How you see women

[Katrina Black]

Hi everyone as a married crossdresser and father of three girls . I feel im very respectful of women and all they deal with in a mans world .. I also work in a 99% male enviorment which really even these days tends to not be all that respectful of women.. just wondering? I bet most crossdressers really respect all that women have to deal with ..and if more men dressed it might be a better world. your thoughts??

[STACY B]

Ohhhhhh I see em alright ,, See what there wearing so I can steal there secret fashion sense ,, An admire there outfits ,, Can sit an watch em for hours ,, There my favorite thing in the whole world ,, So sexy an Beautiful , Thats why we want to look like them . MEOWWWWWW

[Chloe75]

I too am very respectful of women. Many people call me chivalrous and I am all the happy to do what I can. I'm not sure that more dressing would bring about more respect for women but it is an interesting question that I hope many will chime in on.

[whowhatwhen]

I know the feeling, it's awkward and uncomfortable as hell being around men when they're discussing women.
Maybe I just don't see women that way so I don't know.

[Chloe75]

Ohhhhhh I see em alright ,, See what there wearing so I can steal there secret fashion sense ,, An admire there outfits ,, Can sit an watch em for hours ,, There my favorite thing in the whole world ,, So sexy an Beautiful , Thats why we want to look like them . MEOWWWWWW


Stacy, You are too funny!!!!

[Pinky188]

I put all women up on a pedestal! They are amazeing, incredible, and wonderful creatures!!! I have the utmost respect for them all!!!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Katrina, I was taught at an early age to respect women.

[RADER]

I think that Girls are the best thing invented, since sliced bread and driveways.
Rader

[sonna]

i respect every body when i first meat them man,woman,cd,ts,tv doesent matter if your a good person then your a good person.
if your not then your not.

[drushin703]

k.black:


"Some see you in similes:Helen's rich curves,
colors autumn has. You please them as an
opium dream pleases, or you smile like the
sun is rising-"


This is a stanza from some of the most beautiful love poems ever written, (and whose words captivated me as a child) This Is My Beloved, by Walter Benton.
I learned the words in this book from cover to cover, reciting them when ever I could, either to a women I loved or to myself in the mirror.
I WORSHIP WOMEN AND ALL THAT THEY STAND FOR.....dana

[Barbara Ella]

I was always taught to be respectful, and have been so. With my realization of my crossdressing, i gained a new perspective and admiration. Just having men dress in women's clothing would not do much, as i truly believe we have an internal piece that they have repressed so long, it is missing in action, and the mere action of wearing a dress would not bring it back. We are special.

Babes

[Vickie_CDTV]

Of course I am very respectful to and greatly admire women, as someone like me who has lived a life that was primarily influenced by women it goes without saying.

Sadly, I have met a few trans folks folks over the years (TV and TS) who were not kind to their wives or GGs in general (a few were even physically abusive to their wives, as ironically pathetic as that is.)

[Misti]

I was taught at a very tender age to be respectful of ladies. I have lived this credo faithfull ever since, and will till the day I die; and probalbly beyond then, too?

My four (4) sisters, three (3) daughters, four (4) wives, numerous coached girls softball teams (including collegiate softball), et al., probably don't appreciate it, but I have been protective of all of them, to a fault.

I can better appreciate and understand what "they" have been going through, far, far better, now, but I don't think what I'm living, loving and learning now, has enhanced nor embellished upon, anything more than what was emblazened on me in my early upbringing. :2c:

[Bree-asaurus]

I dunno... I see crossdressers here who are respectful of women, and then I see crossdressers who take major issue with the fact that not every woman alive puts AT LEAST the same amount of effort into their presentation as themselves...

I think it takes a decent human being to be respectful of women, regardless of whether or not they're a crossdresser.

[DanaR]

Katrina, my situation is similar to yours. Places that I've worked are similar to what you describe as well. I've always been respectful of women and kind to them. What has been disturbing to me is how some women have treated me, because I'm male. It seems like many of them just have to get even or have hate running through their veins.

[Cheryl T]

Fully agree. If men spent the time as women as we do they would see things in a very different light.
I don't just mean wearing dresses and such, but spending time doing the things that women do more of in our society.

