Wife and This Forum

[linda allen]

For the male married crossdressers here, have you introduced your wife to this forum?

If so, was it a good idea or not and why. If not, why not? What are your reasons?

[Karren H]

Because she isn't a fan of my crossdressing! With her not on here I feel I can talk freely. which I can't do when she's around. Maybe that's sad but that's just the way it is...

[kimdl93]

I did introduce my wife to this site. She hasn't shown any interest in becoming a member, primarily because she just doesn't have the time. She started a Facebook page some time ago, visited it maybe a dozen times, and lost interest.

[Stephanie47]

"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" also means "Don't Read." The only thing my wife may read about cross dressing is an occasional letter to "Dear Abby." Then, she says absolutely nothing, which is an improvement over the years. If she has read this site, I don't know it. We both use programs that automatically clear our histories.

[BRANDYJ]

My SO is not my wife, but as important to me or more then if she was. Yes, i asked her to join. Not so she would understand us any better since she has been exposed to all types of gender expression long before we met. She is a member, but rarely comes here. I have nothing to hide in anything I have or might post, so her presents here is fine. I just wish she had more time to chime in. Neither one of us has anything to hide from each other.

[Tina B.]

My wife is aware of this site, she is often in the room when I'm on here, and would be welcomed by me if she ever did want to join on read whats up here, but it's my thing, not her's and she doesn't find it all that interesting.
There is nothing she seems to be curiouse about, as long as I'm happy, that's all that counts.
Tina B.

[pantywaver]

I showed my wife this site when I first found it, she gave it a look and that was about it. Last night I asked her if she ever looks at this site, she said no because its a place I can go and not have to worry about her and she does not care for it.

[RADER]

My wife just does not comprehend a computer; She tries to make it work like a
typewriter, witch has a key board, but the similarities stop there.
Rader

[Joanne f]

My wife knows every time i log on here and i have no problem with her reading anything on here but i would not be keen on her joining , why you may ask, well she supports me very vigorously and know doubt would support the views of any CD/TG when it comes to dressing and would be very outspoken about anything against that so i have decided to keep her off here for your own safety :):devil:

[ChristineReid]

My view is that I wouldn't want to post anything on here that I wouldn't be happy for her to read (that's too many negatives...). Basically if she read anyting I wrote I wouldn't want her to be upset. However, she's got too many other things to do to really want to read anything on here anyway - so I don't think it's really a problem for me.

[Cheryl T]

I showed this forum to my wife and encouraged her to read and discuss the threads with me.
I prefaced it by making certain that she understood that there are wide variations in what we enjoy and in our reasons for dressing.
It helped her to see that we are so similar, yet so different and our discussions helped her understand me better.

She is a member here also.

[Polly R]

Well... It was she who introduced me to this site!

Haven't a clue what she says about me on the gg's only forum...

BFN

Polly

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I did she knows all about the forum, and she actually joined the forum but never posted anything not long after I joined. I guess she figured she get's more than enough of a forum from me and needs no further information.

[Alice B]

My wife knows about the forum and has even read a post or two that I have shown her. But, she is not interested in joining and since our aggreement is to not shoved my dressing in her face, it will stay that way.

[JenniferR771]

Unfortunately, my wife hats my crossdressing. She always shouts at me to get off this site every time she comes into the computer room. And she checks my history every day. So...she sees the title of every thread I visit. A distorted view to be sure. Perhaps she has read a post or two--not sure of that.

I do not delete my history as she gets angry if I delete my history.

[Being Paige]

I'm in the same boat as Karen!!
Well put.

[Gillian Gigs]

My wife is aware of this site and my interaction on it. I told her that she is welcome to look, or join, but she has not expressed any interest. She accepts this part of me and it is ok with her, if there is anything that can "bug" her, it is my going on about CDing. I don't talk about it much, but we do shop for clothes together, etc.

[Eryn]

My wife is here and it really helps us understand each other. We often ask each other "Anything interesting on the forum?" and the discussions that follow are often some of the most meaningful ones we have about TG issues.

[Lorileah]

Wife knew, never really did any sites or social networking. GF knew, had many more things to do beside checking on me. She had her horse boards.

