Progress

[Sandra]

Last week we had a visit to Leeds GIC, to see Gary the clinical nurse for a catch up as Nigella has now been on hormones for a year and the endo is happy, and has passed her over to the prescribing pharmacist who deals with transgendered patients, and we also wanted to get information on surgery etc.

The next step is for Nigella to see the gender physiatrist Mr Beanie, who she saw when she first went to Leeds. He will give initial assessment on whether Nigella is ready for surgery, then if he thinks she is we then have to have a second opinion, this is standard practise in the UK. If the second opinion agrees with Mr Beanie then an appointment is then made with the surgeon.

We have been given two choices of surgeons, one is not too far from us the other is around 300 miles away in Brighton :doh: We don’t yet know whether our PCT who funds this will pay for me to stay in a hotel/B&B nearby while she has the surgery, if they don’t then we will have to go for the one nearer to us, which is still an 1 ½ hours away, but I would find a B&B and stay over night for a couple of nights then come home. If we do get to use the one in Brighton there is the trip back, travelling 300 miles after surgery is going to be a bit uncomfortable. Nigella has said she will need me at home when she gets home, so instead of taking time of work to stay while she is in hospital I take the time off later. Charing Cross is out of the question as they are only taking people from their catchment area, plus the waiting list is longer.

Hair removal, we don’t know if the PCT will fund this, they won’t fund facial hair removal as it is classed as cosmetic, but will fund if it is classed as medical, which Gary said this is medical. Some PCT’s who do fund, won’t grant funds unless the patient has already seen the surgeon and he says yes hair removal is needed. So what Gray has said is that if they do fund but won’t grant until she seen the surgeon, then Gary will ask for an early appointment, to set the wheels in motion and get electrolysis under way. :) There is only 2 places in the UK that are registered with the CQC to do genital hair removal, so not much of a choice, one is about an hour away the other again miles away. The thing is there is others who aren't registered who can do this, but well I wouldn't let anyone who wasn't registered near my genital area with an electrolysis machine :eek:

Next fully functioning vagina or cosmetic. Of course a lot of this depends on what the surgeon has to work with, if there is not enough to work with to do a fully functioning then it will have to be cosmetic. Nigella has said she is not bothered about fully functioning, and after chatting about this more she has said she is not bothered then that way if she can’t have a fully functioning for what ever reason she won’t be disappointed.

[Kristy_K]

That sounds like it is easier than the US way of doing things.

Good luck,
Kristy

[Rianna Humble]

Glad to hear you two are making such good progress. If you do choose Brighton, please let me know and I will see if I can help you to find somewhere to stay.

At one time there were flights from Gatwick but it seems that there aren't any now :sad:

[Nigella]

I can't remember off hand who the surgeons were, but I assume that you are going to Nottingham GIS? It could be that your service only use the two, will let you know though who the surgeons were when I get written confirmation.

So much to take in on the visit last time that its a good job we get written confirmation of the session.

[Sandra]

One was Mr Thomas, the other I can't remember just that operates near Wakefield.

[Nigella]

Got the names of three surgeons, two down south of the uk, Brighton (Mr Phil Thomas), London (Mr James Bellringer) and one up north, Wakefield (Mr Oliver Fenton).

All things considered, it looks like Wakefield is the most likely venue, but still have time to research as my first medical opinion is not likely to happen for at least a month.

Any information on these three would be most welcome.

[Sandra]

We have the first assessment appointment 25th April :D

[Rianna Humble]

That month will fly by. I'm so happy for you.

BTW, did you respond to the government consultation on same-sex marriage?

[Nigella]

You know Rianna, as much as this is important to me, I haven't. :(

We have researched as best we can and we can't find any information on Mr Fenton, so its looking more likely to be Mr Thomas in Brighton.

Edit

Now I have, must remember to ask Sandra to have her say :)

[Sandra]

Thank you Rianna :hugs:

I have been and responded too.

[Sandra1746]

Sandra and Nigella,
I wish you both the best of luck and a speedy recovery for Nigella.

Love,
Sandra1746

[Sandra]

Well tomorrow is the first assessment appointment, to see if surgery is on the books. We was told by the clinical nurse who will also be present, that he didn't see there being any problems.

A bit nervous and excited all at once. :)

[Rianna Humble]

Great news Sandra. I'm sure there won't be any need for nerves :hugs:, but I can understand them.

Do let us know how it goes, please.

[Sandra]

Thanks Rianna :hugs:

Well what a morning, got ourselves up and ready and set off to Leeds. Parked the car and then walked to the clinic sat down and went to turn our phones off, "Oh I've got 2 messages says Nigella" Listens to them and it is Gary the clinical nurse saying that the Dr we should have been seeing has rung in sick :( but we can still see him if we want, and that another appointment has been made for next week with the Dr. Well seeing as we were there we decided to have a chat with Gary, just to get a bit more info. So a bit of a wasted journey, but at least we don't have to wait ages for the next appointment.:D

[JulieFromYork]

Rats ...

I was due to be there today (Dr Beani - for a GRC Letter) but apparently he went off sick ... which is fine cos its all been re-organized, but it just occurred to me that we might have met.

And now we didnt ...Drat :doh:

Maybe another time (and good luck for the rescheduled Appt)

J

[Sandra]

Leeds tomorrow has been cancelled again :(

[Rianna Humble]

I am so sorry to read that. It is so unfair.

[Sandra]

These things happen, Nigella had a letter today saying that they were sorry and an alternative appointment would be sent out.

