paulaloha
03-07-2012, 01:58 AM
OK, so I just have to tell you girls what has been going on in my life the past 4 days!
I'm sorry this is going to be a bit long, but I just can't help but express myself right now.
(For those of you who don't feel like reading all this there will be a short recap near the bottom)
Last Friday, I posted in the clothing, accessories & shopping section, saying that I was nervous about going shopping and about how I was freaking out at the thought of going shopping in public on a busy Saturday.
Well Saturday came and I decided to go for it, so I went shopping at the outlet mall. There were a fair number of people out, definitely not a slow day. I proceeded to walk around and gaze in the front of stores, I couldn't quite drum up the courage to go inside and actually shop. Then I strolled past Jockey, and I say OK, I buy mens underwear here, I'll at least go look and see what there is in that category. Well I get inside and I look around, grab a few pairs of mens underwear, all the while my brain is going crazy, telling me to go look at the women's section. So finally I decide to woman up and go look, I spotted the clearance section in the back of the store and I walked over, glancing at mens items along the way. There was a fairly young couple in the back shopping, so I was really nervous, not only were there people there, but another guy. I decided to just go for it, I walked over to the women's sale section and started browsing, I told myself just act like you belong here, like it's totally normal for you to be looking at these items. After that it just sorta clicked, it started to diminish my fear and I continued to browse and I took a few cute items off and put them in my hand. I realized I do have every right to shop in that section as anyone else. After shopping for a bit I strolled up to the counter, the SA asked if I was ready to check out and I said yes, and proceeded to make small talk with her. She didn't treat me weird at all, ask any questions about my items or give me any funny looks, we had a pleasant conversation and I left feeling lighter than air. I DID IT! I actually shopped for women's clothing! Women's underwear at that! I proceeded to look around a few other stores but didn't find anything I liked, so I left having made my first purchase of women's clothing!
Well the next day I went rock climbing with a friend of mine. After we climbed for a while we at dinner and started to setup camp. Well we gathered our fire wood and started the fire and sat down to enjoy the serenity that a camp fire brings. Well it sparked some good conversation and finally we got around to talking about societies view of genders. After hearing some of his views on the matter and knowing that he has gone through some similar things since he is gay, I decided I was going to tell him about my crossdressing.
He responded so well I couldn't have imagined it going any better! He was so supportive and started asking me questions and just talking about things. We talked about some the different challenges that we each face with our situations and some of the joys we experience because of who we are. We talked for hours and finally we got ready to turn in, he ended our conversation reassuring me that he was there to talk about anything, anytime I needed to talk.
The next day we had a great time climbing, it was so nice having someone I could hang out with and not have to be guarded. At one point another climber passed us and said one of the usual hey hows it going comments and after he walked past my friend leaned over to me and said under his breath. "Oh great man, just a gay guy and a crossdresser going out to do some climbing." It made me happy to have someone I could joke around with about this part of my life that has caused me so much stress over the years.
After coming out to my friend I had so much confidence and felt so good! When I got home I decided to shave my legs again, I wasn't planning on it since warm weather is fast approaching here in GA. But I didn't care, I shaved them anyways.
Then today after I got off work I decided to give shopping another go. So I headed down to the mall and started looking around. I found myself in Hot Topic browsing the women's section, once again telling myself that I am free to be myself and shop for whatever clothes I want to. I ended up finding 2 great tee shirts, and I found a CUTE red Abbey Dawn shirt that I knew I had to buy! I am a huge Avril Lavigne fan after all. So after finding that shirt I decided to make a punk outfit out of it. So I got a black mini skirt / tutu and some red fishnet thigh highs! I once again headed up to the register and talked casually with the SA's, who treated me 100% normal. I left once again feeling incredible about myself and loving my new found confidence. I proceed to browse some other stores and I finally found something else I just had to have in Dillards. I found a super cute black, one shoulder shirt, I am a sucker for one shoulder anything. I got that and a strapless, padded tube top to wear with that and my Abbey Dawn shirt. I browsed several other stores but didn't find anything that screamed out, BUY ME!
After the mall closed I went to wal-mart to pick up some other girly items I needed. I ended up with some colored berts bee's lip balm, red nail polish, tweezers for keeping my eyebrows under control and several other girly maintenance items. I also got several pairs of Hanes bikinis in some cute colors and I got a cheap bra to accommodate my new clothes later that night. I plan to buy some good bras in the near future, as soon as I recover from all my spending over the last 4 days.
I came home and showered, shaved my arm pits and then proceeded to try on all my new clothes. I have been in girls clothes for the past 3 hours and it makes me so happy! I feel so girly and free!
(RECAP)
I got over my fear of shopping on Saturday and ended up buying 2 pairs of panties, 2 bras and a cami.
Then I finally came out and told a friend of mine about my dressing. He was so accepting and encouraging!
That gave me tons of confidence so today I went shopping at the mall and bought 4 shirts, a skirt, thigh highs, more panties and a bra. I also bought some nail polish and some colored lip balm that makes my lips all sparkly and red!
I also shaved my legs and arm pits over the past 4 days.
I have made so many huge steps forward for myself the past 4 days and it feels SO GOOD to finally start being comfortable with myself and living how I have dreamed of living for years.
I know I owe a lot of this new found confidence to you ladies here.
I just wanted to say thank you all so much for your constant encouragement to me, and to the other girls here. All these positive vibes rubbed off on me!
I am hoping to post some pictures soon of my new clothes and with painted nails and all that.
But tonight I just wanted to give you all an update and tell you how much it rocks being a crossdresser! I am having so much fun with this new found confidence! I hope I never turn back!
Now I just have to stop having so much fun shopping before it breaks my bank account which it is already dangerously close to doing!
