How are we doing?

[Kate Simmons]

Many of us enjoy expressing our feminine and womanly ways as it is part of who we are. Although usually deemed "unnatural" by society the feelings seem perfectly natural for many of us. In that respect I'm kind of throwing the question out there: "How are we doing?" How do we think we are doing with regard to being an individual, interfacing with others (especially families and SO's) and interacting with the TG community and society at large? It's pretty much a "given" that we will be who we will be and do what we want to do regardless of how the majority reacts or thinks. It takes courage to stick up for what we believe and many are trail blazers in that respect.

I believe in many cases others simply respect us for who we are but there is definitely a lot of work to do in that respect. I think a lot of it is just simply acting as a regular person and a lot of times that is how other folks will look at us if we don't over blow the issue. The only real way to know sometimes is to test out the waters on a personal basis. That is where real courage and resolve come to bear.

Just bear in mind that most successful people don't ask permission of others to be who they are. They are either accepted or not. In any case respect must be earned by positive actions whether we be hetero, gay, Bi, TG or the Man in the Moon. It's mostly up to us and as I've said before we make a name for ourselves by what we say, what we do and our intentions. So, how do you think we are doing with this?:)

[Cynthia Anne]

I agree completly with what you are saying! With that in mine, I think we are doing great! If politics had our 'courage' it would be a better world! Hugs!

[RADER]

You ask a very interesting Question.
In the community we revolve in, I think we are doing great. We help one another
gain confidence in being what we want to be; a simple Cross Dresses, or the
person going for the whole transition into being a Women.

Where I wish we could expand our reach is to the society at large that puts restrictions
on a Male wearing a dress. Yes I know that women wear mens clothes all the time,
But that is accepted in society. It is the reverse that in some places can get you
arrested.
You are correct in saying that it takes real courage to don a dress, heals and a wig,
and go out into society dressed as a female. My self I have yet been able to muster up the
courage to do just that.
At work, (Construction) I would be required to go on to very high places, and walk on very
small pathways; I am not an unbrave person. However the thought of being found outside
of my "Closet" wearing female clothes would be liking to falling off the Empire State Building.

I wish society would louse the stereo-types of todays fashion world; IE. men in pants only.
OK it was my $0.02 cents worth.
Rader

[Kate Simmons]

I appreciate your thoughts and comments Rader. It's interesting to note that men in pants is a fairly recent thing in human history. Back in Roman and Greek times everyone wore dresses or robes although I suppose certain robes were designed for certain people in view of gender, social status, etc. The funny thing is that no one looked down on anyone else as everyone was doing it. Go back even further to ancient Egypt and both men and women wore robes, jewelery and makeup and sometimes fragrances.

We tend to fool ourselves or rather program ourselves to cow tow to what the ruling elite deems to be fit and proper but we actually diss our own self expression when we allow that. No wonder there are so many emotional conflicts. It starts with us my friend as if we don't do it no one else will and that is really true liberation.:)

[kimdl93]

Kate, from my experiences and those I've witnessed here, I would have to say we are doing pretty well. Yes, there are many individuals with sad, even tragic stories, but I'm impressed by the number of us who have successfully crossed all sorts of boundaries with our families, friends and neighbors.

My feeling is that before one ventures out of the closet we need to have our heads together...deal with the emotional and relationship issues before taking on the world as a transgendered person.

[RADER]

Kate;
If we could get the fashion designers to change mens apparel, and show them that they
could make real money doing it. It might just happen.
Like you said, in old times, robes where worn by all. So now the fashion makers have
to change the world back from the future to the past. LOL I wish.
Rader

[Tina B.]

As a group, we are doing a lot better than 20 years ago, that's for sure. Rader, a few fashion designers have tried, I remember years ago, seeing men modeling skirts on Phil Donahue's old show, and some of the bigger department stores where going to put them out, and no one bought or would wear them, so it died again. It has been tried a couple times since, and still no real numbers taking it up. If men won't (or don't want to) wear skirts made for men, how can you expect them to accept wearing one made for a women. As long as we celebrate the differences in gender, and men consider women to be the weaker sex (which is silly), men are not going to accept men giving up the dominating position, to act like the "weaker sex", it's just not manly, and as long as that is important to them, it will not change, the change has to be how we deal with it, because you just can't change others, they have to change themselves. Or as the old saying goes, " You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."
Tina B.

