Didnt think telling a girl I dress would result in this!

[cdkateinboston]

Ok so in order to keep this post from rambling, I will leave some details out of this story, but I wanted to see if any other girls have run into this when first telling a girl that you had a feminine side you like to express. So I had a friend that I started hanging out with again after a decade of not seeing each other. She brought me to my first gay pride parade and was open about her bisexuality (had told friends/parents/even me shortly after we started hanging out again). I eventually told her about my feminine side and although nervous, started bringing my things over to her place to dress together. Turns out I knew more about things like makeup then she did, and we shared knowledge together. It was good fun but more was sort of developing between us and it started seeming like it was moving towards a relationship.

But thats when the unexpected happened. Now, I believe a lot of us girls want to tell our SO's not only because we want them to experience and know the whole us, but also because we want to use their knowledge and experience to improve our feminine personality. So in a sense, we use our SO (not using the term "used" in the bad deceitful way) to further our feminine side in some way or another, and usually we are used to hearing that the SO has to go through a period of adjustment.

Well that is not what happened with this scenario. It was obvious that she enjoyed hanging out with and fooling around with my feminine side and when I was in male mode it became more and more awkward. And then it donned on me that instead of me using her, she was using me to help with her coming to terms that she was a lesbian (while she hasn't come to that conclusion, myself and her close friends gay and straight all feel the same way). So it was weird, here I was, with a girl who was far more into my feminine side then my male side! And while on the one hand it was awesome, I also do enjoy my male personality as well and it felt like she was trying to bury that so she could be with Kaite all the time.

Long story short, we are still friends but that is where it stops. It wasn't right for me to be with someone who was looking for something that I wasn't (completely any way). I was just wondering if any other girls here have experienced something like this? Having hoped to find a girl in your life that opens up something new and exciting in you and your feminine side, only to be the one that opens up something more in your SO's side that they maybe never expected?

Anyways, I hope all you girls are well!

[marny]

sounds like you won the lottery. enjoy your friend and feel great crossing.

[Bree Wagner]

Your story sounds almost like a fantasy for many single CDs, but good for you for realizing that life has more in store for BOTH sides of you. I bet that took a lot of soul searching since so many of us have dreamed about that person who wants to see more and more of our fem side. The only thing I think I can offer that's similar is that I think I know more about makeup than my wife. I'm probably not better at it, but she almost never uses it so doesn't have much reason to learn anything from me.

Best of luck in meeting someone who is interested in both sides of you in the ratio you both can be happy with!

-Bree

[sissystephanie]

Kate, I told my late wife that I was a CD when I proposed to her and we had almost 50 years together. Other than my 2 children, I have ony told one other lady whom I do love. Unfortunately, she is married and lives in Scotland!! I think certainly you did the right thing in regard to your friend. It is nice to have a friend who knows that your are a CD, but not a lesbian who wants you to be her girl!! Good Luck!!

[Aylineira]

Kinda sounds to me that you are what she needs in her life right now - male with a female brain. This whole thing could get very confusing soon LOL. Good luck with it :)

[Noemi]

Good for you. You are a strong person who follows their intentions.

I had an experience with a lesbian friend. She was attracted to me, while I was in boy mode no less, and she could not understand why...I told her about Filomena.

She is a domineering personality and, well charismatic too, and I found myself wanting her attention. Eventually I was dressing at her place and staying over and, well, while it was exciting and I enjoyed being her girl, she would flip and be mean to me too. She had her own issues and I am insecure about my feminine side. It was as if I journeyed to the Island of Misfit Toys LOL!!

I remember looking at a photo of her and realizing that she looks just like a man, and I liked that, but anyway that is just me, still sorting things out am I...in the end she made me feel terrible and I got out of there, she proceeded to call and email for the next six months, but I never responded...this is turning out to be a bad story, sorry. But in the end it did not feel right, and I am a moralist, so if it does not feel right and I can not make it right I move on.

I am glad you can be friends with her. It was wonderful for that time for me to be Filomena with someone, as I am sure you can relate to. For me it does get lonely in the closet dressing for who.....

Thanks for your post, I am in kind of a weird place tonight....but glad to be here.

[Barbara Ella]

Your friend is very lucky to have you as a friend. You have made the correct decision, and if/when she makes her choice, she will be doing it for the right reasons, and you will still be friends.

Barbara

[sara123]

lucky you! good to hear that.

[Katrina Black]

I think because for a lot of men its easier to talk to a girl who hangs out with guys like one of the boys .

[amyinhiding]

sounds like you won the lottery. enjoy your friend and feel great crossing.

Totally agree with Marny on this one! I can't say I've had the same experience, but I haven't the nerve to come out to any one .... the people who know my in girl-mode know me in girl-mode only, and the people who know me in boy-mode hopefully don't suspect anything!! Good for you, though! Hopefully I can grow to be as brave as you!

[amyinhiding]

sounds like you won the lottery. enjoy your friend and feel great crossing.

Totally agree with Marny on this one! I can't say I've had the same experience, but I haven't the nerve to come out to any one .... the people who know my in girl-mode know me in girl-mode only, and the people who know me in boy-mode hopefully don't suspect anything!! Good for you, though! Hopefully I can grow to be as brave as you!

[Sophie_C]

Hmm.. this does sound like you won the lottery, as people said, since you could be as femme as possible and she LOVED it, which is about as rare as a white buffalo, as everyone knows here. The rarity of it is a part of why I am in the closet. But, if that doesn't work with you, so be it. It just goes to show that we're not the only ones going on the journeys of our own. You were part of hers. You still got a great friend out of it, someone you could share that side of you with, so it's all great, in the end...

[RachealCD]

Just the fact that you were able to share your coming out with someone is incredible! I waited a few years into my marriage before I told my wife, and although hesitant at first, she and I have so much fun. I just wish I had told her sooner.

[kimdl93]

An old saying comes to mind: "Some people would complain if you hung them with a new rope!" But seriously, I do understand that she may be moving in a diffferent direction that you are. I mean, if she really wants a female partner, and is involved with you only because you're a halfway point on that journey, then maybe its not the right relationship for either of you. On the other hand, she may well like having a male friend and a CD lover...that might be her preference. Before distancing yourself, maybe you should have an honest conversation with her about what each of you is looking for in themselves and in a partner.