Love you ladies!
Paula
(once again I apologize for the length)
I'm sorry this is going to be a bit long, but I just can't help but express myself right now.
(For those of you who don't feel like reading all this there will be a short recap near the bottom)
Last Friday, I posted in the clothing, accessories & shopping section, saying that I was nervous about going shopping and about how I was freaking out at the thought of going shopping in public on a busy Saturday.
Well Saturday came and I decided to go for it, so I went shopping at the outlet mall. There were a fair number of people out, definitely not a slow day. I proceeded to walk around and gaze in the front of stores, I couldn't quite drum up the courage to go inside and actually shop. Then I strolled past Jockey, and I say OK, I buy mens underwear here, I'll at least go look and see what there is in that category. Well I get inside and I look around, grab a few pairs of mens underwear, all the while my brain is going crazy, telling me to go look at the women's section. So finally I decide to woman up and go look, I spotted the clearance section in the back of the store and I walked over, glancing at mens items along the way. There was a fairly young couple in the back shopping, so I was really nervous, not only were there people there, but another guy. I decided to just go for it, I walked over to the women's sale section and started browsing, I told myself just act like you belong here, like it's totally normal for you to be looking at these items. After that it just sorta clicked, it started to diminish my fear and I continued to browse and I took a few cute items off and put them in my hand. I realized I do have every right to shop in that section as anyone else. After shopping for a bit I strolled up to the counter, the SA asked if I was ready to check out and I said yes, and proceeded to make small talk with her. She didn't treat me weird at all, ask any questions about my items or give me any funny looks, we had a pleasant conversation and I left feeling lighter than air. I DID IT! I actually shopped for women's clothing! Women's underwear at that! I proceeded to look around a few other stores but didn't find anything I liked, so I left having made my first purchase of women's clothing!
Well the next day I went rock climbing with a friend of mine. After we climbed for a while we at dinner and started to setup camp. Well we gathered our fire wood and started the fire and sat down to enjoy the serenity that a camp fire brings. Well it sparked some good conversation and finally we got around to talking about societies view of genders. After hearing some of his views on the matter and knowing that he has gone through some similar things since he is gay, I decided I was going to tell him about my crossdressing.
He responded so well I couldn't have imagined it going any better! He was so supportive and started asking me questions and just talking about things. We talked about some the different challenges that we each face with our situations and some of the joys we experience because of who we are. We talked for hours and finally we got ready to turn in, he ended our conversation reassuring me that he was there to talk about anything, anytime I needed to talk.
The next day we had a great time climbing, it was so nice having someone I could hang out with and not have to be guarded. At one point another climber passed us and said one of the usual hey hows it going comments and after he walked past my friend leaned over to me and said under his breath. "Oh great man, just a gay guy and a crossdresser going out to do some climbing." It made me happy to have someone I could joke around with about this part of my life that has caused me so much stress over the years.
After coming out to my friend I had so much confidence and felt so good! When I got home I decided to shave my legs again, I wasn't planning on it since warm weather is fast approaching here in GA. But I didn't care, I shaved them anyways.
Then today after I got off work I decided to give shopping another go. So I headed down to the mall and started looking around. I found myself in Hot Topic browsing the women's section, once again telling myself that I am free to be myself and shop for whatever clothes I want to. I ended up finding 2 great tee shirts, and I found a CUTE red Abbey Dawn shirt that I knew I had to buy! I am a huge Avril Lavigne fan after all. So after finding that shirt I decided to make a punk outfit out of it. So I got a black mini skirt / tutu and some red fishnet thigh highs! I once again headed up to the register and talked casually with the SA's, who treated me 100% normal. I left once again feeling incredible about myself and loving my new found confidence. I proceed to browse some other stores and I finally found something else I just had to have in Dillards. I found a super cute black, one shoulder shirt, I am a sucker for one shoulder anything. I got that and a strapless, padded tube top to wear with that and my Abbey Dawn shirt. I browsed several other stores but didn't find anything that screamed out, BUY ME!
After the mall closed I went to wal-mart to pick up some other girly items I needed. I ended up with some colored berts bee's lip balm, red nail polish, tweezers for keeping my eyebrows under control and several other girly maintenance items. I also got several pairs of Hanes bikinis in some cute colors and I got a cheap bra to accommodate my new clothes later that night. I plan to buy some good bras in the near future, as soon as I recover from all my spending over the last 4 days.
I came home and showered, shaved my arm pits and then proceeded to try on all my new clothes. I have been in girls clothes for the past 3 hours and it makes me so happy! I feel so girly and free!
(RECAP)
I got over my fear of shopping on Saturday and ended up buying 2 pairs of panties, 2 bras and a cami.
Then I finally came out and told a friend of mine about my dressing. He was so accepting and encouraging!
That gave me tons of confidence so today I went shopping at the mall and bought 4 shirts, a skirt, thigh highs, more panties and a bra. I also bought some nail polish and some colored lip balm that makes my lips all sparkly and red!
I also shaved my legs and arm pits over the past 4 days.
I have made so many huge steps forward for myself the past 4 days and it feels SO GOOD to finally start being comfortable with myself and living how I have dreamed of living for years.
I know I owe a lot of this new found confidence to you ladies here.
I just wanted to say thank you all so much for your constant encouragement to me, and to the other girls here. All these positive vibes rubbed off on me!
I am hoping to post some pictures soon of my new clothes and with painted nails and all that.
But tonight I just wanted to give you all an update and tell you how much it rocks being a crossdresser! I am having so much fun with this new found confidence! I hope I never turn back!
Now I just have to stop having so much fun shopping before it breaks my bank account which it is already dangerously close to doing!
Love you ladies!
Paula
(once again I apologize for the length)