self-SRS, MTF (not me!)

[sandra-leigh]

On another system, a MTF whom I barely know emailed me a few days ago indicating that they intended to do SRS on themselves live on the internet a couple of weeks from now. Looking around, I see they had been cleared for SRS a decade ago but had been unable to afford it and unable to find any financial assistance. I gather they went ahead and made the attempt the very night after they sent out the email.

By the time I noticed the message and read it tonight, the incident was about a week past. It appears the medical services reached them before they bled out. The person has posted a few times since, including an update with a promise not to do it again. They appear to be sane but not able to find any way to proceed with what they need.

A hoax? No, there is too much fine-grained consistency for me to think so. For privacy reasons I will not be posting quotes from what they wrote or posting name or URLs or other identifying reasons. As much as I don't like posting important matters without giving verifying information, this kind of information is too personal to post in a public area. I will say that this incident was not in Canada or USA -- though I would think it likely that similar things have happened in both those countries in the past and will probably happen again in the future. :sad:

I'm just sitting here and shuddering, with a lump in my chest, thinking of the tragedy of the situation and the despondency that led this woman to make the attempt. Life is not fair at all.

[MandyGG]

OMG! What a horrible feeling of despair to lead to such a tragic outcome! Were they able to repair it for normal urinary function? Was she hoping that doing this would cause the medical team to do an emergency SRS? I can imagine how shaken you are. I am shaken just hearing about it!

[sandra-leigh]

Were they able to repair it for normal urinary function?

I think so. Based upon what she posted afterwards, I think she managed to avoid hitting that.


Was she hoping that doing this would cause the medical team to do an emergency SRS?

She had a pretty complete list of instruments she planned to use, right up to dilators, so her plan was to do it all herself. At least her posted plan. It's a bit more complicated and more ambiguous than that, though. I have the urge to post the links, but I think that's the shock talking.

[Julia_in_Pa]

All I can say if true or not it's quite a tale of desperation.


Julia

[Katesback]

People do all sorts of interesting things. If it is true it does not surprise me. What does surprise me is the number of people I have talked to that claimed they dont have the money for SRS. Never mind that some of these people werent working, or actually owned a lot of very expensive things. Wonder if it crossed thier mind to sell some of the stuff.

Oh well no big deal to me, its all cool.

[MandyGG]

Kate,

Maybe they held on to the "Don't have the cash flow" excuse, for exactly what it is. An out. They didn't have to go all the way, when everyone was asking when the big day was. I could imagine a few men getting cold feet there, as it is irreversible. Maybe they weren't ready.

I am not saying that I believe this is the case for everyone! Just a few, if at all. I am sure there are many who would have SRS in a heartbeat if money were no issue. Down to selling everything they own to see it happen. This story, real or fake, tells the tale of someone who was truly without the means to fulfill their dream. This is a story of desperation. It is heartbreaking to think that people contemplate this. Let alone go through with it!

[StaceyJane]

Even if this person has a letter for SRS I'm sure it doesn't say anything about a do-it-yourself job. This is such a dangerous thing. No matter how much you read about SRS there is no way you could do it on yourself. The amount of pain meds needed even if you stayed awake would make doing and procedure impossible. I've seen people having surgery under local anesthetic and even though they are awake they weren't all there.
Plus the risk of bleeding out is enormous.
I thing any person willing to be so self destructive should be under psychiatric care.
Don't give me anything about how that means I think all TS's should be in a mental hospital, most TS's are quite rational and do things the right way.
And of course it's really can't be that difficult to pay because people in Australia do get SRS quite legally.

[Aprilrain]

Wow! I had a cyst that I had to "operate" on (poke with a sewing needle to get the junk out) and I almost pass out! It is hard to believe that in 10 years time one could not save the money for SRS. It sounds like they are in Australia which is pretty close to Thai Land where SRS can be had for Around $8000+travel and living expenses, let's say around $10000. Even if you can't save a $1000 a year and it takes 12-15 years, is that not better than basically commuting suicide or ruining your chances to have the surgery later? I would think that a person as desperate as her would use that resolve to single mindedly pursue the saving of money to do it properly.

P.S. @ Erin's wife, I'm sure you didn't mean it but calling a M2F TS a man is hurtful.

[MandyGG]

I am so sorry! No hurtful intentions were meant! I promise! I am still learning my PC. I was in the mindset of "genetalia" and I know how protective of it some can be! Please forgive! I feel like an a$$.

[Aprilrain]

I am so sorry! No hurtful intentions were meant! I promise! I am still learning my PC. I was in the mindset of "genetalia" and I know how protective of it some can be! Please forgive! I feel like an a$$.

Ha! If one is protective of his male genetalia he might want to reconsider SRS! That's for sure!

No need to feel bad, just letting you know. I think it takes time to wrap ones brain around it and responded to a persons contrived gender cues, clothes, hair, makeup, situational context, etc. We are hard wired to respond to physical cues like precieved genetalia! Which we glean from secondary sex characteristics. Facial features making up the vast majority of said cues.

Ugh! Was I being PC?? Yuck! Lol

[LeaP]

Just a reminder that the self-hack job has been practiced throughout human history. That's not SRS, of course, but it lends some credence to the story.

Lea

[Persephone]

Many TG/TS folk express a loathing of their birth genitals and the pressure to have those hated parts removed can be enormous. While I sincerely doubt that anyone could successfully perform their own SRS there are those who can, and do, perform deliberate acts of genital mutilation. A very graphic film version of this occurs in the 1972 film, "I Want What I Want (http://www.amazon.com/I-Want-What/dp/B004J4RQYQ)" staring Harry Andrews, Jill Bennett, and Anne Heywood.

Also, just because someone is transgendered doesn't mean that their thought process can't at times be a bit illogical. Believe it or not, there are probably transgendered folk who also quaiify for labelling under various psychological terms, or even the casual use of the word "crazy."

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Melody Moore]

This story is very real & if you are wondering why I have hardly been posting lately, but after this
those of you who are not my Facebook friends will now know why I have been so quite here lately.

I am also very disgusted at some of the ignorant comments here about someone many of you don't know.

Sandra, the person you are actually talking about is a friend of mine called Jessica. Now I
know she would want me to post the link to the article here you are talking about because
she wants her story out there to show the public the level of despair & desperation we go
through. She actually broadcast this attempt at DIY SRS live on Earth Cam so she does
want the whole world to know about her plight.