[Sarah Doepner]

One of the most important first steps is to develop a sense of community. If we feel that we are alone and isolated we either are afraid or if we are not, there is no one to share our success with. We are doing that here, at the various conventions and vacations, through local support groups and even in the media on occasion. It is a very slow process and it will take a long time, but some of the stereotypes are in danger being replaced with realistic views of crossdressing. I would say I'm in a better place than I was 20 years ago, and part of the reason for that is I have a community of sisters now.

[GBJoker]

Interacting with individuals... The TG community (and close relations)... And universal society...

I think on the individual level, we might be getting some where. On the second one, from my perspective, we seem to be absolutely determined to take two steps backwards for every one step forward. And on the third, we are moving at the same pace as all the other demographic groups. (Remember, it took over 200 years from the first American women to desire equal rights as men... Couldn't even vote until 1920. Yes, that recently.)

[Kate Simmons]

Sounds like a good platform to work from GB, equal rights for TG folks. Now how to do it without becoming too much of an activist, that's the tough part. I prefer winning folks over rather than trying to jam it down their throats. I think just being ourselves may take longer but is more long lasting. The day will come when they won't give us a second thought, that's my prediction.:)

[GBJoker]

It's the standard platform, KS. The problem is in the second part of my response. (Maybe missed, since you might have been replying when I edited...)

I also prefer a gradual shift over time, and if some people want fits and starts, that's fine too. But it's all for naught when the TG community is fractured beyond repair, and various groups have propped up opposing each other. This has already happened, and is continuing to occur.

[KellyJameson]

The world has a long way to go before there is universal tolerance and respect but for those who want to see humanity succeed and not fall into the dust bin of failed evolutionary by products there is no alternative and as our numbers increase placing greater stress on each individual this need will only increase because external stress and internal fear always feed on each other.

Every moment of every life sends ripples of influence outward and we can only guess at the effect or consequences of our behavior.

I believe there is a fear each person carries inside and this is the fear of others that are different and the only way to overcome this fear is to be different and not to conform for safety and automatic inclusion into society.

I crossdress primarily to avoid psychological pain and consider any enjoyment I derive from it as icing on the cake and it is a relief that most crossdress because they find it pleasurable.

I see men who crossdress as warriors who inadvertently are increasing the chances for humanities survival because they challenge people to look inside themselves and question dangerous ideas of conformity helping others to move beyond their own fears. Crossdressers are the Jimmy Stewart of " It's A Wonderful Life" and only in their absence would their contributions ever have been known.

All individuals that have stood against established social norms that were built out of fear have paid for being different but only by doing this will human beings evolve beyond instinctual fears.

There are powerful reasons men have been controlled individually since the beginning of time forcing them into narrowly defined roles and emotional expression. Society expects men to be aggressive but not to aggressive while simultanously wanting them to be passive but not to passive so men must walk a very narrow path that is opposite what it means to be human.

Men are hated and feared if they appear passive and they are hated and feared if they appear aggressive but aggression if a choice must be made between the two is more acceptable because you never know when you may need to turn a man into a weapon.

Crossdressing is stereotypically viewed as done by passive men even though they are not necessarily passive because femininity is viewed as weakness so men are trapped by the same patriarchal system women are. When you crossdress you actually help those who have and are oppressed by patriarchy.

Crossdressing is also viewed as acts by sex crazed lunatics indulging their perversion and while sex may be an element for some the greater truth is not acknowledged. Sex like water is a necessary part of life that is woven into practically every human behavior and expression and is inescapable and there are many ways sex may do harm far greater than what clothes a person wears.

Crossdressing is an act of war and in war there will be casualties and this war is far from over because it confronts peoples fears and the wants born from those fears on many different levels. I'm pessimistically optimistic but my idealistic nature believes in people and our ability to transcend the collective primitive fears we have inherited from our ancestors, time will tell.

[Kate Simmons]

Well Kelly, In my case I say bring it on because at this point I absolutely have nothing to lose nor do I have anything to prove to anyone. There is not much more they can do to me and if they do do something to me, it's a win win situation for me and a lose lose situation for them. If my body ceases to exist, I go on and the status quo will do nothing but improve from that point onward. How can I be so confident? Because I know who I am, what my purpose is and where I am going. I have no doubt and have no fear as I turn potential fear into something positive that will work for me. I'm nothing special, however, anyone can do this if they look inside and make it real. Works for me.;):)