Feelings on passing?

[wilt575]

Do you always try to pass or not. My self it depends of mood and circumstances, some times like to get out among the girls passing with the group. Later hooking up with one for fun and good times later alone. On the other hand there are times when I don't try to pass, just kind of blend in and not really stand out at malls and every day to day routine things.

[Beverley Sims]

Passing is nice but blending is practical.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I've got sort of a negative opinion on the emphasis we all place on "passing" as a concept. I think it's sort of unfair standard, some of us are just going to have more naturally feminine and softer features and some of us aren't, which is true for GGs as well. I have however seen plenty of girls on this site and others who while they don't "pass" in their full femme modes, they look terrific. I've also seen some folks who pass but also seem sort of plain. Or, I see people who in the interest of passing will choose makeup techniques that actually work against their natural features rather than play up what is organically beautiful about them

Most of the time when I dress, I present as openly male but in women's clothes, though I also understand that this is not what most CDs are going for. Even when I do get en femme, I know I don't "pass." People know I'm a man in women's clothes, so rather than make the effort to pass as a woman I spend my energy learning how to look my best as a crossdresser.

I think replacing "do I pass" with "do I look comfortable and confident" would really help our community a lot. Both in self esteem issues and also in how we put our best faces forward when greeting the public.

[Sissy Michelle]

in my younger days i could "pass" and it was a nice feeling, mainly for the fact that it drew less attention and less chance of any kind of unpleasantries. Today however it wouldnt work and because of that i dont think i would feel comfortable.

[Kate Simmons]

I personally don't always but my alter ego, Kate Simmons, might have an issue with that.:)

[docrobbysherry]

Neither Sherry or I can pass, PERIOD!

I can blend, but that's NOT my style! Sherry refuses to blend, PERIOD!

[Jenniferathome]

To me, passing and blending are the same. You can't blend in if you are not passable. But no matter how you want to look at it, when I am dressed, I want to be seen as a woman and never as a guy in a dress.

[Katesback]

One of the definition of the P word goes something like this. To present something that is not and being able to fool other people. I have never used the P word here and never will. I hate that word more than any other word. The fact that someone has the P word in the back of thier mind sets them up for failure.

You are what you are and if you can get past the P word your far more likely to fit into the world better. The word I use in place of the P word is Presentation. Ya have a good presentation and your gold.

Katie

[Michelle James]

Kate, That's exactly the way I look at it.

[Sheila11]

I never pass, so I try to look as nice as I can. I see so many women that do not look like they care what they look like or how they present themselves. So I decided that even though I will always be a guy in a dress I will be the nicest looking guy in a dress that i can be.

[GinaD]

Do you always try to pass or not. My self it depends of mood and circumstances, some times like to get out among the girls passing with the group. Later hooking up with one for fun and good times later alone. On the other hand there are times when I don't try to pass, just kind of blend in and not really stand out at malls and every day to day routine things.

As a teen and young adult, it was easy. Now that I'm older, I think I do well in dim light if I take the time to really get the makeup, outfit, and wig together well. In full daylight, I don't think I pass if anyone looks closely. These days I go out less unless it's dark.

[Karren H]

I don't even try.......

[Carla Stevens]

Passing/Blending I don't know?
I tend to try to dress to blend in.
I tried this out for the first time this Wedneseday when I went out dressed in public for the first time, dressed as 'casual girl next door'.
I headed out to "The Village" in Manchester to attend a TG/CD social gathering.
What I didn't realise was that in this environment I was dressed no where nearly as wild as I should have been:eek: I didn't exactly blend in.
If I'd have been dressed a little more extravegantly, I may have fitted in better. :heehee:
What I'm trying to say is that you need to dress for the situation you are in.
Next time I head out to "The Village", I'll be dressing more wildly.:heehee:
'Casual next door girl' will have to do for blending in whilst shopping.

[Laura912]

Let's see...if there is a double yellow line...:) I just try to enjoy. Doubt that I could pass, unless there was a dotted line on my side.

[Julie Hall]

I avoid the entire issue by never leaving my apartment. By not putting myself into a position where someone could tell, the point becomes moot. For some strange reason I haven't been able to fathom, I have been going outside with brightly colored fingernails. So far I haven't had anyone really make a comment except for getting into a discussion with one SA about makeup and choosing the right shades for a persons skin tone. Interesting conversation for being in drab with nail polish. By the way, I don't have colored nails when going to work.

