Suzy is not interested in why she is a C.D.

[suzy1]

Over the time I have been here I have noticed how important it is for some of us to try to understand why we C.D. And there is nothing wrong with that.
And I have let myself be drawn into wondering myself a bit.

And then I got to thinking about it today.
I have no hang-ups about crossdressing. I am totally comfortable with who I am. And I love my life as a man/woman crossbreed, or mongrel? or weirdo?, or maybe just a nice mixture of the best of both sexes? [O.K. maybe the worst]

But it’s a waste of good fun time to get all hung up on why I am like I am. I just don’t care!

I understand why some search for answers but I have better things to do. Like looking for that new dress.

Just a ramble from Suzy.

[darla_g]

agreed. when i first got here i thought it was to figure out why i do the things i do. after a while i discovered was that it just didn't matter. I'm not hurting anyone and just expressing myself

[Nichola]

I've given up, I'm confused & I probably always will be as to why I'm like this....So I may as well make the best of it & have some fun:)

[Alice B]

I like the description of "mongrel" Fits me well and like you I have no hang ups or illusions as to who and what I am.

[Miriam-J]

I never gave much thought to the 'why' until the last month and a half, since I joined this forum. Since then I've read many speculations, and even added a few of my own. I've also read the book "My Husband Wears my Clothes" (and I highly recommend it). After all is said and done, I think I'm now comfortable with accepting that it just "is", as you say Suzy. It's helped that I've explored this while also engaging my wife in the same conversations so she can come to the same conclusions. She'd support either way anyway, but it's good to have her on board for that.

On the other hand, I'm still an engineer darn it! I have this discomfort at anything that I can't explain, so I expect it'll keep popping through my fuzzy little noggin for the next few decades anyway.

Miriam

[Cynthia Anne]

Tell it like it is Suzy! That's great:)! But now I'm confused and hurt!:sad: I was under the impression that you cd so you can come on here and visit with ME!!!! Hugs!:D

[kimdl93]

I've given subject a lot of thought, read a great deal on the subject and understand that there are a wide range of possible contributing factors.

None of which make a whit's bit of difference in the quality of my life. The important thing for me to acknowledge is that I am a CDr (or TG or however one chooses to label it); there's noting wrong with it, and I can lead a happy, fulfilling life, just as I am. ...and dog-gonnit, people like me ;)

[JessHaust]

I never really cared why, although for years Intried to ignor it. Now I'm far more interested in how to best celebrate it!

[RADER]

Maybe we CD because we want to, and since it is against societies rules; So
we want to push the envelope a lot and dress in a dress.
I know it is a thin excuse, but it is all I came up with for now.
Rader

[Foxglove]

I want to know. Just as it's in my nature to be TG, it's also in my nature to want to know why I am TG.

Will someone say that this bit of knowledge is immaterial? I ask, how can you know the value of a bit of knowledge until you have it? You can't judge the value of a thing you don't possess, a thing you have never even glimpsed.

I think perhaps one day we will know why some people are TG. There has been some research done recently that has presented a very interesting theory, perhaps the correct one. If this one is incorrect, perhaps the next one will be. Some day we will know, and I have a hard time imagining that that bit of knowledge will be useless to us. Suppose it changed the way society as a whole views us. Would that be useless?

Annabelle

[KaTanya]

I'm more interested in why Suzy is so cool. There's something at work there I can't put my finger on.

Although that would take away time that could be spent finding the perfect shoes.

[Cheryl T]

I cared why and searched for more years than I care to think about. All that time wasted when all I wanted was to be me.

[Gaby2]

I do wonder why I'm a CDer, Suzy... and enjoy wondering... questioning...
A desire to wear what society deems "womens' clothing" certainly has confused me for most of my life.
But I don't let that trouble me as much anymore.
Shoes, cloths, and dresses in particular seem to choose me... I just oblige.
:rose2:Gaby

[Karren H]

Now I'm interested why Suzy's not interested?

[drushin703]

suzy:

I was in Walmart this afternoon, picking up a perscription when a nondescript gg pased before me. She was clad in some pajama bottoms and flats
that slid when she walked, a unbuttoned down filled coat, no makeup, talking on a cell phone and with a untity wig on that sat on the back of her head. Now
I wish never to pass any judgement on anyone else on this planet and try very hard not to. The possible reasons for looking this way.............well
perhaps she was in a hurry, had to drop off the kids, didnt have time to do her hair, was
hustling to another job, bussied out - trying to make ends meet..But as cds we have all had those moments when we get in our cars and say "wow,
I look way better than that". She was vizard, pejorative in all respects, her ineptitude almost a disguise to the female form.



