How do some of you converse in public, when dressed up?

[Alice Torn]

I have only conversed with people several times, when i was out. Once was with a cop who pulled me over! The other main time, was with cashiers, helpers at a Dollar Store, and a grocery store, and i outed myself both times, not caring that i gave away that i was a guy.

[sissystephanie]

I have a very distinctively male voice that can never be feminine. I don't even try to disguise it. I am a male who likes to crossdress! I dress to please myself, not the rest of the world! BTW, I also don't wear makeup or a wig!

[PretzelGirl]

I generally don't worry about it too much. I approach it as the person I am talking with knows so I don't have to worry about it. I do tone my voice down so I am not turning heads all around wondering where the James Earl Jones voice came from. But that is about it. When you accept that the person you are talking with knows, I feel it all becomes easier. But then it depends on your goals....

[joank]

I talk more softly but do not try to change the tone. I probably get read close up but by then I don't have a problem with it. I deal with service people mostly--waitress, waiter, check out.

[noeleena]

Hi, Louise.

I know your looking at this from a dresser's point of view, That im not, any way.

I do have a slight advantage, I make friends with people i disarm them.

manly because of how i look , i just go in & say hi & talk, people look beyond how you look, well i find they do,
so then , ones voice is it that male , that you are well yes a male ,

okay. so the voice may give you away. showing confidence in your self as a person can carry you through & many people dont really care, any way , they may think a lot & wonder & more likely say nothing. yet i know a woman , whos voice is so low , i thought whats that male doing in here shoping for womens clothes , so i looked & wow she was / is a female / woman was it only her voice , no even her looks facial features were quite maleish..

& i have a problem...

Not after seeing her. As iv been told we all come different shape size & voice & looks, you getting my point we are not all female / woman looking , its about being accepted on who you are as a person .
I dont much look like a woman my face will tell you that, yet , i am a female / woman just not a 100 % one thats all.

What helps me is im very out going talked to large groups of people, know how to engage people put them at ease & go on from there, easy . a . well maybe not for some,

so you need to gain self confdence be sure of your self & carry your self in a way that says i can be who i am with out fear of what others may say or think. i can go any were, talk with any one ,

I know this wont apply to some of cause ,

i'v grown to become a strong woman to be able to do what i have , yet if you apply simple things about your self you can use what you have with in your self & build on that,

there seems to be a fear of talking with people you dont know yet i do & i meet so many people a group of people came down from the north isl yes N Z & as i was walking by i saw all these older cars , it was a car club that were traviling around the south isl so i said hi to one of the guys & had a nice natter, he was not bothered in how i looked & it was lovely,

I may not be this femm looking lass from the county yet im still a woman & recive respect from many people , so it comes down to you wont acceptance then earn it by going out & being a part of the community you live in . join groups & do what ever it takes.
Hey it does work i'v proved it, time & time again,


...noeleena...

[Princess Chantal]

Seems like I'm more approachable enfemme, it is very rare to go out and not have someone strike up a conversation. I'm naturally not a chatterbox, so it tends to be very one sided. I guess I portray a positive and comfortable image to be approached by so many people.

[Beverley Sims]

When dressed I keep conversation to a minimum unless I get a friendly SA. If my cover is broken and the scene is ok then I will even joke about my disabilities as well.
I have had some fabulous interaction with SAs especially in London. What a great place...

[sherri]

Like others have said, I soften my voice a bit but otherwise speak naturally. I just sound silly otherwise, and besides, generally I don't mind if people know I'm TG. In fact, I prefer it.

[rachaelsloane]

I go out for drinks and dinner in SF at least once a week with a good friend and since she is not bashfull we are always having conversations with the people at the seats or tables next to us. We use our normal voice tone and get engaged in the most interesting conversations on many topics, which has led to having them as friends we plan on going out with another time.
I've also noticed that after a while, even I forget that I'm out en femme. Life couldn't be better.

[Cheryl T]

I soften my voice, raise it a touch in tone and try to be polite.

[AllieSF]

Yes, Rachael said it all for me. Just be nice, be yourself, show interest in them and their life, and answer their questions if and when asked. It works every time.

[Kate Simmons]

Pretty much the same Louise. I don't try to talk any differently. Interestingly, many don't notice anything to be amiss.:)

[Acastina]

I have two voices and two ways of interacting. I had to learn the more female-convincing voice AND the the more male-convincing way of interacting, the latter growing up with the expectations of others and the former on my own in my thirties. Being inclined to singing and acting helps a lot, and there's no substitute for practice, practice, practice.

[ArleneRaquel]

When in conversation with a sales clerk like today, at a grocery store, I soft my voice and attempt to resent myself, as best as I can, as a woman, thought I believe that I fool no one in my attempts.

[Persephone]

Speak softly and hide the big stick!

Lots of good advice from everyone so far. I too try to speak more softly and to add more inflections and tones to my speech. I find that your choice of words, what you say and how you say it can be more important than voice.

I think that a lot of CD's overlook a basic fact: that women interact far more with each other then men interact with each other. There is NO possibility that you can avoid conversation if you want to fit in when you are out in public. Women exchange casual conversation all the time and any woman who fails to respond to a conversational gambit will be suspect.

Sample: You are walking through the grocery store and the woman behind you comes by and says, "Nice shoes!" If you don't reply with something like "Thanks! I got them at Off Broadway last week, they were on sale!" you are going to get another look, and that's an appraisal that you definitely don't want!

Sample: You are washing your hands in the ladies' room and the woman next to you says, "That was a wonderful concert, wasn't it!" You definitely better fit in! Otherwise she may be out in the lobby talking to management, or, even worse, her husband!

Rikkidee's post [click here] (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?171070-On-The-Road-Again) "On the road again" has several examples.

