I refuse to lose everything

[Jamie Dawn]

Ok here I go, I'll probably offend a lot of people here but,
I'm sick and tired of people saying you need to loose everything in order to be who you are! That's a bunch of B.S
Is a GG willing to loose everything in a divorce because she has to free herself from a bad marrage? NO! She fights for everything tooth and nail!
I'm tired of the TG community suggesting that if your Tg or Ts that you have to be weaker than a GG would be otherwise your not really a TS. That in and of itself is such utter BS!
I am a really good person no matter what sex I am. People have not liked me just because of my sex, they liked me because of me!
People will in time learn that they liked me because of who I am not for what's between my legs. I will not fade into the shadows! I will not become a weak woman! I will not loose everything just because friends, family or other TS's think that this is what I should do!
I am not just preaching this, I am living this! Yes family had trouble with this but I'm still here! And they are learning I'm not going anywhere and they are starting to accept who I am.
I think that it's B.S. to tell someone to loose everything otherwise your not really a TS.
A gender born female would NEVER be this weak so why should we!
I have told my friends and family that this is who I am, you liked me before and you'll still like me after, and If you don't, YOU can go on your merry way cause I won't! And I also told them that if they ever try to harm me to keep in mind that I'm very well armed and a damn good shot so I will defend myself!
Yes, I did tell them that!
I will not be weak for anyone!! I won't go away!!
We need to fight for who we are!! Stop backing down!!
We are people too damn it!!
Jamie Dawn

[Aprilrain]

Jamie I think you misunderstand. No one is saying that a person should give everything up. People lose marriages because their spouse no longer wants to be married to them. Are you suggesting that wives be forced to stay married to a transitioning TS? Again once divorce becomes a reality the money flows like water to lawyers, courts, child support, and spousal support. These are inescapable legal realities, this is not someone being weak. Or do you suggest the TS woman abandon her family to avoid theses financial inconveniences? You can say "I'm not going anywhere" but no one is obliged to give you so much as the time of day if they so choose. If you mother, brother, father or sister want nothing to do with you what recourse do you have? That is their choice. Many people are "let go" from jobs as soon as they come out. One can not force an employer to keep them employed and discrimination is nearly impossible to prove. This is what we are talking about when we say be prepared to lose everything.

[AudreyTN]

no one said anything about needing to lose everything, it was stated you should be willing to lose everything. big difference. being willing, means doing what you want, be who you want to be, and don't worry about anyone else, but if it should come to pass, don't let the fear of losing families, friends, possessions stop you from being yourself or getting what is you want in life or where you want to go.

that was the intended message.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Jamie,


You did not offend me with your post but you dont understand what we mean by loss.

It wasn't my idea to lose my wife but I did.
It wasn't my idea to lose the job I transitioned on because of who and what I am but I did.
It wasn't my idea to lose my family because what they thought what I did was an abomination to God but I did.
It wasn't my idea to lose my health at the time due to the stress the above put me under but I did.

Get it?
These things were taken from me.
I had no control whether to keep them or not.

And now Jamie you understand what we mean by loss.


Julia

[Jamie Dawn]

All points well taken, but here is what I am saying, Did your wife marry you just for your penis? If so, how shallow is she? And if so, you really didn't have a strong marrage in the first place and it may not have been your fault.
If family or friends chose to leave once you come out then it's their loss! Does that mean that they only loved you for your penis? How shallow are they? My family won't have anything to do with me and it's their loss, and they know that if they ever try to get in my face ever again about this issue I'll react with anger! They are the ones with the problem and they know that's how I feel!
As far as jobs and getting fired once you've come out, That is as wrong as wrong could be! Martin Luther King fought for equality no matter what skin color a person was and we shouldn't stop fighting for our rights no matter what gender we are.
What I really am saying is get in peoples faces if they turn to hate instead of love! Just as Martin Luther King refused to go into hiding and not be seen of again so we should be the same way.
My attitude twards people who want to hate me is, they better think this through! And as I have said before, I can defend myself.
I won't go away. I'm me. I'm hear. And damn it I'm a person too!
And yes, I am willing to loose my life as long as people learn to accept us.
So as far as willing to give up everything to be TG, I am willing to loose my life to further our cause if it means we are finally treated like people! But I won't just shut up because friends or family don't like what I'm doing.
I'm not saying that most of you went away willing but mean people need to realize that just as Martin Luther King would not go away neither will we.
Love to all,
Jamie Dawn

[STACY B]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWWWWWW Thats what Im talkin bout !!!! Agirl after my own heart !! Ya see thats where alot of folks get it twisted ,, I dress like a girl ,,, Fight like a man ,,,, So say what you will ,, An we shall see ,, SUPA STAR !