For those of us who worship femininity and are intollerant against any overt assault against it, there may be good reason to keep this (our) crossdressing
species alive......Yeah, thats it! Thats not why we started dressing nor the fun and pleasure we get out of it. We (I) cd as a continuence of alluring love
and beauty for anything muliebrile..........this position is unrelenting.....dana

[Soriya]

There is always a reason for everything and this is no different.

I had always wondered why since an early age but that is my nature, I am one who seeks to understand why things are the way they are and happen. My CD experiences where always in short 1 to 3 year phases and each phase brought on a whole new round of confusion and frustration because it didn't add up. Prior to a couple years ago, the last was 16 years ago at 25. I didn't have the internet yet so it was always something that bothered me as I had no information and nobody to talk to. After a few years of clearing everything else from my past, the time came to address my CD'ing. I wasn't expecting it and it only surfaced after I met a Post-op TS and became friends with her. I had sworn to myself to take my CD'ing to the grave but once her and I became friends, I was compelled to tell her. She encouraged me to try it again purely to figure out why I had done it and so I did. After months of dressing, searching the web, reading about others experiences on this forum and others for countless ours, I found my answers. Since then, my CD'ing has all but faded away as the reason I did it in the past no longer exists within me. I still do dress every few months or so but now it's purely for fun to watch the transformation and see someone else in the mirror. It's the artist in me and now it's an artistic expression for a couple of hours when I am bored. :)

[suchacutie]

Well Suzy, there is a reason.

I'm sure in a few hundred years the brain will be completely mapped and as children we will all be afforded a brain scan and they will tell us what % of our brains are wired as woman and the probability of our desire to be those feminine selves for a certain part of the time.

Until then I'll just assume that my brain is in control and what I do is what it tells me to do :)

As you implied, it's so much easier that way :)

tina

[Marleena]

Suzy I'm not interested in why you are a CD either!!

I'm just glad you're you.:)

Marleena

[rachaelsloane]

But it’s a waste of good fun time to get all hung up on why I am like I am. I just don’t care!
Suzy,
Your words are so true as too many here all not able to enjoy CD'ng to it's fullest. I'm like you, why worry, just enjoy.
I'll have another glass of wine, please.
Rachael

[Noemi]

Thank You Suzy.
I spend allot of time figuring. It no longer helps me, if anything it is fuel for the fires of disenchantment.
Enchantment, magical girls. Like I am wearing a sky blue leotard with criss cross spaghetti straps in the back, under my boy clothes today and have my toe nails painted the same color...mmmmmmmmmmmmm More please.

I really needed to hear this today. I am on the cusp of accepting that Filomena exists( I mean come on already, I have been aware of her forever and a day, I am soooo thick).

It is OK to dress up and express myself, I do not have much of a choice any longer anyway. It really is exciting when I think this way, better then the depression I deal with because of my TGered self. For me to try to fit into a mans life just has not worked so well, maybe time to change my paradigm.

[Kate Simmons]

Well, don't tell anyone Hon but the real reason is that we don't want to look like Homer Simpson. D'oh!:)

[Barbara Ella]

I am very new to this, and my wife is newer, and she/we of course have a lot of questions. Slowly, we both are realizing that the why is not relevant to our happiness together. Our questions are now focusing on how we can make this work for us both to where we all will be happy. My focus is on being the best I can be for me, my family, and my wife. as that is the group my situation must deal with.

I am happy being me, and why is not my priority.

Babes

[DeeDeeB]

Suzy,

You express what most of us on this site are seeking. Acceptance of ourselves as CD. Without societal acceptance, it is hard to get through the stuff that the outside world throws at us. I am coming very close to that acceptance myself, but it has been through sites like this and TG conferences that has allowed me to get here. Without the support of others like us or who accept us, it is a very hard road to tread.

Dee :fairy1:

[Crissy Kay]

Maybe we CD because we want to, and since it is against societies rules; So
we want to push the envelope a lot and dress in a dress.
I know it is a thin excuse, but it is all I came up with for now.
Rader

I agree with Rader. I think its part of the reason that I cd, although I have not really thought that much on it. It, [cding], is an act of rebellion to some degree.

[sissystephanie]

I crossdress simply because I like to! Been doing it for the better part of 70 years and will continue as long as I can!!