[ashlee chiffon]

I love Women..everything about them...they are so much more enjoyable to be around, talk to, learn from...their emotional, personable, beautiful *in all shapes and forms*, and much more Fun...then guys. I would have preferred being one genetically, but being a wannabe is the best I can do...Can't get enough of them!

[Marleena]

I respect women. Being raised by a single mom due to divorce gave me a better appreciation for them. I've never jumped on the macho bandwagon talk the guys use when together. I have treated each girlfriend with utmost respect (no cheating, lying, abuse etc.)

[Kate Simmons]

Well, it's obvious that gender cannot be ignored, that's a given but if we, as a society, thought more in terms of appreciating someone for who they are as a person, I think we'd be much better off Hon.:)

[TGMarla]

Like you, Katrina, I also respect women very much. I treat them largely as I would like to be treated if I were actually a woman. And there just might be a teensy bit of envy thrown in now and then.

[Stephenie S]

Respect for women?

Uhh, really? I still see an awful lot of posts asking why women can't put in the same effort a crossdressers does in their appearance.
And asking why, oh why, women don't wear stockings and heels anymore, or pretty dresses anymore. And probably wondering why we don't want to wear girdles and longline bras either.

Listen guys, women just want to be equal. We don't want to be worshiped. We don't want to be put on a pedestal. We just want equality. Respect for women means recognizing that women are people with all the rights and privileges that go along with being a human being in our society today.

We are experiencing the greatest threat to our equality today since the defeat of the Equal Rights Amendment. (Still not passed, guys. Still not passed).

Equality, not worship. Equality. That's true respect. And that's all we want.

Think about it.

S

[kimdl93]

If more men were inclinded to CD, that might change their perspective a bit. But I'm a little hesistant to suggest that all CDrs are respectful of women. I've seen enough instances right here to suggest otherwise.

[Imeni]

Equality is a double edged sword, Steph. Women want equality but still want men to treat them like women. Open doors, hold chairs, pay for dates. Alot of girls my age, (mid twenties), actually get pissed with me if I don't let them help pay. Like, really? I ask out a girl, yet no girl has ever made a move when interested in me. No girl I've met or been with have ever taken the initiative in the bedroom or out together. Women want to be treated the same way as men but yet, some wonder why we don't act all Chivalrous anymore. It's true what they say, Chivalry is dead. And women are the ones who killed it. :o I've never treated any girl different, crossdressing or otherwise, than I would expect to be treated in the same situation. But thats just being civil, not being kind or nice. I still open doors for older ladies, I still pay for my dates and help little old ladies with their bags to the car, even if I get a raised eyebrow from other people my age. D:

[BRANDYJ]

Really good post Katrina. I have often wondered what came first, the chicken or the egg so to speak. Am I a crossdresser because I grew to really admire and respect women so much that I wanted to dress and act like one. Or is it that I have kind of an over the top respect and admiration for women because I am a crossdresser. Regardless, I do not like what I see when it comes to men that think women are put on earth just to please and serve them. The guys that refer to their wives as "the ole lady", the b**ch, etc. Or the guys that will say whatever they think the women want to hear just for a roll in the hay. I've been told I show chivalry towards women. I do. I like opening and holding doors for them, pulling chairs out, and walking side by side and not in front of them (my SO) I want to be helpful when I can. But if that's over the top, then I'm thankful I feel this way towards the stronger, more beautiful, and empathetic, loving gender.

[docrobbysherry]

I agree with Sonna! I try to respect EVERYONE I meet. Until they prove undeserving!

I sometimes sit near groups of loud, young women at lunch. Or, hear them laughing and yelling in their cars at stop lites. Some of them talk like drunken sailors in a brothel! Using the F word often and not caring who hears! Even teen boys didn't do THAT out in public when I was young!

[Lynn Marie]

I've been fortunate in my life to have had a few really wonderful women who've taught me a thing or two. To them, I'm eternally grateful. Therefore respect for women has always come naturally for me even to the point of awkwardness in my youth. A few more years and a little CDing has brought with it a lot more confidence.

[Karren H]

Wearing different clothing isn't going to make A-hole men (or women) better people and certainly won't help make the world a better place... Imho. It will just be prettier! Lol.

[Stephanie47]

I was raised to be respectful to everyone-male and female, young and old, etc, etc. I will agree there is much male banter in the workplace and bars-basically everywhere that is not respectful of women. But, I've also heard female banter of the same vane.

