Nature or Nurture

[Lisa-N]

Like most cds I have always wondered why? What caused me to be predisposed to crossdress. Was it genetic? Sometimes I think it happened in the womb because my mom wanted a girl.

I am the second born in my family. I have an older brother by 2 years and my mom told me that she was wishing for a girl with her second child. She even told me if i had been a girl my name would have been Andrea. Realize that when I was born this was in the days that they didn't know the babys gender until the were out.

I wonder if this influenced my future and if there are others who were 2nd born or 2nd sons?

[NathalieX66]

No one really knows why.
I was drawn to womens and girls clothes since I was somewhere between 5 and 7 years old.
Looking back on it, I think female clothes would have been my default choice. I always wanted to pretty up and do what the girls do.....can't really say why.

[KellyJameson]

I think nurture can create a crossdresser but it takes nature to turn it into gender dysporia.

[Jacqueline Winona]

No clue- I just am, and like it. :)

[docrobbysherry]

How about door No. 3, Tangy? No desire to try on ladies things until age 50. Despite MANY easy opportunities to over the years!

So, make that: Nature, Nurture, and WTF???

[Crystal Alberta]

I've thought about this a fair bit over the years, and I think that at least in my case, it's nature. Mainly because crossdressing is such a deep-rooted part of who I am, because I've had thoughts of dressing literally for as long as I can remember (though it took me a while to act on these thoughts), and because I can't think of a single thing in my upbringing that could have caused all of this.

Crystal

[Samantha Jaynes]

I'm also the second born with a brother 2 years older. I always thought my mother AND my father wanted a girl. No one ever told me so but still, I've always felt it. My father died when I was three years old by which time I had a younger sister. My mother always said how happy my father was when she was born. My mother is quite "masculine" in many ways. My father looks quite "feminine" in photographs, especially when he was younger. I grew up in England in the 1950's when it was the custom as a small child, to be clothed in frilly dresses (there are photos of General Douglas McArthur similarly dressed). My sister's clothes were the first that I remember wearing - until I was reprimanded for it and realized that it was something I "shouldn't be doing". When I was 7 years old I was sent away to boarding school, all boys. The only vestige of femininity was a hard nosed and physically brutal woman who was called Matron - to her face. Behind her back we called her "Battleship". She was supposed to provide the substitute for our mother's attention (for all 300 of us !) but preferred to slap us around and make us take cold showers every morning...even in winter. I remember her with her stopwatch counting to ten, then shouting "Next !" It was all very Dickensian - ancient stone buildings with small windows and well polished floors, beatings with a cane for transgressions of any kind - they would pronounce one's sentence "Six of the best !". I was miserable, until one day I realized that the all the costumes for the school plays were stored in an adjoining room to the dormitory where I slept. I well remember ferreting out a pretty skirt and putting on a "show" for the other boys and how incredibly thrilling and "warming" it was. I was never chosen to play the girl's roles in the school plays but I do remember being transfixed by the boys who were. They became forever exalted in my eyes and were somehow transformed into semi-divine creatures. I so wanted to be one of them...Well, I'm going on a bit here, but I do think that nature and nurture have an even hand in making me who I am. I'm am learning to love my girl self, but it hasn't been easy.

[Lisa-N]

Congrats Samantha, learning to love yourself is the key. So sad to hear about your school but I am happy you found your way....Good luck and hugs....

[Joanna Maguire]

My mother first put me in a dress when I was about 7yrs old>She dressed me as a girl on weekends and holidays till I went to high school. I be a CD of my own choice when I left school. In my "girlhood" My mother bought many dresses for me to wear. I owned only two sets of boys clothing. A school uniform and a pair shorts and a shirt. I was an only child. She frequently took me out shopping dressed as a girl, I must have really looked like a girl as no one ever asked any questions or noticed I I was a boy ?found out later that she wanted a girl baby and hated men even my father and me as her son. She had Peritonitis and could not not have another baby. So I had a very confusing childhood ! I became a CD of my own choice when I left school and began buying my own girly gear. I am now 70yrs old. In my mothers old family photo album there are 2 B&W photographs of me in a white dress with a gg. Both of us holding dolls.
Joanna

[Kate Simmons]

Sometimes folks overlook that we may have been the other gender in a previous life. Certain things are inherent, regardless of who we are now or what we look like.:)

[kimdl93]

There is significant evidence to suggest that gender identification can be influenced by the hormonal environment in the womb. Its particularly interesting that this is more common among male children born follwing one or more older male siblings, with no female children in between.

[Cheryl T]

There is significant evidence to suggest that gender identification can be influenced by the hormonal environment in the womb. Its particularly interesting that this is more common among male children born follwing one or more older male siblings, with no female children in between.

I agree in part with Kim. Some may be chemical influences in the womb, but I also believe it is genetic to a degree.
In my case I have 3 male cousins on my father's side all about my age group. They are all gay and I...well you know what I am. Since there are 3 different mother/father sets, 3 different households, 3 different life experiences, I must believe that all this is tied to genetics.

[Krististeph]

There is significant evidence to suggest that gender identification can be influenced by the hormonal environment in the womb. Its particularly interesting that this is more common among male children born follwing one or more older male siblings, with no female children in between.