When I do dress at home I always dress for comfort.

Julie

[Joann Smith]

I never pass, so I try to look as nice as I can. I see so many women that do not look like they care what they look like or how they present themselves. So I decided that even though I will always be a guy in a dress I will be the nicest looking guy in a dress that i can be.

.....well put Sheila11.......

[Barbara Ella]

Have never tried, and doubt if i ever will, but i dress for myself and i grade on a curve, so I pass.

Babes

[Jilmac]

I don't really try to pass or blend. I do the same thing each time I dress to go out so whether I pass or blend in depends largely on where I am and who I'm with. As Popeye would say "I yam what I yam an' dats all what I yam".

[sissystephanie]

When my late wife was alive, she always did my makeup and fixed my wig. With that help I easily "passed" and never had any problems! She has been gone for 7 years now, and I don't even try to pass. I do go out in public dressed enfemme all the time, but I look just like the man that I am! And if people take double looks at me, I don't care!! I do dress enfemme to kind of blend in!!

[Diane Smith]

I have worked hard to develop a unique style and when I go out, I don't try to either "pass" or "blend" -- I'm just showing myself the way I have decided I want to be seen (which definitely is all girl, but like all things, not always a perfect illusion, and typically a bit more flashy and formal than most natal females bother with on a daily basis). There are always things I can do better and I am open to accepting suggestions and growing my wardrobe, makeup skills, feminine deportment and other aspects of my presentation -- but I'll always be presenting as myself, which some onlookers may perceive at first glance as female, and others will quickly discern as a man in a dress. I just try not to be bothered by this and be the best "me" I can be, with continuous improvements.

- Diane

[Pinky188]

When I go out in girl mode it is very important to me that I could pass. I may not, but if I look into the mirror and I say to myself, yeah, that will work! Then Im good! Other times I go out wearing a long skirt, dress, or some other kind of womens clothing without fixing myself up. In other words, looking like a bald guy in a dress or skirt.

[thechic]

With me i attempt to pass or blend in 100% of the time' to me both are the same as im out 27/7 some of the jobs i do i must pass as it would get quit hard for me' as i deal with the public often. :)

[Beverley Sims]

I might add here blending means to me dressing appropriately for the occasion.
No I would not give up half way and present as a man in a dress.
To pass is always the goal but I mean social interaction with people and not being outed in any way.
At a party it is a lot of fun when the news breaks and, "Is that really a man?" I love it.
To thechic,
I don't go 24/7 but do you have to wear art deco jewellery to blend in?.:)

[Michaela51]

I've got sort of a negative opinion on the emphasis we all place on "passing" as a concept. I think it's sort of unfair standard, some of us are just going to have more naturally feminine and softer features and some of us aren't, which is true for GGs as well. I have however seen plenty of girls on this site and others who while they don't "pass" in their full femme modes, they look terrific. I've also seen some folks who pass but also seem sort of plain. Or, I see people who in the interest of passing will choose makeup techniques that actually work against their natural features rather than play up what is organically beautiful about them

Most of the time when I dress, I present as openly male but in women's clothes, though I also understand that this is not what most CDs are going for. Even when I do get en femme, I know I don't "pass." People know I'm a man in women's clothes, so rather than make the effort to pass as a woman I spend my energy learning how to look my best as a crossdresser.

I think replacing "do I pass" with "do I look comfortable and confident" would really help our community a lot. Both in self esteem issues and also in how we put our best faces forward when greeting the public.

I feel the same and dress daily to express that. I feel good.

[joanna4]

I have 2 alter egos, 1) is the sexy young girl that wants to pass and 2) the fetish queen that wants to pass. I will always try to pass but when I go out in my fetish clothes, I know I'm not passing or blending in.

[Krististeph]

I never feel i am pretty enough or shapely enough to pass. I know this is only because of my self image, but it's not a real problem. I've CDd public a few times, my wife has been pretty supportive. With the support and love of my friend here, i hope to soon be able to "look comfortable and confident" in female clothes... FooK "passing"! I wish i could, but my bone structure says no. That's life. i'd still rather be who i am now than any other non CD or GD male out there: man, I cannot imagine how much most guys' lives must suck not being CD or TG or GD... Poor fools.