[Stephenie S]

Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.

You totally misunderstand.

In the OP, she talks about having to hold ON to those things that are important to her. Her job, her significant other, her family.

What I, and ALL the others who responded, mean is that you need to be PREPARED to lose everything. Why? Because you very well might just lose everything. Many, of course, do not lose everything. But many do, and if you think you have to hold on to so much of your old life, perhaps you may not be quite ready to transition.

Stephie

[Jamie Dawn]

Please don't insult me by saying that I'm angry and not ready to transform just because I refuse to stick my tail between my legs and run. I am a very strong WOMAN and will not for you or anyone back down from a fight! Where this issue is concerned I have done that most of my life but not anymore! I am starting a movement in the TG/TS community and either your with me or your not. You have no idea how far along this process of tranforming I am. I have not just started this. I just got to the point that I won't back down from anyone any more.
I am a leader! NOT a follower!
If anyone is willing to join me I would love the support.
But don't insult me ever again. If you have a problem with my outlook and or direction then PM me and we can talk about it.
Again I am not angry with ANY of my issues, I am angry with how the world wants me to hide in the shadows as if I don't exist. I won't do it!
It is time to be strong!
I most definatly love who I am! And I want others to feel the same. If it makes you angry that I want others to quit hiding and be happy with who they are then your the one with the problem.
I would love to have company down this new path of total acceptance of us from the rest of the world.
Love to all,
Jamie Dawn

[Aprilrain]

I am a very strong WOMAN and will not for you or anyone back down from a fight!

What does this have to do with the OP or the responses to the OP?

What part of transition requires one to fight? And with whom? If you wish to be an advocate for "transgender" "rights" bravo I applaud your efforts, rest assured no one here is stopping you! Advocacy, while noble, has little to do with the process and likely consequences of transition. For me, it was giving up the (internal) fight that broke the cycle of self hatred and denial and allowed me to progress and grow as a person and a woman.

It sounds like emmi finds herself at a crossroads. It would not do her or anyone else any good to blow pink smoke up her a$$. The reality is, divorce is likely, family and friends often reject us, even without divorce the high cost of SRS, FFS, and BA make transition EXPENSIVE and often times out of reach which only exacerbates dysphoria and depression. Heck, I spent a years earnings in a single day on FFS! Worth it? HELL YES! But now I'm broke and still have a host of other problems that transition does nothing to address.

[ReineD]

I received a complaint about words that were spoken in Emmi's thread and I am dealing with this by first extracting Jamie's posts from Emmi's thread and all the responses to it, in order to return Emmi's thread back to Emmi.

To Jamie, I want to say that you yourself said you might offend a lot of people here, and so I hope you understand why I am removing your controversial and more forceful approach from Emmi's thread, who deserves responses dealing with HER situation, not yours. I've also removed talk of violence and guns from your post. Read our rules, we do not allow this here.

Also, you need to allow others to disagree with you without coming back in and threatening fights. If you continue to do this I will shut down this thread, and any sustained threatening attitudes towards others will risk you being banned from this forum.

You can voice your anger without threatening to harm others.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWWWWWW Thats what Im talkin bout !!!! Agirl after my own heart !! Ya see thats where alot of folks get it twisted ,, I dress like a girl ,,, Fight like a man ,,,, So say what you will ,, An we shall see ,, SUPA STAR !

I"m still waiting for one post from you that has even a smidgen of humor, meaning or value...

++++++++
Jamie...get a grip on yourself...you really are lashing out in language at assumptions YOU have made about the meaning of posts...and based on this thread you don't really seem to have a good handle on what people are saying..

