Hindsight is 20 20....... etc.

[Barbara Jo]

Being a CD since I was about 7 years old, at 64, I now realize that many of the life choices that I made were decided with CDing in mind, even if subconsciously.

Things like being happy at times when I lived alone that enabled me dress at will.
I have been married etc but they never knew about my CDing

I worked in a blue collor enviourment (now retired) and I could not feminise myself to much. I did pierce my ears though.

However I now find myself retired, living alone with no real friends as they all either died or moved away and have no family in the area. I now also find that I have trouble making friends for whatever reason(s).
So, now I can usualy dress at wiil.

My problem now is facial hair that needs heavy somewhat makeup to cover and looks unatural for the most part. Besides, I dislike heavy makup in general.
How I wish that I started electrolysis many years ago!
If I did, I would now spend many happy times out in publc as a female as I do have a feminine figure.
However, I can't due to my beard stuble and I find this very frustrating.

So, I now find myself living alone as a female for the most, part dressing in private sans makeup. My apartment is decorated in a rather feminine style as any single woman might. I now keep my legs, etc, shaved with minimal arm hair. I never had any chest hair etc.

Almost every evening can find me dressed in bra, panties, pantyhose, slip and a casual dress,/skirt, bouse etc. I sleep nighly as a female in my feminine bedroom.

Yes.... I really wish that I started electrolysis years ago !

Can anyone relate to this?

[sissystephanie]

I can relate somewhat to what you are experiencing. I have been CD'ing for well over 60 years, and was married for almost 50 years. My late wife knew that I was a CD when we married and fully accepted me "as is!" I have never had the facial hair problem you have. However, I do have another problem. My late wife always did my makeup and fixed my wig since I was no good at either one. When she died I thought my days of going out in public as Stephanie were completely gone. That was 7 yers ago. But I soon had a change of heart. I decided to go out dressed as Stephanie but looking like the guy that I am. Been doing that for almost 7 years, and have never had any problems!! I have been asked where I bought the skirt or dress that I was wearing and did I really like wearing those things! I always answer those questions very honestly. I dress enfemme because I love to wear feminine clothes!! And I am usually dressed enfemme from the skin out, including my bra! I have natural 40 B's so have no need of falsies!

If you use a very good razor, you should be able to get a clean shave that would last for a little while! Try it and get yourself out in public. Oh yes, I do sleep enfemme as you do!!

BTW, my ancestral homestead is about 45 miles from Buffalo to the southeast!

[paulaloha]

Hi Barbara, thanks for the post, this was actually very inspiring and thought provoking for me in a way.
I cannot relate too well to your particular life situation right now, mainly due to the fact that I am on the other end of the spectrum at only 22 years old myself.

But reading your thoughts have made me ask myself what I want the next 44 years to look like for me.
I have already started considering removing my facial hair as I simply don't like it, and it would be so nice to not have to worry about it all the time.
Other forms of slight feminization I have considered are getting my ears pierced, and plucking my eye brows. Also shaving most of my body on a regular basis. Now the society I'm entering into is growing more accepting of these things and my work environment doesn't frown upon it at all. I would almost say it encourages it in a way. So it made me look at myself and ask why I wouldn't want to be true to this part of myself and go for these things. I do not want to make it to 64 and to be realizing the same things you are. That my hind sight was 20 20 and I missed out on so many things I wanted to do in life.

I will say this though, my bathroom already looks more feminine than most guys you will find. I have lotions, shaving gels, women's razors, girly or gender neutral scented everything even a pink tooth brush. Even in my closet I'm starting to hang up some of my women's clothing and I have 2 drawers in my dresser for women's undergarments. Perhaps this will start overflowing into other area's of my apartment and decorations sometime soon...

Thanks again for the thought provoking post!
Paula

[Launa]

Yeah, I can relate to having real coarse facial hair and it sucks. I was getting ready to go out dressed for the first time in my life a few months ago. I went to a barber for a face shave and he said I had one of the toughest beards he has ever seen so I know what you mean but I have learned to shave my face just as good as he could. I do the 4 point directions on all sides of my face and pull on the skin as your doing it. That takes things right down to the wood, it took a lot of getting used to but it works the best for me.
I really like the thought of electrolysis too, I think I'm going to look into it.
Why can't you start now? I know its a lot of bucks....

[April_Ligeia]

Yes there are times I wish I had my chesy and back defoliated, but I won't now because I have extensive tattooing and don't want to mess it up. But, if I could get a 'do over...'

[Stephanie47]

I don't know if any of those anti aging facial creams work. I can shave close, and, probably get away without regrowing the facial hair for half a day, especially in dimly lit places. If I had the opportunity to go back and discipline myself using facial creams, maybe my skin would be softer. Anyway, there's not too much a guy or girl can do in their sixties. If I were single I'd shave my body hair. I remember when my grandmother was in her 80's she had distinctive stubble on her upper lip. Maybe, it will be easier to pass in fifteen years! :)