Girlfriend status update and possibly some rambling.

[Julie1123]

Quick backstory. Recently started dressing, when I discovered I liked it I told my girlfriend of eight years about it. She was not happy about it, didn't want anything to do with it, but as long as I kept it out of sight she wouldn't care. We had a standing agreement that if feelings changed in regards to it, who ever had the change would broach the subject so we could discuss it rather than it becoming an issue. She said she would probably never bring it up.

She brought up crossdressing the other day. We were watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. I can't remember what she said exactly, I was tired and it caught me off guard that she was bringing it up, but she basically made the comment that she always had it in her mind that she would marry someone like Adam from the movie and that's why the crossdressing was hard to, and this is where my memory gets blurry, accept/get used to/something along those lines. For those who haven't seen the movie, Adam is a rugged backwoods type who sings in a deep voice but is a bit on the chauvinistic side. I asked her to clarify what parts of his character she was drawn to. She said his stubbornness, bullheaded attitude, his strength. So I asked her if she saw that stuff in me and that's why we started dating, she said yes. I mentioned that I was still those things, granted a bit out of shape these days which I'm working on fixing. It was a nice peaceful exchange. I wanted to talk more but thought it best to just let the conversation end there.

Later that night when we were reading in bed I told her that I really appreciated what she does by letting me dress. That I understood it must be hard for her. She smiled and said that she doesn't do all that much and that she loves me very much.

[Renee W]

Just hang in there. I have a supportive SO who found out about my dresing after 18 years together. At first she was shocked, but she read up on the subject and realized that what I did was not all that uncommon. She loves me enough to let me be me, just as long as she still gets to have the husband she married most of the time.

[MandyGG]

OOOOHHHH! I am so proud of you two that I could go squeeze y'all's cheeks off!!!!! Good for her for addressing her concern, making a connection, and showing her genuine love for you no matter what! I am proud of you for keeping a clear and calm head, not avoiding her concerns, and explaining things the way she needed them explained! Yay!

[kimdl93]

glad to hear that she's working with you. I have to wonder why anyone would want a rugged, backwoods type who inexplicably breaks into song occassionally. Maybe you should show her the Monty Python Lumberjack skit!

[Julie1123]

Maybe you should show her the Monty Python Lumberjack skit!

She's a big Monty Python fan, knows that skit well. I thought about making a joke about it but decided not to.

[Babeba]

Awe! :) I'm glad you two had that talk, and I hope that your GF can see all sides of you through the dressing and your other personality aspects.

I know where she is coming from, Crystal's male presentation is definitely a rugged, mountain living man... Which I appreciate very much. :) I'm glad about it, because I am a very outdoorsy kind of person as well!

I hope that you can have more conversations in the future, to help her understand why you do this and that you still have all the facets of yourself that she fell in love with, that none of that was a lie.

[Alice B]

The foundation you have established is open and honest. The major key to sucess. As time goes by she will become more accepting. As long as you don't shove it in her face. Over the past 6 years there has been major strides in acceptance from my wife and it only gets better.

[Cynthia Anne]

Those little steps can be sweet! Just no rushing, give her space and take one day at a time! Hugs!

[PretzelGirl]

That sounds like a great foundation the two of you are building. Very nice! I think you already see the dividends of honesty and caring. I think that this will be a great relationship for the two of you with that approach.

[ReineD]

but she basically made the comment that she always had it in her mind that she would marry someone like Adam from the movie and that's why the crossdressing was hard to accept/get used to/something along those lines. For those who haven't seen the movie, Adam is a rugged backwoods type who sings in a deep voice but is a bit on the chauvinistic side.

Translation: "I'm afraid that eventually you'll want to be a woman full time and maybe want to have sex with men and there won't be any of your guy-self left who will love me."

She doesn't really understand what this is all about and she needed reassurance, which you provided admirably well. Just be sure and keep the communication channels open. Keep asking how she feels about it if you can. :)

[Julie1123]

Thanks for all of the comments ladies.

[Sara Jessica]

Translation #2 (borrowing the theme from Reine)...

Whether we like it or not, women grow up with an ideal of their perfect mate. It starts out a lot like a Disney prince, then moving on to the pop celebrities of the day (your Justin Bieber types, not exactly the epitome of the rugged mountain man). But what often ends up developing is an attraction towards what we might call a typical male type. Makes perfect sense in this gender binary world of ours. And this is what your GF is confessing to you, that it's taking a lot of effort on her part to get her head around your crossdressing. The good news is that you both seem to be communicating and that she retains an open mind. She sounds like she'll never be a participant in this, but if your relationship is able to be sustainable over a lifetime, the foundation you have built will be very important.