Littlei paranoid.

[Maria 60]

I didn't get a chance to post this during the week but i guess it's better late then never. Last weekend we were both stressed from a week of work so decided to go for a drive. About an hour away from home we stopped at a mall. I was partly dressed on the ride so i was getting changed and my wife told me to make things a little interesting and don't put my socks on and leave the bra on. I was ok with it and then asked her again if she was sure she was ok with that, because the black pantyhose were going to show when i walk and it was a nice day i was wearing a t shirt and a light jacket the bra was going to show. We went to this mall many times before and there is a name brand pantyhose store there that sells swim suits and pantyhose at great price's. We went in this store and it is very small and there was only the sales lady there sitting at the register. My wife starts to ask me if i like these one's do you want those one's and i would answer back in a almost whisper yes or no, knowing that the cashier could hear us. We then went for lunch in the food court and while we were eating she said to me, why were you so paranoid in that pantyhose store? I know the closet door is very tightly closed but your with your wife and that's all you should worry about. I know it's a small world but your a hour away from home and who care's about the cashier, or the people walking in the mall and notice the pantyhose peeking out from your shoe's. Being with me and knowing that i am ok with it is all that should be important to you. You should feel so comfortable that you should go up to the cashier and ask her what size you are in pantyhose, if your feet hurt you should be able to take your shoe's off here and not worry about what anybody else thinks except your wife. I said i don't think i will ever do that but i guess i could lighten up a little. Is any body else here paranoid when shopping with the wife for fem cloth or taking little chances or am i alone on this one.

[Jeanna]

Oh how lucky you are! Lighten up ignore the rest of the world and trust her. I'm so jealous of your relationship that it's not even funny.

[STACY B]

Ohhhhhh I long for the days of the OL dare ,,,,Becuz thats my favorite ,, I love it when she dares me ,,But not so much antmore ,,I guess it was more fun for her when I also was afraid of somwthing so small as pantyhose with pants or a bra under a jacket ,,Let it run its corse it will pass trust me . An before you know it yull be dressed to the nines an cant keep you home . She is just testing you to see if your serious or just want to play a little .Mine did it an found out I was DEAD serious ! So now Ill go to the end an back to where not long ago I was just like you . Just like they say BABY STEPS .

[Sandra1746]

I think you need to listen to your wife and loosen up a bit. Going out dressed in an androgynous manner even with pantyhose and a bra won't cause any excitement and especially not in a clerk. Unless you have other reasons for not getting "outed" you will find other people are more interested in themselves than in you.

You will find many posts on this board about those who went out dressed and...nothing happened. They had an uneventful, but fun, outing. So experiment a bit. Go shopping with your wife; get some fem slacks and tops and maybe some shoes and get out and enjoy the fresh air. (PS: Kohls and TJ Maxx won't bust the budget.) Experiment...

Enjoy life,
Sandra1746

[Cynthia Anne]

My goodness girl! Many of us could only dream of having a wife like that! I agree loosen up! When I was a teenager I was very paranoid, like the first time I bought my first bra! But that's another story! Since then I could care less what others think!Go with the flow and have FUN! Hugs!

[Cheryl T]

We shop together all the time, en femme and drab. She used to do that to me, offering things saying "you don't have a grey skirt do you?" in a normal voice in the store while I was drab. At first it was a cause for some concern, now it's just normal. We discuss it openly as if it were anything else we were talking about. If people notice and give a look then so be it.
The best though is shopping with my cd girl friend who makes no bones about being cd. Her voice is obviously masculine and when we shop we just talk. One time in Kohl's we were looking at dresses and I saw this little old lady looking at us. She was about 4' tall it seemed and she would peek around the rack and look, then totter back to her husband and whisper, then totter back and peek. This went on until at last I looked her in the eye and almost burst out laughing. She was the one shocked to be caught...so cute.

[KimberlyJean]

My biggest fear/worry is embarrassing my wife. So if she was onboard I would be alot more open.

[Tina B.]

Maria, That is a wonderful lady you have there. She sounds like a lot of fun. Yes you need to lighten up, your not on home court, and playing in someone else's mall should be relaxed and fun, I love shopping out of town, I lose all reserve compared to at home. I remember the first time we where on a weekend get at way to Lake Tahoe, Nevada, we where in a gift shop when the wife held up one of those resort type skirts and tops with a Tahoe print on it, and held it up in front of me, and what seemed loudly said "This looks like it would fit you". I almost fell thought the floor, as I looked around and saw this older lady staring with her jaw sagging down. But the real funny thing is, that was more than 10 years ago, and I've never seen that old lady again, so it was not a big thing, and I'm sure the lady got over her surprise pretty quickly. I just wish my wife was a comfortable out in public with me as yours is with you.
Tina B.

[Beverley Sims]

My wife makes me nervous when we are amongst the bras and intimates. Comments like "You have one like that." "Not that one it would give you floppy boobs" or "Get that shelf bra it would look good with your low cut blouse." This only embarrasses me when I am in drab and someone turns around to see who owns the deep voice that gave the negative reply. I have to love it as it shows some acceptance.:)

[Stephanie47]

The only time I went shopping with my wife it was extremely stressful for her. All we were shopping for was panties. It was not worth the effort. I prefer to do my own shopping. Yes, it would be nice to have an accepting wife who participated to some degree. However, that is not going to happen. She is totally against my cross dressing. So, it is DADT with me doing my own shopping.

[RADER]

I can relate to this;
On Tuesday, my wife and me have an appointment to get me a wig fitting.
I am a little nervous about, since no one out side of her knows anything about
my willingness to dress. We are going to a CD friendly wig shop in Chicago
called Rachel's. I know all will be OK, but there is still a little shyness since
I was laughed out of a corset shop many years ago. (they where to be CD
friendly also)
Rader

[DonnaT]

Being paranoid sends the wrong message, as if there was something wrong with being a CD.

[Maria 60]

Your right Donna T. No nothing wrong with crossdressing but i don't want to jump out of the closet either. It's funny you said that because my wife also said that the cashier seen guilt or knew something just the way i was acting.

[Foxglove]

I think I have a different take on this from everyone else. If Maria's not comfortable about certain things just yet, maybe it's not right for her SO to push her. There are certain things I'm comfortable about buying in a shop--e.g., skirts, dresses and many other things. There are other things I'm not comfortable buying--e.g., bras and panties. Those I order on-line. Perhaps some day I'll be more relaxed about buying such things in a shop, but I don't really see any reason to push myself. When I'm ready, I'll do it.

Everyone on this forum agrees that when a CDer comes out to his SO, he shouldn't push her. If she's uncomfortable with certain things, he should respect that and hope that eventually she'll become more accepting. Perhaps there are cases when the SO is more comfortable with certain things than the CDer, and perhaps that should be respected. We're all trying to get somewhere, but we all have our own pace.

My two cents' worth. Best wishes, Annabelle

[PretzelGirl]

When I was a boy, my mother would hold girl's clothes up to me (presumably to judge size for others) and I would get embarrassed. My wife doesn't do it much, but I am well passed that.

Having said that, I agree with Annabelle. If you aren't comfortable with it, maybe you should ask your wife to dial it back a bit. While I was learning to get used to it in the beginning, my wife used to ask "Do you like this on me?" with extra emphasis on "me" when she meant Sue.