If you go out, Public or Private?

[JessHaust]

For those who enjoy going out, do you go to Public places with lots of people like clubs, theaters, restaurants, shopping?
Or do you prefer a walk in the park, stroll along the beach, somewhere where you can be alone?

[2B Natasha]

Hi Jess.

When I go out its to places generally with lots of people. Downtown, shopping centers, restaurants et al. now that I'm comfortable with myself why shouldn't I go where I want. That is to say now. When I first went out it was to clubs. I did do one tg meeting. But it was a bit to much stitch and bitch for my taste.

For what it's worth. I find that at gay clubs I get far more stares and odd looks then if I just go out to a straight bar or club. I also feel more relaxed in those inviros too. I'm happy to leave the gay bars to the gay population and the drag queens.

Cheers

[kimdl93]

Personally iprefer being among people. I'm a fairly friendly and outgoing person and need the human contact. Also I think that a busy public place is considerably safer than a park, beach or empty street. Recent events in Winnipeg bear that out.

[debbeelee1]

Since I'm certainly not even close to passable, I perfer going to Girls Night Out type events. I guess I believe in safety in numbers!

I did have a major problems last night when I attended a Girls Night Out with my SO at the Funky Skunk in Warren, Ohio. After driving my car 2,500 miles on vacation over the past couple of weeks, it waits until I'm in a dress, hose and heels for a front tire to go down! We were just pulling in to town and the dash board warning came on. The right front tire was down to 24 psi. I pulled into a well lit gas station and I asked my SO to put air in the tire.

She fiddled around for a few minutes and I watched the pressure gage go from 24 to 20 psi. I hopped out ot he car and of course a car pulled in just then, filled the tire and hopped back in the car. Actually, no one gave me a second look! Time to teach her again how to put air in the tires!

[Phoebe]

I like going out in public now. Especially enjoy going to CLCC and being with others like myself. Spent to many years hiding in the closet as was scared to be ridiculed by trans-phobic people in public. Later found that probably would not have happened in most places I go now. I don't go to parks as a female but I do enjoy sitting in the park down the street from my apartment building over looking the Mississippi river. The park sits on a bluff about two hundred fifty feet above the river. Can watch freight trains being made up in the Union Pacific yard, watch barges being towed up and down the river, pleasure craft on the river and also a approach path for one of the runways to downtown St Paul airport and vehicles on the main road Concord St.

[Melissa Rose]

I don't go out for solitude or to find space away from others so by default I'm in public places. I'm usually doing everyday things which requires being around others.

[StephanieDragg]

very public, grocery stores, restaurants, theaters, malls, department stores.... everywhere... I have been very fortunate, everyone has always treated me wonderfully

[sherri]

For what it's worth. I find that at gay clubs I get far more stares and odd looks then if I just go out to a straight bar or club. I also feel more relaxed in those inviros too. I'm happy to leave the gay bars to the gay population and the drag queens. I'm jealous. I would luv to make the switch from gay clubs to straight clubs, but most of the straights clubs around here are either cowboy bars or dive bars. Dangerous territory. :-P And so far I haven't met anyone brave enough to escort me to a straight club. :-(

[Holly]

Totally mainstream... shopping, grocery store, theater (just went to see the Blue Man Group last Tuesday), the DMV, restaurants, auto repair, dry cleaners, the dentist, clubs (gay and straight), movies, the bank, the utility companies, etc. I figure if people want my money, they can graciously accept from me, not the pretend person I was.

[Cynthia Anne]

I go out where there are people! I can always stay home to be alone! Hugs!

[JLynn17]

omg so ya im gonna have to go take my dog for a walk in park today dressed and get back to ya on the answer... i got a pretty lil pitbull who drags me everywhere we go, so this should be fun kinda hot daisy duke time :-) what what :) lol

[Michaelasfun]

Kind of a combo for me, I go to public places, but during the week when many folks are at work, so less people. Just my personal preference, I don't like crowds.

[katie_barns]

I would rather be in public. I like interacting while dressed. I can usually pass from a distance and don't get many looks but when I deal with people one on one up close; I usually can see in their eyes if I have been clocked. It's about 50/50. Even if clocked seldom does anyone say anything.

[Nikki A.]

