Protecting yourself when going out

[emmicd]

As a transgender individual what actions do you take to protct yourself when going out? It is a very real threat we all face being different and it can be scary. How many TG girls know karate or other martial arts to protect themselves from possible confrontations? When you do go out how do you enjoy yourself without constantly looking over your shoulder? Do you go out with other people, TG or not or do you go it alone?
If you go it alone how do you get the nerve to do it and where do you usually go.

If you are still with a male voice how do you converse with others when you go out dressed in womens clothes?

emmi

[Simply Joslyn]

I haven't gone out yet but I'm planning on it soon, I plan to bring my big arse knife just in case, but I'm tall enough and well build enough to twist most guys heads off so I think I'll be fine, but I would never go out alone atleast not yet, power in numbers as they say, as far as the voice I've been trying to create a female voice with exercises but i think my voice is soft enough to pass for now as long as I keep it under check

[Persephone]

A great topic, Emmi!

From what I've seen, CD's just don't develop the street smarts that most of our GG sisters acquired in childhood. You constantly see posts about going out for walks late at night alone in empty shopping centers, stuff like that. Do you think any GG woman in her right mind would do something like that???

I was talking with a GG a couple of nights ago, for example, and she was doing some late nights at a local college. She said that before she leaves the building she calls security for an escort, something they are generally happy to provide.

So the major safety tip is BEHAVE LIKE A GG WOMAN, NOT LIKE A CROSSDRESSER!

A quick Google search for "Women Safety Tips" (without the quotes) will yield hundreds of suggestions. Click here (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/HealthyWoman/story?id=125859&page=1) for an example.

Hugs,
Persephone.

(No particular personal endorsement of the particular tips on the indicated website is expressed nor implied. The author is not responsible for the consequences of any actions consistent with these tips or otherwise).

[NathalieX66]

I own no weapons, that means neither pepper spray or firearms.....just the consensus (hopefully) of the crowd I live amongst.
I've been everywhere, including movie theatres full of little kids & teenagers have treated me just fine. I can't complain.

Manhattan NYC does not care what you are. NJ suburb people think I'm l'm part of this oh-so-free world of NY City, and they treat me fine. I've had no problem shopping the malls en femme on the west side of the Hudson river, and all is cool.

[Missy]

I just go out with friends or with my wife or by myself as always I am just myself relaxed and having fun doing what ever it is I find myself doing
the moment that I start getting self aware of if others are looking then I get very uncomfortable and feel that others pick up on it.
so I just be myself
two things that did happen while dressed and out 1 was been in car wreck and too to er had bra and shirt destroyed by er person second mean dog attacked my dog and cops shoot and kill mean dog other then that nothing bad happened while dressed and out. been doing this since I was in grade school and now that's been about over 42 years.
have fun and enjoy life and stop looking over shoulder you will miss out on what in front of you lol

[Eryn]

I think that the ideas about being aware of your surroundings are spot-on. No GG would walk down that proverbial dark alleyway and neither should we. Stick with places that offer safety, avoid those where Bad People might be.

I'm not overly concerned about my personal safety when out dressed. Crooks like unaware, defenseless, lone victims and few of them would attack a 6'2" person who is with a companion and surveys her surroundings. I'm usually more concerned about my possessions and I tend to turn my bag flap-inward and wear it cross-body if I'm somewhere where it might be picked or snatched.

I'm not a fan of going about armed. Unless you keep your weapon in your hand at all times you won't have a chance to use it against an attacker. Frankly, if I have to walk about with a weapon in my hand I'd just as soon not be out at all.

[ArleneRaquel]

About seven year ago I was returning from a date via The Chicago Transit Authority at about 2AM. I alighted the bus and started walking the 2 blocks to my house, at about the one half block milestone I noticed a police car slowly following me, when I reached home the squad car parked in front of my house and stayed there for about 10 minutes, after that time the police drove away. I was never so scared while enfemme in my whole life. That was the last time I came home enfemme late at night not I was in a cab, or was driven home by a date or CD friend.

