Using the Ladies Room....

[Chloe75]

I have noticed an increasing amount of posts stating that CDrs are using the ladies restroom when en femme. There is a certain thrill that goes along with doing this and where are we supposed to go anyway? but I have often wondered if this is what we should be doing. I have never used the women's restroom because it is disrespectful to women and our society not to mention illegal in many states and counties. The thought of guys (many of whom are straight) in the restroom with children or wives gives concern to many people. There needs to be a level of responsibility on our part if we choose to dress like this. We must accept all that goes with it. That is why I believer that the use of Ladies restrooms should be off limits. It will only cause greater disrespect to us and others. Many stores such as Kohls have "Family Restrooms." I think it would be promote greater respect if we would limit our use to these kind of restrooms. :battingeyelashes:

[Sandra]

Well I'm a woman and I don't find it disrespectful, so long as they go in do what they need to do and leave without causing trouble then were is the problem. What if there isn't any family rooms? do you expect someone who is dressed to use the male toilets?

[Gerrijerry]

I agree with Sandra. When you need to go you need to go. That is all you need to do in the ladies room. No one will make a fuse if that is it. Do not fix makeup hair etc. It can be very dangerous for a person dressed female to enter the mens room.

[Eryn]

I will disagree with the OP. I'm in favor of the path of least disruption. It is far less disrupting for me to use the facility for the gender I am presenting. 99% of the time I will be completely unnoticed whereas if I were to use the opposite facility I would be noticed every single time which would be far more disruptive and downright dangerous.

[Vanessa Storrs]

I look upon the Ladies Room as the final frontier of crossdressing. I have been to the Ladies a few times but am still very nervous about using it. Recently I was in a casino in Las Vegas and had to use the facilities, I went into a fairly crowded men's room and as I entered an older gentleman took one glance at me and said, "I don't think you belong here." He may have been right, I am going to start using the ladies.

[Kristy_K]

I agree with Sandra. When you need to go you need to go. That is all you need to do in the ladies room. No one will make a fuse if that is it. Do not fix makeup hair etc. It can be very dangerous for a person dressed female to enter the mens room.

I would also agree until you get a F on your drivers licence.

Kristy

[Pinky188]

Whats the big deal? Your in girl mode so, you look like a woman. You walk in, go into a stall, shut the door and do you business. (remember to pull as you pee, to keep it real!) No disrespect at all. I do it and No one has ever been offended.

[Shelly Preston]

I live in the UK so I have no experience of the reaction in the USA.

I use the ladies restroom and I am not there for the thrill.
The only reason I am there is to answer the call of nature. If I need to fix my make up I will, just like any Genetic Woman would. However I dont not stay a second longer than necessary. If you have the option to use the family restroom, and that is more comfortable for you then thats ok.

Using the male restroom would probably cause havoc, not to mention being dangerous.

[RADER]

I totally agree with Sandra; After all, women rest rooms are equipped with individual
stalls for each Water Closet (Toilet) You have a degree of privacy you do not have in a mens
restroom. Mens generally have a set of urinals, and they do not always have privacy partitions
along side them.
Rader

[kimdl93]

I totally disagree. First, there's no thrill involved in using a rest room. Its a biological necessity. Besides, there isn't anything going on in a women's restroom that is remotely titilatting. One would have to be somewhat confused to think otherwise.

Furthermore, when I any other CDr is presenting as a woman, we are legally and ethically entitled to use a woman's restroom in most states. Your assert that this is some how disrespectful. In what way is using a bathroom "disrespectful"?

[sissystephanie]

I certainly have to agree with Kim. If you are dressed and presenting as a woman, than you should use the ladies restroom. That is just common sense! And there is no disrespect involved in a man dressed and presenting as a woman using a women's bathroom!! He is only doing what nature intended!!

As far as I am concerned, I do go out in public dressed as a female. But I now wear no makeup and no wig. So I am definitely a man in feminine clothing. I always use the mens room, because it is where I belong!!

[Chloe75]

Of course using the men's room is not an option it would cause way too much "disruption." That is not my concern. The "thrill" is being more like a woman by using the ladies room which many other posts have attested to. I personally don't find any thrill either in the idea. :)

[ArleneRaquel]

No thrill for me in regard to using the ladies room when I'm presenting as a female, it's a necessity and seems very natural. Eryn is 100% correct.

[Eryn]

The thrill for me lasted about two visits. After that the reality of the added difficulty of dealing with female garments and making sure I didn't mess up my look settled in. Women's stalls always have a hook for my purse and often have a bit more room, an important consideration when wrestling with garments. I seldom tarry in the room, but will check my lipstick if nobody else is there.

