is it sexual? THE RESULTS

[Sarahgurl371]

Thank you all for the responses! I was just trying to figure out if I am normal or not when it comes to CDing. When I read all these books and personal sites on the net, that insist that CDing isn't sexual, I feel like I must be a freak, cuz here are these "crossdresser" types telling me they they don't do it for sexual reasons. And I must admit, that I do feel sexual and sensual at different times when dressing. Its not always about sexual pleasure, it not always not about sexual pleasure either.

What I find interesting after reading this forum for several months, and I think, getting a perspective about some of the members, and my perspective is that they / we are very good people, nice people, and pretty honest people here on the forum and in life.

Now I look at the poll results, and
42% feel more sensual when dressed.:)
25% say its always about sexual pleasure.:D
17% say its mostly about sexual pleasure.:cool:
28% say its sometimes about sexual pleasure.:thumbsup:

Only 5% say its never about sexual pleasure, and 2% say that they don't feel more sensual when dressed.

So how many of the "crossdressers" in these books and personal sites are being truthful with us when they say crossdressing isn't about sex, or sexual pleasure, at least in part? And why wouldn't they be honest about it. I came out to my wife to quit lying or being deceptive, if you will. So why not be totally honest about what we think some of the motivations are behind CDing? Especially when writing a book or other information supposed to help CD's and those who love them.

I know myself, and I felt less than adequate after reading the "misinformation" in some of the books I have read. I am not accusing the authors of "lying" but I think they may have misrepresented a significant portion of the CD population. Just look at the poll results.

What say you????

I apologize if I offended anyone who responded to the poll! It is not my intention to divide us into even smaller and more demeaning lables, just a curiosity thing. OK?:)

[TGMarla]

The books you read may have a lot of misinformation in them, but I wouldn't put a whole lot of credence in an impromptu poll on this site, either. There are a whole lot of used car salesmen on this site as well. No offense meant to those of you who come in here and carry yourselves truthfully. But the rest of you....well, you know who you are.

[susandrea]

If it makes any difference to you, the research I've done for the past year indicates that CDing has many, many shades of grey to it-- rarely black and white-- and can change (and usually does) over time.

While it is comforting to feel normal, you can also celebrate your uniqueness of spirit knowing that there is no one exactly like you anywhere!:thumbsup:

[Alison Michelle]

Your right, even my clone, the used car salesmen is not exactly like me or wait, am I the clone?:lol2:

Being comfortable with your self seems to be a goal around here. I know I'm coming close with my self but I am not the same person as last week or the week before. No better or worse, just one more week of experiences to add in. I don't question why I dress now, way more than six, just happy to have the option.

Thank you for the results Tammy. I fit in to the % somewhere.

Gotta run, someone just walked on to the lot. Think I can unload this K car in the back tonight.:p

Hugs,

Alison

[Helen MC]

For the last 40 years since I first wore a pair of my big sister's white cotton schoolgirl knickers and later other female clothes I has always had a strong sexual aspect for me and I think always will.

I feel that the terms CD and TV, (which I consider to be different not identical) encompass quite a range of attitudes and activites.

As far as I am concerned I am a Fetishistic Cross-Dresser, that is I enjoy wearing female clothing and am sexually aroused by so doing, especially panties and have been wearing these 24/7 for 37 years now and for the 3 years before that only wore Boys Y Front underpants when I had no choice on the days I was forced to do PE and Games at school until the great day I was able to ditch that horrid subject when I was 15. As regards other female clothing I only dress at home, I wouldn't begin to pass as a woman outdoors. My Cross-Dressing is basically sexual in nature, although I also must say that I have always found panties far more comfortable than male underpants, even the modern "Unisex" slip type, I simply cannot imagine having to wear male underwear again and feel more relaxed at home wearing a skirt or dress rather than trousers, but also feel aroused when doing so.

To me a Transvestite is different and is more attuned to looking and behaving as much as possible like a genetic woman and going out en-femme and passing as woman is of great importance . How much sexual pleasure is derived from this as opposed to feeling at one with themselves in a female appearance and personna will depend on the individual. I would think that the proportions of sexual, emotional, psychological, and physical pleasures vary from person to person.

To illustrate my outlook, if fashions changed and it became acceptable for a man to wear a skirt in public here in England without adverse comment or hostile reactions then I would wear one with of course women's panties beneath but would not wear a padded bra or makeup outdoors . The closest I can get to this in the current culture is to wear a Scottish Kilt. The full TV of course would wish to wear not only the skirt or dress but all other female clothing , bra and breast forms , makeup etc and to pass as a woman as far as was possible, even being taken for and accepted as such by others not "in the know".