[Sandra]

Well we was at Leeds last Friday for a hormone check up, and saw Caroline the prescribing pharmacist, Nigella doesn't have to see the endo now as things are stable. Everything was ok but as usual BP was sky high. Nigella is on meds for BP and each time she has her BP checked at the Drs it's fine, go to Leeds and well it goes through the roof, they have all decided that it is the "white coat syndrome" it really is weird.

Bloods test results, well those that our Drs deemed to take. A letter is sent from Leeds listing all the tests that are needed and also these tests are on Nigella's record at the Dr. Each time we have been to Leeds there has been some of the tests missing, last time we went the main ones being testosterone and estrogen , hadn't even been done anyway I digress. This lot of results which again weren't complete but did have testosterone and estrogen showed that estrogen has gone down from 135 to 95. We asked why this had happened and was told it could be that we need to increase the dose and also with Nigella using patches it only needs it to wrinkle a little and the full patch not being completely on the skin, and she's not getting the full dose, so Caroline has increased the dose. Nigella isn't taking anything to block the testosterone, as she has always had a low level and with the estrogen increasing the testosterone goes down, plus she would have had to had injections as she couldn't take the tablets because of her BP meds, so I was surprised with the estrogen going down I thought the other would go back up but it didn't that too has dropped. Next appointment to see Caroline is 17th August.

We found out that Dr Beanie is back at work but is on holiday next week and the week after he is in London for the week, hopefully we will get an appointment to see him soon for her first referral for surgery.

[Sandra]

Yay 3rd time lucky

June 19th next appointment Dr Beanie :D

[Rianna Humble]

I'll keep my virtual fingers crossed - might make too many typos at work if I keep the physical ones crossed for 3 weeks :heehee:

[Sandra]

Thank you Rianna :)...............

[Sandra]

Well Tuesday is nearly here :) Nigella's first appointment for referral for surgery. I have been to all of the appointments with her, since she has started going to Leeds last year, after all we are travelling this path together. Unfortunately this time I won't be able to go with her, got to have two wisdom teeth out :cry: it's going to seem really strange not going with her. After this appointment we then have to attend for a second opinion, this will most likely be at Sheffield, hopefully we won't have to wait to long for the second appointment.

[Nigella]

Today was the first day that I visited the GIC on my own, Sandra was unable to go with me :sad: It was strange as we have completed everything together but I came away a :) teddy.

During my meeting with the psychiatrist and clinical specialist we discussed where I would like to go for my second opinion (sheffield) and who I would like to do the surgery (Mr Thomas in Brighton)

After the inital question, do you want to proceed with surgery?, which I responded yes, without any hesitation, there was some discussion on the types of surgery, how a second opinion is obtained and the potential problems, I was told that this meeting has completed the next two phases, the second opinion referral and confirmation of surgeon preferences.

The next step, well that is wait for my GIC to refer me to Sheffield GIC, them to confirm an appointment, confirmation of referral for surgery, referral to Mr Thomas.

Time span, around 3 months, but compared to the time it has taken me to get here, just a blink of an eye.

General indications are that by the end of 2012 the bits will be gone or at the worst a date set for them to go. :D

[Rianna Humble]

That's brilliant news. Let me know when you are due in Brighton so I can be careful not to give you nightmares :heehee:

[Sandra]

lol Rianna.

I was sorry that I couldn't be there with Nigella, like she has said we have done everything together, hopefully the next appointment I will be able to go to, and as for going to Brighton I certainly will be there with her when she sees the surgeon and also when she has surgery.

[Nigella]

Rianna, do you want some guests? LoL

Would love to meet up sometime when we are down that area. Will let you know when.

[Sharon]

This is wonderful news, Nigella! "Bit-free in '12" has a ring to it and I hope it comes to pass as you plan. :)

[Sandra]

"Bit-free in '12"

Sounds like the name of a socket set to me :straightface:

[Julia_in_Pa]

The Dorset Gardens Methodist Church is weeping in your absence.

[Sandra]

Time span, around 3 months,


Has time stopped it seems ages since you posted this.....:waiting:

[Sandra]

Well still no appointment but Nigella has had letter from Sheffield saying that she is on the waiting list.

Was at Leeds today for 3 month hormone check up, levels are doing nicely and has now gone to 6 monthly appointments, with a bloods done at 3 months and sent to the clinic to make sure everything is going ok.

[Sandra]

At last 2nd referral November 12th :D

[StephanieC]

Wow. This sounds like a journey with many interim stops. You guys have incredible patience.

[giuseppina]

Hello Nigella and Sandra

Congratulations on your progress.

Being across the pond in Canada, I have no opinion or knowledge of the candidate surgeons or anyone else involved in Nigella's transition. That said, you want a surgeon who has done a lot of these procedures with a low complication rate including but not limited to postoperative infection, haemorrhage (medical term for bleeding), and loss of sensual (a loaded term if there was one) feeling at the surgical site. That will maximise the probability of good if not excellent results. I come from a family with four medical doctor members, one of whom was a plastic surgeon and Chief of Surgery at the Toronto General Hospital when he retired.

This generalises to all elective surgical procedures, especially those that carry a high risk of death like open-heart surgery. There usually isn't any choice with emergency surgery.

