Saw a sister today

[scarlett]

Anyone here from holbrook AZ or thereabouts? Saw you at MacDonalds. Love your hair.

[Beth Mays]

was'nt me (Tennessee) but have seen a sister out and always give a thumbs up

[STACY B]

It was me ,,, Thanx ,,Got it done just for you ,,, Should have come over an saw my new PLATFORMS ? Those babys look SWEET !

[Amber Chen]

oh, this brings up a question I've been wondering about for a while....if you DO spot ('read', 'clock') a sister in public, is it OK to tell her, and HOW do you do it?

I spotted a sister in the elevator at work going up to the electrologist, and she was VERY shy. I was the only other one in the elevator, but I didn't want to embarrass her either.

[Joanna41]

oh, this brings up a question I've been wondering about for a while....if you DO spot ('read', 'clock') a sister in public, is it OK to tell her, and HOW do you do it?

I spotted a sister in the elevator at work going up to the electrologist, and she was VERY shy. I was the only other one in the elevator, but I didn't want to embarrass her either.

That was the best you.could have done. I just go by my own rule that if your presenting as a woman that's how I will look at you. I'm just guessing here but I'm sure most would prefer not being pointed out if they are read weither or not your the only one in the elevator or any where else...

Joanna

[Tina B.]

I'm with Joanna, on this one, when I see a women out and about, I don't go up to her and start a conversation, it's just not done, a nod, a smile, and good day will do, you don't need to point out, YOUR NOT FOOLING ANYONE! Just leave the poor thing alone, she probably thinks she is passing unless you spoil the illusion for her. There is just no way to let her know you know, without telling her is does not really pass, even a guy will see through it. So just treat her like you would any other pretty girl you see in the mall, that's all! And now I will give back the soap box.
Tina B.

[Jenny Doolittle]

oh, this brings up a question I've been wondering about for a while....if you DO spot ('read', 'clock') a sister in public, is it OK to tell her, and HOW do you do it?

I spotted a sister in the elevator at work going up to the electrologist, and she was VERY shy. I was the only other one in the elevator, but I didn't want to embarrass her either.

I think the thing you do when seeing another person is the same as anyone, just say hello. I am a kind of out going person, and am not shy to acknowledge someone else or say something nice about their clothes or what ever. Everyone loves getting a compliment. Why do you feel obligated you have to mention that you know they are transgendered. If the topic comes up as your conversation continues, well, there is a new topic to maybe develope a friendship.

[Marleena]

I agree a quick pleasant smile is enough. Not being noticed and blending is what most of us are after. A non event is the best option here.:)

[Jessica S]

I saw one of us out and about in Royal Oak, MI on Wednesday. The person was walking a few feet in front of family and myself. My boys did not either notice (hard not to when you could hear her talk and she had larger frame) or cared. I was glad to see she had the courage to that I don't have. No one looked twice or said anything to her while was behind her and her friends.

[EllieOPKS]

I saw a sister at a gun shop, hind site is 20/20, I wish I would have spoken. I think in the future I would say hello followed by a compliment, unless they are holding an AR 15 rifle and tweaking the scope.

[crossdressersfriend GG]

oh, this brings up a question I've been wondering about for a while....if you DO spot ('read', 'clock') a sister in public, is it OK to tell her, and HOW do you do it?

I spotted a sister in the elevator at work going up to the electrologist, and she was VERY shy. I was the only other one in the elevator, but I didn't want to embarrass her either.

I shop all the time and I don't think I"ve ever run into anyone and if I did they passed and I never noticed, BUT if I do spot someone would you like a compliment or a hi how are you, or just keep shopping?

[Marleena]

I should just add here that trying to strike up a conversation with A TG girl might make her nervous since most of us struggle with a fem voice. It can make one self conscious or out them. Just MHO as always.

[JenniferR771]

Opportunity! Just say something! Anything! "What time do you have? Cute shoes? Love your hair?" If she turns out to be a GG you will not have blown up. Then--out yourself! "I have shoes almost like that!"