As usual, Kim's got the info. :-)

i take my middle name Stephanie from the boy who was born between my nearest older brother and me. "Stephen" died as a premature baby. I came along 5 years later. My nearest older was preceded by a sister, and he (my nearest older brother) is not TG or CD, although he knows I am (though never has asked) and has learned that even though he is the big shot older brother (and my childhood hero), he does not get to look down on me for what i am.

he's actually pretty proud of the successes i've had, since i have often said he was more of an influence on my than my parents. Maybe not totally accurate- but he was a great older brother.

I never inquired as to anything that may have happened during Mom's pregnancy- and i'll never know. Doubtful if there is an incident that can be identified, anyway.

I've come to accept it however it came about, though i would still love to know. it's frustrated me for so many years, as well as a number of girlfriends... I wish I could explain to them why I was hard to get to know...

[Vickie_CDTV]

I am an only child, and there are no trans and only one suspected homosexual (lesbian cousin), so if it is genetic it is highly unlikely in my case. I am a medically normal male, nothing out of the ordinary. There is no obvious medical reason I am a TV. My mother was very thin (anorexia, almost died twice), weighed maybe 110 tops when she was carrying me and probably malnourished, and she smoked, and she was in an abusive relationship (and still is all of these things, sigh); maybe those could be influential, but I have never read about them as a possible cause of TVism. I was born premature, which some TVs have in common, but it is hard to say.

Growing up clinging to my mother must have had some influence, not to mention the childhood trauma (for example, having only your four year old son to comfort you while you are going into labor and crying and screaming while your abusive father refuses to come help her must rewire the growing brain, I cannot imagine such trauma cannot do this.)

[Lorileah]

Someday we will know and all the world will be right.

Or not.

Genetics? Probably not but since there are so many combinations it is possible. Nature? More likely. Otherwise why would anyone WANT the pain and issues associated with dressing up? Nurture, rare at best because you would fight it when you grew older.

Birth order? I am the oldest of three boys...one of each (me Bi-CD, a gay bro and a straight as an arrow bro). Chemical? I am in the age bracket for DES babies, my mom doesn't think she took it but who knows? The nuclear option? Hey maybe all those tests in the desert?

I am what I am and that's all I am. So I just go with the flow now because life is too short to try and make sense of everything

[kimdl93]

I'd like to offer a qualifier - the evidence for the fraternal birth order effect is only one factor, obviously. I read that although its the strongest individual predictor of homosexuality in men, only about 7% of gays can be attributed to this factor. Lots of other stuff out there that contributes...this just happens to be on that's relatively easy to document.

[Lorenqt]

In my case, I think nature more than nurture has influenced woh I am. My parents are very loving. My mom is kinda supportative (she doesn't really like it, butt she respects my decision) and I don't think my dad, who died a couple of years ago, would've had a big problem with my choice of apperal.

[Frédérique]

Like most cds I have always wondered why? What caused me to be predisposed to crossdress. Was it genetic? Sometimes I think it happened in the womb because my mom wanted a girl.

My parents definitely wanted a boy, even though I was not expected, arriving late in their lives, premature, under-cooked, and struggling to survive. All during my childhood something wasn’t quite right, as if something was missing, but I couldn’t begin to grasp concepts that were beyond my pre-adolescent understanding. I was a boy, and I was expected to be a boy – I had two older sisters who unwittingly created this atmosphere where a boy would help, so the die was cast...

It was only later that I realized I was playing against type, being pointlessly aggressive and direction-less when my true nature was shy, reserved, and very un-boy like. The idea of putting on girl’s clothes was a long-simmering idea and I had to overcome this "boy" template that I was expected to follow without question. I became secretive out of necessity, eventually taking the plunge, stepping through that blessed portal that would restore my original “self.”

There are other factors that led to my crossdressing, but “nature” is the main reason why I chose to step out of the boy and try on something more...beautiful (not to mention comfortable)!
:battingeyelashes:

[Jill Devine]

From my earliest memories (around age 4), I wanted to be a girl. Loved girls clothing.

My up bringing was the same as my older brother (highly doubt he is a CD). Same nurture and similar nature (DNA). Who knows the answer. But I've stopped asking.

[DonnaT]

Nature and nurture, IMHO.

I believe we, some of us, are predisposed (nature) to some level of transness, and it would have lay dormant if not for some trigger (nurture) to awaken it.

Note that some people or predisposed (nature) to be alcoholics, but they won't know that until they've had their first drink or two (nurture).

[Kayla C]

My mother always wanted a girl, but she got three sons. I was the oldest. I remember thinking about and wanting to be a girl from when I was 7 or 8 -- and these thoughts have persisted ever since no matter how hard I've tried to push them out of my mind. But I think it's more than that - nature vs nurture - I think it's a combination. I know now that it's not something you can just will away - it can be suppressed for a while but it is never really gone.

[xcdmargo]

I'm the oldest of 5 boys and my brothers are all straight. I don't ever remember not having the feeling or urge inside me. It's been a very wild ride for sure. But I do love this side of me. It took me years to accept it though.
I think it's just the way I was wired I have no idea why.
I'd love to know for sure someday why I am the way I am but probably won't

margo

[Lisa-N]

Thank you all for responding, I guess the mystery shall continue. The why doesn`t really mater as long as you learn to accept it, and once that happens then to enjoy and let it enrich your life. Hugs to all.