One thing to consider is to not go to the restroom as a group when out with sisters. One or two of us will go unnoticed whereas several tend to stand out.

[Cheryl T]

If there is a family restroom I will use it.
If not, then I'm using the Ladies Restroom.
I'm not subjecting myself to ridicule and possible physical harm by using the mensroom when I'm presenting as a woman.
I just go in, do my business, wash my hands and leave. I don't linger or loiter or chat people up. I've been doing this for 7 years and have encountered women (are they or are they other cd's???) and women with children. All interactions have been pleasant without confrontation.

And just to make things clear...there has never been any "Thrill" for me in using the ladies room....it's strictly a call of nature.
If you get your thrills this way then I would say you need to rethink why you do this.

[Aprilrain]

as a parent I can tell you that I would be highly annoyed if I was waiting to use the family restroom, with small kids in tow, and out comes a single person who could have used the the regular restrooms.

[Cynthia Anne]

I try not to go in public! But SOMETIMES A GIRLS GOTTA DO WHAT A GIRLS GOTTA DO!
I very much respect Sandra's comment! Hugs!

[TxKimberly]

Gonna have to disagree with the OP - using the ladies room is NOT being disrespectful of women, at least it is not inherently so. Now if you go in there with some perverted intent to try and "sneak a peek" then THAT is being disrespectful. The only "thrill" I ever got from using the ladies room was the terror that some ultra conservative and paranoid person might try to make a fuss over it - something that has never happened. Because of that concern, I DO try to use the Family / Special Needs restrooms where available though.

[Pinky188]

To me this is a non issue! If your not a perv, then go pee, touch up your makeup and leave. But, if I was in there and some guy dressed as a girl was in there acting all weird and just hanging out, I would have to kick his *** out of there! When your in your gender, you know where to go pee! Its very simple.

[Debglam]

For a lot of us this is about gender which is clearly a topic unto itself. It is for me however. I dress to come as close to being a woman as my circumstances will allow. I believe that Susan Stryker said something to the effect that one definition of gender is how we interact with the world. When I am out and dressed I interact with the world as a woman. Not as a man dressed as a woman. Since the law permits it, I use the women's rest rooms and dressing rooms. Not for any kind of thrill but simply to take care of my business as a woman. I go in, wait in line, use the facility, wash my hands and check my makeup then get out.

[Piora]

I'm closeted, never have gone out, and consequently never have had it come up. However IF I was out, dressed enfemme, I would most definitely use a Ladies Washroom. You walk in, make as little eye contact as possible, go into your stall, and do your thing. Check yourself in the mirror before you leave. You're in contact with others in there only for a few seconds.

Face it, if you're dressed, it's going to cause problems if you walk into a Men's Room, isn't it? I don't see it being disrespectful at all.

[Jilmac]

I believe using the ladies room when en femme is a given. As long as there are individual stalls that provide privacy, there should be no problem.

[Eryn]

as a parent I can tell you that I would be highly annoyed if I was waiting to use the family restroom, with small kids in tow, and out comes a single person who could have used the the regular restrooms.

You do make a good point. I've noted that places that have family restroom faciities seem to have no diaper-changing facilities from the regular restrooms. It does make sense, since both genders can access the changing facility in the family restroom.. I think that I would agree with April if I had infant who needed changing. It certainly would be a way to come under the direct scrutiny of a not-so-happy mother.

[PretzelGirl]

Addressing a couple of other points in the OP... First, welcome to probably the second most discussed topic around here (next to anything panty related). So it isn't just an increase, but something that gets tossed around a lot. So make yourself comfortable, you will see this subject again (and there might be a quiz after :heehee:).

But I also contend it isn't illegal in most places. There have been a lot of people posting here and I have seen very few that have come up with specific laws. There are actually some states that have laws that allow it. Here is a good reference to start with (one reference is never all encompassing) whenever talking about law and discrimination:

http://www.transgenderlaw.org/

[Helen_Highwater]

While it's not universally true across all of France, it some locations toilets are gender neutral or dual function with both stalls and urinals but usually laid out so the men stand with their backs towards the door and the stalls immediately inside; so it would need to be an inquisitive woman who would get to "see anything". It's a far more relaxed country when it comes to issues of gender. As long as you're discrete C'est la vie.

[StaceyJane]

I always use the ladies room while en femme. I mean really how could I use the men's room. I do my business and get out. No sneaking a peak.
Just to make a point about using the ladies room I've have even used the ladies room in the Texas State Capitol Building. No problem at all.