"I wish I knew how to get my hair to look that nice." "Where did you get it done?"

[Miriam-J]

Boost her confidence in her feminine role! Speak to her as you would any GG, but with extra acknowledgment of the positive points of her feminine expression. Jennifer's recommendations fit this well.

Miriam

[BillieJoEllen]

Jennifer! Great advice!

[JessHaust]

A few weekends ago, I was at a local theater with 4 other girls. At the end of the performance, I noticed a girl across the audience. I asked the other girls at the table if they thought she was one of us? She was very much passing, and it was only because we knew the clues to look for. They agreed and we all just smiled. Well she came right over to us and introduced herself. we all then had a very pleasant conversation. You never know who will be where, but I can tell you this, we are everywhere!

[STACY B]

All people are differnent ! So the only thing ya can do is say something nice an just hope your compatable with the person behind the clothes an makeup ? If you are then you may make a friend ,,But then again they might just want to be left alone ? Nothing to do with dressing ,,Maybe there just not socialable ? UNLIKE ME !!

[Wonderwho]

Because my world does not have a space for me to go out dressed, I am always frendly to all women and perhaps a bit of a flirt. I have meet 2 CDers in my time and all conversations have started with my expressing interest in their cloths, hair, shoes or just showing some respect for the people around me. I think that if we all showed more interest in others than we show for ourselves we would have a lot more casual, interesting meetings. Most people walk with their heads down and fearfull of their world. I always wear jewerly and most often heeled boots, I walk proud and with my head held high and will always say hello to anyone who will meet eye contact.
I respect those of you who go out dressed and would never press the issue but stand up and be proud of who you are or would like to be, I am proud of all of you!!!!


Stand before me child and I will teach you to be a man, first we must take away your ego, then we will teach you to be a woman for then and only then will you understand what the one trait you must have to be a real man is, compassion for all!


This is our world, let me share it with you!
Wonderwho

[Marleena]

Perhaps the safest way is to compliment her to break the ice rather than ask a question. That way she can nod... or open up if she is comfortable.:)

[Debglam]

I like the idea of a neutral compliment as nobody wants to be "read" even though 99.9% of us are. Funny story:

I'm on my first shopping expedition with Melissa Rose and we are eating lunch in the food court of the local mall. Young guy and girl (20's) are sitting across the court but the guy keeps making eye contact, girl turns around, that sort of thing. Eventually the guy gets up and walks up to our table. He stammers out that his girlfriend suggested he should come over, that he loves trans people, glad to see us out, etc. He is very bashful, is blushing and it is pretty clear that he is being honest and trying to be nice. (I'm thinking he may be a closeted sister, but. . .) However I am really getting nervous myself. First time out shopping dressed and now this guy and everyone around us is watching and listening to this little drama unfold. Any illusion I had of blending is gone. It was really no big deal and it was actually sweet that this guy wanted to say what he wanted to say but at that moment - not so much.

Deb

[Tara D. Rose]

I guess I have been lucky so to speak, I have seen several of us in the last two months. I pulled up at one of those large convenient stations where they have covered gas pumps and about 8 islands for gas. I pulled up to a pump and looked forward and a large SUV pulled directly in front of me facing me for her gas was to be pumped opposite from mine. So I sort of sat there waiting for a good song to end. I noticed she didn't get out immediatley. So I got out and was pumping my gas. She got out and started pumping hers. I could tell right away she was one of us. For it was a hot day, and she was wearing a dark brown sweater, boots, and held the strap of her purse very low as she pumped gas. She glanced at me several times and I would look away. She continued to look all around her close environment, like looking for danger or something, unlike I never see GG's do. I was convinced she was one of us and that maybe lives close by.
Another time I was walking into our local library and just when I got to the entrance, the automatic doors opened up and out walked a 6'2" woman that was of a large stature. And being the southern gentleman that I am, I said Hi , how are you?, She made eye contact and just nodded shyly at me. I stepped in the lobby turned and watched her walk to her car. I could tell there was no doubt she was one of us also by the walk and of the holding of the purse. I thought to myself, I wish I could go out like that and that all I would get would be glances,,, and not laughter and jeers or physically threatened.