So, it is a comfort thing- are you comfortable in who you really are? Youcertainly sound like it- why not acknowledge both of your personas regardless of how you dress.

i did a recent post on outfits i am too shy to wear around my wife. Two days later, well i wore one tonight (just a nice evening gown, nothing crazy) and it's wonderful. Man, I feel sorry for all the 'straights' and non CDs when my friends here finally get me revved up and confident enough to go full public....

So take a few deep breaths, accept you will probably never look as cute or pretty as you wish you could, but everyone else is just the same. You will look cute and pretty enough if you smile, and be happy with yourself.

i used to shoot models' portfolios and some fashion- i could tell withing 2 minutes if the model was going to do well- a sincere attitude, a genuine smile- 95% accurate in getting modeling jobs- they were titanium angels: they were confident and no one could hurt them with any kind of negative comment, but then no one would want to either- appreciate your good points and others will want to join in on the feelings of success.

You've just motivated me to re-iterate my own advice this next week... thanks! it's never failed to work!

-kristi

[Kelly Greene]

I try to look pretty.
trying to pass causes to much stress.

[skylance]

I would like to eventually be passable, however, i dont think that's ever really gonna be possible as i have extremely broad shoulders and other very distinguishable male characteristics. I am hoping that once i can get a set of forms, a wig, and learn some make-up techniques the masculine look might not be AS noticeable. I'm also still in the process of getting comfortable just actually stepping outside while even partially dressed

[Phylis Nicole Schuyler]

I don't even try.......

You don't need to Karren. It looks like it comes naturally to you. Of course attitude makes all the difference. Sometimes more than makeup.

[Megan70]

Passing In Public( again) There is HOPE for you guys (girlz) Read On; This is A Revising thread for all newbies who've joined in the last 3 years and scared to death to take that first step outside. Not everyone should.... or has to feel compelled to!:chained:

Dear Sisters of the forum, especially those whom venture out:
I feel I must add my:2c: on the subject of "Passing As A Women". I am a 60ish CD who has been going out dressed in public now for over 50 years, since my early teens. Sometimes I get "read" as we say, but most of the time I don't. Its because I've spent years perfecting my art as passing naturally as a woman an not to come of as a buffoon caricature of one. .. I want to blend in unnoticed and not be stared at or go for the big shock value. That ruins the whole thrill of the "acting" part passing naturally.
CD's will never pass 100% of the time, but the objective here is to minimize it as much as possible. The scenario of going out for 3 hours to the mall or shopping center and behaving and shopping exactly as a woman would, and fool everyone is a thrill beyond belief. CD's must remember however that to minimize being spotted they have a few things they MUST do.

1) Dress appropriately for the place you are walking around at-No silk blouse, miniskirt, black hose or high heels when you go to the mall or grocery store or shopping center. You'll be spotted in a second and probably be laughed at. Wear what others are wearing in that particular place-like jeans and sweatshirt in the mall, look around you will see no legs showing .

2) Walk out the door with confidence and your head held high and don't slouch and stare at the ground avoiding eye contact. Its shows you/re afraid of something, mainly yourself.
I as a CD want to look and act like a woman occasionally because I emulate you so much. I admire woman and respect them that I want to look, act and fee l"pretty" like them albeit for just a few hours. I often have to explain to women I meet in bars or clubs the huge difference between a drag queen and a cross dresser. Most don't have a clue. When they find out that I've been married for 40 years and my wife knows of and accepting of my behavior they can't believe it.(She even goes out with me shopping. dinner, movies and more.) They always think I'm gay. The professional drag queens that I've talked to cannot,for the life of them understand why a heterosexual male would enjoy and get sexual and emotional gratification from wearing women's clothes. They do it as a performer, paid role-playing and performing for the money for a few hours at a club.,. They would never think of dressing up in women's attire at home on their own. I guess what I'm saying is that I wish I could experience for 24 hours in all ways(emotionally and sexually) what it would truly be like to live as a real woman. Also..... Here's to admiration to the beautiful gentle sex of the planet who gets all the fun looking pretty and feminine.

