The little things

[emmicd]

I certainly am not sure of the path I will take in my TG life once again but I am curious of what one does to help deal with gender dysphoria a little bit better than to ignore it.
I am taking one day at a time with the focus on my son and my family.
I also need to satisfy my own needs so I am finding there are "little things" that help me to some degree.

Obviously #1 on my list is the need to dress up in feminine atire and express my true nature.
I now feel I need to push the envelope and start to venture out into uncharted territory like the mall so that leads me to find other "little things" that will help.

#2 on my list is work on perfecting a more feminine image thru use of electrolysis and skin care products for a smoother and cleaner appearance.

#3 on my list is what do I do with my hair? I would love to grow it out and have it done up in a feminine hairstyle but that is not possible for me due to my emplyment dress code. Therefore I must resort to other means and obviously a nice wig that frames my face nicely can work. If I can find a place where I can dress and come in for a fitting I think the experience would be very satisfying. I ordered a wig from a catalog and am eagerly anticipating its arrival so i can start to feel more feminine and have a start to the feminine look.

#4 I am activvely talking about my transgender issues with my therapist and am also opening up to my family. My wife and son are weirded out by it but they seem ok at moments since they tolerate my dressing at home. I'm not sure if it is wise to do it 100% at home but I feel the need to do it as much as I can in a natural way that is not obtrusive.

#5 I am coming to this site to express my feelings and getting wonderful advice from all you girls which I truly appreciate. I find you all are open, honest and very kind and I thank you all for that.

#6 I use the internet to do research and find as musch as I can on transgender and crossdressing.

#7 I am talking to an MD about HRT and what it means and when I would find it is something I should proceed with.


#8 I am spending as much time with my son, being his dad and loving him and slowly introducing him to my feminine side in a non threatening way.

#9 I am accepting of my need to dress and am slowly getting some on board with my need to dress. My wife's sister is a nurse and one night she stopped over to stay the night as she worked late and needed to stay at our home so she didn't have to drive home which is another 40 miles and I was dressed up. Normally I would run to the bathroom rip off my female clothes panicking and changing into male clothing as quickly as I can but for some reason I just approched the door, opened it and said to my sister-in-law I was wearing a dress and asked if she was ok with it and she accepted it and I felt so relieved. She even complimented me on my dressing style. She was actually impressed with my dress and my wardrobe.

#10 I am trying to write more and be expressive as I find it helps. I could probabaly wriet a book about my life as a transgender woman hoping to eventually transition when the time is right and balancing caring for my family and nurturing my teenage autistic son.

#11 Going to the mall or Target, Kohls, Wal Mart to buy a pretty dress or outfit I like. I also love silky panties and panty hose.

These are some of the little things I do to help me with my gender dysphoria.

What are your list of "little things" that help you deal with your need to transition when the time is not yet right?

emmi

[KellyJameson]

Even though I do not experience the erotic aspects of crossdressing that those who identify as male and crossdress occassionally talk about I do have a very sensual relationship with life that must be fed if I do not want to fall into depression.

I have a strong attraction to color and scents, the touch of certain fabrics on my skin and even the sensation of my hair touching my face and must have soft skin free from the feel of body hair particularly razor stubble after shaving, I do not like the hard feel of my chest but the softness of breasts which have no erotic appeal to me at all but soften the angles of my body that I experience as unnatural. I do not think about trying to look like a woman, I look like a woman because of the demands that my senses impose on me that need expression that take on the form of a woman so for me I backed into being a woman instead of pursing it as a conscious goal, I discovered GID by accident from trying to be happy through the expression of self that lead me to looking more and more like a woman.

So my list of little things are anything my senses need for me to be happy. Color on my toe nails, smooth skin, long hair, the touch of various fabrics, the amazing effects of makeup, the aesthetic appreciation and attraction of beautiful clothes that I than wish to wear, even the relationship to my penis is experienced as an aesthetic problem, I do not hate my genitals but I think they look ridiculous on me and would much prefer a smooth contour instead of something stuck on as an after thought by God so for me everything becomes learning how to feed the needs of my senses and aesthetic sensibilities.

[Aprilrain]

Nothing short of living my life as a woman stops the GD.

[CharleneT]

Work on #4 the most. You need to figure out where you are and where you need to be. There is no single answer for everyone on this question. Find the answer for you.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Two things are a must. the most important one is just accepting who you are, others will given time, & for some a lot ,
Think about 7 years , another reason for that,

Two, learn to grow, grow in to your self grow as a person first forget the male / female detail for now because if you dont grow in to your self itll make little difference wether your male or female.

Youll see that as you live your life, the problem is you may not see this because youll be so wraped up in your desire to be this woman who ever she may be, & allso along the way family will as you know have thier needs that must be met,

The reason i said 7 years, is because itll take about that long for your body to grow take shape both internaly & out side, how you think will all so be changes that will accure, a lot of detail will take place,

The most important bit is dont try & run youll fall many times & yes it can be hard youll have knock backs & getting up after a fall is some times a im failing . so prepare your self .

The fall is about the mental Psychological & Emotional aspects of who you are , before , now & after.

Now i could say it's a bed of rose's if you only look at the flower's i wont because the thorns dug deep in to myself & yes i lost a lot of blood.

When the thorns have been removed & the blood has been replaced then look ahead & do as i say , grow as to... who... you should be, & dont for get you will need help. dont try & do this by your self .

Nice to have a plan just remember it may change & the changes can be far better than what we think they should be,

Dont get so carried away that you dont stop & look about yourself because when you look back youll wish you smelled those rose's so take time out , & enjoy this ride, because its the only one youll get,

Enjoy every part of it yes even those parts that are tough, & hard & you think not worth a damm they are, because youll grow from this, & youll be a better person as well as you accept the all of it,

...noeleena...

[Julia_in_Pa]

Emmi,

From 2002 to 2006 I was literally running from myself to keep my GID under control.

I was a competitive ultra runner competing in mountain races in Montana, Wyoming and Colorado.
My first attempt at transitioning failed so I attempted to fill the void by running.
I was always a runner but due to GID I took it to extremes.

At my peak I was trail running an average of 55 miles a week in the mountains.

During this time I was also seeing a therapist.
Each week my therapist would ask me how many miles I ran for the week and if I had caught up to myself yet.
He said I was running from myself and eventually I would catch up to myself and it would all come tumbling down.
I did catch up to myself in the month of July of 2006.
It was not pretty.
No matter how far I ran I could not run GID.

This threw me into a very severe panic and I transitioned in December of that year.

Emmi, like me your GID will also catch up with you despite your best efforts to control it.
Attempting to compromise with it will buy you some time but how much time?



Julia

[Kristy_K]

Nothing short of living my life as a woman stops the GD.

That was nicely said April.

I totally agree with it.

I have no more GD problems now.