Living 24/7 and dating

[Mary Lee]

When living 24/7 life experience to decide what one wants such as SRS or just living as a female or neither, does the trail include dating and sex. After all dating the opposite gender is part of being a female and should not sex of some type be part of the trail expressly if SRS is in the future. :daydreaming:

[ArleneRaquel]

I live as a woman 24/7, with a few lapses, and I date men and men only since 2005. I don't use SRS and so few it's worked out well, very well in fact.

[BRANDYJ]

Seems to me that this thread belongs in the Transsexual forums and not the Male to Female crossdressing Forum. Most of us that identify as crossdressers have no desire to dress 24/7 or date men or have sex with them.

Besides, I think you are confusing your gender ID with your sexual choices. Why would you date a man or have sex with him if you are not attracted to men?

[Bree-asaurus]

Yeah, you might want to post in the transexual forum.

But no, RLE does not require dating. In fact, you'll find many transexuals say don't bother with dating until after SRS and all that. Totally up to you though...

RLE is to test if you can be yourself in day-to-day life.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

what does who you have sex with and whether you have sex have to do with anything?

[Mary Lee]

what does who you have sex with and whether you have sex have to do with anything?

Why have a real life experience unless one wants to learn and try everything.

[Mary Lee]

Seems to me that this thread belongs in the Transsexual forums and not the Male to Female crossdressing Forum. Most of us that identify as crossdressers have no desire to dress 24/7 or date men or have sex with them.


There is another thread under Male to Female Crossdressing that has to do with dating. I just took it one step further.

[Bree-asaurus]

Why have a real life experience unless one wants to learn and try everything.

Do what you want, but if you're trying to have sex with men while pre-op, you're gonna have a lot of hurt awaiting you.

And if sex is this much of a priority for you, if it is going to determine whether or not you transition, maybe that's a sign that you shouldn't be transitioning.

[DonnaT]

After all dating the opposite gender is part of being a female and should not sex of some type be part of the trail
Sounds like you've painted all women with the same brush.

Many women date other women, and many have sex with the women they date.

But not all women have sex, and it's not a prerequisite to being female.

If that is your desire, then own it. Don't put it off to "well that's what women do!"

[Katesback]

Rule 1 is normal men do NOT want a woman with a penis. As a matter of fact if you have a penis your not a woman! You can do and say all you want but you are not a woman.

That leaves you with the fact you will be dating freeks and wierdos. ALL of wich will see you as an EXPENDABLE item!

If that helps straighten out your fantasy then great. If not then have at it. Better yet start hormones and you will start to understand a bit better because it sounds like your just dreaming at the moment. I cannot possibly imagine anyone wanting to go through the hell of presenting to the world a woman yet doing a HALF ASS job of it. Transition was the hardest thing I ever did and to even ponder the idea of having kept the penis is absurd.

Katie

[Miriam-J]

Is there really any such thing as "normal"?

[Aprilrain]

After all dating the opposite gender is part of being a female

Seriously?? try googling LESBIAN!

Your first sentence is confusing but I guess you mean is it required that one have sex in order to be eligible for SRS. If that is your question the answer is no.

[BRANDYJ]

For once... I can agree with Kate.
If I had any desire to transition, the very last thing on my mind would be sex and definately NOT men! If you are a bisexual male crossdresser, just own up to it and forget transition. I'm far from an expert for sure. I don't know you that's for sure too. But this does souund like a trip onto the pink fog, and not what someone that seriously is transsexual would be thinking.

[Aprilrain]

That leaves you with the fact you will be dating freeks and wierdos. ALL of wich will see you as an EXPENDABLE item!

Speak for yourself, this has not been my experience.

[BRANDYJ]

Is there really any such thing as "normal"?

Yes there is. Who I am and what I am is very normal for me and for you Mariam. lol

[Julia_in_Pa]

After transition I had lots of sex with both men and women.
The brakes had finally come off and I found myself in some very interesting situations.
After a couple of failed relationships with men I went and concentrated my efforts fully upon women.
After over five years of searching I have finally found my GG who accepts me for me.