[Sandra]

Well Wednesday night we went to a meeting that we'd been invited to for a meet and greet, with a surgeon who has come back into doing GRS in the North of the country. The night didn't start off to well, we spent over half an hour trying to find parking then ended up paying £6.50 for just over 2 hours :eek: bloody day light robbery...and then there was coming home, took a wrong turn and the sat nav sent us all round the houses to the junction we needed only to find it was closed off for road works , so then it was a diversion which added about 3/4 of an hour to our time.

Anyways the meeting was very interesting, the surgeon told us a bit about himself, how long he's been back in doing grs which has been about 18 months and in that time he's done around 10 operations.

He answered a lot of questions and there was no hesitation when he was answering. He also told us that it was the gender clinic that had asked him if he would come back into doing grs as there is no one else in this half of the country. So the clinic must have some faith in him.


If everything is ok after a consultation then the waiting time for surgery is about 3 months.


It looks we are going to go with this surgeon, he was very forth coming with anything that was asked and spoke in lay-mans terms for us all to understand, and of course there is the distance from us and the cost of travelling.

Next stop the 2nd referral in November, which has now been put back a week to the 19th.

[Rianna Humble]

I'm sorry to read all the transport/parking frustrations but glad that this seems to be moving forward for you.

Each time I get frustrated by a delay, I remember something my manager said to cheer me up when I got depressed by the time to my first GIC appointment and she reminded me "It's already been 54 years coming but at least you have a date now".

Let's hope that the stone this one is set in turns out to be more solid than the last date :hugs:

[Kirsty_D]

"It's already been xx years coming but at least you have a date now".




Rianna, we all know that feeling… :)




Good luck Nigella and Sandra, it seems like a very convoluted process with the NHS. 25 years ago when I first tried to transition it seemed so much easier, just I wasn't ready :(

[Nigella]

If you are interested

Today was Step 2 of 3. 5 months after my first opinon for surgery, the 2nd opinion was completed today. It was a case of repeating all that had been said before, the Dr I saw said she was working blind, no case notes from Leeds. So my life history was told again, not that it really makes interesting reading. We discussed the pitfalls of GRS, medical and mental history. After about an hour she said she had all that she needed and finally asked if we had any questions.

The only one on my mind was would she support the previous diagnosis and support referal for surgery. She went on to explain that it would take a little time to process the paperwork, putting her notes into some sort of order, getting them typed, retyped and then sent to Leeds, but her response to my question was...





YES, at this point I think my emotions broke through and I wept.

I have already contacted the surgeon I would like referring to and asked for an indication of any prerequisites to surgery so I can start things before getting my first consultation.

Time span, who knows but TBH, it is not an issue, it will happen and I can wait.

[Rianna Humble]

That is so good, I'm really pleased for you Nigella!!

[Babeba]

Yay! I'm doing a little happy dance for you both right now!!!!!!!

[Sandra]

Yep we're now out of limbo land and can look forward.

[Kathryn Martin]

This is really good news!

[Jorja]

Great news! Now start exercising and getting yourself ready for the surgery if you haven't been doing that already. ;)

[angpai30]

Congratulations Sandra and Nigella!! I hope everything works out well for you!!

Angela

[morgan51]

Congratulations.... Nigella ,and Sandra too! I wish you well and a speedy recovery! You are very patient people.

[Sandra]

Leeds have finally got the 2nd review through and have sent a request to the surgeon. Hair removal on genital area started, by using home electrolysis, not a brilliant way but at least it gives us a start and trying to keep the cost down, until we have conformation from the surgeon, then the cost of hair removal will be covered by the PCT.

[Rianna Humble]

Woo Hoo! You'll soon be on your way!

And if the MPs can get their acts together (a long stretch I know), you may be able to achieve another milestone afterwards and stay married.

I know that Nigella will agree with me that she has a blooming wonderful wife!

[Sandra]

*DRUM ROLL*

Letter popped through the letter box this morning for Nigella. Appointment made to see Mr Fenton consultant on.........................


18th February :yahoo:

[Marleena]

Yay! Congrats to you both!:)

[Rianna Humble]

Less than one month away! Wey hey!

[Vanessa Amber420]

I am so happy for you Nigella.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Congratulations!!

Good luck and good health to you!!!

[Sandra]

Been to Leeds Gender Clinic with Nigella today. E level has dropped so she has had an increase in the dosage and back in 6 months, with 3 month bloods done to check to see how things are going.

Next big step is Monday the 18th, first appointment with the consultant to discuss surgery.

[Sandra]

Appointment with the consultant went very well yesterday :) Had all the genital hair removal been done then Nigella would be having surgery in 2 months. We started the removal with a home kit but as many will know they are ok but not the best of things, so now we just have to wait for the surgeon to do his report and send a copy to the gender clinic, they will then contact the salon for hair removal to confirm that we don't have to pay as it is being funded through the PCT as it is a requirement for surgery. When we get to know how long the hair removal will take we just have to ring the hospital and book and date for surgery. :D

[Sandra]

Well lets see what I can bore you all with today

4,460 views of this thread 55 replies 23 of which are my own.

Well either our road of transitioning is so boring for most of you or you just aren't interested, or maybe it's both. I guess I don't warrant any support from anyone, never mind in a few months it will be over and Nigella will be complete, and then I'll keep out of your little section.

Oh and yes I have bothered to reply to threads/posts in here just to have them ignored then seen a similar reply made by someone else and replied to, guess I don't fit in with the group!

[Raychel]

Sounds like you are on the right road to happiness for Nigella.

I hope all works out well for you

[Serana]

Well lets see what I can bore you all with today

4,460 views of this thread 55 replies 23 of which are my own.