All that guns a blazing talk is not going to help you or anybody....

When you fight against "them" for who you are...you need to be prepared for consequences...you can't control everything and everybody..and nothing you or i do will change that...so we do our best (hopefully)...and sometimes for ts people it works out quite poorly....and you need to be ready to FIGHT for yourself if it does go poorly..
how can anyone have a problem with that??

[Silentpartner GG SO]

All points well taken, but here is what I am saying, Did your wife marry you just for your penis? If so, how shallow is she? And if so, you really didn't have a strong marrage in the first place and it may not have been your fault.
Jamie Dawn

I am sorry but I take exception to this remark - there are wives that are willing and happy to stay with their husband's during and after transition, and I applaud them for it - they are exceptional wives. However, there are many wives who are not able to stay married under those circumstances. They're not shallow, or selfish, and they undoubtedly did not marry their husbands "just because he has a penis" they could marry any guy if that was the only criteria! they probably love their husbands very much but are just not able to accept marriage to a woman. Whilst I'm happy to accept my husband's cross-dressing I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that if he were to transition, that would be the end of our marriage.

Speaking purely from my own point of view, I married a man, I want to stay married to a man, I am not lesbian, I dont want a new girlfriend, and I certainly dont want a wife. So by your standards, I am just shallow???

[Sandra1746]

You can't force people to like you. You can't force people to continue to associate with you. You can't force your employer to keep you on the job. You can't force your church to keep you as a "member in good standing". You can't force your wife to remain married. And on and on.

That is what everyone here is referring to with respect to "loss". Is it guaranteed to happen? No. Might it happen? yes. You don't get a choice in most of these events.

With understanding to all,
Sandra1746

[Kristy_K]

I myself think losing everything is base on the importance of your transition. Everyone I know would have preferred not to lose anything in the course of there transitioning. But then came a time they did have to make a choice or chose the road to take.

Another thought is that what does your transition really mean to you. For me life wasn't important unless I did transitioned. Now life is important to me. I am very proud to be me.

Kristy

[Traci Elizabeth]

Holy mackerel! I'm glad I ate my Wheaties today!

[Nikki A.]

You're right in that you should fight for whatever you want. But in fairness in regards to marriage, a woman married a man, now you are a woman, she should have a say on whether she wants to be with a woman, to the women who decide to stick with their SOs I applaud you. To those who decide that this isn't what they signed up for I accept your decision and see your point.
As a widower, I never reached that point with my wife since I don't feel the need to transition. However if I did want to transition and she were still alive, I would hope that she would stick with me. If she felt that she couldn't, I would have understood and tried to part as friends with an equitable distribution of whatever we would have had. That's life and if you want to make a major transition in life then you must accept there will be consequences, good and bad.

[juno]

I think you should feel strong enough about transition that it would be worth losing everything, only because society is not used to us yet. BUT, you should not have to lose anything. You should not have to even fight for it.

I have been married for 28 years, and monogamous with her for 30 years. Our marriage has always been very strong. And yet, I don't hold it against her for wanting to get diverced. She doesn't want to be married to a woman, and that is a very reasonable position. We will stay family, but not married.

[AKAMichelle]

I have heard some of the remarks on here about leaving their former life behind to start over. That helps to get rid of a lot of baggage. Some people require that while others do it to avoid the issues of transition.

Regardless of what course you take I think the feeling that comes through from time to time is that transexuals are victims. We don't have to be. We also don't have to fight for our rights all the time. We are women just wanting to live a normal life.

We are survivors. We will continue to live and be happy. We are women!!!

[Stephenie S]

Please don't insult me by saying that I'm angry and not ready to transform just because I refuse to stick my tail between my legs and run. I am a very strong WOMAN and will not for you or anyone back down from a fight! Where this issue is concerned I have done that most of my life but not anymore! I am starting a movement in the TG/TS community and either your with me or your not. You have no idea how far along this process of tranforming I am. I have not just started this. I just got to the point that I won't back down from anyone any more.
I am a leader! NOT a follower!
If anyone is willing to join me I would love the support.
But don't insult me ever again. If you have a problem with my outlook and or direction then PM me and we can talk about it.
Again I am not angry with ANY of my issues, I am angry with how the world wants me to hide in the shadows as if I don't exist. I won't do it!
It is time to be strong!
I most definatly love who I am! And I want others to feel the same. If it makes you angry that I want others to quit hiding and be happy with who they are then your the one with the problem.
I would love to have company down this new path of total acceptance of us from the rest of the world.
Love to all,
Jamie Dawn

Hmm. Not angry?

