Getting Read

[Rikidee]

I went out this weekend and visited many stores and was waited on by several SAs of various ages. I was maamed a couple of times and no one let on that they suspected a thing except for one cashier in a convenience store. She was a mid twenties girl and she was kind of cute about it. While she was ringing up my purchase she would just stop and look me in the eyes and smile. She did this 4 or 5 times while waiting on me but she never said anything which was kind of a relief. My question is this, since i had apparently been passing all afternoon what did she notice that tipped her off. I suspect that it was more my behavior/lack of female mannerisms than my looks. When you do your best makeup and put on your best clothes what do you think gets you read more than the other your looks or your mannerisms/behavior? Hugs Riki

[Laura912]

How is your femme voice?

[Kaitlyn Michele]

without a picture who can say..

its more likely that people knew you were not gg, and this girl was the first one that let you know...
but so what

If you spend your time staying with your idea of doing your best, you can enjoy going out and can let the chips fall

And Laura is right, if you want to do your best to blend in, your voice is very important...

[Nikki A.]

Most people are too polite to say anything and will treat you as you present. If you're that good and they don't notice great. With my mug, you'd have to be Mr Magoo and yet I've had no unpleasant experiences and have been treated well when out & about.

[kimdl93]

Being 6'2" without heels, male facial feature and my shoulders seem to stand out ...but I guess I should ask someone who has read me to see what first gave me away.

[suchacutie]

I often sit in a large gathering of people (church seems to work best) and look at the women present, and how I might prove their gender. Assuming that they are all dressed as women, that aspect is removed (all the same). Many times face characteristics, body characteristics, and the little motion they have sitting there is NOT confirmation of their natural gender. Notice this is without voice. I often sit there marveling at the fact that a number of what I believe to be woman would not be able to prove it just by sitting there!

Yet, I'm sure if they came up to me and we had a conversation, their gender would be clear.

So, it seems to me that it comes down to mannerisms, language, voice, and a comfort in their own skin. They eventually, by what they do, exude female "clues" and the male "clues" that their visage or body had given are overridden.

I continue to focus on use of language and how women interact with each other and with men. Getting into their heads, or as I've put it before: learning how girls are socialized differently from boys, is essential to giving off enough feminine "clues" to balance any masculine clues we cannot hide well enough.

To be sure about this it seems we need others (GGs specifically) to tell us what we are doing wrong. My wife has had a long litany of so many things that are just not feminine and are not what GGs do that my head spins sometimes. However, I think that's what it takes eventually to be successful if you really are going to worry about passing. Don't underestimate the use of language, the smile, and the general chitty-chat that goes on all the time!

tina

[Pinky188]

If I dont pull my shoulders back, and stand up straight. Thats the giveaway! My voice could pass as well as my manorisms.

[Jenniferathome]

Ricki, I think most people simple don't notice. But when they do, they do read you but just don't care. I don't think you can count lack of reaction as passing. Men have me faces, we do look different. Our shoulders and arms are shaped differently, regardless of weightlifting. The real message here is that it's ok to go out. 99% of the population won't notice the other 1% won't say anything.

[NathalieX66]

Don't know, don't care.
More often than not, I don't get many eyes on me when I'm about.
Weird thing about guys, though: They look for pretty faces and perfect figures. When you don't measure up to their ideal, they look the other way.

[Leslie Langford]

I went out this weekend and visited many stores and was waited on by several SAs of various ages. I was maamed a couple of times and no one let on that they suspected a thing except for one cashier in a convenience store. She was a mid twenties girl and she was kind of cute about it. While she was ringing up my purchase she would just stop and look me in the eyes and smile. She did this 4 or 5 times while waiting on me but she never said anything which was kind of a relief. My question is this, since i had apparently been passing all afternoon what did she notice that tipped her off. I suspect that it was more my behavior/lack of female mannerisms than my looks. When you do your best makeup and put on your best clothes what do you think gets you read more than the other your looks or your mannerisms/behavior? Hugs Riki

Riki, that young girl looked at you repeatedly, and smiled each time. And from the way you describe it, it was a warm, welcoming, and approving smile - not a forced one with curled lips. Clearly, you intrigued her, and she was impressed with (and liked) what she saw.

So what if you were "read"? The type of validation that she bestowed upon you is the only one that really counts for us CDers, and you aced it. What else is there to say? It doesn't get much better...:thumbsup:

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Riki, That's an easy one by late afternoon your makeup and beard cover was showing the hours of a long day.

[SuzanneS]

The other night I stopped into a well known shopping center, used the ladies restroom, and as I walked out two girls in their late teens took a notice to me...they didn't say anything, but gave me a good look. It was hard, but I had somewhat of a smile on, and tried not to look at them...pretty sure I was read, but nothing was said. I have the walk(I think) and try to keep up on the mannerisms...elbows in, head held up by a string, good posture, walk with my butt instead of my shoulders, all that, so I hope it helped...I was still nervous, because I was shopping about 60 miles away and it was 10pm and not 3am, but it went well, and I'm pretty sure that I worried wayyyy more than I needed to. I've been shopping at this store more than once, and the one cashier that seems accepting was there, so that helped.
I guess what probably gets read more is my looks...I'm 6ft and 250lbs...and I'm wearing 3" heels....and I have shoulders that you could hang off of....I would like to be smaller, but that just probably isn't going to happen. You gotta walk in like you own the place, don't be so afraid to talk, but act as ladylike as you can, be nice, say please, thank you, and excuse me, and you will do fine....confidence and a smile go a long way. :)

Suzanne

[Cynthia Anne]

I know I get ma-am sometimes when they know the differance! I think some people are polite enough to not embarrass you in public! I like Nathalie's answer! Hugs!

[STACY B]

Maybe she didn't read ya ,, Maybe she just thought you were SEXY ??? MEOWWWWWWW ,,,,,,,Dont be thinking negative lady . I always think that they love me !!

[Barbara Ella]

A continual look and smile indicate to me that maybe something may have been slightly amiss, like the beard cover failing, but with the smile continuing, indicates a knowing and accepting person. And isn't that what everyone really wants. Anonymity is nice, but acceptance is the goal.

Sounds to me like you got it, Congratulations.

Babes

[Sophie_C]

Look, you were likely read, but even the best girls eventually get read, so you have to start getting ready to accept that inevitability. And, begin realizing it's not the end of the world. OWN IT. Be a "tranny" and not apologetic about it. And, make it fun. Have a little flair, a little sass. I guarantee you a little humor and a lot of positivity will go a long way. :)