Well either our road of transitioning is so boring for most of you or you just aren't interested, or maybe it's both. I guess I don't warrant any support from anyone, never mind in a few months it will be over and Nigella will be complete, and then I'll keep out of your little section.

Oh and yes I have bothered to reply to threads/posts in here just to have them ignored then seen a similar reply made by someone else and replied to, guess I don't fit in with the group!


I don't think it's that your transition is boring; in fact, I took the chance to read it all a couple days ago. But as a mainly "update on life" thread, I feel perhaps there's not much many of us can say besides "hope all is going well" and such. Though I do understand what you mean.

Though looking at your post count, of just about 21.2k I'm -sure- you've had a fair few replies replied to every now and then. ;D

From what I've seen of Nigella's journey, it certainly has been a touch one, and the issues with Dr. Beani moving his appointments around; I also had that issue. XD It was bloody frustrating.

I'm hoping that soon you can get all of the things you need to do out of the way, and that the NHS doesn't string you along for months and months also. It would annoy the hell out of me if that happened, which it has here and there.

I must say some of the things I can relate to, but it sounds to me you and Nigella have handled everything wonderfully, and any issues that could have come up you've dealt with. You make a great team!

It's an interesting nonetheless though. You've had lots of good fortune smiling on you throughout the journey, and I can only hope that good fortune continues to follow you until the end of it and afterwards.

A rather nice thing to know that others are doing well.

I'd also suspect few replies because of the fact that there's no advice to give! XD You've handled everything so well, after all. :)


Sera

[Tamara Croft]

Must be that little clique going on... so much for other TS's supporting and encouraging others...

[Sandra]

Thank you to those that replied and those who have sent me a pm.


but threads along the lines of "OMG! New Panties!!" get a hundred comments an hour.

Yep makes me wonder :)

[darla_g]

Good luck to both of you with everything.

[Sandra]

Been to the salon today to discuss hair removal. It can take from 6 months to a year depending on how much hair there is. Salon is going to write to Leeds to get conformation of funding, which we have had to today so we know that funding is there. Appointments will be every week. The lady that we saw today said that Leeds were very quick to reply and hopefully they would be contacting Nigella next week to arrange the first session, so now we wait for the salon to contact us.

[Sandra]

Yes he has and the salon used is one that does these treatments for gender patients in this area who are PCT funded. Like I have said though she did say 6 months to a year, more will be known when the treatment starts.

[Sandra]

Deborah

We did know about the hair removal but had to wait to see the surgeon and for him to write to Leeds confirming that it needed to be done for the PCT to fund it. If we had the funds ourselves then we would have started it so that Nigella was set to go so to speak.

[Sandra]

First hair removal session today, didn't hear any screams :lol: went well, just a pain to have to make a 100 mile round trip every week.

[Jorja]

One down 99,000 to go. The screams don't come until later! ;)

[LeaP]

Wow – No one closer than 50 miles away? Do you live way out in a rural area or is this a matter of which salon is permissible?

[Nigella]

Lea, There is one within 20 mile but, the funding is via the NHS which means that only a clinic certified and registered with a regulatory body can be used.

[Marleena]

First hair removal session today, didn't hear any screams :lol: went well, just a pain to have to make a 100 mile round trip every week.

Lol.. You made me smile with that one! Long ways to travel but it'll be worth it.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I am curious (don't worry it is a professional curiosity), do they do a complete, full clearance of the genital area each visit, or just for a certain fixed amount of time (1 or 2 hours each visit etc.?)

[groove67]

congrads, very happy for you.

[Nigella]

Deborah & Vickie

I will have a 15 minute appointment each week for about 6 months, depending on how well the electrolosis works. Will check to see if I can get a couple of appointments to run together. They only do a small part each time, I guess it is because of where its being done.

[Sandra]

Well just a short update I know you love them so much :p

Ok couple of weeks ago the lady at the salon asked Nigella is she could get a pic from the hospital to confirm as to just where the hair needs to be removed from, apparently they have had this done before. The hospital replied via e-mail saying what area was needed, this was forwarded to the salon. No session last week back today and she asked how much longer the hair removal would take, was told around 6 weeks if no extra is required. Nigella is going to contact the hospital, a) to confirm hair removal is in the right area and b) to book a date for surgery. :D

[Marleena]

Looks for the like button,:) It sure is a slow process though.

[Sandra]

It is slow but like Nigella has said she's waited all these years. Plus another 6 weeks is a lot less time than she was first told, that was 6 months to a year, and the waiting time for surgery is about 2 months.

[Sandra]

:) :) :) :) ...............

[Sandra]

If I tell you then I shall have to seriously moderate you :D :D :D :D

[Rianna Humble]

You could tell me, I've already been super moderated :heehee:

[Sandra]

Hair removal is going very well...counting the days!

[Sandra]

Oh some people are petty!!

Now back to business :D


:waiting::sigh::waiting:

Time is going sooooooo slow.

[Sandra]

Times a ticking :D

[Sandra]

Dum-de-dum-de-dum.

[Sandra]

Ok serious news, which we have known for a while and some people on here have known for couple of weeks.

Nigella will be having her surgery on the 8th of August :D Pre-assessment for surgery was done yesterday all the usual, bloods taken, ECG done, swabs for MRSA. She will be admitted 8:30am on the 8th and surgery will be around 1 pm. She was given 4 sachets to mix up and then sit on the loo for a few hours this is on the 7th, then nil by mouth from midnight.

