First Post, Not Sure What To Think

[AliceMeetsTheWizard]

I have been experimenting with CD since I was much younger with several bouts without due to various reasons up to and including good old fashioned Catholic guilt. However, I came to a decision. I don't want to JUST wear lingerie and dress around my house by myself anymore (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Some of you might naysay me for this, but I am going to do my best to be comfortable enough to go out dressed head to toe and (hopefully) looking fabulous on Halloween 2012. A date which I have picked because (though I would NEVER compare what I do to donning a "costume" because it's not) I feel like the possibility of getting rejected would sting less if I could then at least act like that was what I was doing.

I am very fortunate to have a wonderful, caring, magnificent hair and make-up GG friend who is going to help me spend the next few months both in working on my look/mannerisms and gaining confidence through smaller outings and just getting used to being around her much less other people when I am dressed.

Anyhow, I just purchased my first gaff (one of SEVERAL purchases to come) and therefore found this forum and decided to join. I was super excited about having others to talk to but after reading some of the other posts I'd like to say something. I welcome advice and criticism or just generic conversation, but if at all possible I would prefer to avoid some of the "snarkiness" I've read through in previous posts. I may not fit your "view" but I let you do you...please let me do me.

All that being said, if you made it this far, welcome to my life. I do have a question for those who do venture out. Do you have issues ever with being I.D.'d? I'm not so much worried about Halloween (another plus to the whole "costume" angle, I'll just say its Halloween). How do you handle it? If they look at me presenting as a woman but I hand over a male license?

Lastly, I'm also looking for advice and guidance on breast forms, corsets, wigs, purses, heels, pads for my lower curves etc etc.

Thank y'all for your time.

[Diane Smith]

With one exception, the only times I've ever been asked for ID while dressed were when entering a bar or other adult establishment. The bouncers are used to seeing CDs in these places (and some recognize me from previous visits), so there has never been any hassle.

I was visited at my home by a police officer one night after I had a minor fender-bender backing out of my driveway. I was dressed and on my way to an evening nail appointment, and hit a car parked across the street on a rainy and slippery night. He handled the situation with complete professionalism and dignity and, although I was embarrassed for having caused the accident in the first place, and having to deal with the ticket, insurance companies and so forth, being seen dressed added very little extra stress to the situation due to his sensitive response.

Potentially, I suppose I could be asked for ID when buying something in a store, but I usually use my debit card and no questions have ever been asked. If they did, I wouldn't hesitate to show my license. It's not exactly a mystery to anyone serving me that I'm a crossdressed male, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't see any need to yell this out to the other people around if they valued my repeat business.

In almost any situation where you're asked for an ID, being honest and forthright will create less suspicion than hesitating or trying to hide anything.

- Diane

[Kristy_K]

Going out in public sounds scarier than what it really is. I remember how scare I was the first time I went out. Now I wonder why it took me so long.

As for ID, you wouldn't be the first to be asked for it.

Just go out and enjoy life and have fun. Life is to short.

Kristy

[Jenniferathome]

Well,if anyone requests your ID: police or bartender, show it to them. They don't care. Now, regarding Halloween, remember that most guys do not dress like women on that night, and when they do, it is usually a "joke" appearance, much like Monty Python. Simply dressing as an average woman WILL draw attention. As you stated, it is not a costume. Keep that in mind as anyone seeing you will suspect you are a crossdresser.

Now, that said, GO OUT! It is not nearly as scary as you may think. The barriers in front of us are imagined more than real. Basically people don't care and therefor do not notice. When they do notice, they look and move on. Have fun

[sandra-leigh]

There was a time when I researched the possibility of getting (legal) femme ID. It was important to me then, but it turned out it couldn't be done without a legal name change. I remember not wanting to be given away when showing ID at bars... that was during the (relatively short) phase where I thought I could Pass. I also remember not wanting to be given away when shopping, so I wanted a femme debit card. Later that evolved into not wanting to be named using my male name by the cashiers ("Thank you for shopping here, Mr. ________")

Discovering that I couldn't Pass no-how was a downer, but it also laid the groundwork for me to become openly Transgender, as I found that people accepted me well even knowing what I was.

Once I got past the idea of Passing, my main concern about ID became that my only real ID was one issued by my job, and I didn't want links between me and my workplace. That one eventually got solved when I needed to get a provincial ID in order to get my passport.

[ArleneRaquel]

Hello Darlin,
Thinking about going outside dressed enfemme is scarier than actually go outside about 100% of the time.. CatholicAnswers, a conservative Catho;ic site has stated thet CD'ing is not a sin. Welcome to the forum and enjoy.

[JessHaust]

Congratulations, you are beginning a journey that is wonderful.
I have been ID'ed many times and it is not an issue. One of my best friends (a CD'er) is here from Mexico on a work visa. She has been terribly nervous about getting stopped for some reason and not only having a male ID, but one from another country. She was afraid that she would be scooped up and deported. Well this last weekend we were out and she told me it finally happened. She made a turn on a Yield only street and a cop followed her for several blocks then pulled her over. He told her that she ran a stop sign and then looked at her ID. Now, she is very pretty and passes easily, so the cop did a double take, looked close and then gave the ID back and told her to drive carefully. No ticket, no hassle nothing! Remember, there is no law against wearing women's clothes, so you are doing nothing wrong! Plus I can imagine the paperwork some poor cop would have to fill out for even trying to give you a hard time!
One more story for you, another friend (yes CD) was shopping in a department store and went to pay for her items. She handed her Credit card to the SA and he looked at it and asked if it was her husbands card! She tanked him, then say 'no', and explained that it was hers. No problem, he rang up her items and went about his business, maybe a little more confused than he started the day!