OK. Maybe just too much testosterone.

Listen dear. No one wants to fight you. Mostly we are all just trying to get along. We disagree. Sometimes we disagree a lot. But in general we aren't up for a physical altercation. Try a nice cup of tea.

I don't think anyone has told you that you have to lose anything. But sometimes you do lose things you wish you hadn't. Transition is not easy and many who actually do transition (as opposed to those who just talk about it), lose things quite dear to them. This does not mean that they are weak or fearful. It just happens. S**t happens to strong people too (and you have to be strong to transition).

There are many incredibly strong people here who actually HAVE transitioned. You need not waste time trying to convince them that they are weak, fearful people hiding in the shadows. It just ain't so, hon. It just ain't so.

S

[Bree-asaurus]

You just don't get it... you can't make people accept you.

As has been stated many times, you have to be PREPARED to lose everything... but that doesn't mean you will.

If your wife really wants to leave you, she will.
If your boss really wants to fire you, they will.
If your family doesn't want to pick up the phone, they won't.
You can't just shout in their faces "I'M A STRONG WOMAN! I WON'T LOSE ANYTHING" and expect it to work...

Seriously, you even say this yourself:

I have told my friends and family that this is who I am, you liked me before and you'll still like me after, and If you don't, YOU can go on your merry way cause I won't!

Umm... you just lost those people who went on their merry way. THAT'S THE POINT!

[Jamie Dawn]

To those of you who are all up in my face,
Where was your strenght to those people who were rejecting you?
I don't dislike anyone here on this forum at all. I just want all of you to be as strong to others who don't like you as you are to me who does like you.
As for losing a job. There is something called the EEOC. USE IT DAMN IT!!
Yes I am angry! At those who hate me, reject me and those who are like me but won't fight for their rights. But not with those who support me and love me.
Quit being angry with someone who loves you and start being angry with those who don't.
As I have stated before, if your with me than great, if not, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY! I don't have time for whiners.
As always,
Love to all,
Jamie Dawn

[Jonianne]

........As I have stated before, if your with me than great, if not, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!.......

Jamie, in your first introduction post you said, as a man, you were "overly agressive, overly angry, and overly forceful". Hopefully in time, you will find that the ones who responded to you are not against you, but many are wise in their experience in life and transition and have your best interest at heart. Listen with your heart and give them a chance.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Jamie,

The amount of seething anger in your posts is palpable.
This is going to manifest itself into some physical illness if it hasn't already.
I admire your fight I really do but in the arena of trans acceptance you must meet opposition with understanding and not sheer anger.
To understand and study the enemy is to know the enemy Jamie.
I lost alot as you know but I did not concentrate on the loss, I concentrated on working towards replacing what was taken from me.
This is why I am so successful at who and what I am.
The best revenge is living well Jamie. I live very well.
Monetarily, physically, spiritually I have replaced everything I lost and have improved to new levels what I have now compared to what I had then.
Concentrate on yourself rather than those that would do you harm and your revenge will be sweeter than anything you currently know.


Julia

[Kaitlyn Michele]

ok no whiners...
so stop whining...

just transition and be yourself...live well as Julia says..its actually quite empowering...

the more anger and the more ultimatums you throw out there, the more it will blow back to you, and we won't pay a price for it...you will...