I will be there when she gets back from the surgery and I also have a good friend who is going to stay with me while Nigella is in surgery. So it's all happening :)

[Billiebluenose1878 GG]

Good luck to Nigella and yourself .. from Nikki and myself ... love n hugs xxxx :)

[StephanieC]

Wow. We finally come to the high point of the story.

I do hope things go well, with a quick recovery.

The best to you both

[Di]

You both know how happy Sher and I are for you two :love:
Just around the corner hon:hugs:

[Sandra]

Thank you ladies :) At times it seemed to be going so slow but now as Di has said just round the corner.

[toniloraine]

Finally hope everything goes well

[Sandra]

Well the nerves are beginning to show and she's admitted that she is getting nervous which is natural, if she told me she wasn't then I would have said she was lying. We've got most of the things we need for the stay in hospital, going to go through everything and get any last minutes things.

Me yep I'm nervous not about what is happening but more about having surgery, I would be the same if she was having minor surgery. I have good people around me both in home life and work mates who are being really good and of course I have some people on here, mainly the GGs in FAB :D all of them have supported me tremendously and for that I am very grateful.

[Marleena]

Oh it's getting close! I know I'd be a nervous wreck but it is exciting at the same time.:) Time for :hugs: for both of you.

[Sandra]

Thanks for the :hugs: Marleena

Well a week today and the op will be over.....for now we are just in limbo land and it's beginning to tell on both of us, but we'll get through it.

[Jorja]

Relax you two! After all this time you can do a week standing on your heads. It will be here and gone before you know it.

[Sandra]

Yeah we know, as for standing on heads to much blood rush :lol:

[Sandra]

Ok I'm beginning to feel the strain now and Nigella knows this (sorry hun ) What hasn't helped is my hormones have gone haywire, going through the menopause is no fun. Quite tearful for no apparent reason except that the build up is getting to me and I'm trying to be strong for both of us...anyway not long now!

[Rianna Humble]

The big day is nearly upon both of you and it is understandable that this is proving an immense strain.

One thing does not change that is your love for one another and that will see you through.

I just wish it was not so far to reach from Brighton to where you are "Oop North" so that I could give each of you the :bighug: that you deserve.

[Trisha65]

Congratulations. I can't wait until I get to the SRS stage. It will be the completion of Trisha. Fortunately I have already completed the hair removal step. It took a lot of time and it was not overly fun but worth it in the end.

[Marleena]

Hang in there Sandra, Nigella will need you during this transition and it is scary. I'm not sure what to say but here's a hug for both of you.:hugs:

[Sandra]

Ok tomorrow we have both got the day off work going to try and keep busy, few household chores to be done then going to go into town to do a bit of shopping. Then a lazy afternoon before Nigella has to take her lovely drink :D and spend most of the evening in the bathroom. An early night should be in order as we have to be off by 7am on Thursday, but I doubt we will sleep much.

[Rianna Humble]

Both of you, enjoy the shopping, and Nigella enjoy your time on the throne - it's in a good cause.

[MysticLady]

Good Luck Sandra and Nigella. I wish you both the best and are in my thoughts. Sandra, I keep looking at your avatar and I just want too hug you.:hugs:

[Angela Campbell]

Wow...the tension is building! Keep up with the news! We need to know!

[Di]

As we are finally down to mere hours away .:hugs:

A
journey
in love
began
the day
you met
together you show
This world what love's about.


Sending much love to you both:love::love:

[DAVIDA]

Hi Sandra and Nigella!
I hope that everything goes fast and easy for you both.:thumbsup:
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.:hugs::hugs:

[Amy A]

Best wishes to you both, you'll be on the other side of it before you know it :)

Amy x

[Sandra]

Well I can honestly say this has been the longest day of my life. Nigella went down for surgery earlier which was good she went down around 11:20 and got back into her room around 5ish. She was of course very drowsy and not with it. She said she wasn't in any pain (she has an epidural in ) but her shoulders ached. I really could have sobbed when she said this though " my knickers will fit properly now" :cry: then she wanted the remote for the TV lol. I left her very sleepy and got home about and hour an ago, had something to eat made phone calls, going to have an hour then think it will be bedtime for me.

[Di]

:hugs:Been checking in to hear news......get some rest hon:hugs:

[Marleena]

Sandra I'm glad everything went well for Nigella. Time for both of you to get some rest.:hugs: Hoping for a speedy recovery for Nigella.:)

[MysticLady]

I really could have sobbed when she said this though " my knickers will fit properly now" :cry: then she wanted the remote for the TV lol.

Sandra, you are a very strong woman. Your Love is real and fierce. You have shown us what real Love is. Thank You for being a part of this community. You are an inspiration to all women experiencing this w/ their mates.

[Sandra]

Been to see her today, she's not to bad fairly comfy except of back ache, which is understandable seeing as she is nearly laid flat and cannot move much. Been eating a little and drinking plenty, though food has been soup and jelly for lunch and soup and egg custard for tea, she was saying that it's hard to eat being nearly flat, drinks are through a straw and soup is in a beaker. Intravenous fluids finished but she has to keep drinking plenty, she also had a dose of antibiotics via drip while I was there, apparently that's just part of the course. She don't remember anything about yesterday. Kept having a doze while I was there and saying sorry for it lol.

Going to see her tomorrow, but not on Sunday having a 100 mile round trip and working is tiring me, and I need a day to recharge and catch up with some stuff at home but she is worth it and more.

