It's not easy being transgendered (from a different POV)

[Marleena]

Today I looked at the threads here from a perspective of not being transgendered.
By reading some of the posts on here about fantasies and fun and games it might look easy to non-transgendered people. It might even seem like nonsense, you know guys talking about shaving your legs for the first time, or what kind of pantyhose do you like. Or I bought some sexy heels today.

Then you get the ones where the wife is going to leave them because they wear a dress, or the TS girl that gets disowned by everybody in her life because she needs to be herself. Or the CD that has to hide the fact from his macho guy friends and family he likes panties and makeup because they wouldn't understand. These put things back in perspective.

To those that think it's easy being transgendered I say walk a mile in our heels.

[suzy1]

Your having a rant Marleena but its understandable given the world we live in.
Does anyone think it’s easy? Is there anyone that’s so unfeeling?

Well I’m not and that goes for most of us here.

Enjoy being who you are Marleena. Your special.

SUZY

[Lorileah]

If it was easy:

It would be less fun
or
Everyone would do it
or
it would be a sport on the new NBC station that took my movie channel away

[kimdl93]

It's not that easy being green
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold
Or something much more colorful like that

It's not easy being green
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
Or stars in the sky

But green's the color of Spring
And green can be cool and friendly-like
And green can be big like an ocean, or important
Like a mountain, or tall like a tree

When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why
Wonder, I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful
And I think it's what I want to be

I still get tears in my eyes when I hear this song, whether its sung by Kermit or Ray Charles. though it began as a childrens song, and I assocaite it with those lovely years when my sons were little, I've always thought that it spoke to me as a TG person...now more than ever, I emphasize the last line... "And I think it's what I want to be"

[Eryn]

I think that the non-TG folks see much of what we do as a string of trivial activities. Since any one of these can be easily done away with, they naturally wonder "Why do they have to be TG at all?" The half of the population that is the gender being emulated likely feels this strongly, since many of the things we relish are things that they do so frequently as to consider them to be chores. Familiarity does breed contempt!

We, of course, perceive the whole, and at least know what the incessant urge to CD feels like. I don't think that this can be readily explained to anyone who is not a CDer or close to a CDer.

[Marleena]

Your having a rant Marleena but its understandable given the world we live in.
Does anyone think it’s easy? Is there anyone that’s so unfeeling?

Well I’m not and that goes for most of us here.

Enjoy being who you are Marleena. Your special.

SUZY

Thanks for the wonderful compliment Suzy! I'm fine with being TG, in fact I enjoy it. But it did take a very long time.:)


I think that the non-TG folks see much of what we do as a string of trivial activities. Since any one of these can be easily done away with, they naturally wonder "Why do they have to be TG at all?" The half of the population that is the gender being emulated likely feels this strongly, since many of the things we relish are things that they do so frequently as to consider them to be chores. Familiarity does breed contempt!

We, of course, perceive the whole, and at least know what the incessant urge to CD feels like. I don't think that this can be readily explained to anyone who is not a CDer or close to a CDer.

Looks like you nailed it there Eryn!:)

[Laura912]

Having always identified with Kermit on many levels, I agree...But I don't like flies. :yucky:

[KellyJameson]

For me it has been a relief to see so many people having fun with it because for me I was quite sure God created it to slowly drive me insane and the laughter here has helped me to laugh at myself, of course my laughter is tinged with the madness of being an asexual drag queen trying to pass as Ayn Rands reincarnation but thats another story.

[Marleena]

For me it has been a relief to see so many people having fun with it because for me I was quite sure God created it to slowly drive me insane and the laughter here has helped me to laugh at myself, of course my laughter is tinged with the madness of being an asexual drag queen trying to pass as Ayn Rands reincarnation but thats another story.

LMAO great reply Kelly! Fact is we need to let steam off. From a non TG POV we must look silly at times.:)

[kimdl93]

Having always identified with Kermit on many levels, I agree...But I don't like flies. :yucky:

I never liked flies but I do get along well with pigs!

