Looking better as a girl than as a guy [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Yuka

11-05-2005, 12:28 AM

I find it really sad that I look much better as a girl than as a guy. I don't have a prominant jawline or chin, my brows are naturally scarce (it just wouldn't grow!), my mouth is so tiny and I am so soooo underweight and skinny. Plus my hair is so long and rebonded, when I go out as a guy, I got alot of stares. Stares which says "You look like a freak".

I actually got fewer stares and more smiles when I go out as a girl. Really sad case.

DonnaT

11-05-2005, 12:32 AM

:violin: Oh, how I would love to have that kind of problem.

KatieZ

11-05-2005, 12:50 AM

And this is a problem how?

Hugs

Shannon

11-05-2005, 12:50 AM

Yuka -- yours is not a sad case -- sounds ideal to me! Enjoy it.

robyn1114

11-05-2005, 01:00 AM

I think Katie said it all

Yuka

11-05-2005, 01:01 AM

Well my girlfriend is only attracted to me cos she says I'm generally a good person and I would make a wonderful husband later :o But I'm sure she would call the whole thing off when she finds out what I do.

Other GGs are not attracted to me because most girls would not like an underweight skinny androgenous looking guy with long female hair. If I'm dressed as a girl, with some luck I can get some attention from guys, but I am not gay.

So basically my love life is finished. That to me is a big problem :(

Madyson

11-05-2005, 01:20 AM

Yuka you are VERY cute. You're a natural at dressing up, i think if you look better and feel better as a girl, don't be afarid to do it. Don't be ashamed u look femme.. thats a great thing!

susiej

11-05-2005, 02:14 AM

Yuka,

You have it all -- enjoy it!

While a few GG's seem hell-bent (so to speak) to date, love and marry creeps, it's been my 40-year experience that in the long run, nice wins.

Remember, all you need is one of them, and it looks like you've got that!

Love and respect her, love and respect yourself, and you'll never want for GG companionship (for very long ;)).

Your pictures have us all green :D with envy.

Hugs,
Susie

Francine

11-05-2005, 03:06 AM

I don't know what it is, but when I dress, and looking like a woman, I feel I look 10 even 15 years younger. Many have said that there is no way I could be 51 years old, (check profile pic) but with a auburn/red wig, make up, and such, I feel I do look, and feel younger.

And it may be, because of the smile it puts on my face.

Enjoy it, while you can.

Yuka

11-05-2005, 04:19 AM

Thanks for all your support! :)

Sometimes I thought about the day when I am no longer able to dress up anymore (due to work commitments or some other reasons), I would either go for my hormone therepy or just die or something. But right now my mind is set on starting a family sooner or later. If I am gay and have absolutely no feelings for women, I would have gone for hormones long ago.

Actually I'm at a stage where I'm still wondering if I am gay because I am starting to not like women anymore. More often than not, I find myself staring at other women NOT because of how hot they are, rather I stare at them to see what they wear, how they makeup and their body language :o If a girl is prettier than me or has a good looking boyfriend, I would get jealous.

And yet I still harbour hopes of starting a family with another woman, but in a society where looks is above all else, there is nothing a butt ugly guy like myself can do to find a GG to have a family. I am pretty sure if I lose my current girlfriend (which I will if I come out to her), its the end of my love life.

cathy b

11-05-2005, 05:36 AM

i shoud have such problems. you look great so just enjoy it.

Teddie

11-05-2005, 06:16 AM

Kimberly

11-05-2005, 06:27 AM

Actually I'm at a stage where I'm still wondering if I am gay because I am starting to not like women anymore. More often than not, I find myself staring at other women NOT because of how hot they are, rather I stare at them to see what they wear, how they makeup and their body language
Same for me... but I've been through a few female relationships and getting pretty tired of them now.

I'm bisexual, so I'm moving more towards men at the moment, but that doesn't mean you have to!!

In my experience, deep down - you know already.

There's a difference between denial and knowing what you are.

xx

Yuka

11-05-2005, 06:29 AM

Yuka, you need to be who you are. I look at women just like you do, to see what they're wearing, how there make up is done, etc. And, I'm not gay. Though I'm not jealous if they're with a hansom man.

With your girl friemd, you seem sure that she would leave you if you came out to her. Why do you feel that way? Is it something that she's said? A reaction to seeing someone crossdressed? Have you ever taked to her about it in such a way that that she wouldn't know you were talking about yourself?