[Sandra]

Well just an update I'm sure you all want to know how Nigella is doing....what's that no you don't well tough I'm gonna post :P

She is on painkillers that as not long after she's had them they make her sleepy. She has had some of the padding removed and they have had her out of bed a few days early, she's been sitting out for a couple of hours but she said it's so tiring. She is also very uncomfortable and with her not eating a lot she is full of wind, and also she has a compression garment on it's like a big pair of knickers that come higher than her waist, she is now sat up more in bed and the back ache has gone. Today the packing and the catheter are supposed to be coming out, then the next step is going to the loo for herself, I hope her aim is ok.

I would like to thank those who have taken the time to pm me :hugs:

[Trisha65]

Glad all is going well for Nigella. Please wish her well. Thanks for the updates and please keep them coming.

[Tamara Croft]

What I don't understand is the lack of support for a TS MEMBER who has just undergone surgery and her wife is posting etc... and no support from TS members?? what gives??

I already know what gives and you know what, it sucks.. it absolutely blows my mind how people in this section are so adamant they are so damn supportive of all TS members, of each other etc... but not in this thread?? why not... I would like to know... I would like someone to spell it out to me either in this thread, or you can PM me... not impressed!

Sandra, you know where I am if you need anything etc... love ya chick xx :hugs:

[Jorja]

Sorry I am not as perfect as Tamara seems to be. It is not like I have anything else important to do like run 2 businesses and have my own set of problems to figure out daily. Forgive me if I occasionally forget to get back to this thread on a regular basis.

Now that the packing and padding have come off, she will start to feel a bit more comfortable. Hopefully, as she feels better they can start to reduce the painkillers. That will help a lot. As she feels better she should start to eat a little bit too. Hang in there girls, it's going to take a few days to get straightened out again.

[Angela Campbell]

5 pages and 114 posts........looks like support to me. You know we all are wishing for the best and we ALL support Both of them.

[Rianna Humble]

Today the packing and the catheter are supposed to be coming out, then the next step is going to the loo for herself, I hope her aim is ok.

I think you are extracting the proverbial urine with that comment :heehee:

I'm really glad it is all going well, just tell her to watch the steps to the loo - you don't want her going in head first :eek:

As always, give her a :bighug: from me and remind her how fortunate it is for her I can't come to visit - we wouldn't want her having nightmares!!

[gonegirl]

Dear S & N, (hmm, those are also the initials of my SO and me...),

I'm blown away by you both. What I mean is, the level of support, love, and respect you have for each other is so precious and so very rare. Then if one considers the minor complication of one of you being born with completely the wrong body parts, well, we are all envious because your long term love affair is about as rare as hens teeth (or t*ts on a bull, which is probably more appropriate in this situation ;-). You have something incredibly special and you are obviously making the most of it! :-).

Oh, I almost forgot to ask: Did someone have an operation or something???

:) just kidding! I was only taking the pi...., oops, I mean, oh never mind.

Sending you both loving thoughts and wishes from California. Have a speedy recovery Nigella and remember, that girl of your's - Sandra, she's a keeper. :love:

Love,
Simone.

[LeaP]

:yt:

Rare doesn't begin to describe it.

[Sandra]

.......and she's home :D will add more tomorrow.

[Marleena]

Oh nice!!:)

[Barbara Ella]

Sandra, i am so glad she has come through this and is recovering well. Best wishes for the both of you.

Barbara

[Tamara Croft]

5 pages and 114 posts........
77 of those posts are from the staff, including Sandra and Nigella... now that speaks volumes!

Anyway, I made my point and judging by the few PM's I got, which were good PM's I think it was worth getting my knickers in a twist. You see, Sandra is like a sister to me and Nigella is like my younger brat sister (although she's older lol)... they mean the world to me. And when I see a member not getting that much support, which Sandra really should have had the last few days in here, it makes me mad. Yes Nigella is staff, she's a mean old bint as well... but she's also gone through the biggest thing in her life and needs support, even if it's just a hug... :)

[GaleWarning]

Sometimes, it's better to love, than it is to be loved.

Sorry I have been remiss, Tamara.

Sandra and Nigella, I wish you all the very best that life has to offer in the years to come. May blessings and love and good health attend you.

Gale

[TeresaL]

Hey, I'm here for you, and am greatly impressed with you two as a team! I've always thought the utmost of how you have stuck with each other and continue to do so, with no indication of letting up.

Get better soon Nigella, and Sandra, you are such a loving person for Nigella. She has a wonderful mate to share the rest of her life with.

Best of all, you have each other and haven't given up. I'm looking forward to the healing in next few weeks and will try not to be a lurker, but offer support in any way possible.

[stefan37]

Glad to hear you are home. Have a speedy recovery.

[Rogina B]

Hope you enjoy a speedy recovery and I find it so wonderful that you make such a great couple..So rare around these parts...

[Jorja]

So, they have already let you go home. That is good. Keep an eye out for anything that even looks like infection starting. Even if you are not sure, call your doctor at once, don't wait. Get ready for the fun part. Dilate, dilate, dilate and dilate some more.

[Sandra]

Thank you everyone who's posted and pm'd me.

Well it's been a couple of days since Nigella came home and we're settling back down. Of course she is very sore and very swollen and bruised a lot, so she's taking it easy but not being lazy, just having a gentle walk to the kitchen every hour or so, and she's also had a walk down the drive more so to get some fresh air. Now when I say walk it's more of a waddle bit like a duck :lol:

She is back to see the consultant next Friday, in the mean time we're just taking it easy.

