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Frédérique
04-20-2012, 05:28 PM
I was having a conversation with myself the other day, something I’ve been doing ever since I was a little boy, and I began to wonder if crossdressers talk to themselves more than “outsiders” do. This notion of having two “sides” keeps coming up, so wouldn’t it be logical to assume that one would, or could, converse with the other “self” you have created via crossdressing?

I should explain that I talk to myself often, mainly in a whisper, and I come from a family of such individuals. This may be a by-product due to lack of communication, or a tacit bent towards self-reliance, but it can be creepy AND fun at times! With me, it’s downright odd, perhaps evidence that I never developed any close relationships as a child, and I would often create imaginary friends to fill the void – in this way I could re-shape the world I could barely understand, and fall back on myself in times of crisis. As I’ve said before, I don’t come from a touchy-feely family, so I had to use found materials in an effort to construct a loving environment...

This self-conversation and reliance on imagination quite naturally led to crossdressing, once I got interested in “becoming” a girl. The polished level of secrecy I maintained also helped, but, try as I might, a female “side” did not appear. I would talk to myself, plan my adventures, ask myself penetrating questions, and tumble out autonomous answers, but when I dressed as a girl all such self-talk would cease. I would suddenly become ONE, and there was nobody to talk to. Rather than feel alone, I felt incorporated, pleased that I could end (or suspend) my curious habit and move forward. This is why I don’t believe in having a feminine “side.” I have not experienced this, but I seem to have two sides when I am in boy mode, i.e. drab...

Whenever I was caught talking to myself, I had the readymade excuse of being born a Gemini. Yup, there are TWO of me, so it’s natural to assume I would talk to myself. But, hang on – I was born premature, nearly a month early. Still, I used my Gemini nature to explain my weird ways, avoiding actual conversation, but cultivating my other “selves” in private. There are other factors, including speech disorders, but I find this idea of talking to yourself to be either a kind of defense mechanism, or a denial of sorts. Being primarily a selfish person (that’s how others may see me), self-denial is not in the cards – I made other versions of myself for fun, to obviate loneliness, or simply to have someone to talk to...

And yet, when I’m dressed to the nines, I never look in the mirror and say, “Freddy, you are very pretty...” or “Hello, beautiful!” No, I don’t do that. I don’t refer to myself as “Freddy,” but that’s beside the point. BEFORE I dress I will have a long conversation with myself about what I’m going to wear, or what I’m going to do once I’m dressed. It sounds something like this: “What do you think of this skirt?” followed by “I don’t know – I wore that a few days ago.” One side of me will say (aloud), “How about this dress? It’s sad that you’re neglecting it...” and “I” answer “Yes, you’re right – I think that dress would be perfect.” Macabre, isn’t it? There are two halves of “me,” mentally unincorporated, much like those Gemini twins, but they yearn to be one...

Once I am dressed, a miracle happens, and “we” join together, becoming Freddy in name and appearance. I never talk to myself when I’m dressed – it’s as though there’s nothing to discuss, because I’m beyond that state of gender limbo where I was once imprisoned. All is well now, so let’s go forth and enjoy the union. Now may be a good time to cue the lyrics to “Get Together,” because I have achieved this blessed state of one-ness by way of pantyhose and lipstick...

Do you talk to yourself, or do you talk to your “self?” I suppose you can have it both ways, right Freddy? Freddy? Hello? Hmmm... :idontknow:

PS – I often “write” these OP’s by talking to myself, either walking back and forth upstairs in my house, or while traveling to and fro in my Jeep. Later, I write things down before I forget what I said – luckily I still have enough available memory to accomplish the task! This particular OP was written off the top of my wig-covered head, so I apologize if it seems ragged or lumpy – I don’t have the time or inclination to iron out all the wrinkles, which are numerous...
:o

STACY B
04-20-2012, 05:40 PM
Hell I thought everyone talked to them selves ? That way I can always be right . Or how else you going to get your story strait . An thats how you get a female voice . Hell Im doing it now . An talking to you an me .

Cynthia Anne
04-20-2012, 05:55 PM
I have been accused of talking to myself! Then the times I would talk to my ex was the same as talking to myself! But now when I talk to myself it always ends in an argument and I always lose! Go figure! [Just kidden around] True though I do talk to myself! I live alone! Hugs!

Sandra1746
04-20-2012, 05:57 PM
Of course I talk to myself, I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. I used to get mild scolding for it but my parents gave up after they realized I wasn't going to stop. I use it to review vexing problems of all types and just make observations to myself. I never devised an excuse to explain it, I just do it.