Asians are more conservative, and we don't generally accept cds as much as the west does. I don't have to ask her or anything. It simply is. Once she finds out I cd, she is simply going to look for another guy. That is all and simple.

So in a way u girls are lucky to have SO who are so understanding and supportive.

cindybarnes

11-05-2005, 07:07 AM

Hi Yuka,
I feel like I look better as a girl also. My guy side doesnt attract GG's but Im lucky to have gotten married while young.
I bet there is a GG out there that would appreciate you for who you are, and I have seen several posting here that explained why they like us that have our softer sides.
If you end up looking to date again. try going to some of the lesbian based clubs, the girls there are usualy accepting and you never know you may find one that enjoys the best of both worlds :)
Being intimate with 2 GG's while dressed is not something I should be thinking about so early in the morning tho LOL but has crossed my weird mind before *S*

Good luck and be who you are

Cindy

DonnaT

11-05-2005, 07:38 AM

Asians are more conservative, and we don't generally accept cds as much as the west does. I don't have to ask her or anything. It simply is. Once she finds out I cd, she is simply going to look for another guy. That is all and simple.

So in a way u girls are lucky to have SO who are so understanding and supportive.

I have to disagree there Yuka. A friend of mine is from China and she had no problem with my CDing. We weren't in a relationship, but still, she says it goes on all the time in China.

There have been recent articles about men dressing in Japan, even.

Now, I'm not sure about Korea, but a recent TS singing group from there has made it big in Korea and elsewhere.

My suggestion is to lead your GF into thinking it is her idea to dress you up, if you can't be honest and open with her (honesty is preferred!). See how she takes to the idea.

Elinor

11-05-2005, 07:50 AM

Yuka what a lucky guy you are to look so girlie. Look at it as a blessing not a curse.

Enjoy who you are to the full.

Gosh what I would give to be able to pass as a lovely woman now and then, the fun one could have. You would have no problems finding woman's clothes to fit.

Girlfriend enjoy life your blessed you really are.;) :thumbsup:

Deidra Cowen

11-05-2005, 07:51 AM

Yuka...its probably a bit dangerous the way we all give advice on here dispite the fact that we know each other just from reading a few posts. But regardless I'd just encourage you do live the life you want to live!

As for women that like CDs...I promise you they are out there. Don't give up on your Girlfriend but if things don't work out another lady will come along. You are very lucky by the way...you are one of the most natural and beautiful looking CDs I've seen in a while....thats one heck of a gift...use it!!! :D

Like you and Cindy are saying...I too seem to make a better looking fem than male. :rolleyes: I was dating a GG for a bit. The first time she saw me as a male I could see the dissappointment in her eyes. It actually cracked me up and I teased her about it from then on. I've met and seen a lot of the tgirls here in Atlanta and sooner or later we see each other in drab. I have noticed a lot of pretty CDs are average to below average looking guys.

Having nice femmy facial features seems to somehow subtract from the male appearance.

Hang in there girl!

Deidra

shea

11-05-2005, 09:11 AM

You're not the only one. I guess some of few in this forum including myself has same problem as you. I never been out in femme yet, but when I go out as a guy, people are staring at me too, thinking me that I am female crossdresser:confused: . Some says If I had proper make-up and hair done, I would look more like Miss ****** or something. Like many girls are saying, enjoy who you are, and if you don't like it, try to change yourself, by go to gym, or do many guy thing. I have tried many things to look as a normal guy, but now I feel, somehow I started to give up for what I am looking at. :) At leat you have SO who likes you meaning she likes girly boy style.

Abby Lauren

11-05-2005, 09:19 AM

Yuka
I never thought my wife could come as far as she has. You can never know in advance who will be attracted to you even when she finds out you're a CD'er. Nothing is that cut and dried. Don't give up. There's hope out there for people who are nice and treat their women well.
Hugs,
Abby

kathy gg

11-05-2005, 11:25 AM

Hi yuka

I just wanted to pipe up, from the gg camp who likes (as you said) " underweight skinny androgenous looking guy with long female hair."

I am happily married to a cd, but there are women like us out there who are reasonably attractive (albeit differnet ourselves), nice, and somewhat kinky/open minded. I always liked more feminine androgenous guys. That was my inclination since I started dating. I am no model, but I was no slouch either.