[Sara Jessica]

I have noticed an increasing amount of posts stating that CDrs are using the ladies restroom when en femme. There is a certain thrill that goes along with doing this and where are we supposed to go anyway? but I have often wondered if this is what we should be doing. I have never used the women's restroom because it is disrespectful to women and our society not to mention illegal in many states and counties. The thought of guys (many of whom are straight) in the restroom with children or wives gives concern to many people. There needs to be a level of responsibility on our part if we choose to dress like this. We must accept all that goes with it. That is why I believer that the use of Ladies restrooms should be off limits. It will only cause greater disrespect to us and others. Many stores such as Kohls have "Family Restrooms." I think it would be promote greater respect if we would limit our use to these kind of restrooms. :battingeyelashes:

Without reading a word of the replies (I cannot wait to do so when I'm finished), I thought I would chime in which how I disagree with you on so many levels.

1. You describe this as some sort of thrill. Because that's the case, perhaps it's best that you refrain from entering a ladies' room.

2. Where are we supposed to go anyway? This is one idea you posted which is right on the money. I'll be darned if I'm going to enter a men's room while presenting as female.

3. Disrespectful to women? In general, I think not. Sure, there will always be a segment of society who, when the question is posed, will always rally against the thought of a "guy" in a women's restroom. But one thing you have to keep in mind is that when presenting as female, and assuming such presentation is respectful to women, that is the first line of disarming others when it comes to perception. At first glance, you are NOT a guy in the ladies room. It takes a moment to process exactly what you are and more often than not, by the time this happens the disarming has already taken place.

4. If given an opportunity, I will use a family restroom but in my years of travels, I can only think of one time that has happened. Many Starbucks have single-stall restrooms that have locks on the doors. Those are my first choice but I will not hesitate to use a ladies room if there is a need.

Legality is often talked about in these pages and I have yet to hear of any legal issues with using the ladies room in the places I travel. But it's important to remember that the women's restroom is not a place to test the waters as far as being part of a ladies' sorority. It's not the best way to primp & preen in the mirror hoping for small talk on makeup, hair & glamour in general. Instead, do what needs to be done, wash your hands and make your exit and chances are excellent that you will have no issues. In other words, linger at your own peril.

[Amber Chen]

I use the restroom of the gender that I'm presenting as at that moment. I've been out female clothes shopping (crossdressed, with a GG friend), and used the women's dressing rooms to try on clothes, and we both went to the ladies room when we needed to 'go'. I've also gone to the ladies room when out on a date (with a male bf). Never had any problems or issues. Just do your business and leave.

[Badtranny]

This is a polarizing issue and I can argue it either way with almost the same conviction. I say almost because a CD is more likely to get in an altercation in a Men's than in a Women's room so I tend to lean towards the "presentation" rule.

On the other hand there was a thread here fairly recently about how to manage the "excitement" and resulting fluids that one might experience when trying on clothes. This site is a bit prudish so that tends to keep a lid on the creepy posts, but let's not pretend that there are not a significant number of creepy closet cases that do indeed get their jollies by inhabiting female spaces.


I'm closeted, never have gone out, and consequently never have had it come up. However IF I was out, dressed enfemme, I would most definitely use a Ladies Washroom. You walk in, make as little eye contact as possible, go into your stall, and do your thing. Check yourself in the mirror before you leave. You're in contact with others in there only for a few seconds.

...I've never been skiing but IF I ever did, I would be sure to not fall because that looks painful.

[Leslie Langford]

Good points, Sara - and I might also add that all these strict "rules" around which sex/gender uses which washroom fly out the window when a parent with a young opposite-sex child is out in public, and the tyke suddenly "has to go".

In the absence of a family washroom, the Dad then takes his daughter over to the men's washroom, and the Mom takes her son into the ladies' washroom to do their business in a locked stall, and no one ever gets bent out of shape when they do that. It's just plain common sense...

[JessHaust]

I think that from the posts so far it is safe to assume that the correct procedure is to use the restroom of the gender you are currently presenting.
When I first started going out I was terrified of the girls room, but I had my wife to go with me, so it was OK. Then came the time she was did not go out or was doing something else and I could not drag my support with me. I went and was scared, but not so much. Like everything, with time and exposure your fears , or 'thrill' in some cases, will subside. Whenever we get a new girl on an outing the subject always comes up, and I try to go with them just to show them that it's OK. Really the girls room is much easier than the Mens. All the stalls have doors and there are no urinals, so no public exposure! Just slip in to a stall and do your business. And most of the time you will find the GG's in there are cool. I have gotten lots of compliments in the girls room. Again the attitude is the key, act like you belong, and people will treat you like you belong.

[linda allen]

It would be great if every place had individual unisex restrooms. It's not that way around here. It's pretty rare to even find a single "family" restroom.