If anyone wants to see the screen captures of this incident and read her statements feel free to PM
me for a link to the article hosted on my support group domain. But beware the images are graphic
and might disturb some people. I could not function well enough to even respond to this issue for
over 24 hours because of the shock I was in after I got the email & I have cried everyday since then.

I contacted Jessica and spoke to her about the incident and it was at this time she then
released the retraction of her original media statement and a very stern warning to others
not to attempt this. So she realises the gravity of what she has tried to do. But Jessica's
situation is one of sheer despair & desperation, she was approved for SRS 15 years ago!!!

I have seen all the official documentation that proves that Jessica was locked up in an institution at the
age of 5 years of age simply for being transsexual. She has also been given electro-shock treatment in
|a vain attempt to cure her transsexualism. Jessica spent her entire childhood in places like Boystown and
Westbrook Youth Detention Centres. She has been in jail years ago as an adult for armed robbery trying
to raise money for her SRS. I have to admit I have even felt this same level of despair & desperation had
some very crazy thoughts where I considered doing something similar, but mostly I think about just giving
up & committing suicide if I cant get SRS soon. I feel very sick to the stomach every time I go to the toilet,
have a shower and get dressed all because of having mismatched genitalia. So I know how Jessica feels.

The real reason this hits home with me so much is that Jessica was institutionalised in the very same places that
I was constantly threatened with by my parents & the Queensland Police. There was an incident when I was about
14 years old when my gender issues started to get really bad & I was starting to rebel. My parents took me to the
police station in Toowoomba and I was told by a police officer that if I didn't obey my parents then I could be deemed
an uncontrollable child and placed into either the BoysTown or Westbrook Detention centres under the Children's
Services Act 1965 (http://www.legislation.qld.gov.au/LEGISLTN/REPEALED/C/ChildrensServA65_01A_.pdf). I brought this issue up yesterday for the first time with my father & now he is sorry they did this.
He also started crying because he has long since retired & there is nothing he can do now to help me get my SRS.

But Jessica was raped, sexually abused, bashed for many years by inmates as well as staff in these institutions. If you want to
know how bad these places were just do some research on Google, but here are a couple of examples to give you some idea:


SANDRA FRY: Despite its long history as a success story, BoysTown has also come under fire at times for the treatment of its boys. In the 1970s a report criticised the institution for its preoccupation with conformity, its regimentation, the use of corporal punishment and what was described as a 'reluctance' on the part of the staff to deal with the social and emotional needs of the boys.

More recently a number of former residents gave evidence at the 1998 Ford Inquiry into abuse at Queensland institutions. I asked Trevor Carlyon whether he believed such bad publicity could be the reason places like BoysTown aren't deemed appropriate anymore. Read more at: http://www.abc.net.au/pm/stories/s346272.htm
In March 1994, a serious incident which resulted in major damage to its facilities occurred at Westbrook Youth Detention Centre. An investigation was conducted and a report tabled in Parliament on 12 April 1994. The Westbrook Youth Detention Centre was closed on 30 June 1994. Source: http://www.archivessearch.qld.gov.au/search/AgencyDetails.aspx?AgencyId=48 So now I am flying down to Brisbane next week on the 18th until the 23rd to spend time with
Jessica & my Dad because I have a number of meetings & possibly TV News interviews to attend.

Additionally I have also booked a conference room for Friday the 20th to conduct a crisis meetings
with a number of support group leaders, professionals & organisations regarding the mental health
issues that transsexuals experience when not being able to raise funding for SRS. I have established
an action group in my online support network and also have the full support of a Federal politician &
some other very influential people who are totally horrified at what has happened with Jessica.

Jessica is not alone, there are many transsexual women who do self harm, mutilation & commit
suicide all the time because of these issues, but the real reasons why they hurt themselves or
take such desperate action as taking their own lives is never completely understood. But the
risk of this is much higher with a transsexual with a long history of abuse & forced repression.

Due to long term anxiety & depression issues, Jessica and I are both on a Disability Support Pension
which is a welfare support payment we get every fortnight. I was also diagnosed in 1998 as having a
"Personality Disorder with severe anxiety & depression & tendency for self harm or suicide" because
I never come out to mental health staff about my gender issues so they had to guess the cause of it.
Jessica on the other hand was diagnosed with a more specific diagnosis "Transsexualism with severe
anxiety & depression & tendency for self harm or suicide", but I am sure you can see the patterns to
this.

I have appeared strong to most people because that is how I am, but the truth is that the whole time I
been in transition and I have had to deal with some crazy thoughts myself, my friends here in Facebook
already know something about this. However since the change of government here in Queensland a few
weeks ago.a more conservative government now in power. So what is happening is that many transsexuals
who are on welfare payments & live in the state of Queensland are in fear of losing what little support we do
have, but this will become a national issue after the next Federal Election. We also feel like there is no hope
in ever being able to save the money or get funding to complete our transitions. Jessica is in the exact same
boat & has no way to afford surgery. I have saved $2000, but I still have a long way to go before I can afford
surgery, but the situation is now starting to feel very desperate.

The good news is that a post op woman who has a very successful business I talked to tonight wants to start
a foundation to help trans girls like Jessica & myself as well as other low income earners in Australia get enough
money for surgery. She has pledged 10% of her income to this foundation. Trans men also help each other out
this same way. But I now believe after some of the crap I have seen that the MtF Transsexual community is far
too catty and this is why they have never been able to do this. And this is a shame really because everyone here
can do their part to save another Transsexual woman's life.

Kate, the next time you want to run pre-op transsexuals down, maybe you might like to think twice next
time because the truth is your crude comments really do cut deep into my heart like a razor sharp knife.

[pickles]

Wasn't there a 70 year-old retired marine that did this? He'd been hiding it all his life but finally couldn't anymore.

[Kathryn Martin]

I agree with Julia this is quite a tale of desperation.

Let's see, I set up a camera, assemble a scalpell and various other instruments such as clamps, sponges, retractors and the like. I then sit on the kitchen table ensuring that the camera hits the right angle, after administering some sort of anesthetic, maybe a spinal block, I bend forward and cut open the underside of my penis, stem the blood flow which is significant because of my lack of knowledge I have actually pieced the sponge tissue in the penis.......... after waking up from a fainting spell......... my god I cannot believe a person can produce this much blood.... **** I am bleeding to death, where is my ****ing phone....

Really, really!!!!!

I am very sorry people. I asked several medical professionals about this and every single one said that it cannot be done. Any attempt at self mutilation on this scale needs treatment for a serious mental disorder.