[Bree-asaurus]

oh, this brings up a question I've been wondering about for a while....if you DO spot ('read', 'clock') a sister in public, is it OK to tell her, and HOW do you do it?

I spotted a sister in the elevator at work going up to the electrologist, and she was VERY shy. I was the only other one in the elevator, but I didn't want to embarrass her either.

This comes up from time to time. Some CDers are happy if you say hello, others are not.

One problem is that sometimes you can't tell if they are a CD or a TS. Usually, letting a transexual know that they've been outed is NOT a good idea. They're just trying to fit in like everyone else and don't want to be reminded that they are trans or that they don't pass.

Just smile or whatever you would do for any other person you see, that way you don't risk offending them, making them feel self conscious or ruining their day.

[DaniellaNYC]

If you see me out and you read me pls give me a smile and I promise to return it, and feel free to optionally/casually say hi. If you just stare, or not, and pretend you didn't read me it will just make it a bit uncomfortable :) My least favorite is the indirect 'omg that's a guy' :0

[Sheila11]

If you see me out and about please say Hi. The last time I ran into a CD while shopping she said Hi, we talked, went out for lunch, and have written each other since.

Please say Hi. I could always use another friend.

[Heather Daniels]

This comes up from time to time. Some CDers are happy if you say hello, others are not.

One problem is that sometimes you can't tell if they are a CD or a TS. Usually, letting a transexual know that they've been outed is NOT a good idea. They're just trying to fit in like everyone else and don't want to be reminded that they are trans or that they don't pass.

Just smile or whatever you would do for any other person you see, that way you don't risk offending them, making them feel self conscious or ruining their day.

Don't you think the CD is just trying to fit in also,.....or are TS girls special ?

[RachelOKC]

I have mixed feelings on this. Eehhhh, it just depends. I don't mind outing *myself* sometimes but I don't necessarily want someone to announce they clocked me either, I was annoyed by a badly dressed transperson who did that to me in Macys once...and whispered something conspiratorially like "It's nice to see another girl out and about." I wouldn't approach another TG I spot (not unusual in SF) although I'll smile if we make eye contact - as I'd do with just about anyone else.

Bit of a different story tho, I was out at Penny's a few weeks back and saw a dude shopping in the women's department. I checked him out and decided he was "family" since his mannerisms were pinging my T-dar with high confidence (I coulda been wrong, but I really don't think so). I didn't want to embarass him, but I wanted him to see me so I could smile at him and maybe break the ice. I kinda floated around him a few times, looking on some of the same racks but he never looked up once - if I don't see them, they don't see me I guess. I gave up after a few minutes and moved on. Bummer.

[rocketscientist]

I think the most difficult thing is trying to determine how comfortable the sister you just "clocked" is. If she appears nervous or fidgety, it would probably be best to let sleeping dogs lie. If she exudes confidence and is making eye contact with those around her and doesn't seem to mind her surroundings, a sincere compliment might open the door to a friendship. I'm not the most passable dresser out there for sure, but that isn't the end of the world for me either. Actually, quite the opposite. I do my best to present as a natal female, but I don't mind being "clocked". If all of us were totally passable, nobody would have any solid opinions of us because they wouldn't realize that we were actually cd's. I for one want to be seen and even read! I want people to appreciate the effort I put into my presentation and I want to show them that I am not any of the stereotypes they may believe all cd'ers are. If you see me out and about, I would love for you to give me a sincere compliment. See you at the mall, Tonya:battingeyelashes:

[Maria in heels]

If I see you out and about I will definately smile and say hello