What Happened to my Brain?

[Traci Elizabeth]

As I am approaching 3 years HRT and reflect back, I can not remember what it was like to be a male or to think like a male (not that I care but just making an observation). Some of you may be in total disbelief but I'm very serious.

I believe that my brain has transitioned along with my body, and chemistry. Now granted I was never much of a male in the first place and looked and acted more like a female than a male all my life so maybe a more accurate description is simply that I know my brain is different than it was before HRT.

Science or wishful thinking (a case of the self-fulfilling prophecy or for you physiology or Greek literature buffs the Pygmalion effect)??????

Do any of you feel the same or am I from Venus?

[STACY B]

It might be the HRT ,, An it might not ,, Cuz I moved awhile back an I lived there for more than 20 years an I was thinking about it the other day ,,,An I cant realy rememeber to much about living there ,,, Weard ,,HUH,,,? Maybe we block stuff out that we dont want in our hard drive ?

[Julia_in_Pa]

Traci,

HRT takes quite a long time in enhancing brain chemistry and wiring that was left dormant prior to starting your HRT regime.
This isn't wishful thinking but rather you noticing the effects on the brain that HRT has.

Julia

[CharleneT]

I agree completely. I was just discussing this very thing with my therapist only 45 minutes ago . . . Friends often ask me what is the "real difference between the way men and women think..." Since I have the unique perspective of having lived both. Problem is that I really do not remember the male perspective all that well ? !! Exactly what you said ;) Once the "re-wiring" occurs, it is like you have a new brain - the old one is just gone.

Gotta say that I love that fact !

[Louistoalana]

Hearing things like this really excites me!

[Traci Elizabeth]

Problem is that I really do not remember the male perspective all that well


Charlene, THANK YOU! None of the handful of people who know from whence I came, can comprehend this concept. But I truly cannot remember. Yes, I can look at a picture of me pretending to be a male and say OK that's what I looked like but I can't relate to the life the picture represents.

I don't have the answers but I am just so thankful that my brain is changing with me. (I know I am acting like my brain is a separate entity itself)

[Laurie Ann]

Traci,

I have thought the same thing but also wonder if it just a continuation of breaking down the walls we surrounded ourselves with through out our lives to protect us.

[Linda Z]

:) it takes time!
I love the changes, slow may they be.

[Kathryn Martin]

I find this really strange. I have not felt this rewiring that you speak of, and I am not able to tell anyone of the difference in way men or women think. I always found men confoundedly confusing. I never got the way they thought or even approached a problem. This was often excruciating because my emotional and intellectual reference points were so different from men that I got stared at a lot. After beginning with hormones I truly felt an equilibrium evolving for me because the constant poisoning by T stopped and my chemistry supported physiologically what I was emotionally and intellectually instead of fighting the fight against T.

You may interpret this as the same what you are experiencing.

Tracy, I am from Venus and never from anywhere else.


I agree completely. I was just discussing this very thing with my therapist only 45 minutes ago . . . Friends often ask me what is the "real difference between the way men and women think..." Since I have the unique perspective of having lived both. Problem is that I really do not remember the male perspective all that well ? !! Exactly what you said ;) Once the "re-wiring" occurs, it is like you have a new brain - the old one is just gone.

Gotta say that I love that fact !

[Jorja]

Traci, you may be from Venus! :)

That is not the problem here though. HRT while it takes awhile, does rewire the brain. As you know, I have been female for 30+ years now. I do not really remember being male. As you say, I can look at pictures and say ok that is what I looked like but can not remember what It was like. There is also a fuzzy picture there too. I can't remember growing up as either a boy or girl. My life starts at about 22 - 23 years old. I can tell you I was in the Navy but I don't really even remember that.

Good little pills!

[MC-lite]

@Traci: I agree with you. I too am at the 3 year mark,and I feel and think differently than I did before I started.
I can only describe it as having everything come into focus and make perfect sense.

[JohnH]

I do feel the beginnings of a rewiring of my brain on M2F HRT. I'm a lot calmer, happier, and more logical. I have been able to give up drinking which has paid BIG dividends with my health so I am not worried about the HRT medication. My weight, blood pressure, and blood glucose are down a lot so the overall effect is a lot more healthy for me. I don't have issues of indigestion caused by too much food and drink.

Somebody told me - Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, which means Transgenders are from Earth!

John

[Inna]

Absolute reality for me, I have only been on strong application of HRT for only one year, and looking back at the male infiltrated with testosterone, I do not know that person anymore nor can I understand some of his thinking. I am an absolute believer that estrogen when replacing testosterone influences the cognitive sequencing, making our though process undergo metamorphosis, even though these brains were wired as female from birth their processes were under influence of powerful hormones which gave those thoughts particular tone, a color.

I am not sure about rewiring of neuro network although such processes occur in every brain alive despite the gender connotation, cells die and new ones replace the old, natural process, given the influence of different chemistry this rebuilding of neuro network might come under influence and therefore change accordingly.

[Organza]

Inna, I'm a biochemist and you are right. Replacing testosterone with estrogen will definitely change your thinking, moods, attitudes, etc. If a person undergoes total HRT from age twelve or so, the change might be almost complete. If it starts later, it's probably partial, but still remarkable.

Something within me is very proud of you, or maybe "admiring" is a better word. I can hardly imagine the efforts you've made. I laud you for showing what is possible. I do feel envy, but I also don't want to stop being a man (and I never could have achieved what you have), so the envy is of a wistful, almost happy kind. Mostly I want to continue following you and your story, as I imagine many of us do.

Lisa

[Kristy_K]

I have only been on HRT for almost a year and I would also have to say that I have experience the same changes. It is getting harder to remember any of my male times.

Then again I can't say that I even wanted to remember the male past.

[amielts]

Science or wishful thinking ??????

Neither probably. I guess it has to do with psychology. The letting go of the fake male persona and its limitations. That generally takes several years, and if you have done it in 3 years, then you've progressed nicely.

[JohnH]

Neither probably. I guess it has to do with psychology. The letting go of the fake male persona and its limitations. That generally takes several years, and if you have done it in 3 years, then you've progressed nicely.

I wonder how many males suffer with having feminine minds trapped in masculine bodies with the RIGID conventions imposed on men by society and don't do anything about it? In contemporary society women are free to dress and act masculine if they want to so there is not such an issue of a masculine body trapped in a feminine body. Maybe that was different about 70 years ago when women had to abide by rigid conventions back then.

John

[Princess Jen]

I've had the same realization after almost 17 months on HRT. It can be a bit hard for me to describe but I feel like I cannot have a 'thought' without having a 'feeling' at the same time to go along with it.

I also have no way to relate to any part of my male past. And even though I had been gravitating towards my eventual transition for some time beforehand, I just feel like I'm a completely different person now.