came out to SO

[cdtraveler]

Well, it finally happened. Told my SO about my CDing and how it starting at 8 or 9 and after freaking out a bit (understandably) and asking all of the expected questions about my gender and sexual preferences and how far I'd taken my dressing, I assured her I am not gay or wish to transition and wanted to stay with her, she has actually surprised the heck out of me with her willingness to come at this with compassion and support.

Not sure how we'll work out the details, as she was very clear about not wanting to she me dressed or to dress in public (or with the kids knowing of course). I plan to see the cousel of a gender specialist and we'll take this a step at a time and seek couples therapy to determine what comes next. I think that taking things very very slowly, respecting her limits and staying open and honest with her, gives us the best chance to figure out what to do and how to do it.

Appreciate any words or experiences on this you wish the share.

[Danielle.N]

I think that taking things very very slowly, respecting her limits and staying open and honest with her, gives us the best chance to figure out what to do and how to do it.

That says it all right there. Not bad for a first day; you are off to a great start.

[Jacqueline Winona]

You're doing ir right, like Danielle said. Best of luck, and I really hope it works well for you.

[Eryn]

You're doing it right. Be sure to really listen to what your wife has to say as this is a particularly fragile time for her. You've lived with this for quite a while, she's just had it dropped on her whole. She may not have had time to completely formulate her reaction, so be ready to make adjustments if she decides that her initial assertions didn't reflect her true feelings.

[prettytoes]

My wife found my stash of clothes after 27 years of marriage. I also have crossdressed since I was very young.
She had a very similar reaction. My only regret is that I did not tell her myself. She has also requested some boundries...she does not want to see me in a skirt or dress. I can live with that. I wear panties 24/7 (usually satin bikinis), I keep my toenails painted most of the time, shave my legs (feels soooo good!), sleep in nighties, and I lounge around the house in yoga pants or capris. She knows that I have several skirts; I no longer need to hide anything. I only use makeup once in a great while...not really my thing. I mainly just enjoy wearing women's clothes.
You should make sure to let her know how much you love her, and how much you appreciate her understanding. She also needs to know that you will always be her man, no matter what you are wearing.

[mbmeen12]

Wow your so lucky, slow down with her and allow her breath a little. Then ask her for some help, like, honey can you give some advice on make up? Honey can give me your opinion on ebay womans shirt make up? etc etc...Have her join the SO forum to ask questions, lots of smart woman GG's SO to women like us...crawl walk run...

[Renee W]

It is a long road we must travel when coming out to our SOs. Take it slow, watch out for the curves and don't get impatient when you are stuck at a stop sign. In due time you will reach your destination.

[Miriam-J]

It sounds like you did a wonderful job in getting this started and addressing her concerns, and that you're showing nice sensitivity to her need to adjust. Congratulations.

[Aloha Jayne]

I did the same thing just two days ago with pretty much the same reaction. I'm just letting her get adjusted to it. We are talking, but not about this. I will not bring it up, but I'm ready to answer any questions. She will probably blind side me with something she has heard or finds on the internet. Hopefully I'll be ready.

Good luck to you and your SO!