[docrobbysherry]

Welcome, Alice! Good analogy, too! When I began to get serious about dressing it felt like, "falling down that rabbit hole"! Overwheming, confusing, and compelling!

U have lots of time before Halloween. As others have said, it's best to wear a female COSTUME at Halloween. Not just be dressed as a female! If u don't want to be hassled. Especially if go somewhere folks r drinking!

There's a HUGE difference between dressing at home and going out. At home, there's no limits! Going out requires that u compromise how u look so that u mite BLEND! (That SHOULD be a 4 letter word! It is for ME!)

For any questions RE, "----guidance on breast forms, corsets, wigs, purses, heels, pads for my lower curves etc etc." Visit the Dressing or Beauty forums and look for threads that apply. Or, simply start your own if u don't see them there!

[VickysBFF]

Welcome Alice. A couple of pieces of advice since you asked....
1.) Don't have any guilt over this. We have many Catholic members here and they have posted several threads on this issue. The consensus is that those of them who have discussed the issue with their priests have all been told that Crossdressing is not a sin. It is only sinful if it leads you into committing other sins. And I don't believe that the Church is particularly accepting of hormones, surgery, etc. but there is no issue with Crossdressing.
2.) As to wigs, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE go to a wig store either alone or with your GG friend and either in drab or en femme to try on wigs. Seeing how it looks in person is sooooo important! I have purchased several wigs, all of which I tried on in person at a wig store and my go-to wig is one that I never would have bought online or in a catalog but actually seeing how it looked on me it is amazing how much it feminizes me.
3.) As to heels, I highly recommend Payless for a good selection of larger-size women's shoes.
4.) As to purses, depending on how often you plan on going out it is worth it to invest in a quality purse. You want a couple of them in a variety of sizes but at minimum you need a medium-to-large sized bag for everyday use.
Best of luck to you!

[Joann0830]

I was going to a CD party and was driving thru a random car stop for inspection and insurance and the officer asked for my license and I gave it to him and he took a double take on the license as it was in boy mode. So I explained that I was Transitioning and he told me that I could go to DMV and take a new Photo in Girl Mode even with the Boy name till I I fully transition. As far as buying things I just use my debit card which makes it a lot easier to purcahse anything. Joann0830

[kimdl93]

I'll take a stab at the issue of being ID'd. Don't sweat it....no one cares.

I go out quite often - almost daily. And I'm sometimes asked for my drivers license when I make a credit card purchase. If so, I simply provide it. I'm quite certain that most people already have concluded that I'm a CDr based on my stature and facial features, but honestly, its never been an issue.

[PretzelGirl]

Most of the people who have looked at my ID really don't look much. They get in a hurry and maybe look at the birth or expiration date. I get a kick out of the military gate guards here. They grab the ID and flip it like they are looking at the back, but are so fast there is no way they see anything. I only had one ID check where the cashier paused....and paused..... I finally said "yes that is me" and then she handed it back with her jaw hanging. I think she really wasn't paying attention and didn't clock me because of it and then the ID sent her mind running off.

[Barbara Ella]

Welcomed you in your other post, but wanted to say hi after reading this intro. No one here will nay say you for wanting to go out. Some are closeted, like myself, and this may be a permanent choice, or merely the current stage in development. Everyone here recognizes one thing, we are crossdressers. There are many varieties, but we are all together in supporting each other on the journey.

The only comment likely to be made, and it has been, is not to get disappointed if, after all your work, and help of your GG friend, you just dont pass, and people clock you. Few people are truly feminine enough to pass easily. Others can pass if they really work at it. Others like myself will set off alarms. It is the going out, the getting ready, and the exhilaration when the outing is over that is important. As most have said, even when you are recognized as a dude in a dress, most people really dont care.

You will have a blast on this site. There is more information available than you could ever hope for. No guilt trips allowed, and if you do get down, just jump in here and chat with everyone, and you will once again...have fun.

Barbara

[Victoria Vermilliana]

About being ID'd, it's not really as bad as you think. Most people just don't care! I have a female name on my school ID card, but a picture of old me (boy mode). I go to school en femme every day, and most people don't care. I'm sure they've identified that I'm a crossdresser, but it's not a big thing anymore. It's gone from "Wow, a boy in a dress! Haha!" to "Oh, it's just Vicky! Hi!" If anyone ever asks, just give them the ID and answer any questions they have about it.

The only time I ever got questioned is, like a few people I've read from already, when I got pulled over (first time driving in heels :3 ). The officer asked for my ID, and then asked why the name/picture were different. After that, it was business as usual.

Being ID'd is not a big deal, at least...it shouldn't be! Just be calm and collected about it, and you'll be fine! :D