Julia

[ArleneRaquel]

Some of my male dates have been dolts, morons, are just plain jerks, but not one has been weird, in a sexual way. Now by " normal society standards " a guy wanting to have physical contact with a guy dressed as a woman is weird, but in my mind it isn't, as long as his sexual requests are not in line. I will not agree to do anything that the guy wouldn't do with his wife, plus I chat, meet with the guy, in public as many as 10 times before I allow him to visit me in private and that visit must always be in my apartment,

[Silentpartner GG SO]

Mary Lee why in the world would any "normal" i.e. straight guy want to date, let alone have sex with, a cross-dresser? To most straight guys that would be tantamount to being gay and I would say 99% of the guys I know would absolutely not want to date or have sex with another guy

You might be very believable en femme and might even fool a guy for a date but he sure as eggs is gonna know that you're a guy the second you take your clothes off - and he's likely to - at best - run away or at worst - kick the crap out of you for taking him for a mug and for insulting his manhood. Suffice to say, he isnt going to be very happy

Quite frankly I think you are living in cloud cuckoo land

[kellycan27]

Do what you want, but if you're trying to have sex with men while pre-op, you're gonna have a lot of hurt awaiting you.

Could you please elaborate? It's just sex, What does it matter if it's with a penis and a vagina, two penis' or two vaginas? Are pre-op TS's not supposed to have sex with men because they still have a penis? Or does that fall under "gay sex"?

[Bree-asaurus]

Could you please elaborate? It's just sex, What does it matter if it's with a penis and a vagina, two penis' or two vaginas? Are pre-op TS's not supposed to have sex with men because they still have a penis? Or does that fall under "gay sex"?

Has nothing to do with the sexual orientation or the parts. I thought you've read my posts before Kelly... I've been with men and women, as a man and a woman (well, no lesbo action)... and my current boyfriend is FTM.

It's for reasons stated by previous posters. Has to do with the reactions of the guys she's going to be dealing with as she searches for someone who isn't horrified by the idea of a girl with a penis, or the creeps that treat her like an object or the gays that like her because they think she's a man.

There are decent guys out there, but they're not easy to find (usually).

Like I said, she should do what she wants. I'm just giving my opinion.

[kellycan27]

Has nothing to do with the sexual orientation or the parts. I thought you've read my posts before Kelly... I've been with men and women, as a man and a woman (well, no lesbo action)... and my current boyfriend is FTM.

It's for reasons stated by previous posters. Has to do with the reactions of the guys she's going to be dealing with as she searches for someone who isn't horrified by the idea of a girl with a penis, or the creeps that treat her like an object or the gays that like her because they think she's a man.

There are decent guys out there, but they're not easy to find (usually).

Like I said, she should do what she wants. I'm just giving my opinion.

I guess I was looking at the OP's question more in the abstract. If a pre-op wants to date and have sex with a man there are plenty out there that would be more than happy to oblige her.

[Beverley Sims]

I have read every ones reply here and learned a lot in the process.
The amount of contrasting views here has made me look at you all a little differently and it will help my replies in some other thread knowing what your views on life are.
I do not mean any of this disrespectfully either.
I am glad the thread is here and not in the transgender group as I rarely go there.

[Lorenqt]

I'd love to be able to live en femme 24/7.

[Violetgray]

Rule 1 is normal men do NOT want a woman with a penis. As a matter of fact if you have a penis your not a woman! You can do and say all you want but you are not a woman.

That leaves you with the fact you will be dating freeks and wierdos. ALL of wich will see you as an EXPENDABLE item!

If that helps straighten out your fantasy then great. If not then have at it. Better yet start hormones and you will start to understand a bit better because it sounds like your just dreaming at the moment. I cannot possibly imagine anyone wanting to go through the hell of presenting to the world a woman yet doing a HALF ASS job of it. Transition was the hardest thing I ever did and to even ponder the idea of having kept the penis is absurd.

Katie

Wow. Please re-examine your position here. "Any man who would date a woman with a penis is a freak or weirdo" is a statement that manages to be both homophobic AND transphobic at the same time.

There are plenty of transwomen who decide to keep their penis. If you say that anyone who wants them is a freak, what are you saying about the transperson themselves?

[Bree-asaurus]

Wow. Please re-examine your position here. "Any man who would date a woman with a penis is a freak or weirdo" is a statement that manages to be both homophobic AND transphobic at the same time.

There are plenty of transwomen who decide to keep their penis. If you say that anyone who wants them is a freak, what are you saying about the transperson themselves?