That creates a problem for the crossdresser. Some of us can pass as females. Some of us think we pass but probably don't except at twenty feeet or more or in the dark. Some of us can't pass or don't even try.

If you can't or don't try to pass, you have a problem when it comes time to use the restroom. The last time this happened to me, I went into the woods and peed on a tree. That's not always an option.

I have yet to use a ladies room but I have used a couple unisex porta potties. I've identified two family restrooms (in malls) so I'll be better prepared next time. I need more prep work and experience to be able to walk into the ladies room to do my business with confidence.

[EllieOPKS]

I don't take chances. If I have to go, I just drive to the airport and get on a plane. Problem solved.

[JessHaust]

Passing is not an issue, no GG in any of the bathrooms I ever went in thought I was anything but a cross dresser. You guys have to get that out of your head! It's your attitude, not your looks, that matter.

[Katesback]

Its nice to see at lease one person REALLY figure it out.

If you have to ask the question then you probably wont fit in the ladies room.




Passing is not an issue, no GG in any of the bathrooms I ever went in thought I was anything but a cross dresser. You guys have to get that out of your head! It's your attitude, not your looks, that matter.

[Beverley Sims]

I don't take chances. If I have to go, I just drive to the airport and get on a plane. Problem solved.

New town new day and still more unisex toilets.
No unnecessary risks for me.

[Acastina]

I think that from the posts so far it is safe to assume that the correct procedure is to use the restroom of the gender you are currently presenting.
When I first started going out I was terrified of the girls room, but I had my wife to go with me, so it was OK. Then came the time she was did not go out or was doing something else and I could not drag my support with me. I went and was scared, but not so much. Like everything, with time and exposure your fears , or 'thrill' in some cases, will subside. Whenever we get a new girl on an outing the subject always comes up, and I try to go with them just to show them that it's OK. Really the girls room is much easier than the Mens. All the stalls have doors and there are no urinals, so no public exposure! Just slip in to a stall and do your business. And most of the time you will find the GG's in there are cool. I have gotten lots of compliments in the girls room. Again the attitude is the key, act like you belong, and people will treat you like you belong.

I was looking for the right comment to reply to, since most of the posts here have pretty much boxed in this recurring issue. I found the OP to be contradictory and not well-informed. Perhaps in the more conservative parts of the US there are still laws or law-enforcers who consider the use by a biological/anatomical male of a public restroom designated for women to be disorderly or expressly illegal, but that is certainly not the case where modern civil-rights laws exist. Many have noted the much higher likelihood of problems if one presenting as a woman were to use the men's room. In the ladies' room there is always doubt, even for the marginally passable, but in the other one there would be none, and a "man in a dress" would not fare well.

What I like about Jess's comment is the advice to act like you belong there. A matter-of-fact, no-big-deal attitude is most of what you need to answer nature's calls without incident; commonsense discretion is almost all of the rest, and the luck of the draw is the only real variable (it's certainly prudent to observe comings and goings before choosing to enter). Simply put, most people, especially women, are too polite to call someone out or confront them if there is the slightest doubt and one is well-behaved; in the OP's words, respectful. That respect derives from how you conduct yourself, not the mere fact of entering that imagined sanctuary for the same reasons as all the other humans do.

I would also disagree somewhat with those who counsel beating as fast a retreat as possible. There is nothing unusual about women pausing before the mirror to check their clothing, hair, or makeup, and not doing so may arouse more suspicion than taking a few moments to wash your hands and have a look. Women do not avoid eye contact or conversation the way men do in their uptight sanctuary, so relax, smile as needed, and respond if a fellow loo-user says something (other than "what are you doing here?"; to which the proper response is "I had to pee"). If your heart is pounding and your eyes have crossed just being there, you're more at risk than if you relax and use the facility as intended. If your anxiety is that high, you have more work to do internally if you're going to go out.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

As for me, when dressed as a woman I will use the womans restroom and so should everyone that is presenting as a woman. I can't believe that it would cause anyone that has an open mind and a true heart any offense if I use the womans restroom for what a restroom was meant to be used for. As for anyone that would get offended, they can leave and come back when I am done.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I have noticed an increasing amount of posts stating that CDrs are using the ladies restroom when en femme. There is a certain thrill that goes along with doing this

A thrill..
This is why people have an issue with it..

It's not cut and dry... i realize many folks are just wanting to pee without getting beat up...but many are in it for the thrill and that's bs to say its ok to go into the bathroom for a thrill..and there is no way to tell you apart

there are gender neutral bathrooms... they exist because by definition other bathrooms are NOT gender neutral..