[Jamie Dawn]

Thank you so much for all of your concern for me and my health and happyness. I'm not in bad health, nor am I angry, what I was trying to do is motivate you all into reallizing how strong as people we all are. Not just as individualls but as a group.
As for loosing everything, I would not know, I have been "me" for a long time now and have just recently decided to dress in public "fully" as a female and have lost nothing.
Yes I did tell my family to go pound sand but not because of their reaction to me being T/G, heck most of them knew something was up for along time. I told them to get lost more because of comments to my wife like calling her a bitch and comments about my oldest daughter being a primadonna. Plus a whole other slew of bad treatment me and my wife and children have gotten from them.
As a matter of fact my mother still wants to have a relationship with me but I told her not yet, her and the rest of my family have not changed yet.
My wife and kids are strongly behind me, not to say that there aren't bumps in the road but what marrage doesn't have those from time to time?
As for my friends, I haven't lost a single friend since coming out. I took a diffrent approach than most do, I told them to look up GID on wikipedia and let me know if they still wanted to be my friend. All of them called back and were very supportive and as a matter of fact I have been talking with them alot more now then I ever did before. They all call every couple of days and see how I am, if they can do anything for me or my family and offer their support. They also tell me if I ever need to talk to give them a call.
So I haven't "lost" anything over this issue, I've gained.
What I was trying to do was rally our community.
I found out that in Colorado Springs ( the closest large city to me) there are 12,000 T/G's that live there, that got me to thinking, we are allways worried about our safety, treatment or jobs. What if only half of that number rallied around every T/G issue in our community and issues like being fired from a job would mean that 6,000 of us called that employer to voice our anger about the treatment that T/G person recived? The same goes for when one of us gets treated bad by a business and 6,000 people called that business? And what if we did this in every city in the U.S? We would be unstopable!
Are my ways controvercial? Yes. But I just wanted to motivate this community to stand up for our rights and realize that we "Don't have to lose everything" I didn't, so it can be done.
So I'm not angry, The so called 'GUN THREAD" was not a threat but rather a post to let people know how strong of a PERSON I am. And that you can be just as strong!
My therapist and I are trying to get a movement started so that we as a community can and do stand together and fight for our rights. She knows that I'm not angry. She knows that I'm a very motivated person who wants to enact changes in our community. It can be done, I've done it in my life.
So don't get mad and motivated with me, join me and use that motivation to enact real changes in the world.
If you would rather not join me and would instead rather ban me from this site then so be it. But it won't deter me from my goals, and maybe in the future once I've changed things for the better for the T/G community then you will look back and think "Hey I remember when she was talking about this very thing on our website."
If you don't want to join me then that's OK and your choice and I will not hold it against anyone. I do however hope that I'm successful at this venture so that ALL can benefit from this.
As allways,
Love,
Jamie Dawn

[Elizabeth Ann]

Yes I am angry! At those who hate me, reject me and those who are like me but won't fight for their rights. But not with those who support me and love me.


All this anger seems to be because people will not do what you want them to, which is to support you in what you want to do. I suppose there is no reason why you cannot condemn intolerance by being intolerant, but it does not seem to be a winning strategy. Occasionally, someone comes along to point out that "rights" have a cost. The cost of freedom of expression, for example, is that it only works if applied to all.

Jamie, anger is usually the process of allowing others to control your emotions. Recognize that a slight or a rejection says something about them, not about you. The opinions or actions of others can be important to you, especially those you love, but responding with anger is a reaction, rather than a carefully considered action to get what you want.

It is easy to slip into playing the victim. We all do it. But victims are always . . .victims.

Liz

[edit] Jamie, I just saw your comments you posted while I was writing this. They sound a lot calmer and reasoned. My apologies if I misinterpreted your earlier remarks.

One question. You stat that you recently learned there are 12,000 TG's in Colorado Springs. That is an amazing number, and I wonder if you could give a source. In particular, I am wondering if there are reliable estimates for other areas, such as the metropolitan area where I am.

Regards,
Liz

[arbon]

"Don't have to lose everything" I didn't, so it can be done.

You have completely misunderstood what people have been trying to say.


Rally and join you in what exactly? No thanks. I really don't like your attitude or approach and would much rather you not try to be a advocate for the transgender community, your not suited for it.

[Jamie Dawn]

You have completely misunderstood what people have been trying to say.


Rally and join you in what exactly? No thanks. I really don't like your attitude or approach and would much rather you not try to be a advocate for the transgender community, your not suited for it.

You don't have to rally behind me and that is your choice. You have your opinions and feelings and that is what makes America great.

