homophobic? maybe you're gay. does this argument work for crossdressing?

[busker]

There is an article in--where else, the NYT--that indictes that at least 20% of homophobes MAY be gay! We are not surprised as the authors point to 3 major politicians who presented themselves as antigay but are in fact GAY. How does this argument work to explain the dislike- to- hatred of crossdressing that some people encounter daily? Are there more CDs than we imagine? How could this apply to women? The studies only involved GLB attitutdes-no TG/TS.
here's the link to a short article
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/29/opinion/sunday/homophobic-maybe-youre-gay.html?src=ISMR_AP_LO_MST_FB

[Chickhe]

When I was young anything off the main stream was a phobia... I was always uneasy around gay people... but after meeting some and coming to terms with my own issues...just like CDing...straight...otherwise typical guy and that's okay! now I don't mind being around them, they are people too. I still get kind of uneasy with the gays who put on a show with the overly feminine gestures etc... but just because it seems like a front.

[Lucy_Bella]

Hey wait!!! Stop waving that finger !! They are not Gay okay.... But their boyfriends are... I have had many chances to test my sexual preferance.. Point is why bother ? Who's business is it what goes on in the bedrooms? I no longer express my gender choices I know what I perfer and if I did express it .. Now that would be leaving the bedroom door wide open now wouldn't it..

[KellyJameson]

The hatred against crossdressing may be the expression of hatred against men who appear effeminate because this is considered as "chosen passivity" which would be labelled as cowardice.

Think of the sensitive boy bullied by the other boys because he is viewed as weak (a coward).

As for women many have a love/ hate relationship with the sensitive male because for some it only meets half their needs but leaves them frustrated and fearful in other areas, many women are seriously revolted by men who act or are feminine and many women who fear men are attracted to them for the wrong reasons and than end up resenting them for the traits they were attracted to out of fear not love.

Crossdreamer did an excellant post about love shy males and it would be interesting to know how many who crossdress relate to his words

http://www.crossdreamers.com/2010/03/on-gilmartins-love-shy-men-and-male.html

Homophobes often are those who have been taught that sex is a perversion among those of the same sex so than they are trapped feeling like they are perverted for their same sex desires which they experience but ignore.

When the tension between desire and feeling sick (perverted) reaches a critical point than the tension (stress) must be released, often as hate. Also hate can be a staged act that deflects peoples attention away from them because on the inside they think everyone knows their most private and "perverted" thoughts.

Stress causes violence and conflict between what you are and what you pretend to be is very stressful so like a ticking time bomb it is only a matter of time before it goes off, usually taking others with them and when humanity finally matures beyond fear and stops controlling people than there will be less not more violence, freedom reduces violence.

[Wildaboutheels]

Men ARE visual. Simply the way we are made. I would be willing to bet that for each and every guy who dresses completely as a female even if they never ever leave their house, there are 10 or more who ONLY like pantyhose, or heels or bras or wigs or whatever. I will also bet that very few guys will put on ANY type of women's clothing and not need or want to look at their image in the mirror. Sadly, many Americans are very quick to negatively judge and treat anyone of any age or gender who does fit in with what society judges to be "normal".

Each and every one of us is unique. Thank Goodness.

[Vickie_CDTV]

They might be gay, or perhaps just insecure in general but not necessarily gay (I know this is a theory that has been pushed heavily, the little science I have seen is rather dubious or clearly biased.) Gays might just be an easy target for those who are insecure for other reasons. It makes a great narrative, gay basher is secretly gay himself, etc. but I am skeptical that is always the case.

[Chazity]

Most of what is talked about in this tread is caused by society and what isconsidered the social norm.people fear what they dont understand.Most men and some women are not comfortible with their sexuality,so they feel the need to judge other people to keep the attention from them.Thats why there are so many gay and transgender or cd jokes . Also some religious groups play a part,not all but some .

[noeleena]

Hi,

Thanks Kelly,

To think of a sensitive boy bullied by other boys because hes seen as weak. what about the girls, same thing, no not a coward, certinly not, different , oh yes,

To be different, because one is not like the others, nothing to do with being gay or other, or even have a likeing for others clothes, just the meer fact of you know your different ,

My ? then is did they know that or did they just picked on you because you did not fight back. the funny thing is i was taught how to fight & how to drop a person to the ground in less than 4 seconds, & dislocate his shoulder, or worse,

& because of your background could not allow your self to ....fight .... back. over 50 years ago.

I know what its like being bullied,

...noeleena...

[Jenniferathome]

You are reporting a pseudo-statistic which is just nonsense. There is no relationship between three anti gay politicians being gay and anti crossdressing people being crossdressers. None. In fact there is no relationship between homophobes and them bing gay. This is exactly like when NFL players are reported committing crimes. It is always inferred that somehow criminals are part of the NFL culture. It's called coincidence,not cause and effect.

[JamieTG]

Since most people don't understand xdressing we are automatically said to be gay. If someone is homophobic they will probably act the same way toward us because "we must be gay" in their mind. Some closeted gay men rail against the gay lifestyle because they are repulsed by themselves and the fact that they have these feelings.