[KimberlyJean]

It is definetly not easy, my life would be alot easier and less complicated if the CDing would go away. But I don't see that happening anytime soon. I accept who I am but I am very afraid that my life wouldn't.
Kim the kermet song is so very true!

[Organza]

Hey Kim,
Actually I liked that whole tape, Kokomo, the Fraggles, Miss Piggy's number...I miss the days with my little sons too. But they're amazing big teenagers now and the hardest two days of my life will be when it's time for them to go.
Lisa

[sandra-leigh]

Having always identified with Kermit on many levels, I agree...But I don't like flies. :yucky:

21 years I've been a vegetarian, but still when something small flies through my visual path, I instinctively make a grab for it. Frog visual centers have specific pathways for detecting frog-food, and apparently I do as well! I guess those kids back in grade-school had it right when they called me "frog-face" :eek:

[Barbara Ella]

Things will seem easy or trivial to someone who does not know both sides of the situation. Only we transgendered can really know the two sides, the outer physical, and the internal mental, and our struggle to put the two together. I realize now that I am transgendered, not just a dude wearing women's clothing (OK, there is that..) I am working out the combination of the two. The public has no idea there is more than one.

Easy No, but necessary, yes. I find it so encouraging what i see from the wonderful girls here

Barbara

[sherri]

The straight world might trivialize or demonize TG expression, but pro or con, only a dolt would think it easy.

[Sandra1746]

You risk condemnation from friends and family.
You don't "fit" into the neat societal categories that most people like.
Your actions may expose you to ridicule or worse.
And many more...

Still it is necessary for us to feel whole.
Nothing valuable or precious is ever easy or free.

Hugs to all,
Sandra1746

[ArleneRaquel]

Not easy, but I wouldn't live my life any other way. If I did I would be miserable. Life is too short not to live what you are as long as it does no harm or other people.

[Jilmac]

Even though I've come out to my SO and several family members, I'm still somewhat apprehensive about revealing Jill to my adult children. I know all too well the difficulties endured in being transgendered, choosing to hide for too many years. I'm out as far as I wish to be for the time being but still able to enjoy the pleasure of my feminine side.

[Cynthia Anne]

EASY!!!! Yeah right! Just this morning I spent two hours trying on and taking off just to get dressed for shopping today! I think not! Hugs!

[Leslie Langford]

Today I looked at the threads here from a perspective of not being transgendered.
By reading some of the posts on here about fantasies and fun and games it might look easy to non-transgendered people. It might even seem like nonsense, you know guys talking about shaving your legs for the first time, or what kind of pantyhose do you like. Or I bought some sexy heels today.

Then you get the ones where the wife is going to leave them because they wear a dress, or the TS girl that gets disowned by everybody in her life because she needs to be herself. Or the CD that has to hide the fact from his macho guy friends and family he likes panties and makeup because they wouldn't understand. These put things back in perspective.

To those that think it's easy being transgendered I say walk a mile in our heels.

You know what they say, Marleena - "No pain, no gain." ;)

[Marleena]

You know what they say, Marleena - "No pain, no gain." ;)

Oh.. I'm past the pain part now Leslie.:) I'm enjoying this way too much now! Only took about four decades to unprogram the you're a guy software.

[JessHaust]

Actually, the longer I do it, the easier it gets. I've told just about everybody, and everybody is fine with it, SO, kids, family, friends. I have been shaving my legs for over a year, so they only take a minute or two a couple of days a week to do. I decided that hip pads were too much, and now that its summer, I don't wear hose, just footies and heels with a skirt or dress. I've gotten better with makeup, and use far less. i go out several times a week and now have the routine down to around 40 miuntes to get ready. Is it easier than just being a guy, no, but far more rewarding, and not that much trouble.

[Sophie_C]

Today I looked at the threads here from a perspective of not being transgendered.
By reading some of the posts on here about fantasies and fun and games it might look easy to non-transgendered people. It might even seem like nonsense, you know guys talking about shaving your legs for the first time, or what kind of pantyhose do you like. Or I bought some sexy heels today.