[busker]

I cared why and searched for more years than I care to think about. All that time wasted when all I wanted was to be me.

Actually it wasn't time wasted because you did discover that you accepted yourself, you are at peace with yourself and you also know at this point that there is no agreed on reason for why mostly men do this. No real endeavor is a waste of time. everything is a learning experience and you always come away with some new understanding.

[Jacqueline Winona]

I'm not really a "why" person about dressing (or anything else regarding me) either- I just am, and I'm happy and when things are good I'm just enjoying everything without a care in the world. As the great prophet of our times Robert Hunter once said:
Some folks look for answers
Others look for fights
Some folks up in treetops
Just look to see the sights

[KellyJameson]

For myself crossdressing offered a back door into my mind to allow me to become what I already was but refused to give myself permission to be and now that I am I no longer need the reasons.

[Eryn]

...On the other hand, I'm still an engineer darn it! I have this discomfort at anything that I can't explain..

And fix! We need to be able to fix it too! :)

I'm also trying to figure out why I spend money on clothes and shoes and hours of time getting ready to go out en femme when I could just toss on jeans and a polo shirt and be more comfortable in male mode. The only answer seems to be "because I like it."

Of course, the same answer works for mountain climbing, river running, or any other adventure!

[Jocelyn Quivers]

A very simplistic and easy carefree way to go about life, which I often tend to forget regularly. So this thread has helped me to get back on focus and to just stop asking why, just accept it as how I was made, and to enjoy life.:)

[docrobbysherry]

There is a GOOD REASON for some of us to wonder, Suzie!

If u suddenly start dressing at age 50, with absolutely no warning in your entire previous life, u must wonder! Because if the DESIRE CAN APPEAR suddenly out of the blue, it mite DISAPPEAR the same way. Unless u can figure out what's going on!

If I had the desire to dress since I was a kid, I probably would have stopped thinking/worrying about it years ago!

[Lynn Marie]

Lots of great comments here, much better than anything I can come up with. Kudos to you Suzy in expressing what so many of us have also come to understand. There just ain't no good reason or way to explain it. It just is.

I do wish there were some easy answer I could give people when they are looking for an explanation of why this silly old gentleman likes being a girl on occasion! O well, I'd also like to be younger, better looking, have more hair, and bigger boobs!

[Contessa]

Can I just chime in here for a minute. None of us really care why we cross dress. I don't care either why just when. But I think most of it is too much reading of the same answer. I have looked at the forum page and it tell a lot about what is going on here. Cause there are more crossdressers reading about why than there are crossdressers reading about how. Nobody or not many are in the beauty or clothing and shopping forums. Why I don't know but, I think we all just need to do some relaxing. There are more forums to read and not just the crossdressing one. Everyone should enjoy all the threads you want. I crossdress because it is easy and I know exactly what to do. Put on women's clothes and walk to places and smile a lot. Its fun and easy. Keep it up. Smooth cross dressing to all.

Tess
My three cents!

[paulaprimo]

i always had the urge too dress, just never did until i was fifty. now i wonder why i didn't start sooner. i do know that i am the same person inside but am much happier!! and you are so right suzy, why waste time with questions that we can't find answers to. just enjoy it...

[TinaMc]

I think that's probably a very healthy way to look at CDing. I tend to think it can be quite detrimental to overanalyse the whole thing, you end up just concluding that it's either a genetic mutation or a deep Freudian mummy issue, neither of which is particularly helpful.

[Frédérique]

Over the time I have been here I have noticed how important it is for some of us to try to understand why we C.D. And there is nothing wrong with that. And I have let myself be drawn into wondering myself a bit.
And then I got to thinking about it today. I have no hang-ups about crossdressing. I am totally comfortable with who I am. And I love my life as a man/woman crossbreed, or mongrel? or weirdo?, or maybe just a nice mixture of the best of both sexes? [O.K. maybe the worst] But it’s a waste of good fun time to get all hung up on why I am like I am. I just don’t care! I understand why some search for answers but I have better things to do. Like looking for that new dress.