As for finding a woman into a guy like yourself who will find you drop dead sexy as a guy or a girl...look in Cosplay (google for more info) or girls into anime, girls into gothic punk rock or really any alternative lifestyle. Yes if you are looking for a 'status-quo' girlfriend that is super safe looking to take home to meet your parents you are probably destined for non-acceptance. But different/kinky/unique/funky girls do exsists. We are not conventional (who wants to be that anyay?) but we are also open minded and game for alot.

If my husband had played it safe and dated some church going girl who thought Celine Dion was the pinacle of good music he would be alone. But he took a chance on me, a concert going girl with purple hair. And life is pretty darn sweet.

Don't look to 'nromal' girls, look to different girls ...it may mean broadening your horizons as well. Then crossdressing and a woman finding you attractive won't be an issue at all

hugs
kathy in canada

Pam Girl

11-05-2005, 11:49 AM

It could be you are really a lesbian like I am. You sure look like a knock out gorgeous gal!!!

Stephanie Brooks

11-05-2005, 12:50 PM

Hi Yuka!

I can only imagine the frustration you experience. You're not quite male, not quite female. As a male, you're a misfit. As a female, you're not quite yourself. You want a normal relationship and fear you can't have it. You want to have a family. Your current relationship awaits the revelation of "Yuka" and what you see is its inevitable end. You live with that inside every minute of every day.

It's women like Kathy GG and others in these forums that give hope to each of us. They're the bright ones, the ones who can see beyond a bit of cloth, the ones who have brains, the ones who have beauty inside as well as outside.

For some of us, our path is determined, established. We cannot deviate from it very much. For me for instance, my daughter Alice is everything, and I won't easily give up my marriage for the CD side of me. Yet my marriage is in poor health.

You have potentially many paths you may choose. While there's no guarantee of finding that one special woman and finding the ideal path, perhaps by coming here you'll discover paths you might not have otherwise seen. ^_^

Rachel Morley

11-05-2005, 01:09 PM

Hi Yuka,

I too used to have depressing thoughts about how I seemed more attractive (to me) when dressed as a girl than as my guy self. However,since meeting my wife Marla, she has convinced me that I'm fine the way I am. Admitidly she does like a feminized male and my regular "guy self" is more feminized now than it was before I met her, but I have come to accept myself more now.

Incidentally, like Kathy, when my wife read your words about ggs not liking "underweight skinny androgynous looking guys" she too said "ooh no, that's what I like".

Anyway, my point is whether you are dressed as a guy or a girl you are skinny and underweight - right? Your facial features are still small and petite - right? So it seems obvious to me that your girlfriend already likes delicate non-manly men, maybe she's not going to be quite against you taking things a little further than you think. Why don't you try to talk to her about it without giving the game away - so to speak.

Marlena Dahlstrom

11-05-2005, 01:11 PM

Don't give up Yuka. As others have said there are GGs who are attracted to feminine guys, it's just a matter of finding them.

The other thing to consider is potentially "butching-up" to be more masculine while en homme. Think of it as Yuka being a FTM. ;) Obviously everyone needs to find something that fits for them, but you might find you can be fairly feminine and fairly masculine, depending when you're en femme or en homme. A friend of mine is like that and she describes this way: En femme she's trying to be the girl of his dreams for her guy-side and when she's en homme she's trying to be the boy her dreams for her girl-side.

Incidentally, looking at women to check out how they look and act is perfectly normal for a CD. If you truly lose your sexual attraction to GG, it's possible there are other things going on, but then it's time to talk with a gender therapist to help you sort it out.

jessi girl

11-05-2005, 01:59 PM

:confuse:

Julie

11-05-2005, 02:46 PM

Methinks something's not quite right. That picture of Yuka is a picture of a GG. The hands, the face, the hairstyle. If Yuka wants to look like a man why the long hair with a female cut? Also whenever a TG comes here and complains about looking more girl than guy I find that very strange. The vast majority of us would love to be able to pass as a woman. Then Asians are more conservative? Not from all I've read.

If I'm wrong, I apologize but my nose tells me I'm not.

TGMarla

11-05-2005, 03:28 PM

Hmmm.......Julie may be on to something here. The "Day to Night" photos are the same. If I were Yuka's SO, I would not be acting so surprised that she's crossdressing, since it's normal for people who really look like women to dress like women.