This is bullshit and not even worth having a discussion over. SRS is expensive but not that expensive that it could not be earned in 3-5 years let alone 15. If you have difficulty saving this amount then other things are going on that have nothing to do with the need to have SRS. So that is my take. I cannot take this seriously, sorry.

[Melody Moore]

I am very sorry people. I asked several medical professionals about this and every single one said that it cannot be done. Any attempt at self mutilation on this scale needs treatment for a serious mental disorder.
Of course it cannot be done, but still that did not stop Jessica cutting into herself.
And you are wrong to assume that Jessica has a serious mental health disorder.
Police eventually came and took Jessica to hospital & she was assessed by the mental
health and was found to be in a very normal and sound mind. There goes your theory.

[Kerstin]

This is bullshit and not even worth having a discussion over. SRS is expensive but not that expensive that it could not be earned in 3-5 years let alone 15. If you have difficulty saving this amount then other things are going on that have nothing to do with the need to have SRS. So that is my take. I cannot take this seriously, sorry.

Wow, did you even read Melody's post?

This is very sad, I can't imagine the state she must be in right now.

[Melody Moore]

Wow, did you even read Melody's post?

This is very sad, I can't imagine the state she must be in right now.
Sad fact is that people like Kathryn, who I believe is also a lawyer who has the financial means
to pay for SRS cannot appreciate or know what it is like to really have to struggle all your life.

Those who have tried to attack Jessica on Facebook in a similar way have enraged many other
people. It is one of these people who now feels so guilty after realising the gravity of what she
has said who has offered to start the foundation to support transsexuals who cannot afford SRS.

So it is great to see some people like this taking some responsibility for their actions when
they decided to bash someone who is a lot less privileged in life than they have ever been.

[EnglishRose]

Someone I know has personally removed one of their own testes and almost bled to death from it. (she has been in a psych ward for a while after).

People are always capable of trying some things out of sheer desperation and what-have-you.

[Kathryn Martin]

Melody, the sad fact is that you have not the foggiest idea what my life was and is like at all. You presume. Having reached reasonable financial comfort through very hard work is not a curse as you try to make it out but a blessing.

Unfortunately, if what we are being asked to believe is true, this woman tragically did something that was outright insane.

If this woman is a personal friend of yours Melody, maybe you need to take a step back to a less involved more objective viewpoint. I am not bashing anyone. I just find this whole story contains too much drama and too little credibility.


Sad fact is that people like Kathryn, who I believe is also a lawyer who has the financial means
to pay for SRS cannot appreciate or know what it is like to really have to struggle all your life.

Those who have tried to attack Jessica on Facebook in a similar way have enraged many other
people. It is one of these people who now feels so guilty after realising the gravity of what she
has said who has offered to start the foundation to support transsexuals who cannot afford SRS.

So it is great to see some people like this taking some responsibility for their actions when
they decided to bash someone who is a lot less privileged in life than they have ever been.

[Traci Elizabeth]

People do all sorts of interesting things. If it is true it does not surprise me. What does surprise me is the number of people I have talked to that claimed they dont have the money for SRS. Never mind that some of these people werent working, or actually owned a lot of very expensive things. Wonder if it crossed thier mind to sell some of the stuff.

Oh well no big deal to me, its all cool.

Since I know you really care, do you want to contribute to my SRS fund that I am doing exactly what you are saying...selling everything of value to get the total funds for SRS 2012.

I didn't think so (lol).

[Melody Moore]

this woman tragically did something that was outright insane. Really? Duh!

The only thing lacking in credibility here is your lack of knowledge about what this girl's life
has been like and your comments assuming that she has a serious mental health disorder.

What Jessica needs right now is real support which also consists of compassion & empathy for what she is going
through. But what she does not need your type of comments because this approach nearly pushed her over the
edge again yesterday. You have no idea of the despair and desperation this girl is experiencing right now.

Some people really are better off keeping their opinions to themselves in
situations like this because they do far more damage than they do good.

[Sophie_C]

I really don't get this. A person can work at McDonald's for 10 or 15 years and save up for SRS, and not just SRS, but premium SRS. It isn't $100,000. I've seen it as low as $3000. ( baht to dollars conversion (https://www.google.com/search?q=90000+baht+in+dollars&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a#hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US%3Aofficial&sclient=psy-ab&q=90000+baht+in+australian+dollars&oq=90000+baht+in+australian+dollars&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_l=serp.3...23258l24490l4l24951l11l11l3l0l0l0l12 8l691l7j1l8l0.frgbld.&psj=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf.,cf.osb&fp=bb242dc4ab43ba95&biw=1455&bih=933): Site here: http://translate.google.com/translate?sl=auto&tl=en&js=n&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&layout=2&eotf=1&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.doctorjuta.com%2Fsexchange.php ). Not that I'd do that, but it's still a billion times better than a literal self-hack-job. If or when I'll ever do it, I'll save up for a very long time and get the best of the best. But, that's beside the point.

I do feel sympathetic, but please get your friend's mind in order. There's way more to this than transsexualism. She's got tons and tons of serious issues. There were ways to get this done that she blatently ignored. Get that in order first and she'll get much better. It's great you're going out to help her. She needs that right now. Good luck.

[Melody Moore]

Sandra, who posted this thread has a much clearer understanding now of all the dynamics involved that
affected her life & led to her being put on a Disability Support Pension and not able to afford her surgery.

So if anyone has any doubts about the authenticity of this cry for
help, then I am sure that Sandra can now clear that up for you. :)

Thanks Sandra for posting this and anything else you do to help Jessica and others in her predicament. :hugs:

[Felicity71]

Committing armed robbery, to pay for it, makes me less sympathetic

[Bree-asaurus]

Since I know you really care, do you want to contribute to my SRS fund that I am doing exactly what you are saying...selling everything of value to get the total funds for SRS 2012.

I didn't think so (lol).

About to sell all my furniture so I can pay my dad back for an orchi if my car does't sell... SRS... oye... I'm trying to get more clients... I'm trying to get a better job... And I still need to get financially stable so I can start a family.

[Melody Moore]

Committing armed robbery, to pay for it, makes me less sympathetic

I was waiting for this, but do you realise that Jessica's mother rejected her
purely because she was transsexual and put her in an institution from the
age of 5 where she grew up around all sorts of juvenile criminals as role models?