[Rianna Humble]

WMKxnYRhk6I


There once was an ugly duckling
With feathers all stubby and brown
And the other birds said in so many words
Get out of town
Get out, get out, get out of town
And he went with a quack and a waddle and a quack
In a flurry of eiderdown


I’m not such an ugly duckling
No feathers all stubby and brown
For in fact these birds in so many words said
The best in town, the best, the best
The best in town
Not a quack, not a quack, not a waddle or a quack
But a glide and a whistle and a snowy white back
And a head so noble and high

[kimdl93]

I've been around long enough that I feel bad not keeping track of Nigella's progress. The last thread I read on the subject was pre-surgery. I'm very pleased to hear that she's home and, though swollen and sore, able to get up and move about. I hope she heals quickly and completely and wish both Sandra and Nigella the very best.

[LeaP]

That was a very nice response post, Rianna.

Sandra, the good news is that is less to heal than there used to be... :D

[Sandra]

Rianna nice one :)

Lea very true lol

Thank you Kim

[ReineD]

Sandra, I've been commenting elsewhere, but I have to say that Rianna's video is one of the most heartwarming that I ever saw. :)

[Nigella]

A very close friend sent me this link, just a few days after surgery, boy does it say it all

V6fHTyVmYp4

[MysticLady]

Hello Both of you, Sandra and Nigella. I'm glad too see The new Ms posting and feeling better. I have a feeling that you all are going to have an exceptionally clean home. (sorry, I associate that trait w/ a woman):)

BTW, Sandra, I just want too hug you. Must be that avatar again:heehee:

[MatildaJ.]

new member here, sending supportive thoughts to Sandra & Nigella. It's great to see such love and tenderness, and I look forward to many more happy posts as the recovery progresses.

[Marleena]

Ahh.. nice to see Nigella up and about and posting again! The video does sum it up. Congrats!

[LeaP]

You're back, Nigella! Congratulations!

[TeresaL]

Yea Nigella! Was the video to make us break down and cry because we project ourselves into the words?

Nonetheless, you certainly have rights to own it.


YOU ARE WOMAN!!!

[ReineD]

Congratulations, Nigella! :)

[Di]

:hugs::love::hugs::love::hugs::love:Nigella and Sandra

[Nigella]

Slight set back yesterday, a little bleeding, apparently from a stitch line. Meant a trip back to the hospital just to get it checked out. I would seem that I had been trying to do too much. Thought that it would be ok just to make myself the odd cuppa and help Sandra with some light domestic chores, doing them felt ok, but it did tire me a little. Anyway after last nights visit, I have listened and will give my body the time it needs, despite what my mind says. Body and mind have to work together :)

[bas1985]

(even if I do not speak too much I think about you often. Please take care, healing the body and the mind go together)

[Marleena]

Please slow down and take care of yourself Nigella. You need to heal now.

[MatildaJ.]

Sending healing thoughts your way, Nigella...

[Rianna Humble]

Nigella, please remember that the swan in Danny Kaye's song didn't learn to glide overnight.

[LeaP]

You know, when I get the car fixed, I always ask for the old parts back, just in case ...

Oh, never mind ...

Seriously, I hope the problem resolves quickly.

[Jorja]

Now you understand when the doctor says no this and no that, Nigella. Why are we all slow learners when it comes to this?

[Tamara Croft]

You need to take it easy, don't make me come up there and smack you! If you or Sandra need any help at all, you only got to ask and I'll come up :) xx

[Sandra]

You know, when I get the car fixed, I always ask for the old parts back, just in case ...

Oh, never mind ...



:lol: :lol:

She will do as she is told :D I know what the problem is she is worried that I am doing to much. Well yes I am worn down to nothing :p seriously I have been off work this week and have only doing what has to be done, the other day I cooked some meals off and froze them for next week as I am back at work, but fairly easy rota and can get home in between calls.

Tamara thank you :hugs:

[Sandra]

Back to the hospital today for a routine checkup, everything is ok apart from some swelling on the left hand side, got to go back next week to have it checked over again. Did well no re-occurrence of the bleed until tonight after she'd had a shower, she did say she might have been a bit rough when washing...she'll learn :) it does stop quickly when pressure is applied, and today she has done a bit more, me thinks I'm going to have to get :angry: and :kickbutt: hmmm maybe not that one lol

[GaleWarning]

Wishing both of you well during the healing process, Nigella and Sandra.

Take it easy.

[Serana]

Hope you're healing well and feeling well Nigella! I know that same pain, I was toddling around a bit too much too early and had a few issues too. When you're used to doing so much so often it's hard to calm it I suppose, we're all guilty of that~.

Hope that everything goes as smoothly as it can for you, and I'm wishing you both all the best! :)

[PretzelGirl]

Congratulations Nigella! I hope the healing is fast. I am glad to hear it is all going well.

Sandra, take care of yourself too. It has been a long road and the end was probably just as tiring as any other part. You need rest also.

[Jamie M]

Hi Nigella,

I've been gone a long while from the boards and have been trying to catch up on what I've missed. So glad for you everything's gone well and that you seem to be recovering nicely. As everyone's said just take it easy and I'm sure you'll be up and running before you know it.

Congratulations

[Nigella]

Thanks to all for your thoughts and wishes :)

Lessons have been learned and care is being taken with the healing process. Sandra has been a tremendous support throughout this journey, sharing everything, both ups and downs.