[Molly Wells]

My wife knows that I CD. She does not like it nor wants to have anything to do with it, she would really like it if it did not exist. Besides that she is opposed to it!
I do not want her on this site. While I as a CD understand the many views, perspectives, likes and dislikes that are expressed here on an open forum, she would see much of it as deviant or perverse. I know that she is closed minded about these things. For her to read some of the things posted here would likely cause her to be even more opposed to my CDing, so it would be a long day before I introduced her to this site. While it is not fool proof, I have my own computer and go to great lengths to cover my tracks of my visits to this or other CD sites.

Molly

[StaceyJane]

My wife only uses the computer to download music. She doesn't even use facebook.

[elizabethamy]

Molly Wells and I share some of the same fears...for her to jump in here and read all of it without context or working up to it as we have would be traumatic, I think.

[girltoy]

Back when I was married, I told my wife about the forum and she didn't want to join. However, my now current SO registered here and has taken a much greater interest than my ex-wife did.

[Eryn]

Unfortunately, my wife hats my crossdressing. She always shouts at me to get off this site every time she comes into the computer room. And she checks my history every day. So...she sees the title of every thread I visit. A distorted view to be sure. Perhaps she has read a post or two--not sure of that.

I do not delete my history as she gets angry if I delete my history.

Wow, that sounds pretty harsh. I have a couple of suggestions:

Use "Private Browsing" in Firefox, "Incognito Mode" in Chrome or "InPrivate Browsing." in IE. They will prevent history from being recorded without deleting the entire history.

Even better, use a separate computer. That way she can use hers, you can use yours, both without interference.

[Miriam-J]

My wife is great about the crossdressing, but spends way too much time on-line just running her business. I try to give her the highlights, and they often result in great conversations.

[Marlana]

I also am in Karen's boat. My wife doesn't want to know about it and if she did, I might not feel as comfortable as I do being here, even though I'm among friends.

[CdD Janessa]

my wife as well knows about this site snd i have askd her to join but she does not want to join i love this site tho she gets mad that i check it so regilarly but oh well i guess bit to me its informative and inspiring this is my place to hang out and read since she hates crossdressing and thinks that it is wrong so i hang out here since she wont let me dress i love everyones posts here i look forward to reading more and any advice on changing her opinion on crossdressing would be greatly appreciated

[Marcia Blue]

I introduced my wife to this forum, after coming out to her. She has been a member for a couple of years. The GGs are very supportive and she has benefited from her membership.

[AnitaH]

My wife knows about this site and I have shown her a couple of post's. One's that were especially meaningful to me. She has been more supportive that I ever imagined and has no problem with me being on here but she doesn't have a desire for membership at this time. She wants to give me a space for myself although I try not to post anything that I'd not want her to see.

AnitaH

[Diane Smith]

Less than 2% of Internet users participate in online forums at all. So the chance that a spouse of any of us would become a user here is probably about one in fifty, which has nothing at all to do with the content or their level of interest -- it's just the way people behave online.

- Diane

[Launa]

My wife, knows I'm on this site but doesn't show much interest in joining and although I have nothing to hide, I would feel uncomfortable if she were to read some posts that I comment on. Especially when someone posts a pic, they say hey how do I look? I say great etc, etc... This would just make her wonder all over again if I will turn gay on her or something.

[MandyGG]

I am a wife, and I am the one that reads the forum! I have shown it to my husband a few times, being all excited about what I am trying to show him. Saying crap like, "Look, dude! Dudes like you!". He "Uh huh"s me and walks away. I am sure it is because he is purged at the moment. No matter how hard I try to keep Erin out in the open, he shoves her in her hiding spot. But with all I have learned from being on this forum, I will be ready to welcome her home whenever she may get back here.

[Jacqueline Winona]

Karren, as always, says exactly what I'm thinking. But even if my wife was more ok with my dressing, I'd like it better if I were the only member of the family here simply because I can be a little more open by myself.

[Barbara B]

My wife joined ages ago, to my knowledge she rarely visits, for no other reason than she is busy elsewhere.