I always thought I was 'normal', it's the others who are having problems.

Hugs,
Sandra1746

STACY B
04-20-2012, 05:59 PM
Dont ya just love to catch someone talking to themselves ? I do it an have done it all my kids ,, I always say WHO YA TALKING TO ? An my youngest always gives the best answer ,,, MYSELF !

lori m crawford
04-20-2012, 06:00 PM
yes i do all the time about a lot of things but wen you lose i thank you have a thing lolo but yes i talk to my self a lot wen i am alone i dont see oney thing rong with it i thank we all do at one time or another

rachaelsloane
04-20-2012, 06:32 PM
I've talked to myself for years but hate it when I give myself the wrong answer.

BillieJoEllen
04-20-2012, 06:34 PM
Of course I talk to myself. Its the only intelligent conversation I get!

Rogina B
04-20-2012, 06:41 PM
I have always talked to myself...maybe it is a common TG trait..lol

Kate Simmons
04-20-2012, 06:51 PM
Actually, I don't talk to myself any more Freddy. I do "talk" with my spirit guide but it's really mostly in the form of being telepathic.:)

Emily
04-20-2012, 06:56 PM
Yes I do talk to myself. Surprisingly my other side seems to be the most intelligent when it comes to these situations. It might need a little tweaking but it could be possible that that is the side speaking with all of you right now, meaning that I should be referring to my other side instead.

Tara D. Rose
04-20-2012, 08:20 PM
Yes Freddy, I talk to myself. I think most people do really. I have been caught talking to myself at work sometimes, and a co-worker will come up to me and ask me if I am talking to myself and why am I doing it. I always respond with "It's the only way I can really have an intelligent conversation" Then they look at me like they are offended. Then to me, it's all the same for they offend me when they ask if I am talking to myself, like as if one that talks to themselves are crazy or sick in the head, etc. I'm about to go to bed right now just after I finish typing this, and I do intend to talk to myself as I fall asleep.

Miriam-J
04-20-2012, 08:22 PM
This is one where I'll have to take a pass. I don't think I've ever talked to myself, except the occasional 'Stupid' when remembering a dumb mistake. But it would be interesting if this was a common characteristic for many of us. It's a bit worrisome actually since it smacks a bit of schizophrenia somehow healed by clothing choice, and this is an incredibly unmedical statement on my part ;-).

Miriam

Beverley Sims
04-20-2012, 08:23 PM
Talk to myself?
How else can I win an argument these days.
If I have a good idea or a comedic situation I need to remember, I write it down.
Some of the best situations are still lost in my head.
"Now where is that pen and paper."
Mr.Bic has a lot to answer for, along with that person that invented the sticky note pad.
I am just going off to agree with myself again.:)

Aloha Jayne
04-21-2012, 01:05 AM
I have never thought about the correlation of talking to yourself and crossdressing. But I have always talked to myself since I was little. And not just in my head. Sometimes out loud with hand gestures and facial expressions if I'm alone. I've been caught several times and usually get ridiculed for it. But since I was the only person on this planet that had these freaky thoughts, then I was the only one that I could talk to.

But it's more than just talking. If there is an idea that I am thinking about, I will rehearse it over and over in my head, kinda like trying to learn a speech or a part in a play. When I was talking to a therapist last year, I would talk out what I wanted to say, and stucture each point so that by the time I was in front of her, I had my lines down exactly as I intended. Then I practiced coming out to my wife about a 1000 times for over 6 months. And now that my wife isn't talking to me, I have been talking to myself about all the things I want to say and she doesn't want to hear.

Also when Jayne showed up last year, she introduce herself to me in my head as well. So maybe it is my other "self" in there all this time wanting to be heard. Heaven help me if she ever finds her voice.

noeleena
04-21-2012, 04:06 AM
Hi,

Im not bothered about talking wether to other people or my self, what i will be bothered about is when i stop.

its them guys in white & thier white waggon to come & find me. i jumped over the high fence years ago & im not going back. so if i stop youll know where i am. acting insane, but,,,, but,,,,,. they said i was sane,,,am i ,,,,gee ill have to rethink about talking to my self , now where was i ,......ummmm hmmm oh yea those clothes,,,,,,

...noeleena...

k lynn
04-21-2012, 04:32 AM
Yes I talk to myself all the time it keeps me from going crazy I even answer myself

Shari
04-21-2012, 05:54 AM
I can't say that I've ever talked to myself when dressed. Perhaps the two sides of this Gemini, much like yourself, attain harmony in the silks and satins and there's no need to speak, just enjoy.
Otherwise yes, very much so. It seems that when I'm working on a particularly difficult problem or require more concentration, verbalizing what i'm thinking gives me the confirmation and confidence that I'm on the right track.

