearing before the District Magistrate, we were standing outside braving a bitter January wind. My client, the GG, was dressed sensibly in wool slacks and a car coat. The SO was in a light dress that was whipping about in the wind, hose and some sort of bolero jacket. I asked her whether she wasn't uncomfortable. Her reply was, "No. One has to make sacrifices if one is to be true to oneself." I've heard that same sentiment expressed on this site many times.