Since my wife is still working, while I am retired, I do as much as the daily chores as possible. Right now I'm waiting for one of her favorite cakes to finish baking. I prepared dinner four out of five workdays of the week. The other day we usually eat dinner out. It is a manner of being respectful of her position in the household. Of course, being dolled up in a dress and heels makes my toil a lot more pleasant than doing it en homme.

Anyway, being a cross dresser has made me more appreciative of women who take care of themselves and make themselves more attractive to their man. Although, I am a dress kind of cross dresser, I do realize dresses are not the first choice for all women. However, a woman who presents herself tastefully in jeans, pants or dress with a hint of makeup or more is really appreciated by me. I know from personal experience :) it takes some effort to present oneself in an attractive manner.

[suchacutie]

Karren is right that just wearing clothes will likely not make an impression, but it never quite stops there, does it. Even if it only starts there, the more involved it gets the more we have to have an understanding of what it takes to be a woman, and what it's like to grow up as a woman.

That kind of understanding in all men would go a long way in changing how the genders view each other. IMHO.

Tina

[Crissy Kay]

Now to rain on this parade. IMO its important that men treat women as equals. But women will never be equal to men, until they stand shoulder to shoulder with us on the battlefield.

[whowhatwhen]

Let me put it this way, I see women as a lot better than men for quite a few reasons.
One of them being that I have a really, really low opinion of men.

They can be pretty hot though, depending on my mood.
:P

[Silentpartner GG SO]

I agree that the hard-core feminists pushed the whole equality thing too far - as with so many situations, you get a few radicals that make a lot of noise and ruin things for the rest of us. Nobody asked me what I wanted when the women's lib movement were yapping on about women's rights. Yes, I want to be treated like an equal human being, and if I do a job same as a man, I expect to be paid the same for it - I deserve and expect the same protection in law as a man - but yes, of course I want to be treated like a woman, I AM a woman. How else should I expect to be treated?

If someone is walking behind me when I exit through a door, I automatically hold it open for them, irrespective of their gender, because I am a polite human being but I've had many occasions when a man in front of me has just let a door slam back onto me. Its not about gender, its about manners.

As for what clothing woman wear, I've no idea what women wear in the Mid-west but I would imagine the jobs available are very different from those in NYC and maybe require different clothing?.

A lot of the CD'ers here dress in their spare time, and spare time is exactly that - spare - its time when you do what you want, at leisure, so you can spend as much time as you like preening and doing your make-up, nails etc. Its fun to you, but its not something that is expected of you day in day out - you can choose to do it or not. I think its pretty naff to be judgmental about how GG's dress, and decry them because they may not put on make up or wear nail polish etc. every day. Maybe they have to work to help the family income, maybe they have to do a cra**y job cleaning toilets or sweeping streets etc. anything to earn the money in these times when jobs are few and millions are unemployed. The last thing such a women is going to care about is whether she has the right shade of nail varnish on, or that she didnt have time to do her make up this morning.

Maybe in someone's perfect fantasy world men would work and earn loads of money to keep their wife and kids in the manner they'd like to be accustomed, and the wife would stay at home, looking beautiful and doing her housework in her heels and pretty dress with her perfect make up, hair and nails - but whose fantasy is it? Certainly not the fantasy of a lot of women I know - not mine either.

In respect of law and jobs - every person irrespective of gender should have the same right to get the same pay for the same job, and to have the law protect them equally.

I'm sure you will find many women would happily stand shoulder to shoulder in battle with the men - if the powers that be would allow them. The stock answer until now, from the ones in charge, has been that they shouldnt serve alongside men because they were seen as too much of a distraction.

[Piora]

I've always preferred the company of women. I get along with women far more than I do with men. I generally have far more female friends than male friends. I enjoy books and movies that have a female protagonist the most. I have an immense admiration for women, and their amazing strengths. It is because I admire the very essence of femininity that I try so very hard to emulate them. Naturally, as a man, I admire their beauty, their grace and their uniqueness.

[Sue Too]

I think that Girls are the best thing invented, since sliced bread and driveways.
Rader

But Radar--------You can't compare the two. You dont have to shovel girls. <<<giggle>>>

Susan in Phoenix

[Hali]

A part from the fact that women can really look cute, sexy and colorful i admire their personality. Majority of them dont engage in rough acts, they are very low risk takers and always cautious avoiding body harm. I see them as more understanding of human weaknesses and nature makes them and children to have those angelic faces so that men should not decent on them with the iron fists like they do on other men. Their ability to enjoy life is better than men they appreciate more little-little things than men do.