TrishM
04-21-2012, 07:20 AM
I never talked to myself until about a week ago. I was dressed. It was the first time I was wearing flats instead of heels. I felt like I had really "found" my self. I saw my reflection in a window and whispered, "Hi. So you really are real." It was weird but nice.

Cheryl T
04-21-2012, 08:39 AM
I talk To myself when I'm choosing an outfit...but I don't talk With myself as if there were 2 people there.

As the joke goes.... "I used to be schizophrenic, but We're ok now"

Veronica27
04-21-2012, 09:32 AM
I can't go out anymore without seeing dozens of people talking to themselves. They all seem to have one thing in common. They all have one hand at the side of their head, which appears to be holding something small.

I talk to myself all the time, but it is almost always just inside my head. I verbalize most of my thoughts, and have always thought of this as being normal. Occasionally my wife has asked me what I am saying, as a slight whisper or movement of my mouth sometimes slips out. When alone, I often curse out loud when things go wrong, or I am annoyed with something.

Veronica

DonniDarkness
04-21-2012, 09:46 AM
Hi Freddy,

I often talk to myself as well. I very rarely answer myself back out loud. I ask myself a question out loud and then answer in my head. I also have developed a habit when i take my wig out...i talk to "Her"...things like "well, hello you" "How have you been"

I also talk to myself in the mirror alot...."affirmation" i believe is what they call it. Often when i see myself as femme me i will say things like "Smile bitch lifes not so bad" or "Where the hell have you been?"

Your question to us really intrigues me though, i have also wondered if talking to myself/femme-self was just something i did. Maybe its part of our creative process or maybe its part of getting our minds to sync with our gender expression, or it could just be that we are bat spit crazy......j/k....well only a little

Great post Freddy,
-Donni-

xdressed
04-21-2012, 09:50 AM
I find I talk to myself in my head a lot, not really out loud so much. I also find that I imagine talking to people that aren't actually there. Often times I imagine I'm being interviewed because I've become a famous artist or my band has become quite well known, although I think this is probably true of all creative types. More recently I've imagined coming out to people and what that might actually be like. As far as talking to my 'self' has gone apart from the occasionally saying out loud that a certain dress or something looks good, I don't think I do

Barbara B
04-21-2012, 09:57 AM
I find it seems to have progressed from me talking to myself in my head, to a constant chatter at the back of my head. I'd liken it to sitting in the pub with a couple of friends and getting half a conversation.

Ally 2112
04-22-2012, 11:36 AM
I will talk to myself but i try not to answer back i can usually figure it out from there :)

Soriya
04-22-2012, 01:32 PM
Absolutely!

Everyone does in some form or another, in their heads, out loud, doesn't matter. Most would be suprised at how they actually talk to themselves as well as answer themselves daily. It's constant. When alone I mostly do it out loud as well as answer myself out loud. The trick is, do you actually listen to the answers you give yourself to the questions you ask?


I've talked to myself for years but hate it when I give myself the wrong answer.

Racheal, when this happens, this is when you should pay close attention to the answer you give yourself because wether you hate it or not, you gave yourself the answer for a reason! Our minds are made up of two parts, Ego and Intuition (our higher self). Ego tells us what we 'want' to hear where as intuition tells us what we need to hear, especially when the answer doesn't feel good. It takes practice to know which part of you talking but when you ask yourself a question, intuition is the first answer that comes to mind, the very first answer. After that, our ego's try to take over and fill us with doubt. This often leads us to avoid the situation because of something we fear and ego operates out of fear.

Suppose you are in a realtionship that doesn't feel good. You have been feeling it for sometime and out of knowhere you start talking to yourself about it and hear the first statement you make wether it be in your mind or by talking outloud. It could look something like this....

Intuition: I’m not happy, this relationship isn't right for me.
Ego: Oh ya it is. You are just being silly.
Intuition: Well, she doesn't respect me, puts me down and critisizes everything I do
Ego: Of course she respects you! You are just super sensitive. You need stay with her or you could end up alone for the rest of your life.

In this example, the fear is about being alone. The ego tries to downplay what you really feel because if you left, you would be within your fear when in fact, the person in this example is already in that very fear, feeling alone within the relationship. This is a very common example we all have most likely experianced and stayed in an unhealthy relationship longer then we should have but the logic behind us talking to ourselves can be applied to every situation in our lives.