[Shananigans]

What I was told from day 1 is to be aware of my surroundings at ALL times. This took some practice...because, you can't just suddenly become aware of your surroundings once you are actually in a sticky situation. My grandfather and dad were always testing me and giving me tips. I was their only daughter/granddaughter. I wasn't really sure how well I was applying it...but, during my first chemistry labs, the professor tested me. He allowed everyone to walk into the classroom, sit, and we were all talking to each other for a couple minutes. He introduced himself and then asked everyone to close their eyes and point to the eye wash station, the fire extinguisher, and the emergency shower. It was a test on how well we were aware of our surroundings.

I nailed that test.

I do carry an arsenal of somewhat obvious weapons and not-so obvious weapons. I have wasp spray (better than pepper spray because it is more accurate and it blinds the person until they get to the hospital for the antidote), I have monkey balls (lead balls on a rope that are good for carrying), and a debit card with the corner cut and filed sharp. I learned the debit card trick from a personal defense guy at my college...and, he also told me to carry a metal pen.

But, that has helped me a lot in life. I am aware of everyone around me...and, I have things if I need them for help. Though, when I had to defend myself, I had no weapons at the time. I guess that's probably why going through my purse would make you think I am an assassin.

I was also told to practice noticing escape routes when I was out. So, sometimes, when I am out strolling along, I will think about what would be the best route to take.

I also heard some good advice that if someone were trying to mug you, to just throw your wallet. And, if someone has a gun to you and is trying to direct you somewhere, say, "I think I am about to faint." Then, pretty much faint. Go completely limp right then and there. Relax every single muscle. Dead weight is very, very hard to carry. You won't be moved from your situation. The whole bit that you are now unconscious and not wanting to walk where he wanted you to go is probably going to throw the whole thing. But, if you have access quickly to your sharpened debit card, one thrust across the throat is deadly if the situation progresses further. And, it's a nice little thin piece of plastic that you can stick virtually in all outfits. (I do not use my active card).

Before going to your car, have your keys ready in your hand. When I was working late in retail, I would have my keys ready in my hand and I would thread the keys through my fingers. They basically turned into make-shift spiked knuckles. I learned this trick in a defense class too. Be aware of the car beside you and the area around your car.

But, my best advice has been to be aware of your surroundings and the people that are in it. Am I paranoid, or in fear? Nah. I am actually pretty damn confident that if someone were to mess with me, I would put up a pretty good fight. Maybe more than they had bargained for. I get nervous about certain places and people because I am smart. However, it hasn't stopped me from really going anywhere. I think the weapons are mainly another confidence boost. They may prove helpful, or they might not. If you break into my house though....yeah...they will be extremely helpful. They work if they make you feel confidant and like you are in control of the situation. The people that want to mess with you are aiming at people that seem vulnerable and out of control of the situation. So, I am always in control of my situation, and I am aware of the people around me. You can also see it as I am not just protecting myself....but, I am protecting people around me. Why am I always the pack leader on girl's night? Why am I always made Alpha B*tch, lol? Probably because I have recognized that I have enough sense of what is going on with myself that my friends like going out with me.

I am also somewhat of a survivalist. I have a huge girl crush on Les Stroud...he's my f*cking soulmate. ANYWAY....he's beautiful...perfect. AAAAAAH But, yes, anyway, I recommend Les. Some of his survival tips are radical, but they are also really quite practical and I use them quite frequently when camping. I happen to be one of those girls that spends a week in a tent in the Smoky Mountains, wearing khahki shorts, camisoles, and various hats. And, THEN, go party in a cocktail dress a few days latter ;) But, being out on the land with my family, and watching Les Stroud takes person safety up a few more pegs. Things that you learn change, you learn to adapt to different environments, and to become acutely aware of what is occurring around you. It's almost like you feel very plugged in to everything.

Currently, my most lethal poison is learning Muay Thai.

http://static.fjcdn.com/comments/Les+_014cfb5d9b9123bb502de78848b88b19.jpg

[KellyJameson]

I never go clubbing alone and the clubs I go to are LGBT friendly and I always keep a close eye on my drink making sure no one is able to put something into it.