My CDing help me to experience how vulnerable they are when out in the night without a company cos of the harassment i get when strolling alone, i now know and feel how weak they can be in the presence of men.

[daviolin]

I see women as a precious gift from God. Daviolin

[Kelli Ca]

I agree if more men embraced tnrie femn side and let loose it might be a better world. I have always been very respectful and in tune with wome, could be cause I never knew dad, my wife and I have a great relationship with lots of respct 4 each other

[busker]

The stock answer until now, from the ones in charge, has been that they shouldnt serve alongside men because they were seen as too much of a distraction.

I do think the reason has mmore to do with biological factors than anything else---in a combat situation. It would be impossible to plan when a portion of your troops are on sick call for a week or so every month. some women, I understand, can have very bad periods and that would not work in the field. It has nothing to do with whether or not women can do the hazardous duty of field combat, it is a logistics problem.
Someday, women will have equal rights, but it won't happen until they really want them, and work to get them--I don't hear any clamor for the ERA either from men or women.. one would think that in the 21st century, this would be a given situation that all have equal rights (we only get them--or lose them--by congressional laws--,) but when you have presidential material that still believes "barefoot and pregnant" we're not going to go very far.

[docrobbysherry]

[QUOTE=Silentpartner GG SO;2792620]I agree that the hard-core feminists pushed the whole equality thing too far - QUOTE]

If it makes you feel any better Silent, even the frumpiest of girls looks better in baggy clothes than I do in a dress. They seem to have curves in places that I don't. : P

I believe that's why they invented corsets and girdles, Silk!?

[Stephenie S]

Hmm. I just read all the posts since my plea.

I rest my case.

Auntie Stphenie

[GaleWarning]

I think there are very few differences between men and women.
I try to treat women as equals. I do not place them on a pedistal.
I distrust them as much as I distrust men.
We are equally capable of being wonderful, kind and caring.
We are equally capable of being real shitty.

[Elle1946]

I agree with you 100%.

[KimberlyJean]

I used to think my sense of presence came from my size, but I have lost alot of muscle mass and I have more force of personality than when I was younger and bigger. I firmly believe that if I was a woman I would be able to carry the same aura as I do now. Alot more men would have a problem with it. I believe as a strong woman instead of an alpha male I could do my job and have the same respect I have now. My wife does the same job I do and she sometimes has problems with men who don't want to follow a woman but she is a petite woman and doesn't have the same presence I do. I could be totally wrong and maybe I wouldn't have developed this way if I had been born a girl, when I go out I am treated quite a bit different than when I go out as a man but I am trying to blend in, not be in charge.

[Silentpartner GG SO]

[QUOTE=Silentpartner GG SO;2792620]I agree that the hard-core feminists pushed the whole equality thing too far - QUOTE]

If it makes you feel any better Silent, even the frumpiest of girls looks better in baggy clothes than I do in a dress. They seem to have curves in places that I don't. : P

lol - some of us have curves where we'd rather not - eg: I know my bum looks big in this!

It doesnt really matter what we wear though does it, or even how we look in what we wear - its what's inside that counts - inner beauty never fades - and that's what I'm gonna keep telling myself every time I look in the mirror and see some old hag where there used to be a young, firm quite attractive female!

[Ally 2112]

I myself have always admired and respected women maybe because i crossdress? im not really sure .I have 2 daughters and always told them to be whatever and whoever they could be and to never be held back by societies rules .One is an acountant and the other basically a homemaker im proud of both !

[Noemi]

I see the soul of a person then the rest. I am more vibe first then ask questions later.
I hear you Katrina, I work in around allot of men and they tell me what they are thinking about the women and it is gross. But some of these men are my friends, well a couple, one in particular has two daughters and is a good man, that I value. Perhaps they enjoy feeling like a stud for a minute. They have no idea who they are speaking too LOL, Me I am meaning, who is very girly in spirit.
I love women and really wish I was born one. I would have made a wonderful Mom, and a good wife.....
Sometimes when I am with women, and they stop hitting on me, I am quite at ease. A few have read me as one of the girls, but at this time I avoid that, being tg'd is my own business.