[Katesback]

A thrill to go to the bathroom! Yuck, makes me wonder if they are rubbing it while in there. And the CDs say they want to be treated like women. Well they arent women, they are men. Simple as that. If they have thier crap toghether and can pull off a decent presentation then fine use the bathroom. If they are going in there to get a thrill and rub the rubarb then use the Men's room because thats where they belong. Crap they might even get lucky if they use the Men's room, and at the very least not scare the crap out of women.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Because of this " thrill " I have an issue with it.

As a woman I would not want a fetish driven man in the women's room.
If you need to get a rush to complete some sort of sexual thrill I have many friends who who hang you from the rafters with a leather belt.
The rest room is NOT for this!!

If your a cross dresser that honestly needs to use the women's restroom because your dressed enfemme I have absolutely no issue with you.


Julia


A thrill..
This is why people have an issue with it..

It's not cut and dry... i realize many folks are just wanting to pee without getting beat up...but many are in it for the thrill and that's bs to say its ok to go into the bathroom for a thrill..and there is no way to tell you apart

there are gender neutral bathrooms... they exist because by definition other bathrooms are NOT gender neutral..

[Ari333]

As for me, when dressed as a woman I will use the womans restroom and so should everyone that is presenting as a woman. I can't believe that it would cause anyone that has an open mind and a true heart any offense if I use the womans restroom for what a restroom was meant to be used for. As for anyone that would get offended, they can leave and come back when I am done.

I think if you are dressed as a woman then you should use the ladies room. I've done it, and I assure you theres no thrill to it if you REALLY gotta pee! :) and their restrooms are usually much nicer!

[Paulette]

Yes indeed this is a well traveled road. I always use the women's restroom when dressed. As for the thrill of standing in line waiting for an empty stall with a bladder about to burst, I can go an entire lifetime before I enjoy that thrill again. I have noticed that if you enter the restroom, find a stall, take care of your business, and step out into the sink area to wash your hands and possibly fix your makeup and hair, none of this take a lifetime. I have had to wait for a stall and then wait to wash my hands and the GG's in the room where all doing the exact same thing waiting. When dressed as a woman you need to learn to wait. Everyone is trying to done what needs to be done and I have never heard anyone tell the girl at the sink to hurry up.

Once you get out and about in the public you are going to have to use the restroom at some point. Be confident when entering and do not hang around unnecessarily.

[Leilani]

Just throwing this out as the Devils advocate but, if people want to change attitudes about crossdressers, would the better course of action perhaps be to use the men's room and try to get people more used to seeing cd's out and about? Just throwing it out there as the counter argument. For full disclosure, I have not used the men's or women's in public while dressed.

[Eryn]

Because of this " thrill " I have an issue with it.

People who hang out in bathrooms for the thrill are a vanishingly small minority, one that exists mostly in the minds of nutbar politicians like that idiot in Tennessee who threatened to "stomp a mudhole into and stomp him dry" any TG person he caught violating the sanctity of a woman's room. Now that's a reaasonable person.

Honestly, when was the last time any of us heard about an incident of a man getting caught loitering in a woman's bathroom? A juicy story like that would be sure to hit the news, yet incidents of this sort just don't seem to be very prevelant.

Perhaps there are more important topics to consider...

[linda allen]

It's hard for me to understand the attitudes of this forum sometimes.

I have a thread going about being asked to leave the women's dressing room area at a department store while my wife was trying on nightgowns. The majority of the posters sided with the SA at the store.

Now we come to this thread and the majority are siding with using the ladies restroom if you are dressed or partially dressed even if you don't pass.

I don't get it.

[Julia_in_Pa]

And you based this minority on what statistical data Eryn?

As I said before if you are a cross dresser dressed en femme and legitimately need to use the women's restroom I have no issue with you doing so.

If your a sexual fetishist I have a HUGE problem if I knew you were in the women's rest room.

In fact I would report you. If you didn't have the correct documentation and we were in a state where it was illegal to use the women's rest room without changed documents you receive everything you deserve.


Julia

People who hang out in bathrooms for the thrill are a vanishingly small minority, one that exists mostly in the minds of nutbar politicians like that idiot in Tennessee who threatened to "stomp a mudhole into and stomp him dry" any TG person he caught violating the sanctity of a woman's room. Now that's a reaasonable person.

Honestly, when was the last time any of us heard about an incident of a man getting caught loitering in a woman's bathroom? A juicy story like that would be sure to hit the news, yet incidents of this sort just don't seem to be very prevelant.

Perhaps there are more important topics to consider...

[Jessica Who]

If you go in just to do your business and wash up, I don't see the problem so long as you are completely presenting as a woman from head to toe.