I avoid areas where being called a redneck is considered a compliment.

In general if you dress conservatively and stylishly people will compliment or ignore you.

The idea of me defending myself in a fight is beyond my comprehension, I have never struck another human being and doubt I ever could so if they catch me I'm toast so I rely on a healthy dose of paranoia to keep me safe.

If you want to keep conversation to a minimum hold your throat and in a soft whisper apologize for whispering due to your laryngitis while exhaling the vapors of a cough lozenge in their direction, works everytime and either they will stop talking or do all the talking. Think of yourself as an actress on stage performing when you go out, a little bit of deception is OK until you overcome your nervousness and develop your skills. This also allows a wrap around your throat if you have a Adams Apple that is noticable.

I do not recommend shopping in large malls at first but individual stores where teenagers are less likely to hang out.

I grew up in Studio City, Ca. a stones throw from the Queen Mary so anything goes in the Valley but if your town is not this way consider joining a local TG group. Friends make all the difference in the world because there is safety in numbers until you reach your own comfort level and you will be with people who have been there and remember how hard it was so are likely to be sympathetic.

Your proximty to Provincetown, Mass. may allow you to attend the Fantasia Fair, If you want to feel safe the first time you go out in public that may be the perfect venue for you, but it is like Mardi Gras lots and lots of people which I find stressful.

[faltenrock]

I never had any problem when out en femme, but I walk with very open eyes and an eye for safety.

[Brittany CD]

I've never thought of that. I guess since I'm a guy I have never had to worry about confrontations, but I can hold my own pretty well. But if I ever go out I'll be careful

[thechic]

I never have had any problems,but i do often go out with others sometimes the wife,or GG,work mates or the kids,dont often go out alone.

[LeannL]

Emmi,
I am not quite sure how to answer your question since I don't know if you are asking from the perspective of someone who passes or not. Lately, much to my surprise, I have been passing with ever greater frequency (when I was asked lately for my ID when I made a credit card purchase, the SA was blown away that I was male.) So I have been taking the approach that a woman in the world would take. I am very vigilant. I keep my eyes and ears open and avoid iffy situations. that doesn't mean that I will not run into problems.

About two months ago, I was in New York City visiting the MOMA. When I got off of the subway, a young man came up next to me and told me that I was looking pretty. I didn't say a thing. He stayed next to me for a while and then, at a fork in the tunnels, headed one way and I, luckily, need to go the other. Much to my chagrin, he doubled back. He continued to say things in a low voice to me which I ignored. With my quickened pace, my goal was to find a police officer. Finally, I used a group of slow walking people to set a "pick" on him and he left. It was a lesson well taken. Always be on the lookout and always plot your route of escape. Know where others who can help you are and use that to either scare someone away or actually get the help.

WRT your other questions, I do go it alone. I go anywhere I want to go but I don't go into any "dangerous" areas - no guarantee but better odds. So I go from shopping to the museum; from church to the local diner; from airplanes to subways; checking into a hotel to TG weekends. I hope this gives you the idea that I go anywhere a woman would. Apparently, my voice is good enough to pass. So I do use the femme version of my voice whenever I am dressed, even when I am at a TG gathering.

Hope this helps,

Leann

[Traceyjo]

I only go out on my own and often it is at night but only where I consider it to be fairly safe. Still their is always a risk. What saved me with the only incident when I felt in danger from a guy was my ability to run fast and my fitness to keep going. Luckily I was not wearing heels and he wasn't nealy as fit as me

[Nicole Erin]

Most of the time, people won't even think of starting crap unless they are in a group of three or more. It needs to be only two idiots if they are in a car though.

But kind of like Eryn said about going out - if it is that dangerous at some place, why even bother going? Are us TG trying to gain acceptance of the riff raff in crappy areas?

