Buying too much!!!

[SallyS]

I have a slight moral issue regarding my feminine wardrobe!

My current situation allows me to have a bit of spend up in Autumn.

I tend to buy several new outfits, underwear, hosiery, make-up and shoes.
If I had my way I'd ONLY buy female clothing, but alas, I do need the occasional item of male clothing:sad:

Looking at my my wardrobe (I share it with the wife), I have already got a ratio of at least 2:1 in favour of female clothes. And to be fair, I've pretty much got more outfits than my SO.

Like many others, I love wearing different outfits. However I've started to feel the tiniest amount of guilt, that I have more women's clothes than the wife!

It's not as if I don't encourage her to buy herself more, she just such a dedicated mother, that she'd rather spend money on the kids (not always the best thing IMHO).

I've started to feel bad about buying new things, not because I'm ashamed of being a CD'er, but because I'm spending 'our' money on what is essentially a 'hobby'.

Anyone else have the same issues?

[Cheryl T]

I would go crazy if allowed, but that darn conscience of mine is always there.
We've reached the level that it's now BUY ONE ... TOSS ONE!
Something new comes home an old version of it is sold or donated. Keeps the closet neat and also helps control the spending...I hate tossing things out!

[kimdl93]

I haven't gotten to that point yet. My male clothes are about equal in number to my female attire. And I have a long way to go before I catch up with my wife. I'm fairly judicious about my purchases, and find I'm culling out some earlier, unfortunate choices as I make new selections. Of course, one could insist that buying women's clothes, shoes, wigs and make up is frivilous...but I could just as easily be spending discretionary income on something else.

[Kerigirl2009]

Like many others, I love wearing different outfits. However I've started to feel the tiniest amount of guilt, that I have more women's clothes than the wife![/QUOTE]

This is EXACTLY what my wife says to me "You have more and better bras and panties then I do" and I do agree with her but I also try to explain the why I buy these as a way of dealing with NOT being able to dress like she does everyday. Its a release of the feminine feelings that I have. I also encourage her to go out and buy some new clothes for herself but she is like your wife and says she can do without and would rather spend money on our children. Hence this is where the SELFISHNESS of a crossdresser come into play and the right thing of staying out of her clothing. Besides it is better to have our own stuff and in a sence we really our two different people living in the same body and mind.

[suzy1]

Some men drink the money away, some get a big mean motorbike, some spend a fortune on golf, some gamble it away, so don’t feel so bad about it Sally.

You don’t do any of those other things do you? I hope not!!!

I’m watching you girl,

SUZY

[BLUE ORCHID]

I have a slight moral issue regarding my feminine wardrobe!

My current situation allows me to have a bit of spend up in Autumn.

I tend to buy several new outfits, underwear, hosiery, make-up and shoes.
If I had my way I'd ONLY buy female clothing, but alas, I do need the occasional item of male clothing:sad:

Looking at my my wardrobe (I share it with the wife), I have already got a ratio of at least 2:1 in favour of female clothes. And to be fair, I've pretty much got more outfits than my SO.

Like many others, I love wearing different outfits. However I've started to feel the tiniest amount of guilt, that I have more women's clothes than the wife!

It's not as if I don't encourage her to buy herself more, she just such a dedicated mother, that she'd rather spend money on the kids (not always the best thing IMHO).

I've started to feel bad about buying new things, not because I'm ashamed of being a CD'er, but because I'm spending 'our' money on what is essentially a 'hobby'.

Anyone else have the same issues?

Hi Sally, pretty much the same thing only it,s about 20 to 1 F to M outfits

[StephanieDragg]

My ratio is more like 70 to 1... I hit the resales a lot but do go overboard quite a bit especially on shoes... I work a lot and the bills get paid so I don't worry about it, most of the fun I have is going around shops looking at clothes and shoes and if I see something I adore and it's my size I am all over it!!!! Once in a while I go through my things and take some back to the resales, give to another gurl or toss... due to issues of space.

[SallyS]

Some men drink the money away, some get a big mean motorbike, some spend a fortune on golf, some gamble it away, so don’t feel so bad about it Sally.

You don’t do any of those other things do you? I hope not!!!

I’m watching you girl,

SUZY

Nope!.....just the odd bottle of fine wine every now and then:)

So I guess I shouldn't feel bad about spending money on my female outfits. The kids aren't starving and the bills get paid, so I guess it's OK?

[kimdl93]

Its OK, Sally. If it makes you feel better, buy something for the kids before you buy something for yourself!

[Stephanie47]

I don't drink, smoke, use drugs, have expensive hobbies, etc. Yes, I do not consider cross dressing as a hobby because it is an essential part of my being. Having said that I will confess to being a little compulsive in purchasing full slips. Whereas my wife maybe has two or three slips, I have over four hundred. It did get to the point where there is very little for me to drool over when perusing on line retailers and eBay. As to dresses I have exactly eighty. Maybe my wife has ten? I do not feel the least bit guilty having more femme articles than my wife. One of my chores for today was to rearrange my bras. I bought three this week (black, mint green, teel). I have no idea how many bras I have, but, I do know I have many more colors than my wife. She has white, black, beige and a purple one. Maybe I'll start a thread on bras? We are debt free. Kids are out of the house. The only regret I have is not having an extra bedroom with a walk in closet and a supportive wife.

