Know thyself!

[ashleymasters]

I have finally resolved to see a therapist to specifically deal with my little paradigm. I don't want to stop dressing. I also don't want to keep dressing and lie to my wife. So I will be working with the therapist to either resolve the reasons I dress or come to terms with the risks of telling her. What it comes down to is I'm either a dresser that needs to come out or I'm not truly a dresser and I need to find out why I do it. Either answer will be hard to swallow so wish me luck.

[jillleanne]

Good luck. Luck however, will not play a part in your answer. If you don't want to stop dressing and lying to your wife, don't stop dressing and stop lying to your wife. A therapist will not tell your wife about your gender enhancements; only you can do that.

[Barbara Ella]

I have been a cross dresser for 6 months. After I realized that this was me, I had this same dilemma. I knew very quickly that I could not stop cross dressing. I was conflicted about lying to my wife, but I knew she had the right to know what her husband was. Another factor, she checks credit card statements for accuracy, and I could see some charges coming in the not too distant future, both on line, and at local stores (Payless, Macys, Dress Barn, etc.)...lol. It took three months to get the courage up to come out. It was not easy. She was devastated for a while, but is now supportive, not accepting of CD, but she wants me to be happy and at peace with myself. She still has worries, and we talk a lot.

You will find what you want/need to do. May you find the peace you need.

Babes

[ashleymasters]

Thank you both for your thoughts. I enjoy dressing and it's a guilty pleasure sometimes. I still go through the cycle of purging and sometimes feeling a little disgusted with it. But there are times I feel totally at ease. I just feel like if I'm going to tell my wife I need a good self inventory so I can define it. Either way when I ask her to understand and support my needs I'll need to be able to clearly state what those needs are. I don't even know right now. I don't know if the male side is being too defensive or if the female side isn't naturally part of me.

[Marleena]

Ashley you are describing a classic crossdresser. Nothing to be ashamed of at all. A gender therapist is a great idea! :) As far as telling the wife, I won't give any advice there since I have no idea how she might react.

[kimdl93]

I agree with Marleena - many of us are in the same boat. Perhaps you could talk with your therapist about tactics or methods facilitate constructive discussion of difficult subjects with your SO - and your CDing in particular.