[Marie-Elise]

Found this forum the day after I told my wife and brought her here. She browsed a few threads on her own and decided she didn't need it. That was about 18 months ago. To date, she has never mentioned this forum or any other. She did buy and read "My Husband Wears My Clothes" and said it was interesting. Other than that, she knows of my hobby, has bought me clothes and lets me dress whenever I want. I guess she is OK with it.

[Miriam-J]

I am a wife, and I am the one that reads the forum! I have shown it to my husband a few times, being all excited about what I am trying to show him. Saying crap like, "Look, dude! Dudes like you!". He "Uh huh"s me and walks away. I am sure it is because he is purged at the moment. No matter how hard I try to keep Erin out in the open, he shoves her in her hiding spot. But with all I have learned from being on this forum, I will be ready to welcome her home whenever she may get back here.
Thanks for being proactive with the support, Erin. I'm glad there are so many supporting wives out there like you and my wife. Stay with it.

Miriam

[Mackenzie]

My wife joined the forum a couple of years ago and posted maybe 5 or 6 times. She is fine with my crossdressing, sort of gets a kick out of it, and helps me to look and act more feminine... very supportive. She is so busy with homeschooling, 6 grandchildren and 3 grown children that the last thing she thinks of is getting on this forum. She is very connected on Facebook and that's about the extent of her computer time.

Mackenzie

[Aylineira]

My wife knows about a CD forum that I have joined but she gets all of her information from me. I think it's better this way anyways since it allows the two of us to stay open with our communications.

[Kerigirl2009]

My wife knows of this site but after 7 posts she could not take it anymore. She thinks we are wierd wanting to dress in womens clothes. She has told me she has not been on since 8-27-2009. I have checked to see if she has logged in but nope atleast she is not logging in but she may be checking up on me as a lurker, I mean visitor. I guess someday I will find out.

[linda allen]

Thanks for all the responses. It seems the majority either haven't told their wives about it or the wives aren't interested.

I just recently started wearing panties and a bra around my wife (and stretch shorts and nighties). I have a thread about it on here. That's it for now, I haven't told her about anything else, I'll just let it happen as it happens. I wear women's jeans and jean shorts, but as a male.

I'm wary of telling her about this forum because I don't want her to think I will be taking this thing any further than dressing around the house or maybe in another town. No coming out to friends and family or neighbors, no transition to full time or hormone treatment, etc.

I don't use the term "crossdressing" or anything like that around her, I just tell her the bra and panties make me feel relaxed and a nicer person. She calls it my "feminine side". We'll just let it take it's course.

[AndreaCD1963]

My SO knows all about Andrea, but I've never encouraged her to join this site. For my own selfish reasons.

1). I had a bad experience with a previous partner with whom I had shared another CD forum. When we went our separate ways, she made things difficult for me on the forum, and I lost all of my then TG / CD friends. All of whom were local too, so that meant loosing my group to go out with also
2). My SO spends enough time online already - if she joined another forum I'd never see her!!

So yes, I am selfish, and keep this site all to myself.

Now, if she were to find it on her own, I have no worries and nothing to hide.

[Marilyn Beck]

I have encouraged my wife to join this site, but she has very little interest in reading about the lives and times of CDers. Occasionally, she will look over my shoulder and read some posts, but she gets bored very quickly.

[Eryn]

I am a wife, and I am the one that reads the forum! I have shown it to my husband a few times, being all excited about what I am trying to show him. Saying crap like, "Look, dude! Dudes like you!". He "Uh huh"s me and walks away. I am sure it is because he is purged at the moment. No matter how hard I try to keep Erin out in the open, he shoves her in her hiding spot. But with all I have learned from being on this forum, I will be ready to welcome her home whenever she may get back here.

Let me thank you for being supportive of your husband, even if he apparently rejects your support. We CDers tend to have a few demons of our own and apparently your husband is still dealing with one or two of them. Sometimes we just can't recognize how good we have it.

[Kate T]

but she has very little interest in reading about the lives and times of CDers. Occasionally, she will look over my shoulder and read some posts, but she gets bored very quickly.

I'm a CD and honestly, half the time I have very little interest in their lives and times either. But then again I don't get facebook or twitter. I am not interested in either what you wore or what you ate for dinner last night!