But if you haven't guessed by now, I don't let others tell me what to do or how to act, just as you are free to your own ways so am I.

As for "I'm not suited for it" Hey coming from someone like you who doesn't wanted to be judged, thanks for judging me.
But, Love allways,

[Kaitlyn Michele]

you're a trip.. you don't make very much sense..
i'm starting to wonder if you are a performance artist or something..

good luck to you

12,000 tg folks in co springs?? name them!!!

[Stephenie S]

12,000 TG people in Colorado Springs is somewhere around 3%, right? Did I do my math right? Does someone know of any statistics for the population in general? I have no idea about these sorts of things.

Liz, I do know that there are a lot of TG people in the Baltimore/DC area.

S

[Nicole Brown]

I am really not quite sure what you are trying to accomplish with all of your anger and threats, and yes, I do believe that you are an angry person who likes to bully people into falling in line and following you. That said, I support your desire to advance the rights of and acceptance of Transgendered people. but then I support these same things for every minority.

I am certainly glad to hear that you don't insist that I join you because personally I wouldn't follow you anywhere. I am, as most other woman on this forum, an intelligent logical thinking individual. In other words, I can think for myself and don't need anyone, namely you, to tell me to fall in line and follow. What makes you think that you know what is best for me, or for all of us for that matter? As I already said, I support your efforts as they apply to you, but only to you.

Through out history, we have encountered individuals who thought they knew what was best for everyone. History has proven that in nearly every cases they didn't, usually not even for themselves. So, instead of threatening a group of intelligent individually thinking people to get in line and follow you, why don't you actually accomplish something significant first and then ask for support to expand what you have already accomplished.

I like the direction that my life is moving in and I am not sure what you what to accomplish with your actions. In order for me to ever consider supporting you I would want to know exactly what you are talking about. In other words, spell it out for me so that I can decide if your efforts are in my best interest.

[arbon]

12,000 TG people in Colorado Springs is somewhere around 3%, right? Did I do my math right? Does someone know of any statistics for the population in general? I have no idea about these sorts of things.


S


According to this (http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/study-shows-how-many-americans-are-gay-lesbian-bisexual-transgender/news/2011/04/07/18551) it would be .3% of the population.

[LeaP]

Jamie,

Sorry, but I simply don't see the value add in the confrontational approach being advocated. What I already see happening is a culture shift with the acceptance of TG issues, good work in groups like Human Rights Campaign, and political progress based on the appeal of fairness and the refinement of scientific understanding.

The intensely personal nature of TG issues - the struggle to understand and be, transitions, psychological fallout, and its fundamental nature (gender) make it a bad fit for the approach suggested. In fact, it would reinforce incorrect stereotypes of FtM spectrum people with the general public.

Count me out. I also agree with Arbon in that I would not want you to be seen as an advocate for the TG community.

[Badtranny]

Jamie I was gonna ignore this little tempest in a teapot, but alas I am too weak to do such a thing.

It's really great to see you posting because you somehow make me seem almost cute and kitten like while advancing some of the same ideas I've been a champion of for a little while now. Your message is clear and while I agree and even support nearly every plank, I'm afraid your platform is a little too rickety for more than one person just yet.

I would suggest honing your skills on this very forum as there are some of the sharpest minds I've encountered on the net right here in our cozy little space. Many of them have ignored your rants so far, but if you are unable to gain the respect of fellow T-girls, then that doesn't speak well of your current ability to organize and lead a movement.

[Jamie Dawn]

Jamie I was gonna ignore this little tempest in a teapot, but alas I am too weak to do such a thing.

It's really great to see you posting because you somehow make me seem almost cute and kitten like while advancing some of the same ideas I've been a champion of for a little while now. Your message is clear and while I agree and even support nearly every plank, I'm afraid your platform is a little too rickety for more than one person just yet.

I would suggest honing your skills on this very forum as there are some of the sharpest minds I've encountered on the net right here in our cozy little space. Many of them have ignored your rants so far, but if you are unable to gain the respect of fellow T-girls, then that doesn't speak well of your current ability to organize and lead a movement.

