Guilt.

[suzy1]

One of the themes running through the threads and posts here is the guilt that members feel or have felt about CDing. Some have said that we have all felt guilt at sometime.
But whenever I read that comment I shake my head. I have never felt any guilt because I can not and never have found any reason to feel guilty for crossdresseing.

Yes, I do understand the reasons why others do but they are all illogical to me. [Mr Spock? My ears are a bit pointy at the top]

So how about a show of hands here. All those that are like me put your hands up.

Am I really in a minority here?
Am I really that lucky?
Am I really that sensible?
Am I really that sexy? [Sorry I could not resist that one. It has nothing to do with this thread]:eek:
Am I really this happy?

Suzy Transporting up………………………………………… .

[kimdl93]

I like you - does that mean I can raise my hand?

I do think you're all of those things - especially lucky and sensible for not being caught up with the guilt thing. I have to confess, I lived way too much of my life absorbed by guilt. Its debilitating and destructive. Wish we could all have our sensibility!

[ArleneRaquel]

My days of guilt are long gone. I harm no one and don't force on my lifestyle on anyone else. Just do unto others as you would do unto yourself, treat everyone as a fellow human and don't demonize others.

[Karren H]

I felt guilty for eating 2 big a$$ pieces of chocolate cake at a friends retirement party.. Bit now I'm over it.

[Sandra1746]

Long ago, when I was still in HS, and earlier, I felt guilty about dressing. That was mostly the home environment. My mother was oppressively religious and if she had a patron saint it was "our lady of perpetual guilt". One way of enforcing obedience in children in my family was instilling a feeling of guilt infused with religion. After moving away and learning a bit more and growing up a bit more I gradually eliminated any feeling of guilt.

Now there's no guilt, just a knowledge that I have to take care not to push my wife too far too fast. She's relatively accepting but she has her moments. My dressing harms nobody and is a source of enjoyment and serenity for me.

Hugs,
Sandra1746

[Marleena]

Beam me up Spotty too.:D

Life is too short to feel guilty about putting a dress on.:)

Big friggin deal!

[sissystephanie]

In all the years that I have crossdressed I don't ever remember feeling guilty! And why should I? My dear late wife loved me in drab and as Stephanie!! I have always dressed to please myself, not the rest of the world!! Well yes, I did dress enfemme in ways to please my dear wife, but that was for effect!

Now that she is gone, I still dress to please myself!! There is no guilt and no reason for any!! It is my life, and I will live it my way!!

[ArleneRaquel]

Beam me up Spotty too.:D

Life is too short to feel guilty about putting a dress on.:)

Big friggin deal!
So true darlin. Another fab post. :)

[Leila Be]

My only potential feelings of guilt are if one of my two children (7 & 15) somehow discover Leila Be. Other than that, I think we need to honor what makes us feel sensual and comfortable. You might night ever be as sexy as you'd like, but as a man expressing his femininity, I think it's wonderful. Chin up! Onward!

[mollymature]

I raise my arms for you suzy and say that i love my girly life and no guilt here,maybe easy to say when i am single girl.Kiss from molly

[Rachel Renee]

Not one iota of shame or guilt. Ever.

"Jim, they just released their disrupter at us, shall I give the order to fire?"

ENERGIZE forward shields!

""Spock. They...are...different....from you and me.......these...............Clingons............. ...but................how different....are....they? .......Really?"

Our mission.......................is a........peaceful one...........ans sooooo........we will........attempt.........communication.....

"CAPTAIN!!! "

Yes .........Mr..........Checov?

"SIR, THEY HAVE FIRED A PHOTON TORPEDO!"

"Lt. Sulu......full evasive.....manoeuvers!" "Lt Checov, fire .........all ........weapons......"

"So captain, so much for differences and commonalities eh?"

"Yes Spock...so......much.......for......'whatever you just said'........
I'm always a sucker for a good Star Trek reference!:D

No guilt here in more than ten years. Too much fun to feel guilty. For me, at least.

[Lynn Marie]

I felt guilty for hiding my crossdressing from both my wife (now ex), and my wonderful lady friend after my divorce who is now also "ex". I sure miss my lady friend, but I don't miss the hiding and guilt that went with it. The internet has done wonders in freeing us from guilt and shame by giving us a shared experience. Can you now imagine thinking that you are the only one!

[NathalieX66]

Been down that guilt & shame road.
Smoking kills 5.4 million people a year worldwide....crossdressing kills zero.

[Barbara Ella]

I am only 8 months into my crossdressing journey, and am out to my wife early on, and joined this forum 2 months into it all, so I have not had the length of time to develop any guilt feelings. Sure, sadness and questioning when wife was not accepting, but not guilt. Not about what I do, what I am, not guilt. Just lots of questions just like Suzy has........well, maybe not all. No question here about me being sexy (interpretation open to question).

Barbara

[KellyJameson]

I feel guilt if I violate my own moral standards but my moral standards are mine, created by my own powers of reason and sense of justice not by what others have tried to convince or coerce me into believing or accepting.