Remember if one thing stands out the most to give yourself away its fear! It shows in your face,:sad: your walk, your deportment. having complete confidence in yourself as you walk outside is the most important thing (plus no.2 I found is wearing the right wig for your face and age-found out being read by experience there.:eek:

One thing I discovered that help me build my confidence and almost eliminate paranoia is never look over your shoulder TO SEE IF ANYONE IS WATCHING YOU. it's A DEAD GIVEAWAY THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THAT PERSON(You). First thought is you are a shoplifter.:loser: If you can feel eyes burning into your back :facepalm:.SO WHAT its their problem, not yours.What, you gonna bring them home to dinner with you. What your back doesn't see OR Worry About will not hurt you. :tongueout

You may want to even be bold enough (as I have) and turn around and reverse the embarrassment to THEM and approach them and say" "Can I answer any questions for you? I saw you staring, do you have a problem?.Have you never experienced a transvestite before? I think we should talk!":blah: I did this to a teenage SA counter girl years ago and she babbled and almost wet her pants. I ended it by saying , "yes, I'm a cross dresser but also a customer-my money is just as good as a females."

More from Abby's advice column later dears:sb:

Love:^5:

Megan70

[Marleena]

There.. advice we can all use from Megan. Thank you!

[PretzelGirl]

A movie sent me a message once......

175506

I agree with Megan too, although I prefer to not say I want to fool others. I just don't want to draw their attention. That is a compliment by itself. I go out so I can be out as me. I don't want negative experiences, so the less attention, the better.

[Lorileah]

Meh, passing and blending are over rated. They are virtually unattainable in most situations ( unless you are 5'4" 120 pounds and smallish). Don't we have enough pressure on us without adding that burden?

I have noted here that the majority of people who have been around on these boards for a long time don't work hard to pass or blend. It sort of confuses me why so many here want to be noticed and want to blend in. You cannot do both. I have said it before blending is the easiest thing in the world to do. Wear jeans (slacks) a simple shirt and either moccasin flans or athletic shoes. Don't make your hair up or your face. Walk like you are on eggshells and slump. You will be taken for most people , male and female, out in public. However my idea of dressing means I want to be seen and noticed. If I spend hours getting ready, I want someone to stop and stare. Otherwise, just go around like you always do. It does not make sense to me for someone to out on a nice dress and heels, maybe make up and a wig and then say "Don't look at me".

[cassandra54]

A movie sent me a message once......

175506

I agree with Megan too, although I prefer to not say I want to fool others. I just don't want to draw their attention. That is a compliment by itself. I go out so I can be out as me. I don't want negative experiences, so the less attention, the better.


i am with you there Sue. i try to look as good as possible. i think the less attention we draw to ourselves (cd's, tg's, etc.) the better. we don't want to wind up on peopleofwalmart,com or any other website. that being said, i think there are some limitations or rather expectations of how we can present ourselves while in public and en femme. i know some people here have their own opinions and ideas, but imho, i think dressing appropriately with a wig, ( if you need one) and makeup (if you need some) if important.

on the other hand, while i don't obsess about being passable in public and i certainly know i may never, it is a nice goal to strive for and once again, i stress doing that with a reasonable effort

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

It does not make sense to me for someone to out on a nice dress and heels, maybe make up and a wig and then say "Don't look at me".

That's exactly how I feel. I don't want to hide who I am and I hate this feeling that we should have to. I spent my teen years and most of my 20's hiding who I was behind closed doors and anonymous names on internet forums and I just don't want to do it any longer. I don't want to go out in public and just make it another closet door.

I'd rather be seen as a confident, bold crossdresser than as a shy, blendable "woman" so I dress in clothes that I like and make me feel good. I wear the makeup that I want to wear and if I want to wear a wig I will but I don't have to.

I wish people on here would stop using the man in a dress comment paired up with "giving up" or "going halfway." If that's how I choose to present it is no less a full decision than "passing" is, and it is never half, it is it's own unique choice that I can make if I want to.

[Nicole Brown]

To me, passing and blending are just two words which describe our desires to be seen and not stand out in a crowd. When I am out and about, I always want to be seen and accepted as the female I am presenting as. In other words, I want to be viewed as any other woman you may pass when walking down the street or shopping at the mall.

[Shelly Preston]

All we can do is present ourselves in the best way possible.

