Frédérique
03-28-2012, 07:15 PM
“You just can’t believe me...when I tell you what you mean to me.”
(from "Confusion" by New Order)
Now I’ll tell you something I think you should know – people don’t like to be confused, so that makes it very hard to be a crossdresser nowadays. I know how they feel, or how they want to feel, but I rely on this confusion to make things interesting. I suppose I’m playing with this idea: why are things the way they are - why aren’t they another way? I’ve written (at length) about conformity, so it’s only fair that I say something about blessed confusion...
Looking around, here in the Land of Nod, everything is in its place, neatly encapsulated by imaginary boundaries, especially the boundaries of accepted gender behavior, but why? Does the boy entertain ideas of being a girl, or becoming LIKE a girl, only to think he cannot bring disorder into the carefully ordered life that has been created for his benefit? I don’t wish to approach the moralistic minefield by way of discussion, but any potential deviant among the faithful is constantly being aligned through words, deeds, and non-deeds, as if powerful magnets are keeping emotions in check. I can’t turn on the car radio without being reminded of some moral lesson, even though the “teacher” has never stepped outside of his gender to taste the fragrant atmosphere that waits...
Nope, you aren’t supposed to do such things. A boy dressing as a girl will embarrass those who can’t even dream of such an idea, let alone have the courage to actually do it. Crossdressing is disconcerting, bewildering, and perplexing. There, I said it, but I will explain! CD’ing bewilders those who have never come in contact with such a thing – I don’t mean what you see on TV, I mean ACTUAL, non-comedic crossdressing. This confuses the outsider hopelessly – why would a boy/man/male do that? I can almost hear the poor unfortunate say, “I have no information on this...” Of course, from my perspective, I wonder why someone isn’t dressed a certain way, for the occasion, if only to be more comfortable, experience a blessed “difference,” and enjoy life thoroughly...
“All around the world it’s shining...but cold winds blow across your mind.”
(from "Confusion" by E.L.O.)
Cold winds, indeed. Really, I’m not crossdressing to intentionally perplex people, or confound anyone by throwing things into consternation. I am merely confusing, or mixing, the genders together in a perpetual, personal emulsion. Why is this so complicated, or difficult for outsiders to understand? Is it because I’m doing something that is just not discussed amongst those who fear confusion? I am not trying to mislead anyone, rather I am trying to lead my “self” somewhere, posing a question about existence along the way – surely this is acceptable, unless doing so disconnects me from the society I’m supposed to embrace. I don’t FEEL like a puzzle, but I guess I am...
Remember “Confuse-A-Cat” from Monty Python? A couple’s cat is in a rut, and the feline needs to be confused – enter the aforementioned service, and they do an admiral job, getting the cat out of its rut in no time. Meanwhile, the people who own the cat (or is it the other way around?) are also, visibly, in a rut of their own making, but nobody does anything about that, do they? Confusion would be just the ticket, but I don’t think they have a repair service for such things – anything out of the ordinary that would HELP people is banished to the “deviant” bin, where it sits, alone and under-appreciated. Let’s not throw a monkey wrench into the works, "they" say, because it may just rip the fabric of society asunder, causing the whole “bolt” to unravel, or worse! Sad...
Years ago I was photographing something at a park in Kansas - I was testing my new pinhole camera. A man walked over, initially attracted by the fact I was using a tripod, I think. He asked me what I was doing, walking in front of my camera, which looks like a wooden box (no lens, no viewfinder, no nothing). I asked him to step aside, because I was in the middle of a long exposure of several minutes. “It’s a pinhole camera,” I said, adding, “Have you ever seen one before?” The man’s look of bewilderment was funny and revealing, in fact he didn’t say a word, turning and walking back where he came from. The thing is, the man was suddenly beyond the realm of his own understanding, and he felt very uncomfortable. I wonder - what if I was enjoying the beautiful weather in the same park, en femme, and the same man walked over to see what I was all about? Keep in mind that seeing a dress or a skirt is a rare occurrence in these parts. The man could look at me and say, “What on Earth are YOU supposed to be?” I would flutter my eyelashes and answer, “I’m a transvestite – have you ever seen one before?” Shocked, the gentleman would scurry back to the world he was familiar with, suitably confused, I’m sure...
“Wanted a woman...never bargained for YOU.”
(from "Dazed and Confused" by Jake Holmes)
By a similar fashion, I could leave the realm of my own understanding and dip myself into unbridled confusion by spending time amongst the conformists – perhaps I could learn to foster prejudice against queers, learn how to consume massive amounts of beer during the course of an afternoon, and gain an appreciation for college basketball (this IS Kansas, remember?). No thanks – I’d rather be confusing, confounding, bewildering, puzzling, embarrassing, and perplexing to those who are too set in their ways. In a way, I’m doing everyone a service, a thankless job by any other name...