Well, I have no hang-ups about crossdressing, either, just a healthy curiosity about how this miracle came about. It can’t hurt to daydream now and then, can it? I mean, I’m totally comfortable with who I am, indeed I have no choice in the matter – I’m about as contrived as that tree over yonder, and just as natural, but (gosh!), ain’t it WONDERFUL that it happened?!
:battingeyelashes:

I also have better things to do, such as keeping myself from being sucked into the black hole of reality, but I find myself on a discussion forum about crossdressing, one that I willingly joined, so I’m going to muse on the topic of crossdressing! It would be pretty boring if I posted things like: “Ho hum, I’m a happy crossdresser, la-di-da,” wouldn’t you say? Let’s be aware that there are others looking in who may not be comfortable with themselves or their curious compulsion to dress, and they may benefit from advice from well-adjusted individuals like ourselves…
:straightface:

You may notice I DON’T write, “Freddy doesn’t mind thinking about why she’s a crossdresser!” I could, but I won’t, since doing so would imply that there is a conflict going on between my real self, the one that everyone knows, and that “other” imaginary self that is somehow separate from everything I do – that conflict ALONE is worth considering, or worthy of dissertation, but don’t let me tell YOU what to do! It’s fun to crossdress, fun to not think to much about it, yet fun to wonder how or why it came about in the first place, so I shall do all of the above…
:)

Actually, Earth was devoid of crossdressing until that fateful day when a comet, with our names on it, struck the planet broadside, showering the gender-specific mammals with fairy dust! If that doesn’t prompt Suzy to PM me, I don’t know what will…
:heehee:

[bobbie c]

ah suzi...again you capture the the positive and this is why i find your posts so refreshing....i could not have said it better. it all starts from within....you gotta love who and what you are and you have a better chance of others doing the same...just saying....thanks suzi !

[busker]

I think that's probably a very healthy way to look at CDing. I tend to think it can be quite detrimental to overanalyse the whole thing, you end up just concluding that it's either a genetic mutation or a deep Freudian mummy issue, neither of which is particularly helpful.

There is much comment here in numerous threads that sometimes push CDs to out themselves to their SO, otherwise they are lying and cheating, etc. If one never comes to some reasonable conclusion about why they do what they do, how are they to explain it to their SO? "Oh, honey, I don't know. I just do it. " Is that really going to answer a wifes questions adequately. These self outers are told to prepare--isn't that what examination is all about? To think about why we do what we do doesn't necessarily mean unlimited naval gazing or depression but trying to have some credible answer as to the why is worth the effort if people are to understand this particular passion of ours.

[Lillith]

I tend to over think everything anyway and CDing is no exception. But, I also believe that, genetically, we all start as both and hormone levels push us toward our physical & psychic tendencies one way or the other. So, over analyzing is just my way of realizing and internalizing this truth. However, it CAN suck the fun right out of an otherwise great journey and mind opening life experience too. Everything in its own time and place!

Lilith

[Lillith]

Please don't say "noone here cares"...I care & it just makes me feel like grade school when one person speaks their opinion as a mandate from ALL, like "everyone thinks you're a sissy", "we all think your wierd, gay, ugly,fill-in-the-blank juvinile smear" ...not accusing you of that, but just that using term "noone here" makes me feel that way and I don't like feeling like that. Please? Not trying to offend this early in my time here, just a humble request not to ne spoken for. ....Now, I can agree that there can be too much time spent on the "why"s and not enough on the "how"s, if one does want to pass an hour musing on the former, why make them feel bad for it? Such reflection can inspire confidence, build support, make connections to othrrs that have "been there", and all kinds of positive things that help one know themself better and build a support network in a lonely situation, such as recently losing a SO or job and could even prevent suicide & save a life. Let's spend or time in the forums best for us at that time & try only be supportive, positive, or silent on the threads we visit. I hope I don't hurt your feelings either....just don't like being spoken for or seeing anyone else made to feel isolated & "wrong" for having self-reflective thoughts. Please don't take this as my "calling you out" or anything of the sort, just simply how that phrasing made ME & only me feel....

[Stephanie47]

I reach the stage of life where I really do not care how I got to where I am. As I retiree with ample one half community income, there are really minimal consequences of being outed. Now if I could get rid of the marital discord it causes (DADT) life would almost be perfect. Well, almost--I'd like to be a least a size 12!

[busker]

I reach the stage of life where


do you suppose that this statement I really do not care how I got to where I am. As I retiree with ample one half community income, there are really minimal consequences of being outed. Now if I could get rid of the marital discord it causes (DADT) life would almost be perfect. might be connected to this problem?

when you got married, maybe your fiancee asked why you wanted to marry her, and you said knowingly "I love you". you searched you inner being and felt that was true. Now your wife wants to know why you like to dress and the best you can manage is "I don't care". A real answer might break the DADT roadblock. Just an opinion.