Confusion What Am I? Can I stop? (May be a bit graphically descriptive)

[Double Sided Card]

So recently a few things happened here and there which made me take a look at my crossdressing and a few questions popped in my head.

"Is crossdressing just a fetish to me?"
"Am I not really a cross dresser?"
"Why I do dress?"

I started thinking and I realized that the only reason I dress is for the sexual pleasure I get from it. The only female clothing items that I like are lingerie, however, as soon as I orgasm the clothes don't feel so great anymore and I take them off. During my analysis of why I like it I believe that mentally the lingerie was created as a part of a woman psychologically for me which is what made me enjoy it. From this I mentally tried to separate the two and started running some thoughts through my head about it. Now I do not really have a desire to dress anymore and am wondering if I should get rid of my clothing.

So what do you guys think? Will this just be another purge and I shouldn't get rid of the clothing? Do you think the desire will come again? Has anyone experienced anything like this before?

[sandra-leigh]

Put them away somewhere that is a bit of a nuisance to get at -- close enough so you can still get them if you need them, but difficult enough to make it not worth doing for an "impulse".

Then, see how you feel later.

[Jacqueline Winona]

That's a tough question for anyone to answer for you. There's nothing wrong with a fetish, and if that is all dressing is to you than at least you know. You don't have to make a decision right now, so maybe think it out for a while and see if you still feel the same way ina week or two.

[Rachel Flowers]

Many of us start that way then discover interest in other items, some only ever do the fetish part, some go straight to attempted passing.

And I'm disappointed by the lack of promised graphicness in your post, babes!

[JessHaust]

Many of us start that way then discover interest in other items, some only ever do the fetish part, some go straight to attempted passing
Agreed, I think we all were that way t some point. Its just a matter of can you put it aside, or can you get the courage to try it full blown and see how you feel?

[whowhatwhen]

So what do you guys think? Will this just be another purge and I shouldn't get rid of the clothing? Do you think the desire will come again? Has anyone experienced anything like this before?

You're in too deep now! It never goes away!
Mwhahahahah!

Yeah, I wouldn't purge; sandra-leigh's suggestion is perfect actually.

[Double Sided Card]

Well see to me it seems like crossdressing seems to be 100% fetish. The urge to dress seems to exist dependently on my sex drive. Back in my early teen years when I was discovering my sexuality I remember the first time I self pleasured was when I wore my middle school pe shorts the same way the girls did. I am wondering if the discovering of my sexuality made me link it to girls things.

[Foxglove]

My two cents' worth: I think a lot of people have been where you are now. A lot of people's feelings evolve as time goes on, so perhaps yours will, too. But I would say this: if this is what you're into, most emphatically, yes, you're a crossdresser and you always will be. It's up to you to decide where you go with it. I don't know how old you are. But I know from personal experience in my younger days what you're feeling now. I tried for the longest time (and with considerable success) to repress my CDing urges. I regret that now. I wish I had decided early on just to be what I am. I'd have been a lot happier. It's up to you to decide what you want in your life. But I can tell you that there's no reward in loading yourself down with a heavy guilt-trip if you're in any way inclined to do so.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[Shari]

Just run with your feelings and do what comes naturally.
You have a lot of company here.

[Aprilrain]

If all I had to wear was lingerie I'd be ripping it off of me after I had sex too! Lingerie is not designed for comfort. Wether CDing is a fetish for you or something more is for you to discover. A fetish is when someone needs the fetish Item in order to get off. Be it shoes or woman's feet or bananas, whatever it is sex is difficult to impossible to enjoy for the person with the fetish unless the fetish object is present. Does this sound like you? I have thrown out a dumpster full of clothes in my life, luckily it was all cheep stuff from Walmart cause I knew I would throw it out! I'll bet you 10 to 1 that if you throw the clothes out you'll buy more at some point.

[kimdl93]

Time will tell. As others have suggested, just put the clothes away and see what happens.

There's nothing wrong with being a fetish dresser, you know. It may be that you are. But you may also find that your definition changes over time. Most of us, I would venture, have associated our CDing with sexual expression at one stage of our lives or another. But as we mature, the sex drive may diverge from the desire to dress. Then, you may redefine your interest in dressing to reflect the changed reality. It really doesn't matter what you chose, so long as you're comfortable with yourself.