After that I would remind you of a quote


You may fool all the people some of the time, you can even fool some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time

[Sallee]

:)some of the people can be fooled some of the time but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.
I know that I agree with what has been said "Dress to blend and appropriate for the situation." I seem to pass when I do that or at least I don't seem like I am standing out in the crowd and I don't get the Look.
But some times it is nice to over do it, too high heels, short skirt, lots of cleavage glamour makeup. That is what makes cross dressing fun. But that is for my night at the club, usually gay, the down side of that is there are usually a bunch DQ's there that look fabulous and they put me to shame. Oh well, I can enjoy the mall in jeans and flats and pass with no questions most of the time.
Bottom line try to keep it fun and be safe

[jjjjohanne]

I'm not interested in passing. I just wear the clothes with a man head. I find it a struggle to find clothes that transition well from a man head without a sudden burst of femininity. Wow, that sentence doesn't make any sense. I don't want to look pathetic. I want to dress in the clothes, but I want to present as a man. I want to represent us well. I have been told by some store clerks where I was shopping that they appreciated me keeping a man's head. They said that they liked it better that I was not pretending to be something I was not. I responded to one lady that I am different than most CDs. To me, it is about the clothes. But to many, it is about becoming a woman. They would not be satisfied to wear the clothes only. I have tried to wear makeup, just for the excuse to wear the clothes. I must say that I find the man-head approach to be much less work!

[suchacutie]

My wise wife once explained to me that your clothes (and the rest of it) should make you feel wonderful.

To me, part of feeling wonderful is the same issue I've been hearing from GGs since I was old enough to understand language, "omg, what should I wear to this...(event)." To me there is a comfort zone of wearing what one "should" wear for a certain situation. Once I've done that and I feel great, what else can I do, or what else can I expect?

Once Tina is in her "zone", she is who she is. If anyone doesn't like that, there's not much I can do about it, so why worry or be concerned at all.

:)

tina

[ArleneRaquel]

I'll settle for blending, for me passing is at best hit & miss.

[STACY B]

I once ask about the dreaded passin on a thread before an got my leggs SWITCHED ,, So thats what we all ask ,, Since I already knew the amswer it was fun to ask but the answers I got were rite on . Ya cant pass unless your 18 an havent hit puberty yet an have no beard or should have been born female anyway with all the trates of a girl an its not realy passing its more body image becuz for the most part we cant pass ,, But we can dam sure keepin guessing though an most people are to scared to ask or just dont want to know .

[linda allen]

To me, passing and blending are the same. You can't blend in if you are not passable. But no matter how you want to look at it, when I am dressed, I want to be seen as a woman and never as a guy in a dress.

Those are my feelings exactly. I don't want to be a "guy in a dress". Or a guy in a wig with boobs. And I certainly don't want friends or neighbors to recognize me as a guy in a dress.

[Sarasometimes]

Passing is nice but blending is practical.

My objective prescisely! At 6'2" and not great checkbones I think that is my best goal. Essentially, I just want to move about the cabin without undue attention.

[Ayaka.N]

I was thinking about this the other night. For the first time in a few weeks I had psyched myself up to getting dressed and made up for a little night time walk, as I'm still quite far off trying it during the day time. I felt a little confident as I stepped out but still couldn't work up the courage to go anywhere I would likely be seen, and soon enough I was getting a little neurotic about my appearance, and ended up taking a few detours to make sure I wouldn't be seen up close. I ended up thinking about the old paradox of the tree in the woods, am I passing if there's nobody there to see me? Then as I turned around corner I almost bumped into a huge guy and trotted home like a spooked horse.

Eventually I came to the conclusion that if I'm not passing, I don't really want to be out there. Like those just above me:

I don't want to be a "guy in a dress". Or a guy in a wig with boobs.

To those of you who do have the emotional strength to stare down society, good for you though, you're making way for the rest of us!

[Michelia]

I never pass. I ALWAYS blend, even if I stick out a bit being so girly. It is not something I plan. It is just the way it is.

[ArleneRaquel]

I try to blend, if I pass, I pass, if not at my age I really don't care.

[KimberlyJean]

Maybe not passing but fitting in, when I shop in guy mode I get alot of looks and never feel comfortable. When I shop as Kimberly I hardly get any looks at all and feel so much more comfortable, once I get in the doors. Getting out of the car is very hard.

[TGMarla]

Passing is nice but blending is practical.

Yeah, but it's not near as fun as getting all dressed up all pretty. I think the misnomer is that we think, "Nobody knows!" And that's bullcrap. I'd say that about 95% of us get clocked every few seconds when out in a crowd, no matter what we're wearing. So wear whatever you like. A whole lot of people are still going to pass you by and think to themselves, "I'll be darned.....a freakin' crossdresser! That was a guy!"