They cut her hair and forced her to wear male clothes, but respective of the fact
she was a transsexual child in a place like this, What sort of example does this set
for any child who has been rejected by their family and abused their whole life?

She also committed that crime a very long time ago, sorry to say this, but some of you really have no clue.

[Felicity71]

No, armed robbery is not justifible, perhaps burglery or prostitution. Armed robbery involves traumatising someone else.

[Bree-asaurus]

No, armed robbery is not justifible, perhaps burglery or prostitution. Armed robbery involves traumatising someone else.

No one ever said it was justifiable. But unless you have lived in her shoes, who are you to say it isn't understandable?

[sandra-leigh]

I've been going through the documents, and they are darn depressing. Just from the section I have managed to get to, I would think it unlikely that anyone living through those experiences would be able to obtain and retain a job for decades afterwards. Any job.

[Melody Moore]

Most genital self-mutilations in nonpsychotic patients are found in transsexuals, and premeditation of sex-conversion surgery is the main objective. In this paper, we will describe the case of a male-to-female transsexual who took out his testes as a way to facilitate the surgery and to circumvent the Brazilian laws. ~ Source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16121084

Some of you should really read these links:

http://www.lauras-playground.com/transsexual_cutting_mutilation.htm

http://unicornbooty.com/blog/2011/06/07/transgender-inmate-denied-sex-change-attempts-self-castration-with-razor/

[AudreyTN]

I'd just like to point out, that there is one way you could possibly give yourself SRS. If you had someone who could give you an epidural, and you had the tools and the know how, you could pull it off, but the quality of the work might be not too sightly or impressive.



I was waiting for this, but do you realise that Jessica's mother rejected her
purely because she was transsexual and put her in an institution from the
age of 5 where she grew up around all sorts of juvenile criminals as role models?

They cut her hair and forced her to wear male clothes, but respective of the fact
she was a transsexual child in a place like this, What sort of example does this set
for any child who has been rejected by their family and abused their whole life?

She also committed that crime a very long time ago, sorry to say this, but some of you really have no clue.

Melody, i'm very very sorry to hear about what your friend has had to endure, but any person who would attempt to give themselves SRS for either attention to show the world what we go through, or out of sheer insanity, has very deep layered mental issues. I do not know your friend, and only have what is posted on here about her by you, and I will not run her down, but no matter how desperate I am to be rid of my penis and have a vagina and breasts and to be physically a woman in appearance, I'm not going to reduce myself to trying to give myself SRS, or holding people at gunpoint while robbing them.

I'm sorry, but I simply see this as excuse making for her behavior because of her situation. I understand she is disabled, and she's been through a lot in those institutions. But I find my penis despicable to look at, I can't even stand to look in the mirror just to brush my teeth or shave and comb my hair. I have days where I just want to cry becaues I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror, and at least 5 of every 7 days, I entertain the thought of just ending it and blowing my head off. But I don't. Because I know one day I will reach my destination. I don't know when or how long I will have to wait, but I will get there.

She may not be able to go do a physical job, but there's tons and tons of people out there who are quadriplegics, blind, deaf or that have other disabilities that find ways to make money from home using their computers.

I was just rejected and disowned by my mother yesterday and told I am not welcome at my parents home when she is there. I was molested by a friend when I was in the 8th grade at the age of 13, and abused for 3 years regularly 3-5 times per week. I have never held anyone at gunpoint and robbed them, I have never tried to mutilate myself, I have tried suicide twice, one attempt failed in 6th grade, and the other attempt was interrupted by a roommate who was paying attention to what was going on with me at the time and crisis was adverted and I went and got help. Vagina or no vagina, I need to learn to be happy with dressing up and being girly and being around my supportive friends and other ts' I hang out with to get me by until such a time I can have my surgery and complete my journey.

with that said, I hope your friend gets in to see a professional who can help her to cope, and that she can either get some financial assistance to get her SRS complete, or she can find a way to put some skills to use to make the necessary money to get it done. I will pray for her, and I wish her the very best going forward.

[emmicd]

i feel for her. so sad. i hear stories of young transgender being bullied and comitting suicide. we live in a world of prejudice and for transgendered individuals not only do they have to deal with their internal struggles but they also have to deal with hatred, misunderstanding, bullying, discrimination and depression. this poor woman just wanted to be free.

[Melody Moore]

I'm sorry, but I simply see this as excuse making for her behavior because of her situation.
With all due respect for what you have been through, you don't understand all of this girl's history &
the many psychological issues involved here, but she does not have any type of psychotic mental illness.

There is a huge difference between being rejected by your parents only yesterday & being rejected
by your parents and placed into an institution when you are only 5 years old & also transsexual. I
was violently abused by my father all my childhood until the age of 16 years old and fought back.
I was also sexually abused between the age of 7 until 11 and raped twice at the ages of 17 & 18.
But that is just a couple of the issues I have had to deal with but I am not out for any pity party.

Sandra will tell you that if I sent you Jessica's documents then you would be horrified at all that she
has been through. It really does make everything we have both been through seem very insignificant.


I've been going through the documents, and they are darn depressing. Just from the section I have managed to get to, I would think it unlikely that anyone living through those experiences would be able to obtain and retain a job for decades afterwards. Any job.

[Jorja]

True or not, this story just chills me to the bone. To think that someone was so deperate to try SRS or self mutilation or whatever it was to this extent is just plain scary. I hope everyone who needs it can find some understanding and someone to listen them when they are at thier wits end.

[ReineD]

I agree, full completion of self-surgery is impossible, but still there are people who would attempt this. The contention in this thread seems to be over not knowing whether Jessica attempted this out of desperation, or she posted this to make a statement. Or both. There's no sense arguing about this because none of us were there.

I don't know that posting such a story will do anything to specifically help Jessica though, other than provide shock value, in the same way that one reads other stories about people who experience tremendous and horrible losses and injustices.

The plight of transsexuals who cannot find ways to transition for either economical or psychological reasons and who live lives of degradation: the depression, the drug and alcohol use, the prostitution, the suicide attempts, do find their way to the news to contribute to the growing awareness of the difficulties that face transsexuals, which then contributes to ensuing political and health care changes in our society. There is even a big difference in societal awareness from just a generation ago and I've no doubt the awareness and change will continue to grow.

So please people, let's stop judging Jessica and arguing about her motives and instead send positive thoughts her way, and also focus on doing your bit, however small, to make things better for everyone.

