natural evolution

[lesliecleves]

Can it be typical to feel and sense a gradual development of feelings that pull one into thoughts of serious transition? Almost as if it were a physical development like growing up?

[Kristy_K]

That could be an very interesting way to say it.

Kristy

[Julia_in_Pa]

Hello Leslie,

Yes, at least with me there was a gradual increase in my GID to the point to where I had to transition.
For me it accumulated starting when I was four years of age to the point of transition or kill myself at 39.



Julia

[elizabethamy]

That's how it feels to me. Pink Fog rolling up onto the shore,thicker and thicker, or just the self opening up and letting the repressed female within out...how far? how soon? etc...

[kimdl93]

I do think that its part of the process of self acceptance. As one learns to accept herself, the possibilities seem to open up. What was unimaginable for me a couple of years ago, seems entirely imaginable now.

[RachelOKC]

Can it be typical to feel and sense a gradual development of feelings that pull one into thoughts of serious transition? Almost as if it were a physical development like growing up?

I think everyone is different, but I'll say that there was a progression for me. I almost transitioned at 25, but pulled way back deciding I wanted to try to live the relatively and so-called "normal" life of a male who just crossdressed. Didn't work. I had to hit rock bottom over the past year to at the age of 40 to shove me over the edge.

[Badtranny]

No progression for me. Once I finally faced the fact that I was never gonna be happy as a guy, it was full steam ahead.

Now, facing that fact was a topsy turvy struggle over a couple of years not to mention a lifetime of denial beginning at age 11 or 12ish. I did not experience the crossdressing escalation that is so common on this board, or the closet trauma that so many have had. I was single so I bought some clothes and went out (with AllieSF) for my first time and Allie will tell you that I was a wreck. After a few months I was still not very good at it and frankly I didn't even enjoy it most of the time. My "progression" almost stopped completely if not for my wonderful therapist who told me that not every Trans person enjoys cross dressing. the way she put it was, "I'm a natural born woman and I wouldn't want to wear what you're wearing right now". (a simple A-line dress with heels and a wig) She asked me how I felt about makeup and I said it's fun sometimes and she said "It is fun to get dressed up sometimes, but I would hate to have to wear the amount of makeup you're wearing right now". I agreed completely and that's right about the time we started talking seriously about my gender issues. Once she realized that I wasn't fetishizing anything or placing too much emphasis on the clothing itself, she began to ask the hard questions about my future.

I think my progression began with denial at adolescence and slowly became self acceptance at a glacial pace over the course of my life. Once you reach true self acceptance, then there is no way to remain closeted or in denial.

[Jonianne]

........Once you reach true self acceptance, then there is no way to remain closeted or in denial.

I very much believe that.

[Kathryn Martin]

My experience was similar to Melissa's. I knew who I was for almost all of my life, I never crossdressed, because the few tries early in my adult life were devastating, and never said a word to anyone about my self. When I decided to transition, there was no doubts or issues. While I suffered for years from depression, sex identity related dysphoria, moved mountains to be as appropriately male as I could muster (everyone thought I was effeminate and said it was the european thing) once I decided it was time, the road was linear, certain, unquestionable and very straight. I have gone from decision to SRS in May in 21 months. I have not once looked back.

After the decision, I built a wardrobe of pieces that I would want to wear on a daily basis for work, home, and play, I purged once when I threw out my male clothes (all of them once and for all), started hormones within three months, went full time eight months after my decision, and just had my RLE anniversary. Surgery in less than a month, then back to living my life as Kathryn.

The gradual development was between age 4 and 9, after that in hiding for 47 years, then execution of the unveiling of my self.

[Aprilrain]

There are many ways to arrive at a decision to transition. I say decision to transition NOT a decision to be transsexual. Let's face it, there are 2 likely scenarios that a person could find her/him self in. One is a CDer who happens to be caught up in the pink fog and believes he should be a girl. I doubt these people make it very far before the shine wears off. The second is that the person is transsexual, there is every level of self acceptance from the 2 year old who just knows to the 70 year old who has repress all their life. Obviously for adults once a realization is achieved the question becomes what do I do about it.

I don't know what I knew when I was 5 I just knew I liked wearin my sisters clothes. When I was old enough to get it I knew I was "wrong" fro wanting to wear my sisters clothes. When I was in my 20s it was becoming increasingly more difficult to hide wanting to wear my sis, well at that point they were my clothes. At 30 I considered transition but had a million good reasons not to and a desire (still) to kill the chick in me once and for all! WOW! Girls are way stronger than I realized:lol: at 34 it became do or die. I'd say that's a progression of sorts.

[Traci Elizabeth]

This may sound lame but I think we all transition when it is time to transition and not before. So is that a progression? If that's what you want to call that's fine.