LOL, thanks Hon, that is exactly what me and my therapist are working on. I'm very brash and I need to be able to temper myself as to where I get my point across without pissing everyone off. LOL! Thanks so much for being able to understand me.
Love allways,
Jamie Dawn

[Jamie Dawn]

you're a trip.. you don't make very much sense..
i'm starting to wonder if you are a performance artist or something..

good luck to you

12,000 tg folks in co springs?? name them!!!

Ok hon, go to this website,
www.one-colorado.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/SurveyResults_BigBook.pdf
If I'm liying then so were they. Cause they were where I got the info from.
Love allways,
Jamie Dawn

[arbon]

Ok hon, go to this website,
www.one-colorado.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/SurveyResults_BigBook.pdf
If I'm liying then so were they. Cause they were where I got the info from.
Love allways,
Jamie Dawn

According to the link you provided:

"In analyzing data from the uS Census and other sources, the Williams Institute at
uCLA School of Law estimated that more than 186,000 lgbt individuals live
in colorado, including 12,000 transgender people. The Census showed that
gay and lesbian couples live in 62 of colorado’s 64 counties. "

edit: which, if the UCLA School of Law estimate is correct, would put the TG population of Colorado Springs at around 1,250

[Elizabeth Ann]

Ok hon, go to this website,
www.one-colorado.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/SurveyResults_BigBook.pdf
If I'm liying then so were they. Cause they were where I got the info from.
Love allways,
Jamie Dawn

This is actually an interesting survey. It is not completely clear where they get the 12,000 TG in Colorado (not just Colorado Springs), since it reports on a survey of the LGBT community, rather than the population as a whole (although they do claim to somehow use census data as well).

The survey seems to be much more LGB than T. Respondents were L&G: 83%, B: 9%, and T:3%. With a sample size of 4,600, that is 138 TG's. They don't report confidence intervals or statistical significance, so difficult to know how serious to take the results. Nevertheless, two results did jump out at me. Trans folks had much lower income than the other groups, and were less likely to be in a committed relationship than the LGB's. Also, 15% of respondents had no health insurance, but almost double that (29%) or the trans sample had no health insurance.

Oh, and: "Transgender individuals are more likely than gay men to practice Buddhism." Must be a Colorado thing.

Liz

[ReineD]

Are my ways controvercial? Yes. But I just wanted to motivate this community to stand up for our rights and realize that we "Don't have to lose everything" I didn't, so it can be done.
So I'm not angry, The so called 'GUN THREAD" was not a threat but rather a post to let people know how strong of a PERSON I am. And that you can be just as strong!

Although I appreciate your motives, there's a difference between inner strength and being hot-headed.

Again I remind you that any violence here will not be condoned (read our rules specifically about guns), even if you didn't meant it and also that your methods serve to pit people against you, not with you, as you can see from the responses to your posts. No one likes to feel they are being threatened (even if you didn't mean it).

Also, we have a number of successfully transitioned TSs here who have thoroughly followed through with what you are now embarking, and I strongly recommend you read their posts carefully and not be so quick to put them down, just because some people in their lives could not live with their decision to transition. Like it or not, there are such people and no amount of threatening will "make" them be accepting. I'm talking bosses, clients, customers, neighbors, acquaintances, some family members, etc. This is simply a fact of life.

Making the decision to walk away from non-accepting people is not being weak and "taking it while lying down". It is being realistic.


According to the link you provided:

"In analyzing data from the uS Census and other sources, the Williams Institute at
uCLA School of Law estimated that more than 186,000 lgbt individuals live
in colorado, including 12,000 transgender people. The Census showed that
gay and lesbian couples live in 62 of colorado’s 64 counties. "

edit: which, if the UCLA School of Law estimate is correct, would put the TG population of Colorado Springs at around 1,250

To do the math, the population of colorado is 5.1 million:

http://www.google.com/publicdata/explore?ds=kf7tgg1uo9ude_&met_y=population&idim=state:08000&dl=en&hl=en&q=population+of+colorado

... which means there is a trans community of less than 1% across the state (one fifth of one percent (.002) to be exact).

[SuzanneBender]

WOW I feel like I have just watched an episode of Springer.