[April_Ligeia]

This doesn't surprise me at all because I always thought homophobes were gay. Seriously, who cares who someone else is sleeping with impress that person is a close family member or someone you may be interested in sleeping with. I don't go around thinking about other peoples sex lives, and those who do must want to be involved. I bet the same thing is true for people who speak out against crossdressing, they probably say more about themselves than any actual crossdressers when they speak.

[Foxglove]

Sounds simplistic to me to suggest that homophobes themselves are gay. I think we'd need a really good scientific study--maybe a lot of them--before we conclude that lots of homphobes are gay.

And homophobic bullies ultimately aren't necessarily harassing someone because he appears weak. There's a thing I call Differentism: people don't like anything that's different and they'll persecute it in one way or the other. If you're an ethnic minority, if you're a religious minority, if you speak a minority language, if you're the wrong sex, if you're too tall, too small, fat, if you have red hair, if you have a funny accent, if you wear glasses, if you have a funny name--anything that separates you from the herd can get you bullied.

LGBT people are about as different as one could possibly be. That's why some people hate us so much.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[Beverley Sims]

I think homophobic people are trying to be defensive about SOMETHING.

[reb.femme]

In the UK, we reserve such articles for the red top papers. Titillation for the masses passing as informative comment!
End of lecture :D

[Gillian Gigs]

The biggest problem with the news media, is where does the truth end and the entertainment myth begin? Sometimes the biggest problem we (CD'ers) have with the media is the fringe of our own group does something outragious and the media picks up on it for the pure entertainment of it all. Then we all get tarred with the same brush, the myth gets new life, and the truth gets pushed into the corner. As long as information can and will be used to coerce people, the truth about CD'ing will not come a light, or anything else for that matter. I am amazed that some one has not used CD'ing to harm another individual that is running against them in politics. As in, "are you the voting public aware that the male running for congress is a CD'er". Now He is on the defencive to a myth and must then mud sling something back to stay in the game. I love politics, no issues, just lies and mudslinging, no wonder the special interest groups are taking over! Do you believe the National Enquirer stories? What make anyone think that most newspapers are running a close second to them! It is not about news anymore, it is about entertainment value and making money through advertising.

[busker]

You are reporting a pseudo-statistic which is just nonsense. There is no relationship between three anti gay politicians being gay and anti crossdressing people being crossdressers. None. In fact there is no relationship between homophobes and them bing gay. This is exactly like when NFL players are reported committing crimes. It is always inferred that somehow criminals are part of the NFL culture. It's called coincidence,not cause and effect.

Jennifur, if you had read the NYTimes article you would see that it is not I who is reporting anything,but rather 2 psychologists who have done a study of 740 people and it is THEIR CONCLUSION, not mine. Learn to read, or don't bother to reply to threads when all you wish to do is to be insulting. And, I would like to KNOW just exactly where it is you get YOUR information from? are you an expert ? My question , which nobody addressed ,is could this related to the objections among the general public, and could there be more people who crossdress than admit to it. Sorry I bothered..

[Blaire]

A lot of our sayings and such come from many many years of use from observation, supposition, imagination, whatever have you. Like legends, there's always some basis in fact, however old it is. The one that always comes to mind in this case is, "Methinks he/she/them doth protest too much!"

[sometimes_miss]

There is an article in--where else, the NYT--that indictes that at least 20% of homophobes MAY be gay!
And maybe they're not. The media is absolutely filled with 'may be' garbage, they use the terms 'may' and 'might' in such a way as to indicate it's a sure thing, when it's all in the name of getting you to buy the newspaper or watch the TV show. Cheerios 'may' help lower cholesterol. Lipitor 'may' reduce heart attacks. wonder bread 'may' help build strong bodies. Low fat diets 'may' be healthy. Lots of people 'may' be autistic. But none of that's been proven one way or another.
Don't believe me that it's no longer about the news? Last week, CBS started showing commercials touting 'The new drug your children MAY be using, and it's legal and available!'. But they won't tell you what it is until 5 days later when they run the special. So, it's not about providing news. It's about getting you to watch their show and boost ratings. If it were really news, it would be important enough to tell people of the danger. But they no longer do that.
So, keep in mind every time you hear the words 'may' or 'excited' that it's probably a whole bunch of lies. (anytime you hear about a person on TV that says they're 'excited' about a product of any kind, it's pretty much a guarantee that product is crap).

[kimdl93]

I read this article with quite a bit of interest. It reminded me of my earlier, vocally homophobic days. I wasn't gay, but was leaning bi, and of course at the time extremely ashamed of myself for being a CD too. So, yeah, I think I either consciously or subconciously adopted homophobic attitutes as a cover.

My behavior had in fact, the exact opposite effect. A friend of mine called me on it...basically he asked "Why does it bother you so much?" The implication was pretty clear even then. From that point, I tried to avoid making overtly homophobic remarks.