Amusing experience

[Sandra1746]

Cognitive dissonance in action.

I had an interesting and amusing experience today. I was in the men's restroom at the local Wegmans and was "sorta" dressed en-fem. I had on a pale green fem T-shirt, fem jeans, hoop earrings and a braided chain necklace, and regular running shoes. Obviously nothing really outrageous, mostly androgynous. I do have shoulder-length hair and was carrying my leather shoulder-purse. The purse strap does emphasize my natural breasts; I wear a crop-top for support and that also helps with definition.

While washing my hands the guy 2 sinks over glanced my way and muttered "am I in the wrong place"? He then went to the door to check to see the sign at the entrance said "men". I proceeded with my business and left without any further discussion or comment. It was all I could do to keep from laughing until I got to my truck.

I think I scrambled his brain.

More fun adventures,
Sandra1746

[RADER]

Thats is funny; I wondered if you where in the Ladies rest room and some one saw you?
Would you be trying to talk to Officer on why you where there?
Good for you.
Rader

[vivianann]

That is a funny story, However I never go to the mens restroom while I am dressed enfemme. I always use the womens restrooms, I am very careful and just do my business, and get out of there after I wash my hands. Lucky for us here in Colorado, the law is we are to use the restroom of the gender we are presenting as. When I travel outside of Colorado and I am dressed enfemme I use the womens restroom no matter what. I always sit down to pee, when I am in the ladies room so there will not be any problems. only common sense.

[thechic]

i had a similar thing happen to me before i came out of the closet.Was in a mens rest room at a educational facility a group of guys came in then shot out as quick as could be as i was washing my hands, then thay came back in and said "You shouldnt be in here, this is the mens, miss".It made me feel good.now i dont have that problem.

[Persephone]

Isn't that a wild, funny situation, Sandra? You're trapped with the feeling that you run the risk of being misread regardless of where you go, and you do have to go!

Dressed androgynously, very much as you describe, I've selected the men's room a couple of times, only to be told in no uncertain terms that I was in the wrong restroom. Not that they were attempting to harrass me for being a crossdresser but because I was genuinely thought to be female.

It usually begins just the way you describe. I'll be washing up, the door will open and a guy will begin to enter. Suddenly he'll stop, back up, look at the sign, re-enter, and proceed to tell me I'm in the wrong room. If I'm finished at the sink I sometimes just wrodlessley leave, if I haven't finished washing I will typically drop to my lowest pitched voice and say "I don't think so!"

It is one of the reasons I've stopped trying to be androgynous -- it just doesn't work. So now, if I'm in doubt as to my passing as a guy I will generally femme up just a tad and head for the women's restroom. Thankfully, I've never been challenged there.

Welcome to a new step along the way!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[mikiSJ]

While working Monday I was on the road and stopped in a Starbucks for a coffee. I had been on the road for an hour by then and needed to use the restroom, which was occupied.

Without any hesitation I used the ladies. I did get a strange look from the fella who was still patiently waiting for his turn in the "proper" restroom.

[Sandra1746]

Hi All,
Persephone; If I were dressed more fem, like with a 'frilly' blouse or a skirt then the women's room would be the best option. I'm afraid that as I was dressed yesterday the women's room would not be the best option and could lead to difficulties as noted by Rader. I don't need that sort of attention.

This adds to my curiosity of how humans identify gender. The hair and jewelry are obviously key items. I had no makeup on so that's not it. The purse is likely one; and then there's the breasts. I'm not obese so the breasts aren't the "typical" man-boobs; and they are visible.

The experience did make me wonder; if I "prettied up" a bit more, would I be able to pass relatively easily. Maybe something to consider for the future...

The journey continues,
Sandra1746

[STACY B]

Ya know what all this meens to me ? Looks like its time for you to switch rest rooms ,,Its only fair ,,,Use the one your compatable with ,,If ya getting ran out the mens ,, You must look like to much of a lady .

[crossdressersfriend GG]

I think you see what you expect to see? Like in a mens room you expect a manly person and when that person isn't then it must be a woman in the wrong place? When you're in the ladies room no one would question even a slightly feminine looking person, of course that's a woman, why else would they be in here? And there are plenty of manly looking women out there too, so in the ladies room you just never know??

And you all could sit to pee and easily blend in a stall but lets see a lady stand at a urinal! LOL

[katie_barns]

That is a funny story, However I never go to the Mens restroom while I am dressed enfemme. I always use the womens restrooms, I am very careful and just do my business, and get out of there after I wash my hands.