As for passing, it's nice to put your best foot forward and try your best to look as female as you can without placing a neon sign on your head that says "Yo! Crossdresser here!" I suppose dressing down a bit (or a lot) may cause fewer people to take a second look at you, but I think most of us get clocked no matter what we're wearing, so let it ride.

[Kaitlyn26]

The only time I do not care about passing is the day after. If I stay anywhere besides home, a friends house or something I could care less. Just cover the faded makeup with some sunglasses and the loosened tuck with a long shirt and get home lol. As far as how I dress. I try to dress practical and with my age group more or less.

[Eryn]

A movie sent me a message once......

You should watch different movies! :)

176122

Seriously, I don't know any Jedi mind tricks, so I just look the best I can for a given situation. It seems to work.

[Michelia]

Passing is a crock...

unless you are transitioning and want to be a 100% girl everywhere you go. For the rest of us, dressing should be fun. I blend not because of the way I dress, but because I smile and talk to people...I mix. It works! I never dress not to be noticed. Why would I? I spent so many years in the closet and worked so hard to finally come out and be me, that now I am going to wear what I think others want me to wear? Or so they won't notice me? And I still can't be me? i.e. dress the way that I want?

Not this girl. Oh BTW I hate rules that say that girls over 50 cannot wear short skirts or heels or makeup. I always try to look nice... but I love wavy short skirts and my hair loose in the wind or tied with a flower. You would not believe how often I get comments from other ggs like..."I love the flower in your hair" or "I love your skirt" or "I love your shoes" . Last week I had a gg tell me she felt bad because she does not take care of herself like I do. She loved my shaved legs and asked me all kinds of thing about my shaving routine. She said she was going home and try to make herself prettier! Now is that fun? Does that make me feel good? You be it does. Now you do run the risk of having ladies be a bit jealous....

I never had a gg complement me when I wear non-descript shoes with jeans and a t-shirt. I do it if I am going to the park to play with my kid and it is windy and my skirt would blow up. But normally it is so much nicer and comfortable to wear my skirt or my cutoffs.

[GBJoker]

I will never be dressed up around another person unless I pass as perfectly as I am able. Or I need to make a point for some reason.

[Jazzygurlcruz]

A lot of it is in your own head. I always think that I'm not passable enough to go out, but my girlfriend always has more faith in me than I do. So we go out and I always realize she's right as soon as a guy talks to me, which usually doesn't take very long lol

[Katelyn B]

Whenever I leave the house, which given I am transitioning is often and for any number of reasons from going out to going food shopping, I want to be taken as a normal member of society and left alone to do what ever it is I'm there to do, there is nothing remarkable about a woman having a coffee with a friend, so I don't want it to be remarkable that I'm out for coffee with a friend. If I get read however, then it doesn't bother me in the slightest since I am trsnssexual and expecting people to not notice and have a slight reaction is silly, since I have a reaction whenever I see a tall person, or a short person, or a really attractive person, I think to myself, there quite short / tall / attractive, and then move onto the next thing.

I guess in that regard I do want to pass, but passing for me is just blending in with everyone else getting on with life.

[jennacda2]

I try to pass but I guess it depends on how much time I have. Plus I haven't gone out in public yet, so I guess I'm not really dressing up for others in the first place. Also I think the idea of having to pass or not has sort of closeted me, since in my head I would rather not look ridiculous if I go out in public, but I guess that's a matter of others' opinions of me not really my own opinion.

I hope this makes sense. :)

[gailgirl9]

Although it is obviously not a popular view in this forum, to me, passing is all important. Although I am not gorgeous, I have the advantage of not being very tall, and fairly slight (feminine, I guess) features. As a result, I seem to pass very well. Either people are not reading me, or they are being polite. There is no bigger thrill than going to a department store and trying on various outfits and having no one read you. Same with going to a restaurant and interacting with the wait staff. If I am read, it is scary and extremely disappointing. Just my view. I try to blend, but also be natural appearing as a woman.

[Angie G]

Ii can;t pass in total dark.And don't even try.I just dress at home wiht my wife where I don't need to.:hugs:
Angie

[Andy66]

I was running a cash register last night at my work, and a CD/TS/TG lady came through my line. It took me a few seconds to read her, after I had already Ma'amed her. I continued to treat her the same as I would treat any other lady. She was shy, tried to hide her face and did not speak a word. Too bad, I wonder what she was so worried about? So what if I read her? I would have liked to let her know that she was among friends. I was in girl mode at work, by the way, because like Angie, I couldn't pass (as a guy, in my case) in the dark.

