How has coming out changed you?

[April Lyn]

A question for you who have come out to someone close to you, how has it changed you? for myself, having had these feelings for all of my life, or at least all of my life that I can remember, I have kept these feelings walled up inside and just dealt with it internally and alone. Since coming out to my wife about three weeks ago and pulling the cork out of the bottle as it were, it has been as though all 37 years worth of emotions have been hitting me at once. It hasnt been a bad thing, in fact It has made me quite a bit happier, especially finding you all here and knowing that im not in this alone, I feel so much more comfortable with myself and who I am. So, I was just wondering if any of you have had a similar experience when you finally told someone too?
-April :o

[Kristyn Hill]

Exactly the same feelings as you have described. I came out to my wife about 6 weeks ago and I feel like I can be myself a little easier now in front of everyone. Since not surpressed any longer, I think about what others would think if they knew when hanging out with my best friend and others. Pretty liberating to know I can accept myself for whom I was born. Welcome, April.

P.S. my wife accpets me for who I am which is a great relief.

[Barbara Ella]

I came out 4 months ago, after only 3 months of crossdressing. Initially it was wonderful and we were so happy, and i could dress whenever. This really did not sit completely well, and something was wrong with it, as it bothered her more than she thought it would. Now I cannot dress in front of her, and we dont talk about it. So I really am just barely ahead of where I was 7 months ago, but she does know, and says she supports me and wants me to find myself. I have returned to a much less comfortable situation.

Barbara

[April Lyn]

Thank you Kristyn for your warm welcome, I can't tell you how good it has been to be here with you all and feel truly accepted for who I am. My wife is also very accepting of me, though I have been trying to go as slow as I can (Hasnt been easy with everything coming out so fast though) to keep things comfortable for her as well. Maybe material for another post, but I have also tried to learn as much as I can about CDing and TG issues not just as it affects me and my life, but also from the perspective of the SO as well, it has been very helpful to see all the posts from the SOs on this forum to help me with that. I hope soon to be able to get my wife on here as well.
- April

[Eryn]

Coming out has had a definite positive effect on my life, primarily with my relationship with my wife. The secret created a barrier between us that was getting wider and wider. Without that barrier, we are closer than we ever were before. I'm also a calmer, happier person.

[Kristyn Hill]

Barbara and April, I am also taking it slow with my wife. She is accepting but after getting some responses from other ladies in a couple of my post, I decided to take it a lot slower. I am easing into it. April, I am with you on the SO comments and big time from other girls who said...pump the breaks a bit.

[April Lyn]

Barbara, thats too bad that your wife is uncomfortable with your dressing, my wife is also at a point where she accepts me for who I am, though is uncomfortable with actually seeing me dressed right now. Perhaps that will change someday, but for now I am happy to have her acceptance and love. I do have one question for you and for any of the other people who have started dressing later in life, is it that you always had the feelings to do so but never knew what the feeling was or acted on it, or did the feeling just hit you later in life and was not there earlier?
- April

[sissystephanie]

I came out to my late wife back in 1955 when I proposed to her!!The feeling I had after telling her was a very great relief! Especially when she told me that she accepted me "as is" and would help me crossdress in whatever way she could!! What more could one ask? BTW, she always did my makeup and fixed my wig so I could really be Stephanie!

[Jenniferathome]

20+ years of marriage in the closet. A little more than a year ago I came out and both my wife and I have never been happier. A stress that was sitting squarely on my shoulders is gone and now I am secret-less and better for it.

[kimdl93]

Like Stephanie, I came out while my wife and I were dating so there was no question of hiding who or what I was. Ive in recent years become more open with my dressing beyond the confines of our home and with some neighbors and friends. I find that as I come out I am more at peace with myself and happier.

[Sandra1746]

After I came out to my wife, about a year ago now, she went through periods of acceptance and denial. I suppose that's normal, I had kept the CD hidden pretty well for a long time. Now things are relatively stable. Having her read, and join, the forum helped a lot. Her biggest worry was that I was gay, a friend of hers discovered that secret about her husband and the result wasn't pretty. The forum really helped there.