[Miriam-J]

I've hung back from this conversation because (a) I'm on vacation and not checking in for long and (b) I expected the same sort of comments as usual of two types:
- "Yes, I respect [and perhaps worship] all women"
- "I respect women but understand why they shouldn't be in certain fields (e.g., military)"

Sure enough, I've seen both of these aplenty. But I've also seen some really insightful things that I really appreciate, most notably from Stephanie and Silent Partner (as always for her).

As some have insisted, it really does come down to each person doing what it takes to earn respect, whether male or female. Do your share in the household, even when dressed up. Accept and enjoy your SO's choice of clothing and makeup, even if it doesn't match your personal ideal for them. Speak respectfully all the time, and with no bigotry toward any of the world's variants. By doing all of this and more, you make the most of your complete set of positive masculine and feminine attributes to improve the life of your partner and family, and of others in your life. Thus you show respect to the women in your life and others.

I must confess that much of the above is informed by my recent vacation read, "My Husband Wears My Clothes: Crossdressing From the Perspective of a Wife". I found this recommended on one of the recent threads and have found it to be beyond its billing. The writer really seems to understand those of us who are CDs. Take a look.

Oh yeah, in answer to the opening question ... I see women as they present themselves. If they present themselves with dignity and show respect toward others, they have certainly earned my respect. If they present as bigots, ****s, or other negative characters, it's a lot harder. They are human beings first, just like us.

Miriam

[Frédérique]

How you see women. I feel im very respectful of women and all they deal with in a mans world .. I also work in a 99% male enviorment which really even these days tends to not be all that respectful of women.. just wondering? I bet most crossdressers really respect all that women have to deal with ..and if more men dressed it might be a better world. your thoughts??

I like to read science fiction novels that take place 10,000 years hence, and, even though there are strong female characters throughout, there are still the same basic male “attitudes” towards females being trotted out – I don’t know whether to laugh or cry! When men get together they tend to distance themselves from any hint of effeminacy, preferring to use masculinity as a form of bluff or one-upmanship. I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced it, and I do not subscribe to it. I respect women, and what women have to deal with, but they really aren’t that different from men. Do women respect ME? It’s more important to respect the individual, and not be so “black and white” about these things...

Do you suppose that GG’s have a difficult time with MtF crossdressers because CD’s transgress this imaginary boundary between the sexes? I mean, if they require (or at least expect) respect by way of deference, does this somehow undermine things? Surely crossdressing must threaten the status quo in some way, and, even though it can be seen as a form of showing respect (by way of emulation), it can also be seen by women as visual (and emotional) ridicule. I “see” women much differently since I started to crossdress, which is why I openly state that I do not wish to become one of them – I am a happy hybrid, of sorts...

Frankly, my dear, the whole thing is a DRAG...:heehee:

[ReineD]

Women want equality but still want men to treat them like women.

This is an accurate description of how I feel. I want my contributions to be valued as much as a man's, but I don't want to be confused for a man.

As confusing as it has been in the last few decades for men to witness women's changing roles and determining where they fit in all of this, I must admit that changing roles for women have been confusing for me as well. In my 20s I was staunchly independent, commanding a respectable salary, yet I seemed to have known the difference between men and women's social roles. I loved it when doors were opened for me and I loved feeling as if I was desired as a woman. Then I became a mom and was dependent financially on my ex, which unfortunately in our relationship caused an imbalance and I sort of lost myself in the process. I swung way too far the other way. Now come my 50s and there is no way I ever want to be dependent on anyone ever again. I'm in a relationship with a CDer who is the most egalitarian person I've ever met which satisfies my need for independence and equality, but now I feel guilty taking on a woman's role because in my mind it throws me back to the dysfunctional inequality I experienced in my marriage and also it is not something that my SO wants (I believe) in a relationship.

I know this doesn't make sense. But it sucks being my age and still struggling to know how I fit in the world and what role I should play in a relationship. :p

[Miriam-J]

I was out with my wife tonight, me in guy mode and her in a sexy little dress - unusual for her, but too bad since she looked really hot. I asked her about when we go out sometime with me in a skirt and her in her usual slacks ... would she open the doors for me instead? Got a definite maybe.

Is this equality? ;-)