Then you get the ones where the wife is going to leave them because they wear a dress, or the TS girl that gets disowned by everybody in her life because she needs to be herself. Or the CD that has to hide the fact from his macho guy friends and family he likes panties and makeup because they wouldn't understand. These put things back in perspective.

To those that think it's easy being transgendered I say walk a mile in our heels.

This is why I haven't transitioned. 100%. It seems to be standard for people to lose most everything the hold dear to themselves: families, friends, their job, their career. EVERYTHING. And, then they're left with simply trans friends. I don't know if that cost is worth it.

[Marleena]

Actually, the longer I do it, the easier it gets. I've told just about everybody, and everybody is fine with it, SO, kids, family, friends. I have been shaving my legs for over a year, so they only take a minute or two a couple of days a week to do. I decided that hip pads were too much, and now that its summer, I don't wear hose, just footies and heels with a skirt or dress. I've gotten better with makeup, and use far less. i go out several times a week and now have the routine down to around 40 miuntes to get ready. Is it easier than just being a guy, no, but far more rewarding, and not that much trouble.

Jess you seem to be one of the few lucky ones that doesn't seem to have any obstacles with family, wife, the public, etc. Was it this easy for you growing up TG too? Or is this something unique to the over 50 group having problems?

[docrobbysherry]

Here's another POV for u, Marleena.
AT LEAST, you're one of the squeeky clean TGs here! And, not one of the unwashed untouchables like me! The universally despised "fetish CDs"!
That means u can tell folks about your "condition" honestly. Without mentioning any "dirty details" as I would have to do to be completely honest!

Despite how that may sound, I'm NOT complaining, just explaining! I don't even feel like I'm a TG. Which means dressing is all about having FUN! Considering the terrible suffering some TG/TSs experience, I wouldn't trade places for all the Tea in China! Because for some TGs, FUN is the LAST way they would describe their dressing lives!

[Marleena]

Here's another POV for u, Marleena.
AT LEAST, you're one of the squeeky clean TGs here! And, not one of the unwashed untouchables like me! The universally despised "fetish CDs"!
That means u can tell folks about your "condition" honestly. Without mentioning any "dirty details" as I would have to do to be completely honest!

Despite how that may sound, I'm NOT complaining, just explaining! I don't even feel like I'm a TG. Which means dressing is all about having FUN! Considering the terrible suffering some TG/TSs experience, I wouldn't trade places for all the Tea in China! Because for some TGs, FUN is the LAST way they would describe their dressing lives!

Sorry but you're wrong Sherry. None of us are squeaky clean in the public's eye.

You poke fun at yourself and that must help you deal with it, you are okay with it. I'm okay with me finally, but they aren't okay with us. We are all TG and that makes us different from people who aren't TG. Being different can scare people who don't understand us. They can't know the emotional struggles we go through to accept ourselves unless they were TG. That was the whole purpose of this thread. Best part is everybody has a skeleton in their closet whether they are TG or not. Maybe it's the fear of the unknown of people that are different. A little less judgement and a little more understanding can work wonders.:)

[JessHaust]

Jess you seem to be one of the few lucky ones that doesn't seem to have any obstacles with family, wife, the public, etc. Was it this easy for you growing up TG too? Or is this something unique to the over 50 group having problems?

It would have been so nice if I had done this sooner, but alas, it's an after 50 thing! I wife has always known, but I never really acted on it, what with kids, career family as such. But once the kids were in college, all of our parents passed, My job, well I've been self employees for 17 years, so it's not an issue! Anyway it was just time. And yes, I really know that I am one of the lucky ones. I really just want anyone out there to know that it's not impossible, it can happen. I would have never in a million years believed I could have this life just 2 years ago. So now my only regret is not doing this sooner!

[Karren H]

I really don't understand why you think anyone who is "normal" would think that being anything other than "normal" would be easy let alone easier than what they currently are? Being human isn't easy... Being different is less easy... The only thing that's easy in this life is being dead... So If life were easy we'd all be dead? Lol.