[Marleena]

Emmi I've posted this link before. Tips on TG safety. http://www.transgenderlondon.com/Safety%20for%20the%20TG%20Adult.htm

[sissystephanie]

In the 60+ years that I have been a CD I have been out in public dressed enfemme all over the U. S. A.! I have never had any problems anywhere! I do not carry any type of weapon, since I was trained to injure or kill a person in many different ways using only my hands! But as I said, I have never had any problems. For the past seven years, since my wife passed away, I have gone out most days dressed totally enfemme, but wearing no makeup and no wig. So I am a guy in womens clothing. Nobody ever says anything!

Most of the problems that CD's have with going out in public dressed enfemme are those in their own heads! In other words, the problems don't really exist! The CD's just think they do!! As long as you are decently covered, the vast majority of the public doesn't care what you are wearing or what you look like!!

[Julia_in_Pa]

Yes but those of us that are not cross dressers we have to protect ourselves for any situation since that situation is 24-7.

[Kate Simmons]

Don't let the pretty package fool you. Anyone who messes with this gal had better make sure their insurance is paid up. Just because I look innocuous doesn't mean I am.:battingeyelashes::)

[Stephenie S]

Lady's, lady's, lady's.

There is a reason women don't go out alone at night. Just don't do it! Heck, we won't even go to the women's room alone. THERE'S A REASON. Duh!

During the day, at the mall, at the bank, in the grocery store, at the post office, all those places are fine. But a woman alone at night? Just don't do it!! Find a friend to go out with. All this talk of firepower will only land you in jail. Oh, yes. Jail. Now that's a nice place to be all dressed and shaved. Yup.

Just don't go out alone at night. Cop's (as related in the above post), drunks, young men hopped up on testosterone and alcohol, all will assume you are a "working girl" if you are out alone after dark. And when and if they find out you are something else they are gonna be really ticked off. Just don't do it.

Auntie Stephenie

P.S. I am getting tired of saying this. Listen!

[Shananigans]

Yes but those of us that are not cross dressers we have to protect ourselves for any situation since that situation is 24-7.I think even guys (or, guy mode) need to be careful. This probably shows what a bad area my undergrad college was located in...but...one of Ryan's fraternity brothers was walking from the campus (which, is gated) to this Jet Pep (which, is right down the road). I have been to that Jet Pep a million times, so it doesn't seem like a bad idea to go there. However, I wouldn't have walked...but, I am girl...it doesn't seem that weird for a guy to walk. Anyway, while he was waking, these guys drove up in a car and held him at weapon point. (? That sounds weird, but I was trying to avoid the buzzword...I think y'all get the idea). So, anyway, he was held at weapon point and they told him to get in the trunk. And, so, he got in the trunk. They didn't drive too far. I think they probably drove to this neighborhood behind Jet Pep, because there are some hidden areas there. Then, they opened up the trunk and told him to give them his wallet, his clothes, and his shoes. So, of course, he gave them his wallet, his clothes, and his shoes. They left him to walk back to campus in his underwear.

The situation could have been A LOT worse. Luckily, he was just robbed. The things he lost can be replaced. However, I feel he was put in a "vulnerable" situation because he saw himself as an invincible 20yo male...no need to be on the alert.

[kimdl93]

In my expereince the threats are more imaginary than real. I use good judgement about where I go and when I go out. I dress to blend, I go to busy public venues and relax. I don't go on late nite walks in dark neighborhoods, or to parts of the city with reputations for high crime rates.

As a result, I don't worry about confrontations and thus far, I've had none whatsoever. As for getting the nerve, that's simply making a choice and following through on it. I crossed that bridge a while ago. And as for my voice, I talk in a normal tone. I just try to be myself, and this is me.

[JessHaust]

I have a secret weapon.....I'm a guy underneath!

[Kate Simmons]

I'm not too concerned about it nor do I use weapons as I'm watched over. It behooves them to keep me humanly intact because if I'm "taken out" it's a lose lose situation for the opposition and the "powers that be" know this. Even so, eventually I will reach the apex of my purpose and then things will really begin to happen.:)

[Bree-asaurus]

A great topic, Emmi!