So, if you can't "talk the talk" as well as "walk the walk" you'd better think twice before heading beyond the closet or the CD world of clubs.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[carhill2mn]

I have been going out en femme for many years to a great vaiety of places. I have conversed with men and women for both short and long times. There are a few things that you can do to make it less likely that you will be "read" as a result of speaking.

Pay attention to how women use different words, phrases and style of speaking than men do. Soften your voice - a woman's voice starts higher up in the voice box - and do not speak authoritatively; raise the pitch a couple of "notes"; smile and use some hand gestures (not excessively); look at the person to whom you are speaking. Most women speak more gently than most men. Practice will make it seem easier.

Good luck, enjoy!

[STACY B]

I go out for drinks and dinner in SF at least once a week with a good friend and since she is not bashfull we are always having conversations with the people at the seats or tables next to us. We use our normal voice tone and have had some of the most interesting conversations on many topics which has led to having them as friends we plan on going out with another time.

See your JUST LIKE ME !! We meet no strangers ,, If ,,, ya get LUCKY enough in your life time to find someone you CLICK with ,,, You have hit the JACKPOT my friend ,, An I dont give 2 s';';ts if they have 2 heads ,, Its a wonerful thing an I have had alot of friends in my time ,, I make freinds every where I go ,,Look at all the ones ive already made on here . SHOWIN the LOVE ,,,,,,, LOVE !!!!!

[Annie D]

I soften my voice like others have said, I keep my hands in front of me to enable me to be more demonstrative and feminine in my hand/arm movements and I remember to always face the person I am addressing. I try to speak at a moderate speed and try to be as descriptive in my conversation as possible. Men rarely show their hands by keeping them in their pockets or at their sides or crossing their arms and the NEVER stand toe to toe, unless they are trying to be aggressive. Men stand side by side to converse. I can't do away with the tenor in my voice but I just try to tighten my vocal cords so that I am not a baritone.

[Eryn]

With my voice I soften and try to make it a bit more musical. Women almost sing when they speak. Persephone is very perceptive when talking about women's tendency to speak to each other. The last time I was shopping en femme an older lady walked up and asked me to retrieve a top from a high display hook for her. Before our interaction ended we discussed the top, whether I thought that it would fit her, and what I thought of the color. I was pleased that the lady didn't skip a beat when she heard my voice and then continued the interaction to its natural conclusion.

[LeannL]

Well, as others have said, I soften my voice. Apparently I must be softening it a lot because I often get people telling me that they can hear my male voice from down the hall :). I know my male voice projects quite well. I seldom need a speaker system even in a large room.
I also move my voice up into the back of my throat instead of having it in the middle of my neck. This will raise the pitch a bit. I have been working on exhaling while I talk. This makes the voice more airy which apparently is more feminine.
Apparently what I do is working as over the last several months, I have had to present my ID at hotels and the like while dressed en femme and my voice hasn’t given me away because they don’t believe the ID is mine :) .

Leann

[ashleymasters]

I actually speak very little. Ashley is a very real part of me just not an extremely verbal one. For now anyway.

[YorkshireRose]

Many years ago I was working in a call centre and was helping a male customer on the phone. Several hours later he called back to ask to speak to "that helpful lady I spoke to before", I already have a very soft voice, so hopefully feminizing it, when I do venture out EnFemme, will not be too difficult...I hope!

[Jenniferathome]

Almost always in English

[Alice Torn]

Lately, I have watched enough 3 Stooges, and Laurel and Hardy movies, with either Curley, or Stan Laurel dressed as women! Maybe talking like Curley, or Stanley, is the best thing! Truthfully, the last several times i ventured out, (about 15 months ago), i did not try to disguise the voice. Just didn't care. Thanks for all the useful input!

[LeannL]

Many years ago I was working in a call centre and was helping a male customer on the phone. Several hours later he called back to ask to speak to "that helpful lady I spoke to before", I already have a very soft voice, so hopefully feminizing it, when I do venture out EnFemme, will not be too difficult...I hope!

I don't want to hijack this thread but, Rose, what you describe is about the ultimate test for having a feminine voice and you passed! The hard part of having a feminine conversation is to have feminine diction, cadence, phraseology, etc, because you aren't giving any visual clues. I am not there yet. You are! Congratulations!

Leann

[ArleneRaquel]

To my great surprise I have been called ma'am after engaging in a face to face conversion on a number of occasions, more so over the phone.

[YorkshireRose]

I don't want to hijack this thread but, Rose, what you describe is about the ultimate test for having a feminine voice and you passed! The hard part of having a feminine conversation is to have feminine diction, cadence, phraseology, etc, because you aren't giving any visual clues. I am not there yet. You are! Congratulations!

Leann


Why thank you Leann! It did cause me a fair amount of teasing from the girls I worked with at the time though! Thanks for the encouragment and the advice though hon!

Hugs Charlotte

[kimdl93]

I just try to be myself and treat whomever I encounter with warmth and courtesy. So far, it seems to work pretty well.

[Julie Martin]

As Acastina describes, I have a female voice that I use when out dressed. It's not perfect, still evolving, but it's part of the challenge of presenting as female and (sometimes) pulling it off, which is part of the fun for me. At 6', I need all the female cues I can get! There is much transfer from singing, and years of research on the internet and lots of practice is finally coming together. I do have a very deep bass male voice, but the female voice comes from a different place. Finally got to the point of not worrying if I get read, which has actually given me more confidence with the voice and made it more convincing. Nice to hear all the different takes on this!

[thechic]

I just speak like ive allways spoken,ive never changed it any way,lucky to be born with a voice that was a curse in my younger days,lucky because i like talking alot.

[sonna]

what ever you do, do it with a smile,(not a creepy smile) i found alot of people dont care, just own
the situation and go with the flow and enjoy yourself.