Can you just hear this exchange?
Yuka: Honey, I'm a crossdresser.
Yuka's SO: Oh, my! You're kidding! But I thought you were so MANLY!
Yuka: Sorry to surprise you like this.
Yuka's SO: I just can't believe you want to look like a girl!
Yuka: But honey, I already look like a girl. Didn't you read my post? I'm a "butt-ugly guy"

Yeah, right. Butt ugly. You know what? Fat plumbers with hair on their backs are "Butt ugly". We should all be as butt ugly as you. Sorry. I don't mean to be mean. But reading these posts from you, Yuka, makes me feel like I'm in the presence of a used car salesman. If that's really your picture, no one with any sense is going to be all that shocked at finding out about your "feminine side".

shea

11-05-2005, 04:03 PM

I am still in quite confusion if this is really YOU!!. If it is you are really Welcome here! I have heard in Japan, that she is quite famous TS, and the link of her main page is http://my.peps.jp/tsubakiayana. There are photos of her, and it seems the photos in this forum are very identical. I found that her name is tsu ba ki ayana. am I correct?

Merinda

11-05-2005, 04:16 PM

Hi Yuka,

In the past I've had a similar problem , from about age 13 to 39 I have been mistaken for a girl many times.
I was very skinny and fitted into size 12 (junior) clothing , I had longhair and some people got a suprise when they heard my voice.
I loved the experience of someone in a shop asking if the lady requires any assistance etc.

At 45 I have put on weight , have very short hair and require a wig and a good make-up job to pass in public which has worked OK (so-far).

When I'm not dressed I have a bottom that sticks out like a young gymnist , a big girly mouth , girly lips and the skinniest wrists ever.
In general I look like a freak to myself and hate it , I liked the old look better when I had long hair but its got too thin to go back to that.
Most Women are repelled by me and its miricle that I eventually married , I often wonder what my life would be had I been born female rather than a male that looks like a f^&*$ed up scientific experiment:eek:

TGMarla

11-05-2005, 04:17 PM

Yep. Same chick. Look at the link that Lady Corree has in her last post. Famous Japanese transexual? I can't read the Japanese alphabet, but it's obvious that the lady there is not really so secretive about her gender problems. Thanks for taking everyone here for a ride, Yuka. You know, all we really want here is a fair shake, without all the bull hockey we have to put up with in the real world. Laugh if you want to. I'm sure you feel like you scored some points at the expense of those freaky crossdressers, but we really don't need crap from you. We get it enough in our daily lives. Most of us here can honestly say that we didn't go out of our way to become like this, but this is the hand we are dealt, and we deal with it as best we can. This forum is one of the things in our lives that makes who we are and what we are more tolerable. So thank you very little for your little prank. Next time save it.

:mad:

Rachel Morley

11-05-2005, 04:20 PM

I'm not so sure the link shows a girl with a spot on her nose, in Yukas avatar there is no spot - photo editing or not?

I'm confused !

Merinda

11-05-2005, 04:32 PM

Yuka needs to reply to this ASAP to clear this matter up

one way or the other

DanaJ

11-05-2005, 04:43 PM

Here are the links to the original pix -
http://www.peps.jp/u/a_detail.php?id=tsubakiayana&conse=3&seq_no=54009&rows=30
http://www.peps.jp/u/a_detail.php?id=tsubakiayana&conse=3&seq_no=47673&rows=60
http://www.peps.jp/u/a_detail.php?id=tsubakiayana&conse=3&seq_no=43379&rows=60

Yuka, we are confused here, could you reply and help us out here? Thanks :)

Marlena Dahlstrom

11-05-2005, 04:47 PM

Yuka, you've got a some explaining to do. Your avatar photo matches #99 on the site Lady Coree mentioned.

Your "Morning to Night" photos you posted here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=255585) match photos 34, 37, 49, 65 and 69 on the same site (http://babelfish.altavista.com/babelfish/trurl_pagecontent?lp=ja_en&trurl=http%3a%2f%2fwww.peps.jp%2fu%2falbum.php%3fi d%3dtsubakiayana%26conse%3d3%26rows%3d30).

Julie

11-05-2005, 06:48 PM

Another problem, if you look at the photos posted you will see real fingernails (they're thin, not thick like acrylics) so if Yuka is so upset about not being able to pass as a man why does 'he' grow long fingernails?

I checked the IP and it's Asian so that checks out but the pictures say this person lives full time as a woman so that makes the story BS.

This isn't the first time this has happened.

I say fraud.