I can dress around home mostly as I want and I can go out in "androgynous" attire without any real comment. She did give me a "funny look" as I set off on Monday wearing a pair of fem shorts and a purple camo pattern yoga top for a drive to our cabin. It was hot here in MD and I wanted something cool to wear. Except for a stop for gas nobody else saw that getup...LOL.

Hugs,
Sandra1746

[Marguarite]

April, Welcome. Coming out to wife has definitely improved our relationship, mainly because it has improved our communication. it has made me less cautious to say things, not having to worry about letting something slip; I have also found myself taking better care of myself. I like the pampering that GG's do for themselves. My wife recently handed me down a sugar scrub that she didn't like , but i found heavenly.
Also, I just got back from a trade show, and realized i spent most of the day admiring what the GG's were wearing, and discovered i'm becoming a real shoe hound. I saw several pairs I'd like to find.

[Kerigirl2009]

It is a feeling of OMG that was not that bad followed by why didnt I just do this earlier, It makes it sooooo much nicer when you can talk to someone and you know ask advice and just have a conversation about something that basically scares the hell out of mist of us about what can happen and kick around questions of how come and why do I enjoy being a feminine individual. Really makes me a happier person to be around too.

[April Lyn]

One of the first things that my wife said to me, a couple of days later, is that I seem so much happier, and I truly am. I am so thankful to her and to you all for being there to listen and for all of your kind replies to my posts. What a great group we have here.

[Miranda09]

It makes me feel less isolated when I can have someone to share this side of me with...tho I'm still a bit shy about it. But the 2 people I have opened up to have been very supportive. :)

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

i came out to my wife of 27 yrs last june. what was once a happy storybook marriage is now a shell of a marriage.
i felt if i didn't tell my wife about my crossdressing i would have a nervous breakdown, so i told her and instead
she had the nervous breakdown. i have totally destroyed my wife, she was once happy,optimistic and silly(in a
positive way) she now is a shell of that person and what advantages i gained by coming out are not worth
the hurt and anguish i have caused her. its nice to see happy story's like most of the girls posted but remember
for some people their is a negative flip side.

[Barbara Ella]

April. Slow is always better. i am resolved to go slow, but miss the short period of acceptance. I do anticipate over time getting back to that position. We do love each other. It is just difficult and confusing right now.

As per your question. I started at 65, right out of the blue after an affair with my Mom's bra at 8 years of age. Go figure. Something had to be there, but I guess I was so male programmed that dressing never entered the picture until now. Guess I am just lucky to have found it at all. I would not change it for anything.

Barbara

[PretzelGirl]

I didn't need to come out to my wife as she knew all along. So when it came to coming out to my daughters and some friends, it just made being around them in either mode a possibility. It isn't necessarily anything about being a girl's night out or anything like that. If my daughter wants to see a movie, we go and I am however I was before the movie. My wife and I had two friends that found out by us running into each other at a restaurant. The two of them and my wife went to a local convention and I went up to see my wife for dinner and I ran into them. No sneaking around, just walked up and started talking and we got a small crowd together eventually.

So what does that all mean? By being out to those I am out to so far, I have been able to be myself around them and fully accepted. There is no sneaking around and no pretenses; I am who I am around them.

[JessHaust]

Sue, you story is very much like mine. Wife has always known, but it has just been these last several months that I have been expressing myself. I just decided to tell everyone, if for no other reason than to head off the accidental meetings you describe. It is so very nice to be ables to express who I am to my family and friends, no sneaking around. No anticipation anxiety . So much better,

[Lynn Marie]

I told my lady friend of 4 1/2 years last June. Okay, so it set me free, but it really broke her heart. It was like I had been cheating on her all along. I've felt terrible about that ever since, but I also love the freedom to dress, or go out, or do anything at all anytime I like without having to explain anything to anyone. It's quite liberating. She really deserved better than that. What can I do?