[STACY B]

So my wife has more FLIP FLOPS than most people have hair in there head .

[~Joanne~]

I see the answer as simple. while your out shopping for yourself, pick her up an equal amount of what she likes. After all, you should know what she wears, the size and the style. Pick the kids up some things too. keep it equal and fair for all :)

If my GF knew about my dressing (fully) I surely would pic her up a few pairs of panties if I was buying myself some. When we are out shopping and I buy myself some hose I always ask if she wants some too or maybe some socks, she doesn't wear hose much ;)

[Katesback]

My favorite part of the two times I went to Southern Comfort is sitting in the lobby on the days people show up for the conference. I am not kidding when I saw people pull up with trailers of stuff. I have been in rooms where there was close to no room for people to walk because of all the stuff they brought. I have seen people change outfits ever couple hours.

I felt out of place since I had ONE suitcase. LOL oh well.

[Karren H]

The thousands I spend a year on clothes and makeup aren't part of the family budget.. The kids education is paid for. The house is paid off... No car payments..... And if I wasn't spending it on "this" I'd be buying old cameras or tools.... an antique steam tractor? I spend way more on ice hockey than crossdressing. Price a new composite stick or a good pair of skates !!

[Jocelyn Quivers]

The irony with me is that I never actually wear any of the items out in public that I buy, maybe one day that will change. Luckily all bills and mandatory payments are taken care of so I count this as descrentionary spending. Even though I do spend a lot to support this lifestyle it pails in comparison to what my male friends spend on firearms, hunting equipment, golf clubs, boats, fishing equipment etc. Then again maybe I do spend a similar amount. :straightface:

[DonnaT]

Lots of people have hobbies, and the only way they can partake is to spend money on that hobby. I doubt if they go out and get a second job just to have money to spend on their hobby.

The problem arises when all their money is spent on the hobby.

If the expenses allow for it, then there should be no problem.

Now, if you are buying just to be buying, then that can also be a problem. You'll soon run out of space.

I always ask myself, do I need this or that. I haven't bought anything in quite a while, since what I have suits my needs. Same for male clothes.

[StevieTV]

I'm at the point where I am only buying female items, clothes, shoes, accessories, toiletries, etc. Mind you I live alone and the pink fog has been stationary for several months now :)

[ReineD]

It's not as if I don't encourage her to buy herself more, she just such a dedicated mother, that she'd rather spend money on the kids ...

I've started to feel bad about buying new things, not because I'm ashamed of being a CD'er, but because I'm spending 'our' money on what is essentially a 'hobby'.

Guilt is a useful feeling. It alerts us when we've violated our own moral boundaries, which we need to be aware of in order to live peacefully with others. The tendency is to seek approbation from others for our actions in order to ease the guilt, but ultimately the only way to get rid of it is to follow your conscience.

You also don't want to deprive yourself.

So, a solution might be to sit down with your wife and discuss a budget for your discretionary income. First the bills, retirement, savings for long term goals, etc. What's left can be allocated to children's needs (make a list of them all including birthdays, christmas, and a few extras), family outings including outings with just you and your wife, and last, an amount of discretionary income for each you and your wife. If you do not exceed the discretionary income allotted to you, then there will be no reason to feel guilty even if your wife chooses to spend hers on the kids above the money that has been budgeted for them. :)


My favorite part of the two times I went to Southern Comfort is sitting in the lobby on the days people show up for the conference. I am not kidding when I saw people pull up with trailers of stuff. I have been in rooms where there was close to no room for people to walk because of all the stuff they brought. I have seen people change outfits ever couple hours.

I felt out of place since I had ONE suitcase. LOL oh well.

I remember reading this in several of you posts. Ad nauseam.

Don't you get tired of picking out the few examples of extreme behavior and comparing them to your own exemplary behavior as if to let us know how much better you are than others? Besides, who are you to judge how much stuff a CDer might choose to bring to Southern Comfort?

[PretzelGirl]

Your spending can only be too much if you can't afford it. The easy way my wife and I handled it was by figuring a budget with savings and then taking a set amount each paycheck and making a "blowing" allowance out of it. She wanted Starbucks or to go to the movies, she used her's. I wanted clothes or to join a bowling league, that was mine. On occasion we might go shopping together and blow some extra money, but that was after having something like overtime that made it available. If you do something that sets a cap, then you don't tend to let the fog get away and you are staring a receipts with a puzzled look.

[Marleena]

Sally buying clothes is important to all girls, genetic or otherwise. It could be that darn pink fog, not sure. Like others have said if your bills are paid and family obligations met don't worry about it.:) I have been known to blow extra money at the stupid casino, so at least you have something to show for it.

[Veronica Lacey]

Hi Sally...

My collection is about 1:1 with the female inventory gradually gaining ground. Could always go for more heels, some jewellery, dresses.

I briefly felt guilt many years ago (for about a day) over spending money on traditionally female attire. I was able to rationalize like some others here have. I do not smoke, drink ever so rarely, do not indulge in fancy cars or electronics. I do not even drink coffee. All total I save thousands every year not indulging in any or all of these things so when I do use my own budgeted spending money I do not feel bad at all. If we could not afford it then I would not make such purchases.

From re-reading my post I must sound like a really boring person...but a boring person with very colourful underwear!

Good question.

Veronica