Jamie if I understand what you are saying it is that we need to stop rolling over and submissively taking what happens to us. We need to stand up and fight for our families, jobs and friends. Dear we have or are depending on where we are in transition. I don't think there is an our person that has read your thread that has not fought to maintain the parts of their lives that they love. Many of the wise and brave sisters on this forum who warn us to expect to lose everything offer that advice from hard earned wisdom. They are not saying don't fight for your loved ones, career or friends. They are simply telling us that life isn't going to be exactly the same as it was before and to expect utter acceptance from everyone is folly.

I agree that we need to do a better job of standing up for our rights as a community, but I think your methods, although well intentioned, are severely flawed. What you describe in your thread doesn't sound like the peaceful actions of Dr. King they sound more like the violent actions of Malcom X. We will never gain acceptance by getting up in someone's face. We gain acceptance through respectful dialog and by understanding that some have the right to never come around to our way of thinking.

[kimdl93]

Jamie, I don't think most of us believe that you "must" lose any or all of your present life. Some do, some don't and there's lots of people with experiences from one end of that continuum to another.

That being said, its important to know that there are risks associated with coming out as a CDr, even more and greater risks assocaited with transitioning. Being mindful of the risks equips each of us to avoid or manage them more effectively.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

LOL, thanks Hon, that is exactly what me and my therapist are working on. I'm very brash and I need to be able to temper myself as to where I get my point across without pissing everyone off. LOL! Thanks so much for being able to understand me.
Love allways,
Jamie Dawn

yes work on that.. sorry but right now you are much better served working on your own situation

also make sure you understand what you are reading...throwing incorrect data around only makes all of us look bad and lessens your credibility..especially when you give the whole condescending read it and weep link as your back up..

its insulting to hear your whole rant aimed at a group of people that are living fully affirmed lives in their proper gender roles..how dare you...

its doubly insulting that the whole thing stems from comments that you clearly do not even understand...

[kellycan27]

To those of you who are all up in my face,
Where was your strenght to those people who were rejecting you?
I don't dislike anyone here on this forum at all. I just want all of you to be as strong to others who don't like you as you are to me who does like you.
As for losing a job. There is something called the EEOC. USE IT DAMN IT!!
Yes I am angry! At those who hate me, reject me and those who are like me but won't fight for their rights. But not with those who support me and love me.
Quit being angry with someone who loves you and start being angry with those who don't.
As I have stated before, if your with me than great, if not, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY! I don't have time for whiners.
As always,
Love to all,
Jamie Dawn

I don't have time for whiners either... I am out! of here! :battingeyelashes:

[Aprilrain]

As for loosing everything, I would not know, I have been "me" for a long time now and have just recently decided to dress in public "fully" as a female and have lost nothing.

Yes I did tell my family to go pound sand

They all call every couple of days and see how I am, if they can do anything for me or my family and offer their support. They also tell me if I ever need to talk to give them a call.


So, just so we are all on the same page, define "recently".
Have you changed your name and gender marker?
Are you "fully" "female" at work?
Have you started HRT?

Isn't telling your family to "go pound sand" exactly what you are advocating we fight against? Or are you taking a "you can't fire me because I quit!" approach?

I don't know your friends but I've been around enough TS folks to know we all have pretty similar stories. My guess is at least some of your friends are calling because they are waiting for you to wake up and smell the coffee or they are concerned about your wife and daughter because they think you are crazy. Besides, as you said, you only recently came out, give it time, it is not uncommon to have an initial "positive" reaction simply because people are in shock.

I think as others have stated, now is the time to focus on you and your family. There will be plenty of time for advocacy later.

[AKAMichelle]

You just don't get it... you can't make people accept you.

As has been stated many times, you have to be PREPARED to lose everything... but that doesn't mean you will.

If your wife really wants to leave you, she will.
If your boss really wants to fire you, they will.
If your family doesn't want to pick up the phone, they won't.
You can't just shout in their faces "I'M A STRONG WOMAN! I WON'T LOSE ANYTHING" and expect it to work...

Seriously, you even say this yourself:


Umm... you just lost those people who went on their merry way. THAT'S THE POINT!

I think this is very well said