Came out fully to my wife tonight

[reb.femme]

I was caught by my wife a few months ago dressed in her nightie and dressing gown. she was shocked but very quickly accepted. I was actually so shell shocked at the time that I lied about wanting to go fully en femme. I said it was just the lingerie I enjoyed, plus she had suggested we should tell our son's. However, another lie is not what she needed, so tonight after much going over and over the way I would fully confess, I took the plunge.

At this point, I must thank Jennifer (Jenniferathome), for supplying a template for my confession http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?149851-I-told-my-wife!&p=2428087&highlight=#post2428087.

She looked only slightly stunned, we talked and I have promised total honesty from this point forward.

The best thing is that she still loves me and was very gentle and loving immediately after I told her. She had some questions, which I answered honestly and obviously expect more over the next few days/months as this fully sinks in. Obviously, I was already partially exposed, but the relief of total exposure to my wife is the greatest reward in my life since our marriage and the birth of our son's (all grown men now).
Again, a big shout out to Jennifer for her template which provided a solid base from which to work, saving me from reinventing the wheel.

Rebecca

[StacyCD]

Go slowly! I came out to my SO in 2006 and it has taken six years for me to be able to pretty much dress anytime at home. I might have never guessed that I would be at this point in my life (without a divorce), so my best advice is to be honest and be patient! You might get what you want in the end! Best of luck!

[Eryn]

Rebecca, congratulations on the huge step. You're not out of the woods yet, but you're progressing in the right direction! Now is not the time to go on a girly binge!

Be especially supportive of her. Your revelation may have been the culmination of your anxieties, but it is likely the beginning of hers. She will need your support now more than ever.

Remember that she is welcome here on the forum. Right now she has a Really Big Secret and only one person to talk to about it. That can be very stressful. If she joins here she will have the support of many GGs who have been through a very similar experience.

[Stevann]

Rebecca,

If Jennifer's template worked for you, I would appreciate it if you could correct the link. Right now, it doesn't go to Jennifer's template. Thanks.

[reb.femme]

Rebecca,

If Jennifer's template worked for you, I would appreciate it if you could correct the link. Right now, it doesn't go to Jennifer's template. Thanks.

Hi Stevann, link corrected....should work OK now!

Eryn / StaceyCD,

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I had read extensively on here and Gabrielle Hermosa's www.mycdlife.com for ways to proceed etc.
I made sure I was totally en drab for the moment, and have remained that way tonight....although legs were shaven earlier today.
As is always said, beware the pink fog! I have experienced this before but will certainly take the time to ensure my wife is the one that is given the time and space to digest today's, bombshell. So small steps for a while.

[Eryn]

Eryn / StaceyCD,

I made sure I was totally en drab for the moment, and have remained that way tonight....although legs were shaven earlier today.
As is always said, beware the pink fog! I have experienced this before but will certainly take the time to ensure my wife is the one that is given the time and space to digest today's, bombshell. So small steps for a while.

A very good policy. Be careful, as things that we consider to be "small steps" may be viewed by some GGs as sneaking down a slippary slope toward their worst fears. The common way this is put is "we'd set boundaries and he'd break them, just pushing and pushing for more..."

Some GGs also seem to have a strong attachment to their male's body hair. Make sure that you discuss even small changes with your spouse before you do them. I didn't think of this and caused my wife distress. Learn from my error!

[serinalynn]

Good Job Rebecca, on telling your wife. I have had many conversations with my wife about my crossdressing. I guarenteed my wife I had no intention of leaving her and asked honestly that she stay also. WE just celebrated our 31 weddding anniversary on March 29th.

[BobbieBrooks]

I, Also recently opened the door to let my wife know about "Bobbie". So far I have a supportive and understanding loving wife.

Bobbie

[kimdl93]

Rebecca, I'm glad that you were able to talk candidly with your wife. Its the best way to maintain trust in a relationship. And I applaud Jenniferathome for providing a very good guide for what can be a difficult conversation.

It seems you're well aware that there's likely to be more questions and concerns in the days ahead. Be patient and candid, and things will work out fine!

[Tina B.]

Your off to a great start, it seems like she is loving, and working on understanding, that's as much as you can hope for this soon. As everyone says, it's best to go slow now, and let her soak it all in. DON"T ask her to get more involved with it than she is comfortable with, I mean talking about it, when she doesn't want to, or dressing around her, if she is not ready to deal with that. Let her pick the times she wants to ask about it. It can be strange and scary at first, for someone that has no firsthand knowledge of it. But it sounds like you know that already. Good luck to you both, in the weeks to come.
Tina B.

[Silentpartner GG SO]

Congratulations on your bravery - I know how hard this must have been for you - I read Jennifer's thread a while ago and thought how excellent and understanding it was. Amazingly, even though my husband has never been on this site, he told me in virtually the same way as Jennifer -


A very good policy. Be careful, as things that we consider to be "small steps" may be viewed by some GGs as sneaking down a slippary slope toward their worst fears. The common way this is put is "we'd set boundaries and he'd break them, just pushing and pushing for more..."

Some GGs also seem to have a strong attachment to their male's body hair. Make sure that you discuss even small changes with your spouse before you do them. I didn't think of this and caused my wife distress. Learn from my error!

Absolutely spot on advice here from Eryn -

I hope things go well for you and your wife from hereon ans if she does feel able to join here, she will find plenty of support and and help

[BRANDYJ]

Congratulations on coming out to your wife. I am glad it went well for you. I won't add any more advise since what I'd have to say and your own comments pretty much covered my thoughts. The only thing I wonder is why tell your grown boys? Not sure this is a good idea. That is unless you plan on dressing at home most of the time. I look at telling kids as a "need to know" thing. I'd go slow with that plan.

[Jill Devine]

I'm very happy for you. Coming out is a difficult and scary process and especially if you are married. One has a lot to lose.
As everyone says, take it slow and remember to listen and look for subtle cues. Rather move a year too slow than a minute too fast for her.

[RADER]

Just remember to go slow. You do not want to rush this new experience to fast.
Rader

[selfridge]

Well done!! it's not an easy time for either of you, patience and time is the key.

[JamieG]

Congratulations! Be prepared for there to be some ups and downs in your wife's acceptance of CDing. Always show her the same love, support and patience that you would expect her to give you. I wish you both all the best.

[MandyGG]

Congrats! It is a huge step! Like others have mentioned, keep her in her comfort zone. Be honest. And show her that you have no intentions of leaving her!

I hope the best for you!

[Barbara Ella]

You are reading all the right things to do here. I came out to my wife 4 months ago, and she said all was well, and i was free to dress, etc. Even with that, little things crept in. She said i could shave, but when I had no armpit hair, it brought back memories for her and she regressed. So just make sure you both discuss everything, and still be willing to expect and accept setbacks at times. The emotional swings are normal, and must be worked through. Right now she wants a dont ask dont tell, just dont dress in front of me, but dont stop dressing. So I have regressed back to hiding my things and dresing in secret. She said i could underdress, and she does not mind washing my things with hers.

Congratulations, just go slow, and be prepared to backtrack at times. Just means you get to relive it later.

Barbara