I can be alone at home, I don't need to do that. I just try to do what I need to do however I'm dressed, been to restaurants, church, friend's homes and have been shopping fully dressed. Semi dressed I have run errands and everyday mundane chores, I just try to wander a little further from home for a little more anonymity.
I'm not a club person and I usually only go to them when there is a meet up or event and I know there will be friends there.

[Sallee]

I do both crowed places like malls and movie theaters and walks in the park. Just getting out is fun public or private but I like to go places where I see people and people see me How else do I know how I look

[STACY B]

All the chix here have the same feeling ,, The word is AFFERMATION ,, I think thats how you spell it ? To be afirmed ,On your looks an manerisms ,, Me too I like to go around people ,,,Hell Im a nice talkative person an get along well with others ,,No matter what Im wearing . We all want to be afirmed .

[Lorileah]

If I spend 1-2 hours getting made up and dressed, someone better see me. Otherwise why bother?

[ArleneRaquel]

Grocery shopping, going for a morning walk, are my favorite activities, but I also attend clubs, restaurants enfemme.

[Xena]

I have never tried public places, but then I use to go for walks and bike rides years ago.

[Vanessa Storrs]

I go most anyplace. I do not pass at all but I believe it is my duty to inflict my beauty upon the world.

[Nikki A.]

If I spend 1-2 hours getting made up and dressed, someone better see me. Otherwise why bother?

Also with what we spent on clothing and makeup & accessories. I agree 100 % with Lorileah

[JessHaust]

If I spend 1-2 hours getting made up and dressed, someone better see me. Otherwise why bother?

Really good point !

[Jenniferathome]

Always in public. When I am in girl mode, I want to to show myself. Kind of a strange validation of my female side.

[ArleneRaquel]

Always in public. When I am in girl mode, I want to to show myself. Kind of a strange validation of my female side.

Excellent post Jennifer, you some up my views completely. I love to be seen dressed as a lady.

[Lynn Marie]

Do you realize that you have started 29 threads in just over 3 1/2 months! That must be some kind of record! Wow, you're really prolific.

I go out.

[Cheryl T]

I go anywhere and every where!
Since my first experience in public (thanks Becky) I have the confidence to go where ever I please. I've been lucky to have not experienced any harassment or bad situations and I do hope that continues to be true. I'm not "in your face", I'm just another woman and hopefully I am perceived that way.

I've never been to a gay establishment. All of my interactions have been mainstream...malls, movies, restaurants, etc. Last October my wife and I went on a "girls" vacation and the entire week I was just another tourist doing touristy things in touristy places. It was a great experience and made me feel so much more comfortable with myself.

[MargaretJ]

I havent had the courage to go into shops etc yet, but I will go out at night, and walk in areas where there are people going about.

[Amanda22]

I go to very public places with lots of people.

[Jackiefl]

I alone or with my wife go out to very public places. The places i or we go are restaurants,theaters,walmart,disney world,universal studios,bush gardens,las vegas even flew fem, and the list goes on and on.

[SusanLCD]

Public places, Jess. Theaters, malls, department stores, grocery stores, resale shops, DART rail. Probably some of the same places where you've been.

Big Lots is fun and always has different stuff. JCPenney usually has nice clothes to try on that aren't outrageously overpriced. Macy's has nice clothes that I can try on, but, can't afford (except for the clearance rack.) Burlington Coat has a large selection of low priced jewelry and some clothes. Payless and DSW for shoes. Sallys Beauty Supply always has something I need. Kroger, Albertsons, Tom Thumb, and Target have groceries and I still like to eat.

I don't pass, but, I blend reasonably well until someone gets up close. And, if they call me maam, I melt.

[Eryn]

I love to be out in public. Like others, I see little point in going to all the trouble without others seeing me.

[Sam-antha]

Real public for me, that is where I feel the happiest. But i also like the private variety, out on the hills or wherever, including wild swimming... bikini time. Sharing a big river pool with public for real people can be fun too, for some reason in such pools, folk tend to stay apart fromeach other, which suits me fine.
~S~.

[Carol A]

I prefer going public and mixing with others, much safer and 99% of the time people don't give me a second look as most people are to busy doing thier thing.

[TrishM]

Went out in public for the first time on 4/7/2012 at 6:00p. My wife was happily shocked. She said, "You've got more guts than me!" I said, "Did I look that bad?" lol :)

I went for a walk through a park. Felt great!