This is not the end of my transition, its not even the beginning, that started all those years ago when I finally accepted my TSness. It is a continuation of the journey, just because surgery has given me the body that nature denied me does not mean that I have finished traveling the road to womanhood. There are so many other things that need to be completed, I still require electrolysis to remove facial hair, my voice is still predominately male.

Learning to take care of the new body is something new, it is totally different to keeping things clean and tidy, and usable. Never think that just because you now have the body of a woman that you have finished, its is a continuing journey.

[Sandra]

Well things were going well until yesterday. I got in from work at 2pm and she looked awful, said she was having trouble going to the loo, got apt with nurse practitioner and she has a water infection and given antibiotics. Had a pre arranged apt for today to see dr today to get another sick note for work, dr has a peek and said there is also an infection going on more or less on one of the stitch lines, so she is on two lots of antibiotics and feeling crap, hopefully a couple of days and she'll start to feel better. We are back at the hospital tomorrow afternoon for another check up and will see what they have to say.

[DAVIDA]

I'm sorry to hear abut the set-back. Infection is always a threat and can be trouble.
Make sure she takes ALL of the antibiotics.:thumbsup:
Hopefully, things will clear up soon.
You are a great caretaker too, Sandra.:hugs:

[Di]

Very sorry to hear :hugs::hugs:
Listen to your doctors instructions to the letter ( I know you will)
My love to you both:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Jamie M]

so sorry to hear nigella's under the weather but on the plus side you both sound really clued in on the early warning signs, with any luck you've caught it early enough for a speedy recovery from this setback . also great to hear it seems like your GP team know what their looking for and being very helpful ?

wishing you both all the very best :hugs:

[Sandra]

Thanks everyone :hugs:

We had a better night and this morning she said she felt a bit better, now she's dozing on the settee. Got a trip to the hospital this afternoon so going to make sure she takes it easy during the day.

[StephanieC]

I'm glad to hear things are better.

Hoping you have a successful recovery...(best to you both)

-stephani

[Nigella]

Things are slowly improving :) Mobility is a little better, but the swelling is still preventing a comfortable walk. Still not able to do a great deal that involves lifting or stretching, but am doing little things here and there.

One thing that has surprised me is the amount of people who have shown their concern and support, especially from people who I would not have expected it from.

[Rianna Humble]

Well that lets me out then :p

Remember HCA's duckling went quite a time with his waddle and his quack before learning the glide and the whistle.

Hope you and Sandra are both taking things steady.

[Sandra]

I am back at work and I'll be honest I am a little weary and I know that Nigella gets annoyed that she can't do a lot help around the house, but she has to take it easy. She found this out last night , all she did was make pasta bake for tea and it tired her and caused some discomfort with standing up for some time, so she is now on tea and coffee duties and the odd sandwich :)

[Marleena]

That's it put your foot down Sandra!lol.

[LeaP]

A hired wheelchair and a donut pillow should solve that! And you'll be able to place your request for dinner with Nigella without concern!

[Sandra]

Appointment with the consultant tonight. Everything is going ok, still some swelling but he isn't concerned about it and said the body will absorb it. Cut away some necrotic skin and had a bit of a poke about inside....that made her eyes water :lol: we was slightly concerned about an area that was weeping, the consultant said that it was nothing to worry about it is just a patch of granulated skin in other words a but raw, and wait for this he suggested sugar or honey to dry it up, old fashioned but it works. So going to try that and back in 4 weeks to see him.

[Rianna Humble]

Didn't he suggest adding spice to the sugar? And what about "All things nice"?

[Sandra]

Lol good one Rianna.

[Sandra]

Well another little hic-up with an infection but that is clearing up nicely and well nothing really has changed, so I think it may be time to bring this thread to a close.

Firstly I would like to say a big thank you to all of those that took the time to reply to this thread and to those who pm'd both myself and Nigella, one person offered a shoulder if we ever needed it even though she is a long way away even gave us personal contact details for me that meant a lot, though as yet I haven't had to take up the offer :)

Now the rest of you, when I started this thread I did think I would have gotten a bit more support, responses than I did. Yes I'm accepting but I still needed to know that I could call on people for help or support if I needed it, but because of the lack of responses from some of the seasoned TSs (and I'm not talking about the ones who have replied here) I took this a slap in the face. Oh I know many of you don't like Nigella and this is why IMHO the support was not forthcoming.....well you know what I could't give a fck about you lot either, you have really shown your true colours, and have shown just what silly people you all are.


Once again to those that did reply I thank you

THREAD CLOSED.

[Tamara Croft]

And just to add to this (because you knew I would even though it's closed), all those people that messaged me saying they had PM'd Nigella already, well what a bunch of liars you were. I asked Nigella, she PM'd me to say I was the only one who had PM'd her whilst she was in hospital.

People come to this section for support, just because Nigella is a mod doesn't mean she doesn't need supporting. You should be ashamed of yourselves for ignoring a person that does nothing but come here and help run a support forum for you guys so you have support in her free time and doesn't get paid for it. Instead, she gets ignored, abused, made to feel rejected and above all, you snubbed Sandra who might seem like a very strong person, but deep down, you've all hurt her very much. I said before, you hurt my family, you hurt me.

So I'm telling you this much, those I've supported over the last few months with their problems, you know what, you can shove it, you've hurt me more than you could understand. I break my fking back running this board, helping this section stay running smoothly, keeping the twats out and how do you repay all of that? you hurt me... well NO MORE!! :Angry3: