Do your friends treat you differently?

[Brittany CD]

In a couple weeks I'll be coming out to my friends about my crossdressing because I now know they don't have a problem with crossdressers and I'm hoping that I can become Katie while hanging with them. What I was wondering is if your friends treat you a bit differently when you become a girl (treat you like a girl, call you buy your girl name, etc.) or if they treat you the same way.

Thanks
Katie

[Cassi3]

I'll be honest and say, that sometimes friends seem to be open minded about how their friends choose to live their lives. I only have one friend that either calls me by Cassie or my birth name depending on how I'm dressed, otherwise he treats me as always, with respect, kindness and a friends unconditional love. The rest of my friends have gone from my life.

[Cynthia Anne]

My answer is NO! But it's a great way to find out 'WHO your freinds are'! Hugs!

[DAVIDA]

No, my friends don't treat me any different.:)
I wouldn't want them to. I am not a woman.:heehee:

[MarcyRex]

One of my friends, back in the service discovered my secret, during an ambush wrestling match he initiated. I was underdressed. He was sure shocked and broke contact very quickly. He kept his distance and silence. Recently, via FB he remade contact. Not a matter of topic but friendship has resumed and he "friended" another of our former shipmates who is "Out and Proud" and a bit of an advocate. So maybe he matured, maybe I was the first "contact".

[Courtney_Glenn]

.....But it's a great way to find out 'WHO your freinds are...

Very true. I came out about this last year. I didn't loose any friends over it, but some people act kinda iffy around me.

none of my friends care, they come over to play Xbox and I'm dressed sometimes and they do not care.

they just walk in and it's like,

Me: "Sup bro"
Friend: "Sup.......sis?"
Me: "ha ha, no dude, bro's fine"
Friend: "ha ha, fair enough"

[Shannon C.]

I have recently come out to a few of my close friends and family about this side of me. Of the people that I have told they do not treat me any differently, but I have not been in their presence as Shannon and maybe when that day comes they will act differently. I really doubt it though since they have not taken this revelation about me negatively. Your true friends will support you no matter what. I hope that as I reveal who I am to more of my friends that the reactions will be the same.

[noeleena]

Hi,

I have more real friends now over the last 8 years than any time in my 64 years of, & those i have known over 54 years are just the same with me , how they knew & saw me in some ways is very different so yes im different & yes im treated differently, because im a woman they did not or percive that i was , & they accepted who i am ,

...noeleena....

[rebekkadg]

I've come out to a number of family members and a few friends now over the course of the last few months and so far no one has treated me any differently. Of course only two of all those have actually seen me in fem---my wife and one sister. Of those who have seen me dressed I have gotten no different treatment.

[Julia_in_Pa]

The question is why would your friends not treat you differently.


Julia

[Diane Elizabeth]

As I tell my co workers - I have no friends (at work) just acquaintenanes (sic). I may talk about life happenings, but I don't see them outside of work. Travel in different circles I guess. Are they friends if you only see them in one aspect of your life. If you have some buddies that you go out and hit the clubs with, but don't see them at any other time in your life. Are they friends. To me, a friend is in more than one dimension of your life. This summer when I come all the way out I will find out if my "friends" are real friends or not. Maybe those acquaintenances will become friends in the end.

[Sara Jessica]

What is your motivation in telling your friends? Simply to be able to hang out with them in girl mode or are you going further down the transition path (where disclosure is pretty much a must)? Regardless, while it may be true that such disclosures can go far to tell one who their true friends are, is that a chance you are willing to take? Are you prepared to lose some or all of them along with the social ramifications of this genie being let out of the bottle, never to go back inside?

[JessHaust]

My friends all treat me as I am dressed, so drab mode they call me by my male name, en femme they call me and treat me as Jess. In all fairness there is such a hugh difference in appearance between the modes. I think it actually helps them cope with the difference. What is most fun is my son-in-law to be, when I'm in guy mode and talking with him and anyone else about my girl mode, he gets pronouns mixed up, then gets embarrassed! It's cute to watch.

[Foxglove]

To be honest, I'd hope that my friends would treat me differently if I came out to them--e.g., the guy who once gave me a more or less friendly boot in the arse.

If you mean, would they treat you with just as much respect as before, then obviously you'd want that. But when I'm in girl-mode, I'd certainly hope to be treated differently. Not out to anybody as yet, so it remains to be seen.

Best of luck to you, Katie.

Annabelle

[shawnsheila]

I haven't come out to all my friends (just a select few) and the ones that do know don't care... actually the funny part is that one of their girl friends wants to help teach me how to do my makeup, which always make me feel like I have good friends :)

[Foxglove]

. . . actually the funny part is that one of their girl friends wants to help teach me how to do my makeup. . .

I could use a friend with a girlfriend like that.

[JoanAz]

My Old Computer died, and a GOOD Friend took out the Hard drive and transfered the information to My NEW machine. When he down loaded the Photo section He put my pictures in Albums, he has not had a comment on "Joan", we Water Ski together and see'd the fact that I have no hair below the neck and have a 10in Pony tail..
(((HUGGS)))

[Bree-asaurus]

I'm transexual, not a crossdresser, but all my friends treat me the same because I'm still the same person. They just call me by my new name, and use female pronouns.

I haven't lost a single friend, and all my friends were able to grasp the situation pretty easily.

[sierra_g]

My SO and I have a couples friend that is a basher. Anything out of sorts, like guys acting "fem" or "gay", he gets angry about. He is very closed minded. I would love to say he is hiding a secret, but no. Very much straight, but needs his world to be straight. If he found out, I am quite certain he would walk away or possibly get physical.
We would stop hanging out with him, but the true friendship is between my wife and his.

Also, my mom is very closed minded and conservative. She got cat called by a lesbian the other night and it literally ruined her entire night. She went home immediately and was seething with anger.

Everyone else in my life will be very ok with it, I think. I hope.

[Kate Simmons]

Why should they Hon? I'm still the same person basically just more glitter.:)

[Karinsamatha]

On Thursday of last week I came out as transsexual to my best friend. I am waiting to see what happens after they digest what I told them. It is my hope and wish that they will accept me. As they say time will tell.

[Persephone]

I'm very out-and-about and so we've come out to most of our local friends because it is very possible that they will encounter me someplace in girl mode and since I'm usually with my spouse they'd notice me.

Most all have been just fine. The funniest one is one of my best guy friends that I share many macho activities with, shooting, etc. I was terrified of telling him, but our good relationship has continued. His first comment was, "But we're still friends, right?"

He had expressed the hope that we would never run into each other when I was en femme and I agreed. But as it turns out, he has run into me en femme. The wildest situation is about to occur this week. As it turns out, he's hosting a business dinner at the same place I'm hostessing a Girls Night Out with a group of GG's including his sister!. He's aware of it and thinks it is pretty funny. Guess we'll see what happens.

Like Sierra_G we have one couple we're friends with and the guy gets very upset about anything alternative. They live quite a ways from us and aren't likely to ever run into me en femme, so we haven't told them, although I do often tell him that I think his knee-jerk judgements are wrong. He's a big bear of a guy but really a pussycat on the inside and the funny thing is he has recently told me he's been diagnosed as low in testosterone!

Some folks are not as happy about knowing as others, but most have adjusted.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Chickhe]

It all depends what your motivation is. It will obviously change something...so the question to ask is, are you looking for everything to stay the same while you dress (which it won't) or do you just want to be comfortable and be treated differently? Think of like this... if you decided to grow an afro, while all of your friends were really in to chrome domes you are going to be the odd one out and you won't get invited to the bald events. My guess is, if its not an immediate rejection or embrace, you will have subtle changes that might be harder to deal with. Or something like that...