Personally I don't think this site is good for a "newbie" SO. It's just a bit too overwhelming at times as much as the Mods and GG's do their best. There are other sites out there with what I guess are a bit more of the "basics" or FAQs on Transgenderism that I think a GG would do better to get their head around first. Then I think she can come here with a better set of tools to sort out what does and does not apply to her and her partner.

[Rachel Mari]

I told my wife about this forum soon after I discovered it. She did follow it for (maybe) a month but lost interest and doesn't bother anymore.

She is actually very supportive in that she wants me to find new friends/support group to help me come to terms with myself and get out with people. She has bought me some jewelry and a couple of items of clothes. Even said she would meet me somewhere (like at dinner out) with me being en femme, but I'm not there quite yet. Working on it as I would like it to happen.

Things have changed with us since that time (about 1.5 years ago): She's dating other men and we haven't slept in the same bed in almost a year. No divorce yet. But in about 3 years that may change when our daughter gets out of grade school, but then she will only say that a change is going to happen.

[PretzelGirl]

After I told my wife and later also with my oldest daughter, we had talks about how I felt. I always believed you had to have those talks before pointing them to on-line resources. After those talks, they both got on here and read until they felt all they wanted to learn. I don't believe either has been on since but you never know.....

[Sarah Roberts]

My now EX wife absolutely found it repulsive and disgusting that I enjoyed dressing like a woman. I'm still not sure how my dressing all came about and when it truly started but boy.. am I glad it did. Once my dressing was out in the open, I asked her to come on here and read some of the fantastic posts written by both CD's, their SO or other genetic women who admire us but she had absolutely no interest. I was completely cut off from her emotionally and physically once she found out and so I stopped for a while about 2 yrs but the lack of love, support and interest in me had disappeared from her for eever. All she had was sheer anger and hatred for me which just drove such a wedge between us that I finally left. We have been apart for 3+ yrs now and I will say that there is a silver lining around every cloud.. what's meat to be will be... Since then, I have met so many wonderful women (GG's) and dated some, that absolutely love me as Sarah and want nothing more than to spend as much time with Sarah as they do with my male self. The feeling of knowing that a woman in your life who enjoys all sides of you is so empowering... I truly wish for everyone to experience it. Life is amazing now.. I have seized the day and my new adventures are only just getting started. Sorry for the rant... my apologies everyone..

[Glenda58]

No the wife doesn't like to dress and wouldn't understand the need to talk about it with others.

[CINDYO]

my 2 cents, if you told your wife you are a crossdresser, you will not have to introducer her to anything, she is a GG and like myself, I found and joined this site without even telling my husband. If she is at all interested/concerned enough to invest some time, or should i say lots of time, to find out what crossdressing is really all about. GG usually do this type of thing on their own:). If the relationship is to progess a wife absolutely must become informed.

[Eryn]

My now EX wife absolutely found it repulsive and disgusting that I enjoyed dressing like a woman....I asked her to come on here and read some of the fantastic posts written by both CD's, their SO or other genetic women who admire us but she had absolutely no interest. I was completely cut off from her emotionally and physically once she found out and so I stopped for a while about 2 yrs but the lack of love, support and interest in me had disappeared from her for eever. All she had was sheer anger and hatred for me which just drove such a wedge between us that I finally left...

I have a feeling that, in this case, CDing was like a match that starts a forest fire. I find it hard to believe in a situation like this that CDing was the only contentious issue between the partners. If the fire wasn't started by CDing it would have been initiated by something else.

It sounds like you are in a better place despite (or perhaps because of) the turmoil!


my 2 cents, if you told your wife you are a crossdresser, you will not have to introducer her to anything, she is a GG and like myself, I found and joined this site without even telling my husband. If she is at all interested/concerned enough to invest some time, or should i say lots of time, to find out what crossdressing is really all about. GG usually do this type of thing on their own:). If the relationship is to progess a wife absolutely must become informed.

Funny how philosophies differ. I'm a CDer and asked my wife if I should join this forum. At that point, the decision was whether to keep things completely between us or to widen my horizons to include the people here, a decision that ultimately would affect her. I felt that she deserved a say in that decision.