From what I've seen, CD's just don't develop the street smarts that most of our GG sisters acquired in childhood. You constantly see posts about going out for walks late at night alone in empty shopping centers, stuff like that. Do you think any GG woman in her right mind would do something like that???

I was talking with a GG a couple of nights ago, for example, and she was doing some late nights at a local college. She said that before she leaves the building she calls security for an escort, something they are generally happy to provide.

So the major safety tip is BEHAVE LIKE A GG WOMAN, NOT LIKE A CROSSDRESSER!

A quick Google search for "Women Safety Tips" (without the quotes) will yield hundreds of suggestions. Click here (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/HealthyWoman/story?id=125859&page=1) for an example.

Hugs,
Persephone.

(No particular personal endorsement of the particular tips on the indicated website is expressed nor implied. The author is not responsible for the consequences of any actions consistent with these tips or otherwise).

Yeah... the best self defense is not putting yourself into dangerous situations in the first place.

[Anna Lorree]

That of which I am forbidden to speak of here (with a permit and legally, I might add), Mace, and keys, but most importantly I keep my head on a swivel. Situational awareness will save ANYBODY's life, male or female. There are bad and desperate people out there (plus I live in a place where redneck IS considered a compliment), and there seem to be more of them with the bad economy. Don't be paranoid, but do be aware and cautious.

Anna

[Jenniferathome]

Emmi, First, let me state, you can go anywhere dressed that you would go as a male. I would never walk through Watts or Compton regardless of my clothes. The only caveat I would add is that late at night, I would walk comfortably to a parking garage as a male and less so as a woman.

Confidence is a must and that translates into you ability to blend in. If you are truly "looking over your shoulder" or even have your eyes darting about, you are calling attention to yourself. Walk like you belong and you give fewer cues to others to take a deep look at you. And it is always easier to be out with a friend or two. Of course, the best outing mate is a woman.

If you go out alone, go where woman normally go, alone: shopping malls, clothing, shoe, furniture stores, etc. And dress appropriately for the place you are going. An evening gown won't fly at Walmart. Lastly, your voice WILL give you away. Do your best and you'll find that no one really cares. You are a potential paying customer. You will be welcomed.

Go out. Have fun.

[ReineD]

Emmi, you've gotten great advice on general methods of protection. But, I wonder if you feel that going out as Emmi is a great deal more dangerous as not.

Just to put things in perspective, if you're out in well populated areas, in the parts of town that are not known to be dangerous, during day light or early-ish evening hours, your chances of having anything bad happen to you are as minimal or as great as they are with any other GG. I'm talking about places like malls, shopping areas, or any other place that are not red light districts full of bars or dark parking lots at 3 AM.

Although it is always prudent for anyone to be aware of their surroundings and have a plan B, please do not believe there are hordes of people waiting out in the mainstream to lynch a Transgender when they run into one. I'm trying to give you the middle of the road experience here, and take your thinking away from the extremes, just in case you're going there. My SO and I have been going out together (or she has alone) for years and I've not felt anything other than safe, just as safe as when I'm alone. On the other hand, we don't hang out in dangerous places late at night.

:hugs:

[CHEVELLE]

In my line of work I am ALWAYS alone and NEVER in the nice part of town. Once I was waiting for a load to haul out of Oakland California. Been waiting for a couple of days and I didn't know I was in the worst part of the city less than a tenth of a mole from where the raiders play football. What I didn't know was that this is not a place to hang out because it didn't LOOK I all that bad and I really had no where else to wait and one evening I went out to find some food and by the time i got back to my truck I realized how alone I was had bad vibes and got the hell outta dodge! As for defense I have never been en femme all the way and alone yet. I am a former high school wrestler so I am comfortable fighting from the ground where all finds end up anyway. I also have had several years of aikido and studied improvised weaponry and knife fighting from a family friend who learned it during the Vietnam conflict and had fought that in the service. I am 6'ft 5" tall and am deceptively fast when I need to be. My dad calls my slaw saunter a defense mechanism which I never realized I dobut it works well

[Alissa]

I have a permit to carry. Sure, we can all avoid bad areas of town but that is not full proof. Violent crime happens everywhere to people regardless of how they are dressed.