[Sarasometimes]

The JCP post had the gent in male attire which is very different than what we are now discussing. I think it requires some judgement and uncommon sense (used to be common). I try to plan my day to avoid stressful situations and i find the need to use a womens restroom stressful due to the uncertainty. As stated most times it will be uneventful but should timing be bad and you cross paths with a mom and daughter or just a woman who is uneasy with you being there whether the law protects you or not it will be a scene. I don't go out to be part of a "Scene" so i try and plan. Starbucks usually have one seaters and nearly every salon in america has a restroom (I just walk in and ask if I may use it). Some places have family restrooms as well. On the rare occasions when planing didn't work, I used the ladies room for the soul purpose and went on my way.
I would never attempt to use the men's room becuase I think of the two options the safer one for ME is the ladies. I live in NJ where they have a public accomodation statute that requires all businesses to a accomodate based on gender expression so in the end I may be covered but I don't have any desire to find that out firsthand.
As for the thrill concept, not me.

[Nigella]

Out of 49 responses to this thread, only one post suggests a thrill element to it? Why has that got to be sexual, I certainly haven't read that.

I wonder if some found out they had won a mill $$$ the thrill they got was sexual. Come on, stop painting CDs as perverts, the majority of them are nice gentlemen who prefer to wear ladies clothing, that does not make them sexual perverts.

[Badtranny]

It's hard for me to understand the attitudes of this forum sometimes.

Well Linda, some of us are willing to suffer the slings and arrows that come from intellectual honesty and a consistent perspective, and others are not.

[Kristy_K]

Facts are facts, Woman don't use men's bathrooms.

[Eryn]

And you based this minority on what statistical data Eryn?

I base it on the dearth of reports, which indicates that this is a non-issue. Have you any statistics to the contrary, other than the imaginings of a whacko state legislator?

There is no problem here that is not addressed by lewd behavior laws. The problem is that some would like a GM's mere presence in the facility to be defined as lewd.

[JessHaust]

Facts are facts, Woman don't use men's bathrooms.
Maybe because most men's room have only 2 toliets and tons of urinals!

[Eryn]

Facts are facts, Woman don't use men's bathrooms.

Actually, they do, when the line for the women's room is too long and nature's call is too insistant.

[Chloe Renee]

The first couple times I used the ladies room it wasn't a thrill I was feeling. Extreme nervousness and fear that almost overcame my need to use the restroom. Why you may ask? Well, despite being dressed and presenting as female my biggest fear was being confronted just trying to use the bathroom. I would try to use a unisex bathroom when ever possible.
As my confidence as a woman grew those feelings passed, now I just do what I need and move on.

I cannot wrap my head around the the thrill.

[randomperson]

I would be terrified to enter the ladies room.

[donnatracey]

Actually, they do, when the line for the women's room is too long and nature's call is too insistant.

Must be a California thing! I have never seen a woman use a men's bathroom and I lived all in a lot of places....not CA though......:D

[Carmen]

Facts are facts, Woman don't use men's bathrooms.

Hi Kristy, I have been to many large sports events here in SoCal, on several occasions the lines for the ladies rooms was so long that the GG's were using the mens room (no line) and no one complained about that!

[Eryn]

Oh, and it's not a California thing at all. Google "I used the mens room" and you'll see that women all over the nation (the world, actually) are using the men's facility and proudly writing about it on the web.

[linda allen]

Must be a California thing! I have never seen a woman use a men's bathroom and I lived all in a lot of places....not CA though......:D

Not California at all. Lots of times at concerts and such the line at the women's restroom is so long they use the men's restroom. Drinking and recreational drugs may have something to do with it.

[Lorna]

It's not a problem I have because I don't go out dressed as a female. One thing that strikes me in reading the long (and interesting) string of posts in this thread is the astonishing determination to avoid calling a lavatory a lavatory - or even a toilet! Why do so many refer to "rest rooms" or even "bathrooms" when, with very few exceptions, these places are neither? Are CDs particularly squeamish about mentioning lavatories? Like one other poster here, I am used to the much more honest French style where the "toilette" or "WC" is very commonly unisex and nobody bothers who is in there! Compare that to here in the conservative UK where I have even encountered a gents toilet temporarily closed because a female cleaner was working inside! How strange we all are.

[linda allen]

Out of 49 responses to this thread, only one post suggests a thrill element to it? Why has that got to be sexual, I certainly haven't read that.

.................. Come on, stop painting CDs as perverts, the majority of them are nice gentlemen who prefer to wear ladies clothing, that does not make them sexual perverts.

I don't think we are "painting CDs as perverts", but some members of the non CD public do. Some females have been raised to fear any man. Some have reason to, based on past experiences.