I'm never really am androgynous. Being bald I am in drab or enfemme. I almost always use the restroom of my gender appearance. I do use the unisex restroom or family restrooms when in I think it could cause a problem.

I did have one funny occurrence in a restroom. There was a woman there with 5 or 6 girls, probably anywhere from 4 at 8 years old. Even thought there were 3 or 4 stalls I had to wait. The women was having a hard time getting each girls outfits right before exiting the restroom. One of the little girls looked at me frustrated because she couldn't get the buttons on her bib-overalls buttoned. I asked the women if it was ok to help her. The women nodded and I bent over and helped the girl. The women thank me as they were leaving. I assumed that I passed or the women didn't care. That kind of made my day that the women trusted me.
Later I got to thinking that really could have turned out ugly if the women make me or freaked out. Despite the good experience, I tend to avoid those situations'

[Diane Elizabeth]

When I am out and about I use the restroom that I am dressed for. If there is a family or unisex restroom I make every effort to use that regardless of my attire. I never stand to pee even when in the mens room.

[Persephone]

Without any hesitation I used the ladies. I did get a strange look from the fella who was still patiently waiting for his turn in the "proper" restroom.

Good for you! I think Santa Monica, CA actually has a law that if three people are waiting in line for one restroom (usually the line is at the ladies' room) and the other restroom has no line, then it is "legal" to use the other restroom. No, I don't know how they enforce it.

Not too long ago I was out with my girl pack (the others are all GG's) and we stopped in a little restaurant for lunch. Since we all needed to go, we formed our own line at the door of the ladies' room. Each of the restrooms had only one toilet and the men's was unoccupied so some of the women, respoonding to an almost "dare you" type conversational bravado, started to use the men's room. The funny part was my realizing that I felt uncomfortable about myself doing that! Weird crazyness!

After a while, we'd all had pretty well finished up and the last of our women was in the men's room. A young boy came along and he clearly needed to go. those of us waiting in the hall suggested that he use the now unoccupied ladies' room, but no way he was going to do that!


Persephone; If I were dressed more fem, like with a 'frilly' blouse or a skirt then the women's room would be the best option. I'm afraid that as I was dressed yesterday the women's room would not be the best option and could lead to difficulties as noted by Rader. I don't need that sort of attention.

This adds to my curiosity of how humans identify gender. The hair and jewelry are obviously key items. I had no makeup on so that's not it. The purse is likely one; and then there's the breasts. I'm not obese so the breasts aren't the "typical" man-boobs; and they are visible.

I certainly do agree with Rader's concern about what could happen. And it is part of why I've generally given up androgeny. But if I am the least bit en femme, a pastel polo shirt, etc. and have my purse on my arm I never get a second glance in the ladies' room. Remember, as one of my friends is fond of saying, with my long hair, shaped brows, long polished acrylic nails, etc. I "leak" femme no matter how male I attempt to dress.

I think that what you mention, Sandra, is one of the most fascinating aspects of the whole thing. What clues do people use to decide gender? Hair? Features? Posture? Movements? Shape? Absolutely fascinating! Maybe we can start a thread and pool our knowledge on that one!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[StarrOfDelite]

This thread put me in mind of an old sociological experiment, I forget when or by what entity it was conducted. It was pretty simple, the scientists took the 'Men' sign off the existing male bathroom's door and put it on the existing female bathroom. Then they put a 'Gentlemen' sign on the male bathroom door. Not surprisingly the vast majority of American males confronted with this Hobson's Choice, decided to use the bathroom which was labeled 'Men.'

[Lorileah]

While washing my hands the guy 2 sinks over glanced my way and muttered "am I in the wrong place"?



I guess it depends..If he was there to relieve himself then probably not. If he was looking to buy tires. Most likely yes he was in the wrong place, since it is a food store. What did he decide?

[katie_barns]

I guess it depends..If he was there to relieve himself then probably not. If he was looking to buy tires. Most likely yes he was in the wrong place, since it is a food store. What did he decide?

I just had to pick myself up off the floor on that one. ROTFLMAO

[PretzelGirl]

I don't understand why they are all backing up to look at the sign on the door. Urinals = Men's Couches = Ladies

[Amber Chen]

When I am out and about I use the restroom that I am dressed for. If there is a family or unisex restroom I make every effort to use that regardless of my attire. I never stand to pee even when in the mens room.

Same here...I've never had any problem going to the ladie's when crossdressed...and, yes, I always sit to pee, even in the men's. Go to the facility that matches your presentation. Do your business & move on!

Good questions regarding how people 'read' your presentation...I'm thinking that it's the combination of factors: hair, jewelry, purse, boobs, voice, clothing.