[Kathryn Martin]

The plight of transsexuals who cannot find ways to transition for either economical or psychological reasons and who live lives of degradation: the depression, the drug and alcohol use, the prostitution, the suicide attempts, do find their way to the news to contribute to the growing awareness of the difficulties that face transsexuals, which then contributes to ensuing political and health care changes in our society. There is even a big difference in societal awareness from just a generation ago and I've no doubt the awareness and change will continue to grow.

So please people, let's stop judging Jessica and arguing about her motives and instead send positive thoughts her way, and also focus on doing your bit, however small, to make things better for everyone.[emphasis added]

Reine, I am not so sure that anyone judged Jessica. This is what is assumed when you don't fall into the chorus of those that find in this another tragic horrible attack on transsexuals driving them into acts of desperation. It is not only the tragic, the suicide victims, the self cutters, and those driven into prostitution that raise the profile of the plight of the all of us.

Most often it is those that work really hard to not become another trans statistic but to overcome the odds and the obstacles to succeed as transsexuals in a society that struggles with acceptance of who we are. I am one. I represent transsexuals in the governing body of my profession Province wide, I preside over the regional body of my profession, I represent clients in all matters related to litigation and work pro bono for charitable organizations. I also represent transsexual clients in human rights matters, family law matters and help with paperwork etc. I represent us with every step I take every day. I talk about the statistics, I point to the unfairness of our laws and governmental policies I sue the government when necessary. I know, because I am in contact with many others who successfully work in important positions that they are working daily to improve our plight.

Quite frankly I am tired of being looked down upon because I am successful in spite of being transsexual.

Dwelling on the unfortunate and sensationalist actions of this tragic human being brings exactly the wrong kind of message to the public.

[Melody Moore]

Quite frankly I am tired of being looked down upon because I am successful in spite of being transsexual.
Quite frankly I am tired of the tall poppies & prima donnas in the trans community who
fail to appreciate the struggles that others have been through and are STILL going through.

There is a vast difference in the outcomes in a transsexual's life that can be directly
attributed to how loved & supported they were by their families throughout their
childhoods. Sadly some of US have been rejected by our families at a very young age.

Unless you have been through it yourself, you cannot even begin to appreciate
what it is like to grow up as the blacksheep or the social outcast in your family.

We can only do as well as the examples that are set down by our families & carers,
and if you have grown up in a very dysfunctional family or an institution, then these
are the elements that are going to influence you & affect your abilities to cope with life.

If you throw a transsexual child into a Youth Detention Centre with all the wannabe
gangsters & criminals, what type of impact and example will this set to the child?
Surrounded by these wannabes blowing their horns about the next armed robbery
or burglary they are going to commit can have a profound influence over the life of
someone who is so young & impressionable. Growing up in these places often leads
to a life of crime and misery and I am surprised that Jessica hasn't killed herself yet.

I am crying every single day lately & I am right on the edge of
suicide at the moment, but some of you obviously don't care. :(

[ReineD]

Most often it is those that work really hard to not become another trans statistic but to overcome the odds and the obstacles to succeed as transsexuals in a society that struggles with acceptance of who we are. I am one.

But you do have some advantages: you worked hard and got an education, established a successful career, have a loving wife and family. I don't know you well and I've no doubt you've suffered some losses too but you choose to not dwell on them and instead you are grateful for the positives in your life. But some TSs don't have your background, educational, and other advantages. I'm not trying to put anyone down, just saying that some people cope better than others, some people find themselves in better circumstances than others. And some people find themselves in horrible lifestyles without having acquired the life skills to get out of them.

And this is true of anyone, really, not just TSs.



Dwelling on the unfortunate and sensationalist actions of this tragic human being brings exactly the wrong kind of message to the public.

This is true. But, people in general have a morbid fascination with the lurid, no matter the arena. The media preys on this.



Quite frankly I am tired of being looked down upon because I am successful in spite of being transsexual.

I don't think that anyone in the TS community looks down on the successful TSs, in fact I think that people admire them and aspire to achieve the same success, which is to lead a happy and contented life. And I praise the TSs who emerge from the transition process to lead fulfilling public lives, such as Amanda Simpson (http://www.therightperspective.org/2010/01/01/obama-makes-first-transgender-appointment/). I'm sure everyone admires her.

But at the same time, people have the very human tendency to be fascinated with shocking stories, especially in a community where many members feel frustrated over non-accepting spouses, bosses, families, etc, and even I dare say some feel a degree of bitterness over a perception their physiognomy is more masculine than others', and feel stuck in this. Or they feel stuck because they don't have the money for FFS & SRS. A story such as Jessica's serves as a vehicle to vent all kinds of general outrage and anger.

I do agree with you though, that it is best to send Jessica positive thoughts and not dwell too much on the injustices that befall many TSs, and instead try to move forward with individual lives.



I am crying every single day lately & I am right on the edge of
suicide at the moment, but some of you obviously don't care. :(

Well, I care. :hugs:

Is there someone you can talk to about this? Some way that you can see yourself moving out of it somehow?

[sandra-leigh]

So please people, let's stop judging Jessica and arguing about her motives and instead send positive thoughts her way, and also focus on doing your bit, however small, to make things better for everyone.

Yes, I think you are right. We are going to need more time and perspective for any analysis; in the meantime we need to help everyone get through this trying time.

[Persephone]

But Jessica's
situation is one of sheer despair & desperation, she was approved for SRS 15 years ago!!!

Melody,

I most certainly feel Jessica's plight, although, like many others, I certainly do not condone armed robbery, regardless of when she did it. This is clearly a woman with a great many problems, most of which will not be treated nor "cured" by SRS.

But something here puzzles me. I thought that y'all in Australia had the holy grail - national health care - that is supposed to provide "free" comprehensive medical care. How was she approved 15 years ago and still didn't get her surgery?

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Melody Moore]

Persephone,

I disagree, I am confident that our situation will improve through SRS, because then we don't have to live
with this disgusting "thing" between our legs that provides no other purpose but to go to the toilet and to
wear down our self-esteem and make us feel horrible. Jessica has been driven to doing desperate things to
rectify her problems and she would NOT have committed an armed robbery had she been complete. It is not
just a cosmetic issue we are talking about - this is something that really affects my emotions & the way that
I feel about myself.

We get some services in Australia for free but they are not officially sanctioned by our governments, we have
Sexual Health Services here bending the rules to provide therapy and HRT, but there is no support here for SRS.

You can however get SRS with one of our two local butchers if you can afford the
very high premiums for private health insurance, but you still going to need $10,000
to cover the be out of pocket costs of surgery that are not covered by insurance.