At any rate, there are "perverts" walking this earth and even if only one male in one thousand gets a thrill from walking into the ladies restroom, that's the one the public will be thinking about.


It's not a problem I have because I don't go out dressed as a female. One thing that strikes me in reading the long (and interesting) string of posts in this thread is the astonishing determination to avoid calling a lavatory a lavatory - or even a toilet! Why do so many refer to "rest rooms" or even "bathrooms" when, with very few exceptions, these places are neither? Are CDs particularly squeamish about mentioning lavatories? Like one other poster here, I am used to the much more honest French style where the "toilette" or "WC" is very commonly unisex and nobody bothers who is in there! Compare that to here in the conservative UK where I have even encountered a gents toilet temporarily closed because a female cleaner was working inside! How strange we all are.

Please remember, not everyone on this forum lives in your part of the world. In the USA, a "lavatory" is the bowl you wash your hands in or a "sink". A "toilet" is the thing you sit on to pee or pooh.

In the USA, you will often find signs in businesses pointint to the "restrooms".

And yes, they are often closed while being cleaned by a member of the other gender.

[Sara Jessica]

Out of 49 responses to this thread, only one post suggests a thrill element to it? Why has that got to be sexual, I certainly haven't read that.

I wonder if some found out they had won a mill $$$ the thrill they got was sexual. Come on, stop painting CDs as perverts, the majority of them are nice gentlemen who prefer to wear ladies clothing, that does not make them sexual perverts.

Ummm, OP said it....


I have noticed an increasing amount of posts stating that CDrs are using the ladies restroom when en femme. There is a certain thrill that goes along with doing this...

So from the root of the thread comes a need to call out such a statement for what it is. Using the restroom should not be "thrilling". Getting such thrills in a public place, especially in one which tends to cause divide as many (if not most) Muggles would just assume that we not use the ladies room when out presenting as female, is out of line and had to be addressed.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

The problem is that the thrill aspect is very real, and its not one out of 49...its not 3 out of 49.. its not something people admit easily. getting "thrilled" is primal...it just happens...

This is not about predators and creeps..it much more basic than that..

what rights to women have in their own gender exclusive bathrooms?

I recall taking a friend to the mall, and everywhere she went she just couldn't wait to go the bathroom...she couldn't wait to go in the changing room... at macy's in the big changing room she handed her phone to me and whispered.."take my picture!!" ugh..
she's a nice person..but cmon... i didnt feel there was sexual things going on...but PART OF HER CD'ing was the experience of going into women only places...this is just not right...she does not identity as a woman...she views herself as gender fluid, but its a creepy way to express it to sneak into a dressing room and have your picture taken...

the idea that there are gender neutral bathrooms does not change the fact that there are gender specific bathrooms as well
...in fact, the existence of gender neutral bathrooms underscores the validity of gender specific ones too..in a perfect world there would be a gender neutral bathroom in every public space i guess

and so the question is this...how do you as a person that feels comfortable and right about being in the ladies room, with no thrills let the women in the bathroom know? How does your need to pee in the ladies compare to other peoples need to feel comfortable and safe in their specifically gender exclusive public bathrooms..??

Too bad for them? Get over it...
or too bad for you? Get over it..

It's a toughie

[JessHaust]

Why do so many refer to "rest rooms" or even "bathrooms" when, with very few exceptions, these places are neither?

Lorna, It's called 'American English' ! which itself is an oximoron. I you came to the states and asked for directions to the Water closet (WC) most likely you would get no response or directions to where the water heater is located!

[Katesback]

I suppose on the plus side I can say that never have I seen a CD in the womens bathroom in my normal day to day life. Sure there might have been someone with a great presentation that I overlooked, but hey if they have a great presentation then theres no reason for them to even worry about being detected.

So perhaps the whole discussion revolves around more of a fantasy than anthing since as I said I have never seen a CD in the bathroom. Crap I have virtually never seen a CD in the normal world come to think of it. Well that is dressed, I am sure I have seen a ton of them dressed as boys but as girls virtually never.

[Eryn]

One thing that strikes me in reading the long (and interesting) string of posts in this thread is the astonishing determination to avoid calling a lavatory a lavatory - or even a toilet! Why do so many refer to "rest rooms" or even "bathrooms" when, with very few exceptions, these places are neither? Are CDs particularly squeamish about mentioning lavatories? Like one other poster here, I am used to the much more honest French style where the "toilette" or "WC" is very commonly unisex and nobody bothers who is in.


Lorna, It's called 'American English' ! which itself is an oximoron. I you came to the states and asked for directions to the Water closet (WC) most likely you would get no response or directions to where the water heater is located!