[Kaz]

I go out as well... public and private... why do people feel the need to only do one or the other? I am quite happy being on my own and I am equally happy being around others - for me the two are complementary activities... I guess I must be wierd!

[NathalieX66]

I go anywhere and every where!
Since my first experience in public (thanks Becky) I have the confidence to go where ever I please. I've been lucky to have not experienced any harassment or bad situations and I do hope that continues to be true. I'm not "in your face", I'm just another woman and hopefully I am perceived that way. .

Thanks, Cheryl & Becky, both of you were major confidence builders for me when I first started going out in public two & a quarter years ago. I've been out with both of you.....sometimes on different occasions.
Nowadays, I'm anywhere & everywhere.....often going solo on the fly.
I've been treated great just about every place I've been. There's nothing more satisfying than having sales staff or restuarant staff treat me like gold.

[Rogina B]

Anywhere and everywhere with no trouble whatsoever..

[sterling12]

Lonely parks and parking lots late at night, not for me! Virtually every attack that we read about in The Media Section seems to start out with some T-Gal being alone!

99 % of all of my "Going" seems to be in Public Places. Oh, I do go to private parties at someone's house, but there's usually thirty or forty other people attending. Biggest hassle at those events is finding a Parking Place, so I don't have to walk a mile in heels.

Common Sense, really! If you don't wish to end up stuffed in a Dumpster, avoid places where you are alone, and you can be trapped. By the way, I would give that same advise to any GG too. But, they already know of such things.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[NathalieX66]

Common Sense, really! If you don't wish to end up stuffed in a Dumpster, avoid places where you are alone, and you can be trapped. By the way, I would give that same advise to any GG too. But, they already know of such things.

Peace and Love, Joanie

Joanie, I can uderstand your concern. It's a valid issue.
Just keep in mind that crime mostly happens when there are not a lot of people around. Criminals look for the right opportunity. Being in company often helps.
It's easy for me to walk into a large shopping mall in New Jersey, near New York City because people are too preoccupied with themselves, and nobody really pays attention to anyone else.

I recently had a friend down in Florida, who walked into a wine bar while en femme, with his wife. While his wife went to the ladies' room , he was groped and fondled by the wine bar owner (who is gay), who made all sorts of insulting remarks to the point that it almost became a physical confrontation. Nothing is impossible as far as I'm concerned, but there's definitely safety in numbers.

[suchacutie]

Somehow I don't see walking around in my garden (large as it may be) to be "going out". I also don't think that being alone at any time on foot is the safest, and being alone can more easily mean being read because others are able to focus on you where they might not be able to, and their actions might be less than positive "alone". In a crowded mall one can be wonderfully alone and anonymous, especially those first few times out and about!

[Chardonnay Merlot]

Public all the way and preferably with fellow supportive girls. Safety and strength and fun in numbers.

[Jilmac]

I have no qualms about going to my favorite shopping mall, restaurant, club, or theater, and I'll do it whether I'm alone or with a friend. It's so much fun and I love the experience.

[Diane Smith]

When I dress up, it's to go out, and when I go out, it's to be seen by others. That doesn't mean I'm excessively extroverted, seeking danger, or deliberately looking to be the center of attention, but for me, putting in all the trouble to dress and do makeup just to sit, or even walk around outside, by myself is kind of a waste of good effort. Oftentimes it's just to be seen by one other person, but that's enough.

- Diane

[toriwilliams]

i don't do the dancing club scene; jazz or blue clubs where i can enjoy the music and a glass of wine is more my speed; but every where else is fair game.

[Patrice_CD]

I'm a people person and enjoy being out in public. Granted, the first few times I was scared to death. Walking up to the Clinique counter awhile back asking for help with foundation was a bit unnerving but ther the SA smiled and was very easy to work with.

I'm pretty girly in boy mode so when I'm fully dressed it's even easier as no one really looks at me differently.

[RedBaron]

I wear skirts all the time and do everything in skirts, shopping, walking, going out in the evening.

[PretzelGirl]

My answer is Yes! I do this for the way I feel and it isn't so others can see me. So if I want to go to a crowded place, that is okay. If I want to go for a walk in the neighborhood or the local park (under safe circumstances) then I do it. It is about continuing to do what I normally do along with the related CD items like Tri-Ess meetings.