So for me Cross-Dressing is a primarily a sexual pleasure with a lot of comfort factor both physical and psychological , thrown in.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Well Tammy you've run into the politics of CDing. Back in the 1960s it was assumed that CDing was a sexual fetish. Virginia Prince, founder of Tri-Ess, did a lot to bring respectibility to CDing, but one way she did it was to claim that "respectable" CDing had absolutely nothing to do with sex -- and those nasty fetishic TVs. Which is a bit disingenuous on Prince's part, given her own dates with men and the quantity of femme fiction she wrote and published via her Chevalier Publications.

Unfortunately, a number of CD organizations and writers still take the "no sex please, we're transgendered" line to this day and Helen Boyd's excellent "My Husband Betty" is one of the few books to lay the sexuality issue out on the table. Unfortunately, it's a little too easy to miss Helen's disclaimers, so people (including myself upon first reading) often come away with the impression that Helen pictures an overly negative picture of some of the sexual problems that can accompany CDing. (In part it's just inherent in "support" books to focus on the problematic aspects of relationships.)

As others have said, the exact results of an impromptu poll here should be taken with a grain of salt, but there are other polls -- such as the 1999 Yvonne's Place survey (http://www.yvonnesplace.net/survey/survey99/survey99_results.htm) of nearly 1,200 crossdressers, plus a lot of other evidence -- that sexuality is a not infrequent component of CDing even among us "nice girls," although often it seems to decrease with age for unknown reasons.

[KatieZ]

I think a lot depends on the age and the level of self acceptance of the crossdresser.

When I was younger I would have put it was for sexual pleasure, but nowadays I accept my crossdressing and it is all about dressing pleasure and comfort.



Hugs

[Sarahgurl371]

Thank you all for the opinions and insight. When I finally admitted to myself that I was a CD or TV or whatever it is that I am, I was bound and determined to figure it all out. I bought several books, and My Husband Betty was one of them.(I was glad to read about the sexual component of CDDing in the book). Anyway, I have ALWAYS felt like the outsider. Didn't matter how I was dressed. And since especially in my younger days, there was a more prevailant sexual aspect to CDing, I always felt that I was one of those perverted men who get sexual excitment from womens clothes. I know now that I imposed what I thought society would think of me upon MYSELF. I did it. I didn't need anyone else to demean me, I was capable of doing a fine job all by myself.

So after reading all the information I could find, and seeing how REAL CDs don't get any sexual or sensual pleasure from it, again I felt like I was on the outside looking in, thinking - Gee I wish I was just one of those NORMAL CDs.

I guess my opinion of myself was pretty low for a long time. Thanks to you all and some counseling, I am starting to be OK with me. Oh, I still have days. Yesterday I changed my avitar, showing my face. I was so happy to have a decent pic of ME that I had to change it. Then all night, and most of today, I worried....what if? Just don't want to live like that anymore, I want to be comfortable in my own skin. Ya know?

I guess thats why I posted the poll. And I appreciate the answers and comments received! Just trying to figure this all out for myself. You'd think after 20+ years of CDing, I would know me. Guess I still have some work to do. Oh how I wish I could be like some of you here. The ones who are just completley comfortable with who they are. God Bless.

[Julie]

Tammy,

One thing you have to remember is, for the most part, CDers learn denial as a way of coping with something they cannot discuss with anyone. We live 'normal' lives because that's what we've been taught to do. We pack away that feminine part of us when with the mainstream public and in effect deny it even exists. That may be why more CDers come out later in life. We just don't give a damn who knows or we are sick and tired of hiding it. Still, we become masters of denial and can fool even ourselves. Maybe that's why we can answer polls in a way that improperly represent our true feelings. We don't know we are lying at the time.

I can say that CDing was very sexually exciting to me when I was younger. My first orgasm happened when dressed. Now, at 54, it's all about looking as good as I can but I rarely feel sexy or sensual when dressed. I buy clothes that the average GG would buy rather than clothes that I might find sexy. I like it most when I think I look like a GG. I also like compliments about how I look. But I almost never am sexually aroused by how I'm dressed. I think sexy clothes are for GGs. I can't compete and I don't want to even try. I love the real thing and that's what turns me on.

[KittyMuffin]

I guess I missed the boat to vote but I have to say it heightens me a little, but i have been dressing since I was old enough to walk (sneaking into my mom's room and trying stuff on) so obviously it couldn't have been sexual back then. It just felt right. For me, it's more emotional than anything else.