That's it! "Toilet" is considered mildly vulgar here and most people ask for the "restroom" "Men's" or "Ladies'." Ladies who are particularly proper refer to it as the "Powder Room" although that term is much less used these days.

[Leslie Langford]

These silly euphemisms for public toilets hark back to a more "innocent" (or is that "repressed"?) era, starting in Victorian times and lingering through the conservative 1950's. This was a time when sex was considered "dirty" and "shameful" and wasn't talked about in polite society. Consequently, women were made to feel ashamed of their bodies and the associated perfectly normal bodily functions, and these things were only whispered about furtively.

Hence, that silly terminology "feminine hygiene products", which falls into the same category and is still in use today, but is slowly losing ground as people are becoming more open (and dare I say "adult") about such topics.

[StephanieDragg]

In Michigan I am by law required to use the restroom of the gender on my drivers license, I recommend you check the laws they can vary from state to state. Of coarse there are other options and depending where you are. Asking permission is easier than begging for forgiveness

[Chickhe]

The way to gain respect is by showing everyone it can be done respectfully. You go there to do what is required, not to hang out and chat (best practice is to keep quiet, just nod and smile). I don't care what gender you are or what room you use, you are there to do your business and get out, not to do anything else. It is important to respect the local laws though unless you want to be the one to contest them in court.

[DaphneGrey]

I suppose on the plus side I can say that never have I seen a CD in the womens bathroom in my normal day to day life. Sure there might have been someone with a great presentation that I overlooked, but hey if they have a great presentation then theres no reason for them to even worry about being detected.

So perhaps the whole discussion revolves around more of a fantasy than anthing since as I said I have never seen a CD in the bathroom. Crap I have virtually never seen a CD in the normal world come to think of it. Well that is dressed, I am sure I have seen a ton of them dressed as boys but as girls virtually never.

I thought you were a big CD supporter Kate! "I even take CDs shopping on occasion" or have you forgotten all of those posts from a few years back? I am not quite sure what is sadder. Your constant down talking to CDs on this forum or the fact that you have some need to do so. You constantly post in CDs threads and make statements like "I am a real girl and etc..." So before you were a real girl, what bathroom did you use!

I use the ladies, I present as a woman, live as a woman, shop as a woman and am accepted by my family and friends as a woman. I get no thrill by doing it. I have never gotten a second look or treated poorly and if anyone was upset about it they never mentioned it. And if they did I wouldn't really care. As a matter of fact where I live it is actually the law.

[SusanQ]

Lorna, It's called 'American English' ! which itself is an oximoron. I you came to the states and asked for directions to the Water closet (WC) most likely you would get no response or directions to where the water heater is located!

Two great nations divided by a common language. :) One time we were shopping in Harrods, the terrific departmnent store in Knightsbridge London, and I got the call of nature. I turned to the sales associate and asked for the bath room. Embarrassed silence ensued, and it was quitye a bit until she figured out that I had no intention of bathing in the store, just wanted to do my business. The Brits hjave as many euphemisms for that room as we do, but the one they use the most is one that Americans would never use...you going to approach a stranger in a nice place and ask "where are the toilets?"

My favorite though is what they call them in Simpsons in the Strand, a very old, elegant British restaurant (which I highly recommend...the people from Lawry's the Prime Rib have told me that Simpsons was the moddel they used in building Lawry's. I these most dignified premises it is the Gentlemens Cloak Room and Ladies Cloak Room that you desire.

[SusanQ]

Do any of you truly believe that crossdressed men want to use the ladies room so that they can peek over or under the stalls? As John Stassel would say, "give me a break"

[sfwarbonnet]

I have noticed an increasing amount of posts stating that CDrs are using the ladies restroom when en femme. There is a certain thrill that goes along with doing this and where are we supposed to go anyway? but I have often wondered if this is what we should be doing. I have never used the women's restroom because it is disrespectful to women and our society not to mention illegal in many states and counties. The thought of guys (many of whom are straight) in the restroom with children or wives gives concern to many people. There needs to be a level of responsibility on our part if we choose to dress like this. We must accept all that goes with it. That is why I believer that the use of Ladies restrooms should be off limits. It will only cause greater disrespect to us and others. Many stores such as Kohls have "Family Restrooms." I think it would be promote greater respect if we would limit our use to these kind of restrooms. :battingeyelashes:

I agree, Chloe. A CD who is presenting as a female, but is still a functioning male, should avoid using the Ladies Room whenever possible. Plan A would be a "family" restroom; plan B would be your hotel room; Plan C would be a public Ladies restroom, if you are presenting as a female and can pass. If you are transitioning and are a full-time "girl" then you belong in the Ladies Room.