Confusedly yours, Freddy :battingeyelashes:
I’m confused – what was the topic, again? Don’t you get a kick out of confusing people? I do... :)
(from "Confusion" by New Order)
Now I’ll tell you something I think you should know – people don’t like to be confused, so that makes it very hard to be a crossdresser nowadays. I know how they feel, or how they want to feel, but I rely on this confusion to make things interesting. I suppose I’m playing with this idea: why are things the way they are - why aren’t they another way? I’ve written (at length) about conformity, so it’s only fair that I say something about blessed confusion...
Looking around, here in the Land of Nod, everything is in its place, neatly encapsulated by imaginary boundaries, especially the boundaries of accepted gender behavior, but why? Does the boy entertain ideas of being a girl, or becoming LIKE a girl, only to think he cannot bring disorder into the carefully ordered life that has been created for his benefit? I don’t wish to approach the moralistic minefield by way of discussion, but any potential deviant among the faithful is constantly being aligned through words, deeds, and non-deeds, as if powerful magnets are keeping emotions in check. I can’t turn on the car radio without being reminded of some moral lesson, even though the “teacher” has never stepped outside of his gender to taste the fragrant atmosphere that waits...
Nope, you aren’t supposed to do such things. A boy dressing as a girl will embarrass those who can’t even dream of such an idea, let alone have the courage to actually do it. Crossdressing is disconcerting, bewildering, and perplexing. There, I said it, but I will explain! CD’ing bewilders those who have never come in contact with such a thing – I don’t mean what you see on TV, I mean ACTUAL, non-comedic crossdressing. This confuses the outsider hopelessly – why would a boy/man/male do that? I can almost hear the poor unfortunate say, “I have no information on this...” Of course, from my perspective, I wonder why someone isn’t dressed a certain way, for the occasion, if only to be more comfortable, experience a blessed “difference,” and enjoy life thoroughly...
“All around the world it’s shining...but cold winds blow across your mind.”
(from "Confusion" by E.L.O.)
Cold winds, indeed. Really, I’m not crossdressing to intentionally perplex people, or confound anyone by throwing things into consternation. I am merely confusing, or mixing, the genders together in a perpetual, personal emulsion. Why is this so complicated, or difficult for outsiders to understand? Is it because I’m doing something that is just not discussed amongst those who fear confusion? I am not trying to mislead anyone, rather I am trying to lead my “self” somewhere, posing a question about existence along the way – surely this is acceptable, unless doing so disconnects me from the society I’m supposed to embrace. I don’t FEEL like a puzzle, but I guess I am...
Remember “Confuse-A-Cat” from Monty Python? A couple’s cat is in a rut, and the feline needs to be confused – enter the aforementioned service, and they do an admiral job, getting the cat out of its rut in no time. Meanwhile, the people who own the cat (or is it the other way around?) are also, visibly, in a rut of their own making, but nobody does anything about that, do they? Confusion would be just the ticket, but I don’t think they have a repair service for such things – anything out of the ordinary that would HELP people is banished to the “deviant” bin, where it sits, alone and under-appreciated. Let’s not throw a monkey wrench into the works, "they" say, because it may just rip the fabric of society asunder, causing the whole “bolt” to unravel, or worse! Sad...
Years ago I was photographing something at a park in Kansas - I was testing my new pinhole camera. A man walked over, initially attracted by the fact I was using a tripod, I think. He asked me what I was doing, walking in front of my camera, which looks like a wooden box (no lens, no viewfinder, no nothing). I asked him to step aside, because I was in the middle of a long exposure of several minutes. “It’s a pinhole camera,” I said, adding, “Have you ever seen one before?” The man’s look of bewilderment was funny and revealing, in fact he didn’t say a word, turning and walking back where he came from. The thing is, the man was suddenly beyond the realm of his own understanding, and he felt very uncomfortable. I wonder - what if I was enjoying the beautiful weather in the same park, en femme, and the same man walked over to see what I was all about? Keep in mind that seeing a dress or a skirt is a rare occurrence in these parts. The man could look at me and say, “What on Earth are YOU supposed to be?” I would flutter my eyelashes and answer, “I’m a transvestite – have you ever seen one before?” Shocked, the gentleman would scurry back to the world he was familiar with, suitably confused, I’m sure...
“Wanted a woman...never bargained for YOU.”
(from "Dazed and Confused" by Jake Holmes)
By a similar fashion, I could leave the realm of my own understanding and dip myself into unbridled confusion by spending time amongst the conformists – perhaps I could learn to foster prejudice against queers, learn how to consume massive amounts of beer during the course of an afternoon, and gain an appreciation for college basketball (this IS Kansas, remember?). No thanks – I’d rather be confusing, confounding, bewildering, puzzling, embarrassing, and perplexing to those who are too set in their ways. In a way, I’m doing everyone a service, a thankless job by any other name...
Confusedly yours, Freddy :battingeyelashes:
I’m confused – what was the topic, again? Don’t you get a kick out of confusing people? I do... :)