But we can fly to Thailand and get surgery from a much better surgeon for that same
amount of money. But you try saving for this surgery or paying for private medical cover
when you rely on a welfare payment as your main source of income. I can guarantee that
the tall poppies & prima donnas in the trans community would be crying if they were in my
boat. None here holds any valid opinion situation unless you have walked a mile or two in
our shoes. A little empathy & support can make the world of difference to our lives.

So thanks Sandra, you have a heart of gold - its nice to know who my real friends are. :hugs:

[Danielle.N]

I don't think that anyone in the TS community looks down on the successful TSs, in fact I think that people admire them and aspire to achieve the same success, which is to lead a happy and contented life.


I'm not sure that "looked down upon" is the proper term, but I have had animosity directed at me because, on the surface my transition situation seems ideal. There's been at least one in every group I'm associated with who will have some smartas* remark to make when I tell about something positive thats happened. It's quite true to say that the only rejections I've faced are, ironically enough, from other TGs...as though my friendship is neither welcome nor desired because I cannot appreciate their pain and struggle. Oh well.

[ReineD]

I'm not sure that "looked down upon" is the proper term, but I have had animosity directed at me because, on the surface my transition situation seems ideal. There's been at least one in every group I'm associated with who will have some smartas* remark to make when I tell about something positive thats happened.

Sadly, I think this happens in all walks of life. There will always be people who are bitter or jealous: the young attorney who gets passed up for the promotion towards the peer who gets it, the young GG towards another more beautiful GG who gets all the guys, etc.

But these are the few. Do you think that most TSs are jealous when someone has an easier time with it, or do you think most people are happy for her?

[Melody Moore]

I'm not sure that "looked down upon" is the proper term, but I have had animosity directed at me because, on the surface my transition situation seems ideal.
What do you think brought be down? It started with this same very thing, I was living fulltime as a female
and had no issues, others were envious of that, but I am not without my problems and it didn't take long
before others brought me down to their level. But I am in no way jealous of anyone else's success, I would
however appreciate some type of understanding for those who are struggling, even if I wasn't there myself.

[Babeba]

Melody, you just got done saying that we can't understand what a pre-op TS who is struggling has gone through. How can we then properly sympathize? Obviously what seems like a very sad case to me affects you far greater, as you took the steps to fly there and participate in news conferences you have set up and paid for space with; presumably out of savings, presumably which you had put towards your own surgery.

I feel very badly for you and Jessica for the shitty lives you have had. I don't know how your welfare system works, but ours allows a small amount of supplemental income to be made (about $200 a month, I've heard.) if you were able to utilize that, live on the payment from welfare (tough, I know) and save the rest? Direct deposit it into a savings account? $200/month means just over 4 years for that much money.

I know the problems I've had in my life are what you would probably dismiss as small fry, but I have ALWAYS found that if I can add to my own solutions (even a little) rather than my own problems, it helps considerably with my mental state.

[kellycan27]

I'm not sure that "looked down upon" is the proper term, but I have had animosity directed at me because, on the surface my transition situation seems ideal. There's been at least one in every group I'm associated with who will have some smartas* remark to make when I tell about something positive thats happened. It's quite true to say that the only rejections I've faced are, ironically enough, from other TGs...as though my friendship is neither welcome nor desired because I cannot appreciate their pain and struggle. Oh well.

:thumbsup: What she said!

kel

[Sharon]

I can't believe we are having this pissing contest. Why do we bemoan those who don't have to struggle quite as much as another person does? Hey people, we have all struggled one way or another, just for being who we are! I wish I had the finances to achieve all my goals -- yesterday! -- but I'm holding onto the faith that all my dreams will come to fruition one day soon as long as I keep working for them and I manage to not yield to the depression that relentlessly hovers nearby. To be honest, I'm happy that not everyone has to struggle quite as much.

We all feel pity for Jessica because she felt that self-mutilating (yes, self-mutilating) herself was her only recourse. But I will not celebrate her nor raise her on a pedestal -- the girl needs serious psychological help.

[AudreyTN]

I don't know that posting such a story will do anything to specifically help Jessica though, other than provide shock value, in the same way that one reads other stories about people who experience tremendous and horrible losses and injustices.

I can only see this as damaging to the TS community as this gives the impression to the general public that we are all mentally ****ed up in the head and should be locked away in a mental institution.

Actions like this, regardless if they were deliberately done to bring awareness or in a panic induced state of mind, are the exact attention the TS community does not need.

these kinds of acts, give nut cases like the guy mentioned in this article below the fuel to suggest that think we should have to be made to mandatorily register as Transsexuals and be put on a list, just like the Jews had to do in Nazi Germany during pre-WW2 and during WW2.

http://www.bilerico.com/2011/12/the_motivation_behind_the_transsexual_registration .php




Quite frankly I am tired of the tall poppies & prima donnas in the trans community who
fail to appreciate the struggles that others have been through and are STILL going through.

There is a vast difference in the outcomes in a transsexual's life that can be directly
attributed to how loved & supported they were by their families throughout their
childhoods. Sadly some of US have been rejected by our families at a very young age.

Unless you have been through it yourself, you cannot even begin to appreciate
what it is like to grow up as the blacksheep or the social outcast in your family.

We can only do as well as the examples that are set down by our families & carers,
and if you have grown up in a very dysfunctional family or an institution, then these
are the elements that are going to influence you & affect your abilities to cope with life.

If you throw a transsexual child into a Youth Detention Centre with all the wannabe
gangsters & criminals, what type of impact and example will this set to the child?
Surrounded by these wannabes blowing their horns about the next armed robbery
or burglary they are going to commit can have a profound influence over the life of
someone who is so young & impressionable. Growing up in these places often leads
to a life of crime and misery and I am surprised that Jessica hasn't killed herself yet.

I am crying every single day lately & I am right on the edge of
suicide at the moment, but some of you obviously don't care. :(

With all due respect for what you have been through, you don't understand all of this girl's history & the many psychological issues involved here, but she does not have any type of psychotic mental illness.

There is a huge difference between being rejected by your parents only yesterday & being rejected by your parents and placed into an institution when you are only 5 years old & also transsexual.

I was violently abused by my father all my childhood until the age of 16 years old and fought back.

I was also sexually abused between the age of 7 until 11 and raped twice at the ages of 17 & 18.

But that is just a couple of the issues I have had to deal with but I am not out for any pity party.