You just opened the floodgates... lol

[EllieOPKS]

I think it makes perfect sense for a pre-op to date men. She will eventually be a woman so if the desire is there to date a guy before surgery, so what? I also think (and don't stone me for saying this) that subconsciously the majority of men are curious about m 2 m sex. Being with a CD or someone that is pre-op lessens there own mind set of having sex with a guy, the same for the CD.

[Bree-asaurus]

All Hail the Mighty Hermaphrodites! Uh-oh.....:(

What 'Label' pray tell, would we 'bestow' upon this blessed select few, eh? Asymmetrical misogynist? Symmetrical Misandry? Where does the hatred and misconstrued theories all end? Where do the 'labels' end? et al? Where does the single word 'Normalcy' enter into this, our collective 'table of contents'?

I would humbly submit this thought. Why not speak of ourselves as normal human beings, in differing capacities...the capacity to love and let love...to live and let live...in whatever capacity each of us see's fit to ponder and nurture. It's really not about 'them'...it's REALLY all about us...or more directly...'you and me'. And that's why we're all 'here'....I would think. So delve deep, dear hearts, and construct an edifice glorifying and validating all 'our' forms; however varied they might be....;)

Umm... hermaphrodite = intersexed... not transexual. But they can be transexual as well, depending on how they were raised.

I am a normal human being. I'm also transexual ;)

[Jorja]

Mary Lee, allow me to make this simple. It is great that you are doing your RLE. In short, No, having sex is not a requirement of RLE. However, if you want, have as much sex with whom ever you want. That is your business. ;)

[Mary Lee]

Tanny chasers.

Also as I have read on this sit, I think, there are many straight guys, that want the world to think they are straight, and that having sex with a CD or TG is OK because they are having sex with what appears to be a female.

I hope I got that right.

[Mary Lee]

Mary Lee, allow me to make this simple. It is great that you are doing your RLE. In short, No, having sex is not a requirement of RLE. However, if you want, have as much sex with whom ever you want. That is your business. ;)

I am not doing my RLE nor am I interest in having sex with a male or female; the little guy does not work. Amazing how people read into things.
I feel I would just as soon own a thousand acres of wooded land and live in the middle of it.
I am curious as to what others think or would do.
I also realize that there are many types of sexual activity such as oral, anal, vaginal, mutual master...... .
I did read on this site that a young Pre-OP had dry hump with a guy and it felt so natural to her.
Everyone wants to be loved by someone and in many ways.
I feel if you want to know what it feels like to be a GG then one should experience every part of the experience and not just putting on a dress and going shopping or using the ladies restroom, etc. Female restrooms stink and are just as dirty as male restrooms. Step by Step as one sees fit. Maybe sex could be the last step. I do not know.
Doing HRT I found that my thinking had changed for the better and the girls grew a little.

[Katesback]

I sand on my statment and you can decide whatever you want. Fact is straight men dont want a chick with a d--k. Sorry but its true. Hell most of them dont want a chick that used to have a d--k.

I also want to say that it is true a lot of trans women choose to keep thier penis. Thats a reasonable statment. JUST DONT call them transsexual because NO transsexual chooses to keep her penis. She either has gotten rid of it or wants to get rid of it. Women dont have penises!!!

Katie







Wow. Please re-examine your position here. "Any man who would date a woman with a penis is a freak or weirdo" is a statement that manages to be both homophobic AND transphobic at the same time.

There are plenty of transwomen who decide to keep their penis. If you say that anyone who wants them is a freak, what are you saying about the transperson themselves?

[Violetgray]

I sand on my statment and you can decide whatever you want. Fact is straight men dont want a chick with a d--k. Sorry but its true. Hell most of them dont want a chick that used to have a d--k. Katie If you don't consider someone who'd date a girl with who has a penis straight that's your choice, but realize the implication is that a non-straight guy is a freak or weirdo. I'm not sure why a man who is open to that sort of thing is undesirable.




I also want to say that it is true a lot of trans women choose to keep their penis. Thats a reasonable statment. JUST DONT call them transsexual because NO transsexual chooses to keep her penis. She either has gotten rid of it or wants to get rid of it. Women dont have penises!!!

Katie So this person is just a man to you then?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/33790559@N06/5781532838/

Trans women keep their penises for a variety of reasons. Some can't afford to have surgery, some are just afraid, or perhaps there are medical complications. I thought that the entire concept of transsexuality is that you are a woman despite the fact that you have a penis.