[Sandra]

I suggest that members read the rules (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/faq.php?faq=main_rules#faqhttp://www.crossdressers.com/forums/faq.php?faq=main_rules#faq_content_content)


The discussion of guns, using, buying etc are not permitted.

Some of you are treading a very fine line with your posts.

[Sheren Kelly]

In DC there was a rash of cars being "bumped" and when the victim got out to check for damages, they were mugged. If you are alone or feel threatened, go to where lots of people are!

[NadiaEvelina]

Hi there, mmm I would say that if your not so passable you need to be accompanied. Alone is too much exposure and unsafe. Although I have seen many girls out and about in the streets, like nothing. Do take that pepper spray in your purse and behave as much as a GG does, but if the situation gets out of hand, mam it's time to take off your wig and pull out the muscle and kick some **s. Lol if you are confident of course... anything to save your life. I also would try to avoid violence always(as any civilized person would do), sometimes its better to just run away. Never fight a battle that you cannot win. Also, this is not relevant but personally I did have some Kung Fu training back in San Francisco.

Encore is just better and safer experience plus your friend can record your actions.

Have fun!

[StevieTV]

The Ottawa news just had a feature on how women can defend themselves while out and about. There is someone targeting women in the Ottawa area presently. He comes up from behind and pulls their pants down. The karate expert mentioned that you need to respond vocally and forcefully in the first 3 seconds to surprise the attacker.

[Stacey Summer]

Oh Shananigans, I would love to try making you jump. I love making people jump (Yes I'm a big kid) and someone who is always aware of their surroundings is a challenge!

For the OP. As others have said, and Shananigans said very well. Learning to be aware of your surroundings, the people around you and a number of different routes you can take is the best defense available. If someone does attack you, be as loud as you can, shout and holler (Hey, if you're out en femme anyway you're not THAT worried about being read)

Carrying a weapon in your purse is a useless tactic most of the time, because attackers rarely give you warning. Similarly, you can be a 5th Dan in any martial art you care to name but depending on how you're dressed it won't help. I'm a black belt in Aikido but it's almost useless to me when I'm wearing a skirt/dress and heels. So if you are attacked, act like a lady, go for the groin, for the eyes, stamp on their feet with your heels.

If they have a knife...well that's a "depends" situation. It depends on how you're dressed, what training you've got, how they're acting etc. If they look like they know what they're doing and you've got no training then I would do whatever they want, short of going anywhere with them. Do whatever they want. There are ways of dealing with it but it's extremely risky and generally not worth the risk, especially if it's just a "Gimme your money and stuff" attack.

And as always, the best defense is not to put yourself in a place or situation that could lead to an attack.

[Beth Mays]

I spent a number of years in the military as well and have the scars to prove it, damn proud too!
whatever is in the bad guys hand I plan to trump it by 1.5... or better.

[Eryn]

In a desperate attempt to steer this thread back on topic...

Note to self: Apparently, bear country is not a safe place to go while dressed. A good alternative for an outdoorsy dressed evening is Bass Pro Shop, where all the bears are stuffed.

179258

[Ellyn]

It apppears that most of the replies seem to focus on dangers at night. In my city there have been a few events in the daytime that should serve as a warning not to let your vigilance down even in daytime. There was a nun raped in a downtown carpark one afternoon a few years ago, and thereafter one major mall store was offering to walk customers to their cars. Muggings have happened in early evening, and some muggings have been for the theft of the victims clothes, both men's and women's. It might appear that thieves are becoming fashion followers, but many of the targetted clothes are sports related, such as Bulls jackets, and leatherware.

[Tracii G]

I carefully choose my area before I go out enfemme.This means I have a destination whether it is shopping or going to a club.Always aware of what is around me.
Combat experience will instill that in you and it never leaves.Thank goodness!
I do pack a knife on my person @ yes I am legal. I have a second degree brown belt in Shaolin karate as well.
It is wise to go with friends and not hang out where you shouldn't.
My very wise karate sensi told me "A nail sticking out will always get hammered down". The meaning is don't stick out in a crowd or act like you don't belong wherever it is you are.