The idea that donning a piece of clothing can be evil or immoral in a nuclear world where child abuse, war, torture and concentration camps are common place is ludicrous.

[Wonderwho]

The only guilt I feel is that I have lied and cheated on my wife and best friend for so long with myself. I have hidden this life and all the trappings from someone I love and now there may be a price to pay. Am I guilty of being human and having faults and the desire to be someone that I am not, YES!
It may not be guilt but perhaps saddness that I did not respect myself or me SO enough to come out 20 some years age, but there is the rub, it's a 50/50 crap shoot when you tell your SO about CDing, some of you know what can happen, some of you may find out what will happen.
Am I guilty of hurting someone I love, YES, am I gulity for being a CDer NO.
Am I guilty of hiding the truth from friends and famiely, YES, am I guilty of fighting the battle we all have fought in our own heads and having at least won a small battle, YES, do I feel Guilty for being Guilty, YES, the question is do I care anymore, NO!!!!
Wonderwho

[sierra_g]

I feel guilt for what I am putting my family through. That's all though.

[geri-tg.]

No guilt here. I am who I am and I love it.

[Kaz]

I feel guilt for what I am putting my family through. That's all though.

That's me... I feel guilty for the crap I have dumped on my family over this over the years... after that... I am enjoying being me!

Right now... no guilt, just stakeholder management!

[Alice Torn]

I have struggles with guilt and shame all of my life, even before dressing. Slowly doing better.

[Sarah Doepner]

On the advise of counsel I wish to exercise my rights under the fifth amendment to the Constitution and respectfully refuse to answer on the grounds that my answer may tend to incriminate me.

wait, that was for a different question. Yeah, I felt guilty for a very long time. First because I didn't really know anything about what it was I was feeling and doing. Once I figured it out and discovered I wasn't the only crossdresser out there part of that went away. Next I felt guilty because of the time I was taking away from my wife and family. Once my wife knew and accepted this part of me, I didn't feel guilty any longer. I'm okay now and happy to be here in the witness protection program.

[Jilmac]

Through all my years of crossdressing I have felt plenty of guilt whether self induced or laid upon me by a spouse or some non accepting soul. Along with the guilt went shame and again either self induced or otherwise. The shame and guilt subsided shortly after my "coming out" in 2007, since then I'm proud of who and what I am. I no longer feel guilty because I know crossdressing was some sort of destiny for me.

[Frédérique]

I have never felt any guilt because I can not and never have found any reason to feel guilty for crossdresseing.

Same here! Not only have I never felt guilt about crossdresseing, I haven’t felt guilt about my crossdressing, either! :heehee:


So how about a show of hands here. All those that are like me put your hands up.

What is this, A RUSH concert? Can you see? My hands are UP – I surrender!!! :surrender

Am I really in a minority here? Perhaps… :thinking:
Am I really that lucky? Yes… :clap:
Am I really that sensible? Is “sensible” the right word? :strugglin
Am I really that sexy? I’m WAY sexier, Suzy!!! :battingeyelashes:
Am I really this happy? Of course you are! :)

[natacsha]

I feel guilty for being so sexy!!! actually, guilt can become an issue if you are doing things that may be destructive, either to you or others. I also think my insides are competing with each other and this battle may result in an over-activity of white blood cells destroying my body thus resulting in cancer. Not really. :tongueout Society has a funny way of making me feel guilty for those who grew up by a different creed and mindset than us because they really have no idea what its like being me.:heehee:

[Cynthia Anne]

Suzy I think I'm a lot like you! However I am guilty of thinking that YOU are that SEXY!:D Hugs!:hugs:

[AlexisRaeMoon]

Used to feel guilty for dressing. Now just for keeping it from my spouse. Been one of those rough weeks when I'm really wishing I could get it out open, but still haven't been able to make the words come...

[Claire Cook]

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I would get into my Mom's undies drawer .. yes, there was guilt and shame there. Realization and self-acceptance took care of that. Well, we all (or most of us) grow up at some point. Never had a hassle in keeping it from my wife -- she's known for more than 40 years, but I can see that hiding it can lead to guilt feelings.

[Just had to get some Star Wars in here...]

[Kaz]

Used to feel guilty for dressing. Now just for keeping it from my spouse. Been one of those rough weeks when I'm really wishing I could get it out open, but still haven't been able to make the words come...

Be careful what you wish for... that genie is always ready to play tricks on you!

[erickka]

Beam me up Spotty too.:D

Life is too short to feel guilty about putting a dress on.:)

Big friggin deal!

You said a mouthful sister! I agree with you 100% !

[noeleena]

Hi,

Absolutly none no way & why should one feel guilty any way, Im a Renaissance member S C A ,& our men wear dress's & other garb, do they , none i know of. so why should we some 100's of years later feel guilty .