Disclaimer: when Karrens says someone is being "normal" she doesn't alternately imply that anyone else is not normal or abnormal... Karren doesn't condone death, dying, or taking ones life... Though "easy".... Death is so over rated!!

[docrobbysherry]

Sorry but you're wrong Sherry. None of us are squeaky clean in the public's eye.

You poke fun at yourself and that must help you deal with it, you are okay with it. I'm okay with me finally, but they aren't okay with us. We are all TG and that makes us different from people who aren't TG. Being different can scare people who don't understand us. They can't know the emotional struggles we go through to accept ourselves unless they were TG. That was the whole purpose of this thread. Best part is everybody has a skeleton in their closet whether they are TG or not. Maybe it's the fear of the unknown of people that are different. A little less judgement and a little more understanding can work wonders.:)
Of course, Marleena! You're absolutely rite! Based on my meetings with TG/ CD/TSs, there's absolutely no basis for the public to fear and/or despise us as they do!

But, I'm getting to the point where I don't care so much about the vanilla public as I do what I think of MYSELF! What's WORSE than being despised or ridiculed out in public? Or, that your family/friends reject your dressing? It's NOT accepting your dressing YOURSELF! I often think of the TIME and ENERGY I spend, (waste?), on dressing and Sherry.

Altho it's so much fun, I'm just not able to shake the feelings of guilt!

[Marleena]

It would have been so nice if I had done this sooner, but alas, it's an after 50 thing! I wife has always known, but I never really acted on it, what with kids, career family as such. But once the kids were in college, all of our parents passed, My job, well I've been self employees for 17 years, so it's not an issue! Anyway it was just time. And yes, I really know that I am one of the lucky ones. I really just want anyone out there to know that it's not impossible, it can happen. I would have never in a million years believed I could have this life just 2 years ago. So now my only regret is not doing this sooner!

Well Jess my wife and I agreed not to divulge my being transgendered so I'm not sure sure how it would work out for me. I will come clean if anybody asked though. The majority of people have problems with friends and family, etc. so you are lucky.:)

I wish I had accepted myself sooner too but repressed it all. Now it's time to have fun!


Of course, Marleena! You're absolutely rite! Based on my meetings with TG/ CD/TSs, there's absolutely no basis for the public to fear and/or despise us as they do!

But, I'm getting to the point where I don't care so much about the vanilla public as I do what I think of MYSELF! What's WORSE than being despised or ridiculed out in public? Or, that your family/friends reject your dressing? It's NOT accepting your dressing YOURSELF! I often think of the TIME and ENERGY I spend, (waste?), on dressing and Sherry.

Altho it's so much fun, I'm just not able to shake the feelings of guilt!

Get rid of the guilt Sherry! Enjoy yourself, life is too short. If it feels good and makes you happy, just do it. I am.:)

[kimdl93]

.....And yes, I really know that I am one of the lucky ones. I really just want anyone out there to know that it's not impossible, it can happen. I would have never in a million years believed I could have this life just 2 years ago. So now my only regret is not doing this sooner!

Jesse, I have to admit, I have it relatively easy compared to many of the Forum's members. Being self-employed and working predominantly from home, I've a degree of freedom that not everyone can experience. And like you, I have been able to experience things I couldn't have imagined possible not too many years before. It definately is possible, if the stars align properly... but to paraphrase the Bard, the possibilities, dear Jesse, is not in our stars, but in ourselves...

[JessHaust]

Jesse, I have to admit, I have it relatively easy compared to many of the Forum's members. Being self-employed and working predominantly from home, I've a degree of freedom that not everyone can experience. And like you, I have been able to experience things I couldn't have imagined possible not too many years before. It definately is possible, if the stars align properly... but to paraphrase the Bard, the possibilities, dear Jesse, is not in our stars, but in ourselves...
Kim, if the stars ever align between east Texas and Dallas, let me know, my group is very active and there is always something going on, we would love to have you join us.