[renee k]

I agree with Julia's thoughts on this thread, I've been dressing since I can remember and contained it enough to raise a family. Now is the time for me to me. Early on while in puberty it was sexual. But now it's all about bringing out the female side to an extent to be passible in public. I've had many women help me along the way. Under gone electrolysis for several years and have been on hormones as well all in an effort to be female. But two things are always in the way, my children and my career. I feel the disruption, by having SRS would be to much. I owe my kids a father and I don't want to give up a very rewarding career. So I've taken my crossdressing as far as I can without being selfish to those I love dearly and a career I've been in since my early twenties. I only wish that if I have another shot at life on this planet that it be female.

[patrick180271]

On the few ocassions I have fully cross-dressed;ussually in mini-dress,wig,bra,thick tights(no pantyhose!!)and boots, that's how much it turns me on!

[Kimberly]

EVERYTHING is about sex when it comes down to base matters...

The continuation of our species.

[Christa]

Tammy,

Thanks for posting the results of your poll. It's always good to know you're not alone!

I also have a hard time de-coupling the sexual turn on from the joy of dressing. For me, the two go hand-in-hand.

I won't even begin to disect the bad puns in those last two sentences. Oy.

Thanks again!

Christa

[FionaAlexis]

Tammy,

The poll results are very interesting but I think you can read too much into them, particularly if you lump together the 'sensual' and 'sometimes' options, to arrive at a conclusion. My guess is that most human beings feel 'sensual' in some form of clothing at some point.

I do agree, however, that many CDs/TVs feel the need to sanitise the truth about their activities and link it some 'higher' need than simply sexual - or to ignore their sexual beginnings. For many it is the truth that the sexual component is relatively minor. And I'm only talking about the 'autoerotic' aspect not any desire to have sex with others while dressed.

I ran a poll elsewhere on 'what age you first knew you were TG?' - and highest percentage by far was in the pre-puberty ages. Admittedly I'm not a psychologist but logic suggests that, while some sexual component may intervene later, it was not seed of dressing.

Why do we lie? I do think this goes back to the roots of trannydom and someone has mentioned Virginia Prince - and this flawed ethos flowed through to the Beaumont Society in the UK - and to Seahorse in Australia. It also seems to me that as we progress through life and, maybe, through the TG spectrum, our memories are massaged to fit where we now are. There are few late onset transexuals who wouldn't say they have struggled for all of their lives to come to terms with their condition - yet often you find they have lived quite successfully and, presumably not unhappily, as males for long periods. I have.

So what is truth? It's what you interpret it to be to fit your current state.

Fiona xx

[HaleyPink2000]

It's always about how sensual it makes me feel. Makes me feel younger, pretty, confident, more fun to be around and much more.

How do I explain it. Girls just want to have fun!
LOLOL

Haley:)

[Charlene Marie]

Tammy, For me there is a very strong sexual component to my cross dressing. Especially when I am pleased with my look and hair and make-up I usually get extremely turned on. It's a wonderful feeling for me, and I have detailed flights of fantasy. The ultimate would be to be able to share these feelings with my wife, but I know that will never happen. I feel lucky to be able to feel so good about this thing I have.It's usually a wonderful escape for me. I've never denied the feelings and I've never felt bad because I have them.

[connie rotten]

Is it or is it not sexual to me is what matters. If it is , or if it isn't sexual to another crossdresser what do I care .
An MSN sight put out a lot of polls last summer most of the t-girls and crossdressers told the experts where to go for trying to pidgon hole us.
I think we might be as varried as the vast selection of womens clothing that is out there to be worn for a sexual thrill or not.
A passing thought: what we chose to dress in may be a clue to if it is or if it ain't sexual .:gorgeous:

[Clare]

... it's all about looking as good as I can but I rarely feel sexy or sensual when dressed. I buy clothes that the average GG would buy rather than clothes that I might find sexy. I like it most when I think I look like a GG. I also like compliments about how I look. But I almost never am sexually aroused by how I'm dressed. I think sexy clothes are for GGs. I can't compete and I don't want to even try. I love the real thing and that's what turns me on.
I pretty much agree with Julie on this.

I have never been a crossdresser for the sake of a sexual thrill. My crossdressing is totally based on my desire to have the appearance and perhaps the sensuality of a real woman, although It's been a lifelong journey which continues to this day.

The ONLY time that crossdressing 'excited' me was in my early/mid 20's when I didn't have an SO and my sexual urges were strong. If I happened to be wearing something that got me aroused, well you can figure it out. But this only happened because of a (mainly) physical need at the time. Even back then, I was already a long time crossdresser where erotic clothing was not the catalyst for sexual release - it just didn't influence my origional desire to crossdress at all! Today, there is no sexual component to my XDR'ing in any form.