I was dressed when i was born in lovely dress's i dressed in front of around 80 people age 11, & my Mum was there as well no big deal breaker, in fact the people thought we looked pretty good, fully dolled up
.
& i spent 2 years dressing for reasons you all know, so no way will i ever feel guilty as to being who i am,

...noeleena...

[Traceyjo]

My hand is up Suzy, I'm definitely with you. It looks like we are in the minority and we are lucky. There's no doubt we are sensible because why should we feel guilty doing something we love as long as it's not hurting anyone else. Oh yes, at least I certainly feel very sexy and I'm ecstatically happy whenever I'm en femme.

[Foxglove]

What's really fun is if you've had a (very) strict, religious upbringing. Guilt is the name of the game. If you don't feel guilty, you're damned. Because if you don't feel guilty, you won't repent, and so you can't be saved.

Now what is it you're supposed to feel guilty about? Well, it doesn't really matter. Just as long as you feel guilty. And if you're really desperate to find things to feel guilty about, we can come up with a long list for you. Just about anything can be construed as a sin, depending on how you look at it.

And just to make it more fun, we can give you a double layer of guilt. You see, Jesus suffered so much for your sake, you worthless ****, and you're not even properly grateful. And God is giving you salvation as a free gift, even though you don't deserve it because you're a despicable sinner through and through, and have you ever properly thanked him for that?

So you see, they get you coming and going. Eventually you start feeling guilty about just being alive, because if you're alive, you can't be doing nothing, you must be doing something, and whatever that something is, it's bound to be a sin. And we haven't even mentioned CDing yet. What could be worse than that?

So sometimes when you come out of your childhood and youth carrying that sort of baggage, it can take you a while to sort it all out and realize that in all likelihood it was a lot of rubbish.

Do I still feel guilty about my clothes? No. But maybe I should ask my dad about it.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[Kaz]

Guilt is all in the mind. It is a social construct and therefore easily deconstructed. I feel guilt to those who I have let down... nothing more nothing less. I feel no guilt in dressing per se, but I do feel guilt in the effect it has had on some loved ones...

[Stephanie47]

I never felt guilty about cross dressing, except for the time I snapped my mother's bra strap when I was a teenager. Now, many years ago I was self loathing and self hatred for cross dressing. Back in the 1950's and 1960's cross dressing was for perverts and gays. The younger generation has much more information concerning the issue. There may be some guilt about spending too much money on feminine clothing, but, that's the same guilt as spending too much on a coin or stamp collection. How does one feel guilty about being born a certain way?

[suchacutie]

I've felt guilt over a lot of things, but Tina has never been one of them. It's been easy for me along that line since my wife was instrumental in discovering Tina. As a result Tina has been a joint project of our marriage so guilt never could be an issue. Tina is who she is!

[AlexisRaeMoon]

Be careful what you wish for... that genie is always ready to play tricks on you!

That genie is analogy is probably the best I've ever heard! That's exactly it - once you let that genie out of the bottle, there's no putting it back. It would be awesome if you could just say, "hey, I like to dress like a girl," and if it goes south, you can get a "do over." But once it's out there, it's out there. There's no prentending you didn't say it.

[Contessa]

If you feel guilty then don't do it. I am having a fabulous time. I pick clothes that I like. And I want to look good in them. Its too much fun. There is no guilt except for not having curves in the right places. I still have to buy them.

Tess

[Noemi]

It takes time, well it took me time to accept that I am transgender, well you know I put it off and away just as long as I could. I think when I hit forty, well maybe late thirties and had stopped being so athletic. My body chemistry changed and I can no longer keep my feminine
self partitioned off, well I never really could it effected me always, but I did not dress for about ten years in my late twenties all the way to about 35.

Now I am very aware of Noemi and some times think that I am in serious trouble, that there is no going back anymore, or just throwing all my clothes away(no more purges)
I do not feel guilty, or play the tapes of my conservative RC upbringing.

People do not know a thing about being trans anything. I ignore everybody now, I am the one who knows things. I mean I listen and am very aware and respectful of others but I do not need to know what they are thinking, or really care about what they think. I end up avoiding or forgetting certain people that are just too stupid or mean, but they really are the ones moving away from me by being narrow and inflexible.

[k lynn]

Use to feel guilty when I was yonger but for the last severalyears I let go of the guilt just like being me

[Raychel]

I do have things that I feel guilty about at times. But for the past several years. crossdressing is not one of them.

[JessHaust]

Yes of course, early on, when the world said that I should dress like a boy, but my inside told me otherwise, I felt guilty for giving in to that feeling. But, like fear, I eventually learned that it(guilt) was of my own making and could be put away. So, no more.

Are you in the minorty here? If you never, ever felt any guilt in the least, even when you were young, then yes.
Are you that lucky? Maybe, but a challenge never overcome is a lesson never learned.
Are you that sensible? I don't think that any of this relates to sensibility.
Are you that sexy? Well, your picture certianly is.
Are you really this happy? That, dear, is a question only you can answer.

[Beth Wilde]

Guilt? Naaaah! It's not illegal :)