[Bree-asaurus]

If you don't consider someone who'd date a girl with who has a penis straight that's your choice, but realize the implication is that a non-straight guy is a freak or weirdo. I'm not sure why a man who is open to that sort of thing is undesirable.


So this person is just a man to you then?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/33790559@N06/5781532838/

Trans women keep their penises for a variety of reasons. Some can't afford to have surgery, some are just afraid, or perhaps there are medical complications. I thought that the entire concept of transsexuality is that you are a woman despite the fact that you have a penis.

Well, she did go a bit overboard... especially on her face. Eww...

Someone isn't trans just because they look the part. And if she had alllllll those friggin surgeries, she could afford to get the proper genitals. She obviously WANTED to keep her penis. She clearly has the means to get rid of it, so she actually likes the little guy. Maybe she has other reasons for keeping it...

[Jorja]

I am not doing my RLE nor am I interest in having sex with a male or female; the little guy does not work. Amazing how people read into things.
I feel I would just as soon own a thousand acres of wooded land and live in the middle of it.
I am curious as to what others think or would do.
I also realize that there are many types of sexual activity such as oral, anal, vaginal, mutual master...... .
I did read on this site that a young Pre-OP had dry hump with a guy and it felt so natural to her.
Everyone wants to be loved by someone and in many ways.
I feel if you want to know what it feels like to be a GG then one should experience every part of the experience and not just putting on a dress and going shopping or using the ladies restroom, etc. Female restrooms stink and are just as dirty as male restrooms. Step by Step as one sees fit. Maybe sex could be the last step. I do not know.
Doing HRT I found that my thinking had changed for the better and the girls grew a little.

Sorry for making that mistake about RLE Mary Lee. That is what I get for trying to do too many other things while replying to a post her

[Sandra]

So Mary are you also saying that a pre op ts who is happily married and who's SO is travelling down the path of transition with them, should go and have sex with a man?

[Bree-asaurus]

I am not doing my RLE nor am I interest in having sex with a male or female; the little guy does not work. Amazing how people read into things.

Nobody read INTO anything... they just read what you wrote. All you did was start a thread asking a question. Usually when people ask questions it's because it's about them. Maybe you should say it's a theoretical question, you're just curious about what people think, or that it's not about you? ;)


So Mary are you also saying that a pre op ts who is happily married and who's SO is travelling down the path of transition with them, should go and have sex with a man?

I've seen a few people here that were married and thought they might be gay or bi and wanted their wives to allow them to have sex with a man to find out...

Some people are just ridiculous...

Sex is very important to me. But it had absolutely nothing to do with my transition. I had to be able to be myself. Sex just isn't a priority compared to that. And if I was with someone I loved prior to, and throughout my transition, there would be absolutely no need to try and have sex with anyone else, regardless of gender.

[JohnH]

The only way I would go out with a man would be for me to be en homme and to go on a buddy-buddy non-sexual basis, such as go to a local bar for a few drinks and to shoot pool, or to go fishing. I cannot see myself going out with a man on a date while being en femme. While I am on M2F HRT I have no plans at all for SRS.

I would not date a woman either since I am married and am faithful to my wife.

Of course, everybody's different.

Johanna

[Aprilrain]

I feel if you want to know what it feels like to be a GG then one should experience every part of the experience

in what stone is it chiseled that a woman must have sex with a man to "experience" every part of womanhood. thats like saying your not a woman if you never have children. quite frankly its sexist and offensive.

[whowhatwhen]

In my case it wouldn't matter since I couldn't physically have sex that way anyway, so, um... hooray?
Curse you sexhavers!

Edit:
BRB, Stocking up on cats.

[Mary Lee]

in what stone is it chiseled that a woman must have sex with a man to "experience" every part of womanhood. thats like saying your not a woman if you never have children. quite frankly its sexist and offensive.

Ware did I chisel that a woman must have sex with a man?

[Sandra]

So Mary are you also saying that a pre op ts who is happily married and who's SO is travelling down the path of transition with them, should go and have sex with a man?


Obviously to the OP my question is not important enough to answer.

[Mary Lee]

Not required but the pre-op will never know what it is like.
Of course the SO could use a st...-on.

[Bree-asaurus]

Not required but the pre-op will never know what it is like.
Of course the SO could use a st...-on.

And it would still not be "normal."

Sex is flexible. It is fluid. If you are attracted to someone and you love them you make it work with whatever you have.