[*Vanessa*]

Well, let me think of ways to help you...
You asked:
"Is crossdressing just a fetish to me?"
"Am I not really a cross dresser?"
"Why I do dress?"

One of the best ways I could help you come to a conclusion would be to answer these questions back:
What size do you wear?
What fashion style do you like?
Do you live in North America?

If you can answer these questions, PM me with the answers and mailing instructions. Pending approval, I will except all your clothing and girly things for a limited time. Should you feel the need to return to dressing, well what can I say but, you will have fun shopping for new things. :)

-or-

Do as so many have before you, throw them all in the dumpster and see how you feel in a few weeks.

:)

To some how cross-dress, it is a constant struggle to answer these questions - good luck and peace to you.

[Karren H]

Personally I think you should purge!! And as luck would have it I have room in my closet!! What size do you wear btw? Lol.

[Wonderwho]

Sometimes I find hat sex while CD is wonderfull, there are times when it feels wrong.
All I know is I always return to the person that I am inside.
Besides there are some really fine night gowns. And if I am carefull my SO will be very recpeptive.

[LilSissyStevie]

Perhaps this is a chicken and egg question. Does wearing lingerie turn you on or does being turned on cause you to want to wear lingerie? In my case, from puberty I could only imagine myself in the female role during sex so I crossdressed because looking like a girl was as close as I was going to get to being the real thing. On the other hand, just wearing women's clothing does nothing for me one way or the other. Now that I realize why I crossdress, I feel no compelling "need" to do it. But it's still fun, so why not?

[Gillian Gigs]

I say that you should put the clothing away for awhile, and not purge. Do your best to answer the questions that you are asking yourself, and by the way, good luck. If you are anything like most of the rest of us, the desire will come back. Many of us on this site started out just like you and over the years "transitioned" into the state that we are in now with no sexual side to it. Or maybe just a little bit. The only problem that I ever saw with fetishes, is that you can get yourself to the point that you depend on it and can't "get it" without having the fetish present. I am a proponent of doing things in moderation. You just have to find your level of moderation.

[lisal]

I kept the economy going with my purging, but accepted CD as part of who I am, and now am enjoying my life, and I have also saved money.

[busker]

I started thinking and I realized that the only reason I dress is for the sexual pleasure I get from it. The only female clothing items that I like are lingerie, however, as soon as I orgasm the clothes don't feel so great anymore and I take them off

"Is crossdressing just a fetish to me?"


I would say --sort of--. you have just substituted a pair of panties for a magazine. Lots of kids find dad's playboy, get on with it, and toss the mag. You are just doing the same thing. You won't need to see a shrink, because you have answered your own question. Yes, it's a fetish--for now-- but you can very likely substitute something else for a stimulus, or just decide to use your imagination for a stimulus and save yourself some money, heartache, and probably a lot of problems down the road with a girlfriend or wife trying to explain why your need a pair of underwear to get off. You are in control of your situation. As Sandra-Leigh notes, put your stuff far enough a way that it would be INCONVENIENT to get to. Put a sign on it saying "Hands Off". You understand very well what it is you do!

[Barbara Ella]

Regardless of the purpose of wearing women's clothes, you are a cross dresser. And the reasons for dressing will most likely change over time, so go with it. Your reaction to putting clothes away after orgasms is purely chemical. After orgasm, the chemicals that want sexual release are not being produced, so you dont want it anymore. It is not that you dont need it. It is not that you built up a a psychological woman. It is body hormones released during arousal that trigger sexual needs, and that are no longer there after orgasm, no matter how much you want them. you just can't have them, and you cant have the fantasy that went with them, so you begin to wonder whether it is all fantasy. No, it is not psychological. dont beat yourself up.

Believe me, you need cross dressing. Just dont put so much importance on the reason. As long as it feels right and you have fun, keep doing it. If you no longer are having fun, stop. Just dont over think that there is a serious psychological reason for it. above all don't purge, and ignore Karren's plea for clothing

Babes

[Vickie_CDTV]

Don't throw your things away, the urge will probably return in time. For some it ebbs and flows, and there are many posts on this forum about it.
There is nothing wrong with being a fetish or pleasure dresser, don't feel pressured to go further than you want to go.

[Elara]

Better than "what am I?" would be "who am I?" You are not a thing, but a human being.

[sterling12]

And you could go on just like that for years. I know I did! And it waxed and wained, sometimes being put aside for months. And, then came middle age! Suddenly Joanie says: "Let me out of this box you put me in." "Hello, I'm your other persona, and I demand equal time."

Well, I know it's different for each person, but I decided that we would form a partnership, that femme side of me and my male-self. It seems to have worked out....very well indeed!

Your experience might be different, but don't be surprised if it does change. "Time changes all things." Never kid yourself that you will not continue to evolve.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[pantyhoselover]

As others have said, your fetish is probably how many of us got started. After that, the road you take runs the full spectrum from fetishism to full transition. What fascinates me is how and why this full spectrum occurs. Why does a simple fetish develop into something much more for many of us?
And I would agree with those that have stated that the urge can be temporarily surpressed but will always surface again. If money isn't an issue, then feel free to purge and help the economy :). Otherwise hang on to your stash.

[Frédérique]

I realized that the only reason I dress is for the sexual pleasure I get from it.

Then don’t stop dressing! Sex is very important - my ex-girlfriend told me that, and I tend to agree with her. In my way of thinking, you can’t remove the beloved clothing (i.e. purge) and ever be happy, so why do it? On the other hand, if you DID purge, you would soon miss your favorite things, and you’d have to start all over again. Enjoy the sex, and don’t feel the least bit guilty about it – you’re not going to be alive forever, you know, so do what you can while you can. I’d hate to live in a world where you couldn’t pleasure yourself now and then, no matter what your idea of “pleasure” may entail…

PS – I LOVE posting in these threads where half of the responses can’t be seen (by me)! :heehee:

[Wonderwho]

There are days where I think that dressing is not the best idea. Half way to work I crave the comfort
that dressing gives me. It is still a sexual feeling that makes me need to dress. Now that I came out to my SO
I wear something sexey everday and the sexual frustation has gone away. Be carefull of falling into
the frustrated purge state of mind. When you cant live because the person you want to be is in a box in the closet
you will find that the world can be very scary. I say this only because of all the life I missed, the box is in a dresser
now and the world is reall a wonderfull place. Love to all who make this site available to all of us. Wonderwho

[STACY B]

So recently a few things happened here and there which made me take a look at my crossdressing and a few questions popped in my head.

"Is crossdressing just a fetish to me?"
"Am I not really a cross dresser?"
"Why I do dress?"

I started thinking and I realized that the only reason I dress is for the sexual pleasure I get from it. The only female clothing items that I like are lingerie, however, as soon as I orgasm the clothes don't feel so great anymore and I take them off. During my analysis of why I like it I believe that mentally the lingerie was created as a part of a woman psychologically for me which is what made me enjoy it. From this I mentally tried to separate the two and started running some thoughts through my head about it. Now I do not really have a desire to dress anymore and am wondering if I should get rid of my clothing.

So what do you guys think? Will this just be another purge and I shouldn't get rid of the clothing? Do you think the desire will come again? Has anyone experienced anything like this before?

HELL ------- NO !!!! Just dont where um right now . Put em up for later ,, Alot of people do that including me , If you were restoring a boat or old car and did'nt want to work on it now you dont chunk it ,, Just cover it up till ya feel like messing with it again . It just meens your CD not TG ,, Thats all . A wanna be ,, Not a hafta be .

[docrobbysherry]

Why throw them out, Double? Why not just stick 'em in a bag in the garage for the time being? If u think about them, they're there! If u forget about and find them when u move in a few years, THEN toss 'em out!

Trying to figure out what u r or what to call yourself is POINTLESS, in my experience!
Many folks start dressing for sexual reasons and over time their motivation changes. Your's will, too. We just don't know how or in what direction u will go!

I started dressing late in life about 15 years ago. With one single fem item. It ramped up over the years, as u can see from my avatar. Nearly EVER SINGLE DRESSING SESSION since I began has had a "happy ending"! (I keep waiting for MY dressing direction to change!)
You're FAR from unique in your sexual taste and activity!