Thinking about going out, but...

[Morford]

I've been (mostly) in the closet for years—I have a couple of friends who know, but I rarely dress in front of them anyway. I'm pretty confident that I can put together a passable look, and I kinda want to go out shopping with a friend in girl mode. There's just one major problem.

No matter how good I go with my outfit, hair, makeup, and all that, the illusion would get completely destroyed as soon as I open my mouth. I have a mid-tenor speaking voice, and while I do occasionally get called "ma'am" on the phone I can't get a feminine tone at will.

Any suggestions on how to pass in the vocal department? I'm not looking for any long-term or permanent change, mind you—as I said, I'm still closeted and very much a part-time dresser. But I just don't feel comfortable going out when I'd give myself away so easily.

[STACY B]

Do what I do ??? Get your SO or your freind to do all or most of the talkin . Cuz I sound like TRACE ADKINS , JOHNNY CASH ,

[Fallen Angel]

just nod amd smile alot

[JessHaust]

If you show confidence, the sound of your voice will not make the slightest difference. It's all about the way you act. Believe you belong and everyone around will believe as well.

[Karren H]

Passing is so over rated! Just go out and enjoy yourself and don't worry what other people think.

[JessHaust]

Passing is so over rated! Juist go out and enjoy yoirself and don't worry what other people think.
...........What she said!!!.............

[Sheila11]

Passing is so over rated! Juist go out and enjoy yoirself and don't worry what other people think.

Ditto.

Karen, why do I agree with you so often? Is it because we are both so right?

[carhill2mn]

If you have a "mid-tenor voice" (as do I) you can easliy alter it a little to sound more feminine. There are several small things that you can do: 1) speak more softly; 2) learn to use the words and phrases that women use; 3) speak from higher up on you "voice box" to change the "timber" of your voice; 4) do not be "assertive" in your choice of words or tone of voice; 5) do not try to use a falsetto are a few. Your "style" of speaking and mannerisms are important.

I have conversed with both men and women many times and for fairly long periods of time without incident.

Good luck and enjoy!

[Eryn]

Carole makes good points. The attitude is more important than the pitch.

Consider these voices:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35fW0ybHQXw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etd0zyDhItQ

[RenneB]

I agree with Karren on this one. Just be confident and head on out. Who cares? Okay, if you really do have to say anything, practice with a recorder and up the pitch a little bit. Speak softly and you'll do just fine.... really it's a blast out in the real world..

Renne.....

[Bree-asaurus]

Learn a bit of sign language? :P

You can actually train your voice to sound like a woman's voice. It's something most transexuals have to do. No reason why you couldn't do it too. But it takes a lot of work and it's hard to achieve if you aren't using it 24/7

[Helen Grandeis]

I agree with Karren on this one. Just be confident and head on out. Who cares? Okay, if you really do have to say anything, practice with a recorder and up the pitch a little bit. Speak softly and you'll do just fine.... really it's a blast out in the real world..

Renne.....

The key is to do the best you can, dress conservatively and age / body appropriate and then walk out into the world with confidence like you owned the place. I was always treated with courtesy and respect by sales people. On the pier in Naples, FL people were so nice and took my picture numerous times on the long walk out! Have a great time.

[Josie M]

Yea, what Karen said....be confident and you'll be OK....going out with a friend will help.

[Barbara Ella]

I have never gone out, I have not tried to pass. I have not tried to blend in. So why am i typing... Oh, yes, to suggest that the advice given here is dead on. Go out to have fun, not as a test. If you cant do something, dont do it. Plan ahead, have work arounds in place. Dont worry, be happy.

Now, someone write these great advice gems down so you can repeat them for me in a year or so...My short term memory is age appropriate.

Babes

[STACY B]

Passing is so over rated! Just go out and enjoy yourself and don't worry what other people think.

Ya know what realy funny ,,? Go out DRESSED to a bar an sing KAROKE like a man then yull be the life of the party ,, Works for me ,, Dressed like DOLLY,, Sings like JOHNNY !!!! TAKE THIS JOB AN SHOVE IT !!!!!!! PAYCHECK that is .

[sissystephanie]

I have a very Bass voice, but I do like Karren says. I just ignore the voice and enjoy myself!

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I never worried about the voice and passing is overrated. I am sure what people see when I am out is mostly a man in a dress but what I see is so much more so that's all that matters.

[María José]

Don´t worry about your voice! Do you ocassionally get called ma´am on the phone? I never do! And I go out without problem.

[kimdl93]

If you look presentable, why worry about your voice. Honestly, part of the fun is letting people know you're comfortable as you are, or if you're really good, letting them in on the secret. Either way, I think you'll be surprised at how well you're received by others.

[Jazzygurlcruz]

Just do it! Ur probably overthinking it. Once u go out in public dressed up, you'll wonder why it took you so long. Good luck