Sandra will tell you that if I sent you Jessica's documents then you would be horrified at all that she has been through. It really does make everything we have both been through seem very insignificant.

I'm not going to have a comparison battle over who has had a worse life. we all have our struggles, our hardships, and some of us have endured some pretty ****ed up shit, and I've been through some crazy crap in my life, things that drove me to brink of insanity, i've been the black sheep of my family, the social outcast everywhere I have gone and everywhere I have been, school, work, even fun social gatherings im the outcast. I talk to a girl, she runs the other way. I haven't had a girlfriend in 2 years. I couldn't buy a date right now if I wanted to, if my life depended on it. I'm so ****ing lonely, and depressed, all I want is someone to hang out with and go do things and cuddle up next to and be held, instead I have to go bed alone every night, but even in my darkest moments, when I think I'm losing or have lost my mind, I don't resort to criminal acts or self-mutilation, and it's just about every single day I contemplate placing the barrel of my handgun into my mouth and letting 165 grains of hollow point lead put me out of my misery, but I don't because it won't solve anything.

No judge would allow Jessica's actions as an excuse, and society as a whole doesn't allow that as an excuse. Jessica makes decisions, just like you and I, and we are all responsible for our actions, and we will be held accountable for them. A bad life, a bad year a bad week, a bad day is no excuse for bad behavior or choices. The only exceptions to that are the mentally disabled who can not function without assistance, can't speak, read, write or differentiate right from wrong.

But I really do hope Jessica gets the help she needs both psychologically and financially. I really feel for her, because I'm going through a rough time myself right now. School and homework have me stressed, not being able to get a date, wanting to get started with my therapy, and ready for graduation from college to be here, but still a year off, feels like I'm heading towards going off the deep end sometimes, but I am in control of me. This baggage is making it rough on me right now, but I'm not going to let it control me. I am not trying to bemoan her, or say she is lesser of a person, but she isn't the only one to go through this, or be in her situation. Best thing we can do for now is pray for her, and wish her well, and those who are close to her are hopefully being supoortive, and lending an ear or shoulder for her to help get her through this.

I'm sorry you've been near suicide Melody, if there's anything I can do let me know, even if it's just talking on the phone, I would be glad to listen, and it'd be good for me too, with all I have been dealing with.




I can't believe we are having this pissing contest. Why do we bemoan those who don't have to struggle quite as much as another person does? Hey people, we have all struggled one way or another, just for being who we are! I wish I had the finances to achieve all my goals -- yesterday! -- but I'm holding onto the faith that all my dreams will come to fruition one day soon as long as I keep working for them and I manage to not yield to the depression that relentlessly hovers nearby. To be honest, I'm happy that not everyone has to struggle quite as much.

We all feel pity for Jessica because she felt that self-mutilating (yes, self-mutilating) herself was her only recourse. But I will not celebrate her nor raise her on a pedestal -- the girl needs serious psychological help.

I completely agree with your post Sharon in every aspect.:thumbsup:

[StacieJayne]

My god, after reading this, I feel extremely depressed. I hate to look at myself in the mirror, knowing that what I see, is not what I want to see, but I know I could never resort to trying SRS myself. Unfortunately, I am on state benefits, so getting funding for myself will be unlikely and I really am worrying about that :( My thoughts and love go out to Jessica, ( I have a daughter with the same name :) ) and I do hope that she recovers quickly and gets all the help and understanding she deserves.

[Zoiq]

I'm sitting here shaking my head...

I know trans people locally both through a local support group, and other means.
And here's the only point that matters... Life is what YOU MAKE IT !

Glass half full wins over glass half empty every single day, and its because of the attitude that goes with it, not how full or empty the glass actually is.
If you dont pass as well as you want to, then put more effort into it. SIMPLE AS THAT, and it doesnt need to cost a penny.
What ever you want, put the effort in and get it. Your the one who wants it, so your the one who needs to put in the effort to get it.

I honestly think its across all society, that some people, regardless of race gender culture or back ground, just expect everything they want to be easily obtainable with little or no effort.

Once again... Life is what YOU MAKE IT ! and YOUR the one who has to make it happen.

[Melody Moore]

After what I have seen here in reply to this topic I don't think I will be visiting & posting on this forum
very much in the future. Some of the replies I have read here are far more depressing to me than what
has happened to Jessica. I emphasise 100% with Jess, because I DO KNOW HER PAIN very well & until
you have walked a mile in her shoes, you can't begin to appreciate the level of pain involved here.

Dont assume that because you can deal with things OK that other people can. Approximately 40% of
Trans people attempt suicide and many do succeed, those that fail have other complications like I did
when I took an overdose twice on a medication that sent me into cardiac arrest and I died twice where
I had to be brought back with defibrillation. Now when I get stressed I start have palpitations & have
to go to hospital for ECG and monitoring and some of the replies here I find very disturbing, so I hope
you are extremely proud for how bad you make some of us feel.

Jess and I are very close friends so much so that I speak to her a couple of times a day now and I am
flying down to Brisbane next week to stay with her and her family for a week. Jess was also interviewed
on Brisbane radio station 4ZZZFM today about these types issues and has done a lot more than any of
you have done to bring awareness to a need in our country for SRS to be funded under public health for
those who are disadvantaged & on welfare payments such as Disability Pension because of their issues.

Another reason why I am going to Brisbane is because a number of television stations are interested in this
and I have a community consultation meeting with the community and some officials at the end of next week
because a national current affairs program ACA (Australian Current Affair) is also very interested in this story.
So I want to discuss these issues with these people to gather their feedback and to find out who is interested
in appearing on the program after establishing our agenda with how we want this presented. I have the support
of many very powerful people on this issue, including the director of Mental Health Services in my state capital.

So when Jess & I bring about reform to our health system, you can all kiss our sweet little bootys. Good Day!

PS: If you want our autographed photo after that, the cost will be $100 each, payable via Paypal. :heehee:

[Nigella]

Welcome to a reality check Melody, you should know that we are not as one on each and every subject on this forum, that is life. You have taken this personally because you have a "vested interest". Maybe you will now understand how some of the members on this forum have felt when you have put your :2c: in.

