@#$%; what-ifs

[Andie Elisabeth]

Hi,
I probably know what to do but I don't feel that the time is right. This is because I plan to go to grad school that is in town where I live in, IDs say so, but I am currently at college in a city that is three hours away in train from home. I know that I have to find a therapist and here is the problem should I find one that is in the same city as college or should I find one near home?

What if I screw up in next two or three months and my school schedule will not allow me to visit the therapist I find near home? What if I don't screw up things but I'll have a therapist in the city I am now?

The worst thing is that I don't feel that now is the right time to discuss my situation with my mom when I come home, I am at home from fri to mon, she needs to talk about problems with her parents (Alzheimer and final stage of cancer) and her sister who is supposed to take care of them because she lives in the same town and is not a divorced mom like mine and even has a husband who doesn't like it that she doesn't care about them more.

Any advice other than stay strong for a little while and drink tea?

Elisabeth

[Kirsty_D]

Put the thoughts of screwing up out of your mind and find a therapist in the city you are currently in.
Just seeing the therapist, moving forward should help to focus your mind and focus on your studies.

Never accept failure from the outset, realize that failure can happen but aim high.

[kimdl93]

First off, you need to take the long view, which is hard for a young person at times. Put your immediate desires into perspective. What's going to be best for you and for your mother over the next weeks, months and years. The answer should be pretty obvious, right? But I would think that you could find a therapist near your school and be able to spare an hour every week or two to visit her/him. I wouldn't burden your mother with anything more...do the best you can working through the therapist as Kristy said, focus.

[Andie Elisabeth]

Thank you, that's what I needed to hear (^_^) I just contacted a on-campus therapist by e-mail to schedule a session. I don't think that she will be available past 5 p.m.

EDIT: She's away and will return on monday.

[kimdl93]

What is it that you want to do?

[Andie Elisabeth]

Generally speaking: Get to know myself better and to get rid of fear that makes me to do things that are not me :)

Short term: Graduate, of course, not to put weight of my unclear mind on my mom. And with enough tea I will make it (^_^)

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I think you will do fine..

You have lots of time to work things out for yourself. Getting good advice from good people is really important.

I think you show alot of courage and maturity to realize that letting your mom get through important matters is a short term priority.

There may never be a perfect time, but there surely will be a better time than now... In fact, your loving support for her will serve you well because it strengthens the bonds you share..regardless of her reaction to your situation, you will know you did right by her

[kimdl93]

Generally speaking: Get to know myself better and to get rid of fear that makes me to do things that are not me :)

Short term: Graduate, of course, not to put weight of my unclear mind on my mom. And with enough tea I will make it (^_^)

Sometimes, when you are uncertain about what to do, the best thing is to do nothing. So, when fear or indecision about a choice confront you, that's a good time to put off that particular choice. You do seem to know your immediate priorities, so with that knowledge you'll make good choices.