[Contessa]

I'll tell you this part since most of you already know and keep typing the same stuff I am supposed to type. I came out to my wife about a year ago now. I thought for sure that the person I thought I knew was a bit more open minded. She isn't but I can't go back in the closet or go back to being a sad depressed man. I would rather be a happy woman a fake yes but a woman no doubt. I am now happy and my wife is sad. We have always been the opposite of each other. I can't say any more that this is very weird to me. I now know what was missing that made me a whole person. I'm now running on all 8 cylinders. But unfortunately I must continue my life alone after 38 years. Does not a girl have to do what a girl has to do?

Tess

[prettytoes]

I have had the same results as most of the others here. I have been much happier since my wife discovered my lifelong secret. She has asked that I do not wear a skirt or dress in front of her, however, I often wear capris or yoga pants, panties 24/7, shave my legs, sleep in nighties or girly PJ's, and I keep my toenails painted most of the time. It has been a little over a year since she found out and she is getting more comfortable with it every day.

[Jessica Who]

Coming out has allowed me to be the person that I am truly am and express myself to the fullest :)

[Claire Cook]

Sue, you story is very much like mine. Wife has always known, but it has just been these last several months that I have been expressing myself. I just decided to tell everyone, if for no other reason than to head off the accidental meetings you describe. It is so very nice to be ables to express who I am to my family and friends, no sneaking around. No anticipation anxiety . So much better,


Jess, you've expressed what I feel. I've been gradually coming out to friends and neighbors and it is a relief. Haven't done so with family (no kids, relatives live scattered about) but I think that will happen. Maybe the most memorable reaction I have got from GG friends is a sense of trust from sharing an intimate secret.

[linda allen]

I can't really say I've "come out", but I'm now wearing bras and panties in public and around my wife (with her blessing) and nightgowns, and her stretch shorts at home. I have a thread about it.

Anyway, I feel more relaxed, I am nicer to folks, I help more around the house, and I can't stop telling my wife how much I love her. Sometimes when we are out, she will snap my bra strap just for fun.

[kristinacd55]

Omg, it has changed my entire life in a gigantic way. I started venturing out into the world in February of last year and if I were to look at where I am now would be shocked beyond belief. My daugthers, sister in laws, and various other people now know and my wife and I are currently separated but communicating better than ever. I go to AA now every day and am loving my life more than ever before. What a roller coaster! :)

[daviolin]

I came out to my wife three years ago. Its been a roller coaster of emotions. It just now is clearing up a bit. She is excepting me as who I am. She has even started to go out with me enfem. I also told my grown children and my brother and sister. I feel free now. It was a long rock road getting there. Daviolin

[Chardonnay Merlot]

Ever since I got real about it with my self, I have been a lot happier and a lot bolder. Expressing my femininity has greatly enhanced my total person. More confidence and more assertion more positive thrust. Ironically, being honest about my inner woman has made me a better man.

Now I've disclosed this to a few people I consider friends. That has not gone as well as I had hoped, but I've decided to let go and let God on that. My figuring is that those who were for you will be for you no matter what.

One smart move I made from the start is seek support. I joined a strong support group and I began to really learned about who am I in relation to my cross dressing and all the issue surrounding the greater issues in regards to transgenderism.

Some will have difficulty with this. With others I may have to keep on a "you don't need to know basis" for awhile. Not ideal, but it's okay. If there is one thing I know is that you have to engage people where they are, not where you'd like them to be.

But, as I told one person I came out to and their response was negative, "The smile I have when I see me dressed is greater than the frown on your face right now."

[GingerLeigh]

Coming out to my wife has not just reduced my anxiety, it has virtually eliminated it! I also don't feel as ashamed of myself for keeping things from her since now there is no big secret.
Generally speaking, coming out has been positive and my wife is reasonably supportive. The fact that she has not tossed me out on my ear (or even threatened to) is what I consider a plus.

[Jenniferpl]

Telling my wife was the best thing I ever did. She has been nothing but supportive. It took a load of my shoulders and I no longer had to live secret life.