[Persephone]

Note to self: Apparently, bear country is not a safe place to go while dressed. A good alternative for an outdoorsy dressed evening is Bass Pro Shop, where all the bears are stuffed.

Love it! I'd forgotten that I'd worn that particular top that night in the Bass Pro wilderness.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[cyndigurl45]

I am a Police Woman so I always carry, I find it easier to carry concealed in my purse then on my hip, I did find an interesting video on how to carry concealed in a dress, but it appears that the mere mention is against the rules so I can not provide the link. However, do a google search for carry concealed in a dress and follow the youtube video link...

[ReineD]

Everyone, I'd like to remind everyone of the OP:



How many TG girls know karate or other martial arts to protect themselves from possible confrontations? When you do go out how do you enjoy yourself without constantly looking over your shoulder? Do you go out with other people, TG or not or do you go it alone?


Those of you who live in the US are well aware of the gun controversy here, the various pro and anti-regulation interest groups, whether or not it is a constitutional right, and the fact this is a contentious issue among people who are staunchly one political party or the other, especially in an election year. :p

Several mods have deleted several posts by people who completely ignore the OP's question and who focus their entire post on guns, their licences to carry, having a gun that is bigger than the other, etc.

PLEASE, let's stop the gun talk! Also, your past military services and training, although admirable (and thank you :)), really have nothing to do with the topic. If you want to propose several ways that Emmi can protect herself (and you mention a gun in passing), that's fine. But the reason a new rule was put in place discouraging gun talk was to prevent seemingly innocent comments about guns to blow up into political flame wars about this. Many people are staunchly pro-guns and many others are staunchly against them.

If this thread is going to become a vehicle to discuss guns as being the only way for Emmi to protect herself (... besides, who knows whether or not Emmi is even interested in getting a gun, her OP wasn't about guns at all), I'll have to consider the majority of posts off topic now and close down the thread.

[Launa]

Most people here have the best advice for you and that is not to put yourself in strange situations. I think most of our fears are in our heads and if we let our imaginations run wild then you`ll be consumed with fear and never venture out into the beautiful world. I don`t think you have to look over your shoulder that much in public, its the stares you can get that make you uncomfortable. If you still want to learn martial arts because it makes you feel safer then I suggest taking Russian Sambo or Jeet Kune Do fighting systems but those are generally hard to find clubs and instructors. Your next best thing is BJJ. Concentrate on your trips and throws, come up with 3-4 favorite techniques that suit you and drill them, drill them, drill them until they are down perfect. Whatever you do, dont try and learn too much all at once. Remember there is no referee in the streets so you need to make your moves fast then escape, that means in under 20 seconds. PM me if you want to know more about what I think but in my opinion don`t waste time on learning up kicks, axe kicks, ridge hands, back fists, patterns etc.. They take years to master and are not the most effective in the streets. I really don`t like the idea of carrying weapons but each to their own.
My biggest fear is getting into an altercation with someone, then the cops show up and you have to go into an open court and explain what happened....

[Jessica86]

Martial arts won't save you from the point and click or point and thrust methods. I will direct your attention to the banner at the top of your screen. Fire***s are the best option in my opinion, but we can't talk about them....which makes absolutely no sense.

[ReineD]

Well Jessica, there are tons of people who shop the malls, walk downtown with their kids, go to the Dairy Queen for a banana split, ladies who have luncheons, students who go to libraries, kids who see movies, who don't even think about the possibility of being attacked by someone with a firearm. Yes, there is always the possibility just as there is of getting run over by a car. But the possibility is remote just so long as you don't hang out where you're not supposed to.

So. Since we can't stay away from focusing on the need to carry firearms, I'm closing the thread. We don't want to scare poor Emmi to death and also, I think all the advice that anyone can possibly give has been posted anyway.

Emmi, I hope you're received the answers you were looking for.

Thread closed.