[Leyna]

Everybody like passing, but you have to establish the run first. And defense wins championships.

:lol2:

[Fiona Lindum]

I don' t pass even when wearing makeup and a wig. I was in a shop on a very hot day(I often visit this shop) and I was wearing my wig. The SA and I were chatting and she said you would feel cooller if you took your wig off. Since then I very rarely wear a wig and I have had no problems with being a man dressed in womens clothes.

[mscatie85]

I don't think passing is as important to me as is the feeling of looking in the mirror and seeing that the person looking back is beautiful no matter what. Besides the reason I dress is not to please others but to satisfy a need to feel pretty.

[Celeste]

I like the replacement of passing with presentation,there never has to be a conclusion drawn and no one sets the standard for anyone else...we are what we are and at that point in our journey.I've learned to let the pressure of passing go and simply try to do what feels good according to my taste.

[Krissie1962]

:)its an addiction,for me to be seen as a women.I have been venturing out more the last year or so.I allways dress as the women I believe I am .I am not real passable ,but think im pretty and that is fine with me.yeh I get second looks mostly from gg-s,I do aviod real close encounters.one thing Ive been trying to get the courage to do is go to the instore bank to take care of buisness only this time as the women I am ... wow what a dream to see the tellers face when she meets the real me.I would not like to be seen as a man in a skirt.blending in is not easy as most gg-s dont care /dont present the female side of themselves.and wear pants ugggg.so skirts and dresses are rare in the casual world.

[Sandra1746]

For all of us here CD is a very personal experience, there are no real categories that could contain all of us. The same likely applies for those of us who venture out as regards 'passing' or 'presentation' or whatever label you prefer. So much depends on the venue, the mall or the grocery store is different than a bar or club.

My opinion is that we all try to achieve a 'presence' that elicits a courteous response from whomever we may interact with; I know that is my goal. As for me 'passing' the others would have to be blind and deaf to mistake me for a GG; BUT I get treated with courtesy and at first glance am often addressed with a feminine pronoun. I dress 'appropriately' for my age and the venue with fem tops and jewelry (earrings and necklace) I generally wear mens slacks because I have a surplus stock of them from my work days and am too "frugal" to replace them with a 'near duplicate'. I also carry a shoulder bag, AKA purse.

I smile, make eye contact and am courteous and have never had a problem yet. I shop for my own clothes and try on things too. As for the "bathroom question" I either use the family restroom or the mens room, there is no sense looking for trouble there for no real benefit.

Just my opinion,
Sandra1746

[Sophie_C]

I do have to say, that there's way too much people patting each other on the back and sort of overly giving each other credit for "passing" when most people "pass" dubiously, at best.

I think it's something one shouldn't put too much pressure on themselves with, unless they are actively transitioning. Unless you've got stellar genes and are a teenager, testosterone will ravage the body, making every nook and cranny masculine, and the more masculine as time progresses. So, no matter what you do, you're fighting an uphill battle. If you are transitioning, then you're stopping that in it's tracks and getting the female hormones valid to make it possible, but unless that's done prior to puberty, you may require some surgery to "pass."

So, take a reality check, see where you are, and just go with it.

If you're just a casual cross-dresser, OWN IT. Make an effort, but don't really care about "passing." Be a "tranny" but make it classy and low-key, with an effort to blend more than stand out. You can still be "one of the girls" (as more of an "honorary girl" in some of their eyes). You can still shop. You can still go out and have a night on the town. And, you'll be far more relaxed and have a lot more fun with it.

But, don't ever delude yourself, thinking that with, maybe 20 years of testosterone, masculizing every corner of your body, adjusting all of your measurements, from your feet to your head, that with any amount of makeup and clothing, you'll be see truly as a woman.

Now, if you're transitioning, it's some work, but I think it's semi-possible, depending on the person, age and the amount of surgery you do. But, don't forget the more time it takes before you transition, the more surgery you'll have to do, and it might be impossible beyond a certain point to even be possible. But, I wouldn't let it get to me (especially if or when I follow your path) until substantial progress would be done.

[sherri]

Passing is overrated, and even misleading. Besides, it's just delusion for 95% of us, so why obsess about it?