[Kristy_Iowa_CD]

Public. When I first started going out en femme it was always private (my first experience was driving in my car...that had tinted windows...at night...LOL).

Now I prefer to go out in public with lots of people. Shopping malls, beauty salons, resturants. Fortunately I have yet to have a bad experience.

[Sue Too]

Depending on my mood, I enjoy either, and I am comfortable in either setting. I like to think I'm like the typical woman of my age. It is fun to get all prettied up, but it is equally nice to put on the grubbies and kick around the neighborhood or park. I love to feed the ducks.

Susan in Phoenix

[Xena]

It has been awhile since I went out in public. I use to go and ride my bike and walk. But I will go give another walk around.

[Joanne Curl]

When I get the oppotunity to dress I like to go out and do the kinds of things women my age do- go to the movies, shopping, shopping, out to eat, shopping, shopping, did I say shopping?

[sissystephanie]

When I go out dressed enfemme, which is almost every day, I go wherever I feel like going. So my correct answer would be both public and private, although public would definetly happen more often. The major difference for me is that I will dressed totally enfemme, but looking just like the man that I am. No makeup and no wig!!

[Raptor3000]

Oh how I long to be brave enough to go out in public dressed!! It must be a great feeling!

[Stephanie47]

Most of my en femme time is in the home and back yard. I've been out in public in the evening hours when it is dark. I try to make those expeditions when it is raining so I can use an umbrella to shield my face if there is a potential encounter with another stroller. Frankly, just walking around with no purpose really bored me the last time I did it. I get more enjoyment from being en femme if I have something to do, even if it is domestic chores. I really get a deep sense of satisfaction and enjoyment sitting in the backyard eating breakfast or lunch and reading.

[Launa]

I've been in private for years but if I had my way it would be public for sure! I know I'll get read out there but I'm ready to handle that. I just have an internal relationship struggle with going out at the moment. One day there is going to be more public outings!

[Lori B]

Malls and parks,,walking my dog.....I`m happy:)

[Megan70]

Let me say this that will sound totally illogical but is true; tHE MORE CROWED, MORE PUBLIC PLCES YOU GO DRESSED AS THOSE YOU'VE MENTIONED IS THE BEST WAY OF BLENDING IN AND BEING 'ONE OF THE GIRLS' BELIEVE ME i'VE BEEN GOING OUT FOR 50 YEARS AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS WALK ALONE ON THE SIDEWALK OR DOWN THE CENTER AILSE OF AN EMPTY MALL ON A AFTERNOON AND CLEARKS WHO ARE RESTING ON THEIR ELBOWS WILL JUST SCAN THE MALL FOR SOMETHING TO LOOK AT... AND ITS YOU. GO PUBLIC definetly

[MaryAnn40c]

I go out to the mall,clubs I guess it depends on how I feel or what I need. Shopping makes me feel good.lol

[Krististeph]

Are you kidding? As chicken as I am? Private.
I've been seen and 'scoped out' a few times- nothing tragic, actually handled myself quite admirably. But i'm just not there as far as confidence. CD.com has helped, but i'm going slow- thinking a lot first. Better prospects here than ever though, and such wonderful friends.

I'll never be able to go out and pass like a babe, kind if what i'd aspire to if i could, but as a cd, i'd be good with that, or passing as a 40 or 50 something lady, sure- i'll get there.

But if money and all that were no issue- i'd be plenty happy on my own private estate- 95% private- (excluding friends and family, of course)- or just anonymous in public.

I have loads of respect and admiration for everyone who is fully public- i'm in awe of their confidence.

[Katrina_E]

I've been out for walks and it feels so great to hear my heels on the ground: once a man held a gate open for me and I felt wonderful. Catching your reflection in a shop window is such a thrill. I've never had the courage to actually go into a shop though...

[Sarahwithanh11]

Just out for the usual stuff - shopping, restaurants, an occasional movie. I don't care much for drinking or clubs, in either boy or girl mode. Just being out and about and interacting normally with the world as Jessica is what I enjoy!

[StaceyJane]

Anyone who has checked out my Youtube channel will know I like to go out to some very public places just for fun.