[StacieJayne]

I think what you and Jessica are doing in showing people that you are not strange, maybe just a little different, is very commendable :) I feel that if more people like yourselves, did what you are doing in educating people, then the world would be a much happier and safe place. As I said in my previous post, I sincerely hope that Jessica is getting the help and support She obviously deserves and as Nigella states, everybody on here are not the same and some have very different views indeed. That being said I think some people should have a bit more respect and understanding, especially where self harm or suicidal tendencies are involved. I understand that Jessica was only trying to do what She really wanted done and that maybe her head got a bit far removed from the reality of things, but even if She was as mad as a hatter, and I am not saying that She is, people should not berate others over something as sensitive as this. To be honest, if people on this forum are inclined to be that way, it is up to the moderators to be more forceful and eject them from the site. I know that I am probably starting a sh*t storm by say this and yes I don't know what has been said in the past, BUT, it is wrong to slate someone who is supporting another, who is going through trying times. Emotions are bound to run high and things get said that might not be meant in the heat of the moment. Anyway enough ranting from me. Keep up the good work Melody and let the others go to hell.

[Felicity71]

With the austalian doctors a good portion of srs surgery is rebatable so its cheaper than what she states. With a good plan and doing easy unskilled labour she would have saved enough easily. I call bs on this.

[Felicity71]

Oh and melody, you really are a drama queen lol

[Melody Moore]

With the austalian doctors a good portion of srs surgery is rebatable so its cheaper than what she states. With a good plan and doing easy unskilled labour she would have saved enough easily. I call bs on this.
WTF? How dare you start with the personal attacks?

The only thing here that is BS is what you understand about the situation here.


1. There is only one doctor in Australia and on international standards, he is considered very average at best.

2. This doctor charges $30,000 for SRS and to get any sort of rebate you have to be able to afford very
costly private health cover and that is very difficult to do when you are on DISABILITY welfare payments.

3. You still need about $10,000 to cover the out-of-pocket expenses are going to be after the rebates.

4. I have been saving for 20 months now and I have saved $2,000 and that is an an average of $100 p/month.

5. At this rate it will take 10 years to save enough money to pay for a sub-standard Sex Reassignment Surgery.
By the time I have enough money to go to Thailand I will be over 62 years and could possibily be unfit for SRS,
IF I live that long and don't take my own life before then. If I do that, there is never any cry for help from me.

You overlook the fact that I have a long term history of Anxiety and depression all my life that has been at it's
worst for the past 15 years. I have tried many times to get part time work and also have my own business that
I work part time with. But when I earn money this I don't get paid my DSP, so that is another catch 22 situation.

I can earn up to $132 p/fortnight without it affecting my pension, but I get about an average of $100 per month
from the work that I do with my business which I am saving. The DSP is used only to pay for my living expenses.
I hardly ever go out and when I do it is to LGBTIQ events where I make my $100 per month by taking photos for
two LGBTIQ magazines. The organisation that puts these events on pays me covers my personal expenses for the
one night each month that I go out. I don't have much of a social life because I cannot afford it.

Until you have walked a mile in Jess & my shoes your opinion means diddly squat f*ck all (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=diddly-squat&page=5) really.

Fortunately some people in my local LGBTIQ community have started to fund raise for me. A local
drag queen is going to also start fun raising at their shows in July, because these people know me
and also know what voluntary work I do for my local LGBTIQ community. Here is the latest example
of my work to prove to you that I don't just sit around on my butt: Out! Cairns Fluoro Euro Party (https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.373326986044711.89859.146799772030768&type=1).

And also see my business site (http://www.melodystouch.com/) to see what I am really capable of when I am not feeling so crappy
and I can get the work. Bear in mind as well when I earn decent money I have to also live off it then
because I don't get paid my disability payments. So that is another catch 22 I have to also deal with.

[Danielle.N]

Until you have walked a mile in Jess & my shoes your opinion means diddly squat f*ck all really.


You've said this so many times in this thread...why keep responding if no opinion matters anyway?

[Melody Moore]

You've said this so many times in this thread...why keep responding if no opinion matters anyway?
Because I am pissed off at these types of arrogant comments - I thought this was a community
that was meant to be supportive and understanding, evidently not. MtF trans women are far too
catty with each other to be able to come together and work for reform. So now I just want my
SRS more than ever and to walk away from the trans community forever & to get on with my life.

Fortunately I have formed an action group that is meeting next weekend in Brisbane to discuss
a national media campaign and this would not be happening if it was not for me & Jessica. You
will hear about us very soon quite a lot in the media, so if any of you think this is all BS, then I
suggest that you all just wait and see what happens in the very near future, that is all I will say.

[Sharon]

It's time for me to dig out my admin hat again. :sigh:

The topic -- "self SRS" -- is a worthwhile discussion deserving of the strong reactions it has garnered from several points of view. All I ask is for members to realize that there ARE differing opinions and not to get personal when disagreeing with another member.

Now, can I please not have to pull that ugly hat out again?:doh:

[Felicity71]

I dont need to walk a mile in her shoes to know bs when I hear it. If your stuck on a disability pension because of your self harm then "WAHHH" Ive worked and saved all my life on a shitty job, and lived without relationships or friends, but ive saved enough to own my own home and have lots of savings.

[sandra-leigh]

If I had know that the discussion was going to get into personal arguments, I would not have started this thread. :sad:

I have asked for this thread to be closed. Perhaps that will provide some breathing space for everyone.

If there are aspects that have arisen here that you think should be further discussed in public, then please start a new thread.

[Kathryn Martin]

I find it strange that we are now in this race to the bottom. If we cannot voice views and opinions until we have walked in everyone's shoes then really all conversation becomes moot.

My sense is that either the self mutilation is a put on to make a point or it is the act of someone who is walking past the edge of sanity.

I don't think that supporting virtually every act a trans-person commits just because they are trans and have had a miserable life is an acceptable solution in life or a discussion board. Given trans statistics essentially half of us have gone past the edge of life (like I did when I was 19) but survived, and all the others that have teetered on the edge of life for many years. And finally those that walked across the edge and did not make it back. Most of them we don't even know about.

If we as a community condone this kind of behavior we undermine ourselves and the things we have to achieve. While I understand Melody's anger over an almost unresolvable situation. I don't understand how it translates into finding others who have no understanding for the kind of behavior Jessica displayed, to be arrogant, prima donnas and tall poppies (I don't even know what that means but italicized appears as meant as an insult).

Don't get me wrong I can understand how someone can get to the place Jessica got to, but I also understand that it is a pathological process that brings you to self mutilate.

And I do not believe carrying this particular flag is the right thing to do to help her.

[Sharon]

The creator of this thread has asked for it to be closed and everything has pretty much been said so I am honoring her request.