Please I Need Help

[thechic]

Need Help Please

The other day, my little 7 year old girl just got home from school and told me that some of the the kids at school keeped Teasing her and asking her, "if your dad has female or male gear below" (watered down Words of course).
I told her just ignore it all and if you have problems just let me know again.
untill recently they had presumed i was her mother,so i just found out.hence no issues.

So here is just a small bit about me.
Im TS im living as a female but using my male and female names, this has started creating some issues,but i have pleanty of problems anyway,ive been married for 16 years,have 3 kids One is 18 One is 7 and a baby at 2 Years they call me dad and im ok with that.Im out 24/7 on HRT been on that for 1 Year and am a refrigeration engineer.

The Question

So I would just want to know what would you sugest i should do

Thanks

[Julia_in_Pa]

Geneva,

May I ask why you are still using two names if you have transitioned?
I do not know the laws of your country but I would think that this would cause all sorts of havoc concerning many avenues.
It certainly would for me.
I legally changed my name then changed my documentation as soon I was able.

Perhaps the children teasing your daughter heard gossip concerning yourself thus having some ammo to use against your daughter.

I transitioned in Helena Montana.
Everyone it seemed knew my business as soon as I transitioned thus the reason as to why I am no longer there.


Julia

[Katesback]

So your married....... Does that mean your not going to get SRS? Does that mean your limited to the extent of what your going to be able to acomplish? If it is true you know how hard it is to transition and to do it halfway is only that. Sounds to me like you have your priorities all mixed up babe. That or you want your cake and eat it too.

I am sorry for ya but it sounds a lot like self inflicted injuries.

Katie

[noeleena]

Hi,

Well we can change our names here by deedpoll so thats not a prob ,
How much info have you told your kids, & what have you in mind doing are you going for surgerys or not,

if you are married you can have a marrage anuuld if you need to we allso can do that here as well. ,

youv a few issues, do you need help with those, if i can help email me , im not sure what stage you are up to as of now so let me know,

...noeleena...

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I think you are in a situation where patience and good judgement is going to be your best bet...there is no perfect plan...

Despite how tough it is to see you daughter teased in any way...this may very well be a short term thing...

My girls were 11 and 14 when i started transition ...it took them a while to build up confidence in me that translated in confidence in how they dealt with any bullying or teasing...there was very little of it, but they could shrug it off and the bullies went and found another victim.

I am still dad to them, they love that so i think its great you are dad for them..
and we joke that the only "issue" is that their dad is a "girl".....

It would take alot of work on your part , but i know you lover her..
maybe if you handle her situation with a strong loving hand, and even a sense of joy and humour about it, you can set her up to slough off the words...these little jerky kids may stop picking on someone that isn't getting upset...
she has to know you have her back, but there is no doubt our transitions put kids in the firing line

if you go to the school and complain, thats an option, but you must be sure in your best judgement that it won't blow back on your daughter by making it a bigger situation...
like a school assembly or something!! that was suggested to me and i thought , OMG that is exactly what my daughters DO NOT want...so i never disclosed this openly to anyone..

one difference is I changed my name...

[Allsteamedup]

Dear Geneva,

I have replied to you before.

As a teacher I was most familiar with your child's age group. They would be very curious about your situation and have asked your daughter to explain it to them. Have you helped her in this at all? Once they get their explantion they will most likely move on to another subject.

Is your daughter trying to convey to you in any way that she is not happy with your current situation? Did you foresee any difficulties for your children when you began to live as a woman? These are the sorts of things that you could have ironed out at the beginning. Is their mother at all helpful to you? (I did notice that your daughter told you about her current difficulty).

Children this age tend to be very matter-of-fact about their approach to life. A simple answer to the anatomical question would suffice!

[thechic]

Thanks for all your replies, the proble seems to of dissipated after talking to my girl.
Officialy i only have one name,but most people refer to me by my female name,im not fully transistioned i would love to have SRS but cant yet due to family issues and money. my wife is accepting of me as she has know of my issue since we got married and my kids have know for a lenth of time.they are accepting of me,we do talk alot and do go out and have fun together and geet involved in public activities together.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I'm glad things are working out better for you and your daughter

keep up the good work, having supportive kids is really special

[jillleanne]

I think first, the important thing is your daughter does not begin to feel she has done or is doing something wrong by what she does or does not reply. She needs to be able to answer that question without fear, to anyone that asks. Then it become meaningless( no negativity) to her. If she begins to be bullied about it, report it to the proper people IMMEDIATELY.

[morgan pure]

Call your child's teacher, make an appointment, and let him or her know what's going on in person. Even if there's nothing they can actually do, they can keep their eyes out for trouble. It isn't easy for kids with alternative sex parents even in the most liberal communities and schools. Kids are unbelievably direct and insensitive and sometimes casually cruel.

Children are also very wise in their way and are much more accepting of gayness etc than their elders. Does she know the whole story?